Week 13 in the rearview mirror, it left half the league in the review mirror as well. Heading into the final week of the season. Only 8 teams remain alive for the 7 spots. 4 clinched, Dollars, EBD, SMBR and Bricklayers leaving HC, LZ, JB, and BG fighting for the last remaining 4 spots. Who is going to be left out after this round of musical chairs?
Dollars dusted of DeShaun Watson and left his TE position empty and Italian Stallions took advantage. Italian Stallions started the day with a faint breath of life but was unable to get the 400 other things that needed to happen to stay alive. Dollars can finish the regular season anywhere between 3rd through 6th depending on the results of next week. Dollars has been below 100 more than above it and his hopeful savior looked like a guy who hadn't played in front of fans in since the previous decade. Italian Stallions continues yet another disappointing season. He hasn't made the playoffs since 2017 hasn't won a game in the playoffs since 2011 which was also the last season that the Italian Stallions defeated Hardcore Cabinet. Maybe one year, Italian Stallions will get their shit
together.
The crack research team here at the blog determined that this game did in fact happen. Rush' N Missiles continued to slide to straight to the toilet trophy. He's lost 9 of his last ten games. The Big Nasty Express has turned an automated draft into a higher place in the standings than 4 other teams. RM has been in the league for good stretch now and looks to have more Toilet Bowl Trophies (1) than playoff wins (0). I think it might be time that RM retire and spend his time doing what is meant to be doing. Being the bottom assistant on several different teams.
(Smack talk from this game)Blue Gatorade kept their playoff hopes alive with a convincing victory over Stabmyballzrepeatedly. SMBR lost Lamar Jackson who has been key to this 3 year run. SMBR is heading to the playoffs as long as he sets a lineup next week. Which with Kevin you never really now do you? Nobody wants to see BG in the playoffs. He can only be the 7th seed which is a shitty present for the #2 seed if he does make it.
Bricklayers was able to push back the attack from Jeremy's Brother but as of yet as not pushed back the accurate accusation that his is smug. Jeremy's Brother introduced People's Exbibit #425 when BL complained that his slash's quarterback being injured was going to be problem for his injury free team. JB's team took another blow when Jimmy G was lost for the season. He now must turn to Russell Wilson in a near must win game for JB next week against LZ in which Blue Gatorade can take the spot of the loser with a victory.
The Shoes went crazy this week with the Browns defense scoring 3 touchdowns and his prince scoring 2 more to old back EBD despite a good week. EBD wanted to lose to hurt BG chances of making the playoffs even had EBD yelling
for it. LZ took home the high score this week and the huge point total greatly improved his chances of making the playoffs even with a loss next week as he and Jeremy's Brother each try to put each other's playoff chances
in the lake.
Bay Bay's no longer has to fear getting the toilet trophy shipped to Connecticut. He rest easy that he was terrible during his first year in the league but not the worst. He knows all the information but most likely suffers from
cognitive overload when it comes time to sign free agents and draft. ODS was not so lucky it avoiding the toilet. In a season that started as, "Hey I'm having the worst luck." has devolved into, "Hey, my team is shit." But the season could end on a high note as ODS would avoid the toilet and hurt HC playoff chances with a victory next week.
The Collegians kept the entire league up to date with his misery of ending his reign. Steve is now in the concussion protocol like Joe Mixon after banging his head against the wall after every HC TD. He was
hoist by his own petard. Their manager had convinced himself that it wasn't smoke and mirrors and that he was good. But Hardcore Cabinet answered that
question for him this week. The Jamaal Williams touchdown train continued chugging down the tracks to total 5 Hardcore TD's from the Lions. Hardcore Cabinet pulls out the win despite Alvin Kamara being a turd burger all season except for one game. Next week Hardcore Cabinet it in with a win or a Blue Gatorade loss or some really confusing situation if neither happen. The big news is that we continue the league's perfect streak of not having a repeat champion.
| | | | | | - UNLUCKY |
| | | | | | + LUCKY |
| | PWR | | | | |
| TIERS | RANK | W | L | +/- | |
| Undeafeated? | BL | 136 | 20 | 0 | |
Contenders. Can BG get in>? | EBD | 111 | 45 | 0 | |
| BG | 104 | 52 | -5 | |
| SMBR | 101 | 55 | 1 | |
Some unlucky mugs | HC | 91 | 65 | 0 | |
| LZ | 89 | 67 | -5 | |
| ODS | 86 | 70 | -7 | |
| BNE | 85 | 71 | -1 | |
$$/TS got the horseshoe | $$ | 81 | 75 | 5 | |
| IS | 80 | 76 | 0 | |
| TS | 80 | 76 | 4 | |
| See above | TC | 61 | 95 | 5 | |
DOO DOO | CB | 46 | 110 | 0 | |
| BB | 46 | 110 | 1 | |
| | | | | | |
| NOTES: | | | | | | |
| SMBR/$$ Set scoring lows for themselves | |
| LZ Set his season High | |
| | | | | | |
| | | | | | |
Top/Bot 4 in scoring | | | | |
| | | |
| BOT 4 | TOP 4 | | | | |
| $$ | 3 | 2 | | | | |
| BB | 8 | 0 | | | | |
| BG | 3 | 6 | | | | |
| BL | 0 | 9 | | | | |
| BNE | 4 | 4 | | | | |
| CB | 9 | 0 | | | | |
| EBD | 2 | 8 | | | | |
| HC | 3 | 4 | | | | |
| IS | 4 | 3 | | | | |
| LZ | 3 | 4 | | | | |
| ODS | 3 | 4 | | | | |
| SMBR | 3 | 7 | | | | |
| TC | 7 | 2 | | | | |
| TS | 4 | 3 | | | |
The Final Skynet Computer Playoff Probability
BL, EBD, $, SMBR are all in.
RM leads the toilet odds with 92% probability, ODS 8%
Playoff odds HC 99% LZ 86% JB 80% BG34%
Playoff scenarios
The four teams fighting for 3 spots all are in with a win. BG is eliminated with a loss putting HC, LZ, and JB regardless of outcome. If BG and HC win the loser of LZ/JB is out. If BG wins and HC loses the final playoff spot with be a point tiebreaker between HC and LZ/JB loser. HC currently leads LZ by 14 points and JB by 50 points.
So basically BG loses no drama. BG wins LOTS of drama.
Dollars ended up only getting 3 for sure playoff teams right. 3 for sure wrong (ODS, TC, IS) and Hardcore Cabinet will decide if Dr. Dollars playoff predictions were a winner or a loser this year.
Congratulations to Week 13 winners Italian Stallions and Blue Gatorade going 6-1. Much like everything else in the league Rush'n Missiles settled into last place with two games picked correctly. ODS is dead last overall however so it seems fitting that they are also at the bottom of the league standings. HC takes a 2 game lead over JB into the final week. It would have have 3 but JB finally quit stubbornly picking against HC and it benefited him. Week 14 picks should be entered
here.
Week 14 preview
Game of the Week
#1 Bricklayers vs #8 Blue Gatorade
BNE vs $$$
HC vs ODS
IS vs SMBR
LZ vs JB
TC vs BB
Toilet Bowl Game of the Week
#2 EBD vs #14 RM
RM must win to avoid toiletries. Even with a win, ODS must lose as well. You should probably start clearing shelf space. Anyone got the proper count of of how many times the Brothers in Law have won this thing. I mean it's for sure over a 1/3 of the league's history. Does being near Joe's log cock make you shitty at fantasy football? I assume Peach has never won a single game of fantasy football.
Enjoy the final week with everyone involved.
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