This week saw a flurry of trades which honestly I have lost track of who has who. Mahomes has been moved from EBD to IS to BL. Kupp has been traded and injured. Tyreke Hill ended up on Bay-Bay's which means the clock is ticking for him to be injured within 10 hours like Kurt Russell in Escape from NY. (now streaming on paramount plus or wait for a Sunday morning on TNT at Dom's house.) I think somebody got Phillip Rivers because I keep seeing him on the transaction wire. Pretty sure The Collegians ended up with Reggie Langhorn. It's been a whirlwind.
Blue Gatorade turned 18 this week and destroyed his old man. Justin Fields is going to be a problem going forward. If Blue Gatorade can keep winning, nobody wants to see this team in the playoffs. He's put up 40 points in back to back weeks. Jefferson and Taylor did what they have been supposed to do all season and the rout was on. Hardcore Cabinet may be in some danger as they have now lost 4 starters for the fantasy season. Blue Gatorade has now beaten Hardcore Cabinet 4 years in a row. Hardcore has been the definition of replacement level this season. 5-5 record. 5 wins against teams with less points than him and 5 losses against 5 teams with more points than him over the course of the season. Luckily for Hardcore Cabinet, in the final 4 games Hardcore has more points than 3 of them.
Stabmyballzrepeatedly has established family dominance just in time for Thanksgiving. SMBR's hardest decision is which stud QB to play each week while several teams trot out the prayer bum of the week at the position. SMBR showed RM that despite unloaded Cooper Kupp at the exact right moment, that he is competing to avoid a toiletries and not a playoff contender. When you get 20 points out of Marcus Mariota and still only score 90 points overall that is a team wide problem. This is not the season that RM gets their first playoff win, nor in the next decade, most likely.
(Two ships passing in the night)
Los Zapatistas continue to slide down the standings. If you can start the second and third leading rushers on the 3 win Bears, ya got to do it. The Shoes hasn't broken the 84 point barrier in three weeks. The Big Nasty Express continues to try to dig themselves out of the hole that the computer had placed him into. CMC has been a welcome addition. His defensive dominance as of late has been key to the turn around. BNE D coordinator record is now 4-5-1. Was he spending too much time on the Mustangs' D on not his own D? There is only so much a man can think about D and BNE thinks about the D all day and dreams about the D all night. The D comes to him in his dreams, the D comes all over BNE during the wee hours of the night. It's been the key to his turnaround. Nick will always turnaround for the D.
Bricklayers continues to put up massive point totals without fielding a complete lineup and continues to have pristine health. In case you forgot Eric, when a player is injured there will be a little read letter next to their name, so don't be alarmed when you see it. The win mathematically clinched a playoff berth. I think Bay-Bay's has squeezed all the luck he could out of his first season in the league in terms of wins and has squeezed all the bad he could out of nagging injuries and bad trades. How tall is the stalk that you got from the magic beans you got for Ekler, Dan? Is it at least as tall as Jason? Or is it even taller, like the height of your son? Maybe Bay-Bay's will have enough wins to avoid the toilet because those point totals are really low. It would suck to have to pay to have the toilet trophy engraved and shipped to Connecticut.
Jeremy's brother has managed to score over 100 points in a win just twice this season and somehow has 5 wins. Two straight weeks he has managed to win without breaking 90. He keeps dodging bullets, most likely being shot straight over his head. It is also important that we spend this time eulogizing Ogre's Death Squad that while not mathematically eliminated from the postseason, it logistically eliminated with this loss. Josh Allen's elbow is weaker than Bricklayers after a vigorous back patting session. The wheels have fallen off ODS' season as he will fight with a rather large section of the league to avoid toiletries.
Eh Bid Dude continued to damage himself with trades this week as staying home with his 9 toes has caused EBD to go full Rear Window on his roster and his sanity. EBD has traded away CMC, Patrick Mahomes, Santa Claus, and Mary Tyler Moore. He did end up with Austin Ekler, Jamaar Chase with a broken hip, Cooper Kupp with a bum ankle, Col. Mustard in the Observatory with a wrench, Reginald Vel Johnson, a prescription for Lithium, and a conditional 14th round pick in 2031. Italian Stallions enjoyed the victory and repeatedly offering EBD to come over for a meal of whine and cheese. Is the victory too little too late for the Stallions? Can he win 3 of 4 out of LZ, ODS, SMBR, and $$$?
After picking up several shit wins this season, Collegians finally got to taste defeat on a good week as the fantasy gods try to even things out. Dollars used a well rounded attack to gain the victory. Despite their low point total, it's getting harder and harder to envision Dollars missing the playoffs not with standing the rotting corpse of Allen Robinson getting significant playing time. Will Dollars have the balls to call on DeShaun Watson out of the gate in the playoffs? We all know DeShaun doesn't take no for an answer. The Collegians are still alive for a repeat championship but will need a lot of wins to make that happen. His remaining schedule is pretty difficult with ODS, BL, HC, and BB the rest of the way. Dollars playoff picks are currently hitting 5/7 with Bricklayers clinching one correct pick.
SMBR 96%
$$ 88%
HC 88%
BG 61%
JB 51%
BNE 46%
IS 26%
LZ 17%
LZ 17%
BB 2%
ODS 1%
Skynet also believes the following teams are the favorites to win the Toilet Trophy.
RM 52% BB 27% ODS 16%
Congratulations to BG who went 6-1 to win the week. TC, ODS, and BB finished last with respectable 3-4 marks. HC cabinet has broken the tie with JB to take the overall season lead. Pick week 11 here.
The Game of the Week
#1 Bricklayers vs #2 Eh Bid Dude
HC vs BB
BNE vs SMBR
BG vs JB
$$ vs RM
#14 Ogre's Death Squad vs #7 The Collegians
#10 Italian Stallions vs #11 Los Zapatistas
Good luck to all this week.
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