Year in Review: 2021

                                                                         

 Before I get into this yearly report if I could be indulged for a moment.  Please watch this video.   This takes time and things have been shitty at work so shove it up your butts.  

The league began on a beautiful Saturday in Big E's backyard and it ended with stuff shoved up my backyard with the unluckiest season in league history.  Speaking of the draft let's take a look back at that faithful day. 

The best first round pick was the last one, Johnathan Taylor has led SMBR to a first round bye. 

Honorable Mention: Austin Eckler

 The worst first round pick was Patrick Mahomes based on a points per game relative to his position.  Outhouse Mahomes while 5th in the league for QB scoring is only 5 points a game more than Teddy Two Gloves which is not what you are aiming for when you dislocate your shoulder reaching in the first round. While first round picks McCaffery and Henry missed a large portion of the year, they produced while healthy.  Heck Henry is still the 9th highest scoring running back in fantasy.  

Honorable Mention: Saquon Barkley who finished in scoring this season between Devin Singletary and Mike Davis.  

Record Book

High Score BNE 180.75 Week 5

Low EBD 44.37 Week 10

Points from drafted players: Most SMBR 1536.23 (94.7% of total) 

Least BL 767.38 (53.9% of total)

Most TD in a week RM 12 Week 2 

Least TD in a week, once each for HC/BCC

Most this season RM 84 Least $$$ 48

Most rushing yards per game: SMBR 265.71

Least rushing yards per game: BCC 92.07

Most receiving yards per game TC 332.71 Least LZ 212.28

FG: Season BL 32     RM least 16

Biggest Blowout RM beat $ by 99.47 in Week 2.  

Closest game: BL over TC by .04

Final Rankings 

1. TC 120-62

2. SMBR 116-66

3. CB 113-69

4. HC 109-73

5. BG 109-73

6. BNE 104-78

--------------------------------

7. BCC 92-90

8. LZ 88-94

9. BL 82-100

10. IS 82-100

-------------------------

11. TS 77-105

12. ODS 71-111

13. EBD 67-115

---------------------------

14. $$$ 49-133

The unluckiest based on this metric was HC being 5 spaces behind their spot in the standings. Although BCC had his playoff spot in his final season stolen by the Lone Wolves as well.  Bricklayers was also very unlucky but so unlucky to cost him a playoff spot.

The luckiest was TS gaining 4 spots and a playoff berth in the standings. The Shoes also is undeserving of their playoff spot based on this metric. 

Wins against the mean. This metric takes into account Pure schedule luck.  How many weeks did you score in the top 7.

1. TC/RM 10

3. HC/BG 9

5. SMBR/BNE/BCC/LZ 8 (LZ didn't deserve his playoff spot here on point total but at least it is defensible) 

9.  BL/IS/TS 6-8  (TS is one of the luckiest playoff teams in the history of the league by both metrics)

12. ODS/EBD 4

14. $$$ 2

Although it didn't affect his spot in the standings, Dollars should have clinched the toilet bowl several weeks ago.  

                                                                            

Tinker Stinkers stole my spot. By every mathematical measure. His tiny hands have grabbed what his team did not deserve.  This will haunt me until next season.  Please destroy him, Steve.  

Sergio won league pick em with a record of 57-41; edging out the Erics by 1.  Jason was last with a record of 44-54.  Pick the playoff games here

Math website playoff first round predictions, I can't do beyond that because Yahoo lists me as a playoff team which fucking sucks.  I can't wait for all of the notifications to set my roster. Fucking stupid.

BNE 47% vs RM 52.43%

BG 64.68 vs LZ 35.53

TC 69.1 vs 30.9

Since it calculated it SMBR 52.37 vs HC 46.73

My hopes for the playoffs.

HTPB Week 20.13

 

Week 13 has been the end of the season for decades here in HTPB and it still was for Big Cat Crushers and Eh Bid Dude as they were eliminated from playoff contention.  It's starting to settle out as the last week of the regular season is upon us.  

SMBR established themselves as the team to beat in HTPB this year as he ended the season and career of Big Cat Crushers.  The fifth highest score of the week was not enough for Big Cat as the twenty year run of bad luck continued.  In frightening news for HTPB, Lamar Jackson has been kind of shitty for a month and in 4 out of the last 5 weeks, he's broken 130 points with a low score of 109 or as Dollars would call it a monster week.  SMBR just needs to beat Dollars to clinch the first round bye, so allow me to be the first to congratulate SMBR on the first round bye.  

"Big Cat still had a good week."

-Cory

Eh Bid Dude welcomed a child into the world this week and was beaten by one.  EBD season was put to rest this week barring a miracle of epic proportions.  EBD was able to make it close due to his kicker and defense combining for 30 which EBD has said this season means your team is shitty. BG didn't listen to a wise sage who said Minshew Mania was a better option than Teddy Two Gloves and narrowly survived his ignorance.  BG is one of two teams that can have the first round bye.  Eh Bid Dude did clinch the highest place of his AOE Human Centipede buddies.  Live look at the playoff race for AOE this year.  Enjoy the sidelines fellas.

                                                            (photoshop credit: Nick Webb)

                                                            (hilarious idea credit: me like fucking always) 

In a matchup of the two lowest scores of the week (weak), Italian Stallions defeated Tinker Stinkers, 91-64.  While this game made eyes bleed it did save Italian Stallions from the Toilet Bowl and put Tinker Stinkers on the brink of elimination.  David Montgomery and Chris Godwin were the only people not to suck in this game.  So many people sucked, both quarterbacks sucked, AJ Green and Kendrick Bourne sucked, Jason and Dom sucked.  

ODS kept his slim playoff hopes alive (literally 0.13%) as he defeated BL.  Bricklayers finally got the game from Javonte Williams that he traded Cooper Kupp for, as Williams scored 26 of Bricklayers' 92 points. (Kupp has pedestrian 20.45)  Bricklayers is one of two teams that can still get toiletries as he tries to complete the toilet, champion, toilet sandwich.  

The closest game of the week saw Rush'n Missiles finally get into the playoffs for the first time in career as he edged out The Collegians.  Without his four Packers, RM still managed to pack TC's shit.  The Collegians were unfairly put behind the 8 ball with their players not scoring every touchdown that occurred in the NFL. Both of these two teams are locked into the playoffs and can't get the bye.  Taysom Hill played the shittiest 22 point game of all time.  

It seemed like earlier in the week that Dollars would be getting Kamara, Brown, and Cooper back. Nope. The Shoes took advantage of playing Dollars, a secured the victory which puts him at the precipice of a playoff berth.  Led by his defense and Sony Michel being the lead back for a week, Los Zapatistas scored 130 points to get the win.  Dollars hopes to finally get healthy the final week as he looks to keep SMBR out of the number one seed but will try to do so without Antonio Brown who has been suspended for brain damage. 

Hardcore Cabinet kept his playoff hopes alive but lost two more players to injury. BNE clinched a playoff spot with the loss. Justin Herbert lost the duel to a returning Kyler Murray and set up Hardcore Cabinet to control their own destiny.  BNE thought Gallup would be the X-Factor but it turns out the X-Factor was Urban Meyer hating James Robinson and not giving him any carries until the game was over.  Hardcore Cabinet lives to fight another day in a defacto playoff game vs the Shoes. 

Power Rankings (which team is the best)

1. SMBR 116-53

---------------------------

2. BG 108-61

3. TC 107-62

4. HC 104-65

5. CB 101-68

--------------------------

6. BNE 91-76

7. BCC 88-81

----------------------------

8. LZ 81-88

9. BL 72-97

10. TS 69-100

11. IS 68-101

12. ODS 65-104

13. EBD 65-104

------------------

14. $$ 46-123

Tied for unluckiest are HC/BCC/BL who each are 4 spots below where they are projected, and ODS is now the luckiest being 3 spots higher.

Record against the mean which is based purely on schedule.  Basically the bad beat meter and which teams got screwed out of the playoffs. Tie breakers by total points

9-4 HC, BG, TC, CB, 

8-5 SMBR, BCC, 

7-6 BNE, LZ

5-8 BL, IS, TS

4-9 ODS, EBD

2-11 $$$

This analysis shows that BCC in his final season has been screwed as he is one of the 7 best teams by either metric.  TS and ODS should be thanking their lucky stars to be alive in the last week of the season and if either of them makes the playoffs it won't be deserved and will be stealing Big Cat's valor. 

Weekly pick em.  HC went 6-1 (will be updated once yahoo does the math) next week can be done at this link.

Final week projections:  Yahoo projects Tinker Stinkers will miss the playoffs, SMBR gets the bye, and $$$ gets the Toilet.

The site that simulates the rest of the season 10,000 times projections these playoff percentages.

Bye SMBR 90.05%  BG 9.95%

Toilet $$$ 90.78%   BL 9.23%

Playoffs

Tinker Stinkers 70.05%

Los Zapitistas 66.62%

Hardcore Cabinet 63.21%

ODS 0.13%

Next Week's Schedule

Games that can affect who makes the playoffs

HC vs LZ (Biggest game of the season) 

TS vs BL

ODS vs IS

Bye and Toilet Games

BG vs RM

SMBR vs $$$

Seeding 

BNE vs TC

For Pride

BCC vs EBD

Good luck to everyone but Sergio!!!