We start our weekend with the slamming Saturday Night on Velocity.
Cole is filling in for Bill Demott. He spends the entire show crapping on Josh and the matches and their competitors which on this evening all happen to be cruiserweights.
Match #1
Ultimo Dragon vs Shannon Moore
Dragon controls the arm and gets a snap mare. Shannon escapes and grabs a headlock, followed by a shoulder block, and slaps Ultimo Dragon out of the air. Dragon comes firing back with a leg sweep, running kick to Moore's back and then the chest. He tosses Moore to the outside, but Moore pulls his legs out from Dragon on the Asai moonsault attempt. Moore grabs a silly looking submission attempt that does not look painful, see above. Dragon breaks free and misses a leg lariat. Shannon hits a flurry of elbow strikes to Dragon's neck. He follows it up with a snap suplex and a chin lock. Dragon fights out but gets caught with an enziguri. Dragon eventually gets a hurricanrana and both men are down. A strike exchange is won by Ultimo. The Japanese star hits a springboard moonsault right into Moore's skull with his knee. Moore recovers and hits a neck breaker, drop kick, and a float over top rope neck breaker for 2. Mathews tells us that move is called the Mooregasm. If I have to know that so do you. Dragon gets a kick to the gut and attempts the Asai DDT, Moore counters with a sleeper. Dragons escapes via a jaw breaker and into an Asai DDT to pick up the win in 6:16. (***)
Match #2
Akio vs Funaki
They trade go behinds and Funaki gets a head lock takeover, hip toss and a drop kick. This entire time Cole is loudly mooing because Josh mentioned that No Way Out is at the Cow Palace. Akio finally gets on the offensive with a jumping leg lariat and a surfboard. Funaki counters it into a backslide for a pin attempt. Akio grabs a front face lock. Funaki after escaping gets a enziguri, followed by a back body drop and a bulldog. Akio misses an up and over, but hits a leg lariat. Funaki catches Akio on the top for the Rising Sun DDT for the upset win in 5:01. (*3/4)
Match #3
Scotty 2 Hotty vs Sakoda
Sakoda grabs an armbar. Scotty escapes and gets a shoulder tackle. Sakoda tries to throw him over the top, but Scotty skins the car and does the crane poise all Karate Kid. A pair of arm drags and head scissors by Scotty. Sakoda nails a drop kick to the knee and begins to go to work on the joint. Multiple submission holds used by Sakoda. Scotty uses his good leg to push Sakoda into the ring post. Scotty hits a back body drop before Sakoda hits a second drop kick into the knee. Mr. Hotty comes back with a superkick and then jumps on his bad leg to perform the W-O-R-M. Cole even mentions, "Well so much for the knee injury." Sakoda gets his arm under the ropes to break the pin. Scotty argues with the ref for a very long time. When he goes back to Sakoda, he gets raked in the eyes and rolled up with feet on the ropes but just barely as Sakoda only gently places his feet there for half a second in 5:38. (3/4*)
Things when downhill fast on this episode. Let's see how Sunday Night Heat treats us.
Match #1
Christian vs Lance Storm
Match #2
Hurricane & Rosey vs Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak
Cade and Hurricane start the match, and Hurricane gets a quick hip toss. A blind tag to Rosey for a double team hip toss and a diving headbutt. Cade is able to escape and get a tag to Jindrak for his picture perfect drop kick. He attempts to irish whip Rosey by the Somoan is too big to move. Rosey tags out and Hurricane hits a second rope leg drop. Behind the ref's back, Cade grabs Hurricane's leg to trip him and ram his knee into the ring post. Jindrak works over the knee and tags out to Cade so he can work over the knee as well. Hurricane manages to get a drop toe hold and a running uppercut. Hot tag to Rosey to clean house with a back body drop, scoop slam, and a standing splash. Jindrak breaks the count, Hurricane clears out Jindrak. Rosey has Cade up in a fall away slam position, but while the ref is getting the Hurricane out of the ring, Jindrak chop blocks Rosey. It's enough to get the win since Jindrak knocks Rosey's foot off the rope in 5:01. (**)
Match #3
Matt Hardy vs Booker T
Matt Fact #1: Matt still has his appendix.
Matt Fact #2: Matt is a fan of miso soup.
Commentary mentions that Hardy spent the longest of any Raw superstar in the Rumble when he was in fact third. Matt Hardy mocks Booker's hand looking and head shaking. Matt gets to the ropes to break an armbar. Booker shoulder block sends Matt to the outside and allows us to take an early commercial break. Back from the break the boys are exchanging strikes. Booker runs into a stun gun and Matt nails a swinging neck breaker and grabs a headlock. Booker escapes and misses a kick and Matt kicks the ropes into Booker T's little T. Booker gets back into the only for Matt to stand on his throat. Hardy gets another neck breaker. Matt lands a second rope leg drop for a 2 count and locks in a full nelson. Booker rams Hardy into the corner to break free. They exchange strikes. Booker T nails a flying forearm, spin kick, and heel kick for a 2 count. He goes back on the attack with a back body drop, heel kick spinarooni but misses the axe kick. Hardy gets a side effect for a near fall. Matt sets up for the twist of fate but Booker shoves him into the ropes for a spine buster. Hardy crawls to the apron and when Booker heads over to follow up, Hardy guillotines him. Hardy heads to the top rope but gets intercepted in mid air with a jumping kick to the face for Booker to pick up the win in 9:36. (***)
