Hardcore Cabinet continued their dominance over the Italian Stallions defeating them for the tenth straight year. Italian Stallions lost with the second highest score of the week. 2011 was the Italian Stallions last time winning the championship or even placing in HTPB.
What was the world like in 2011 compared to today? Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 led the box office, the nation was jamming to top song Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO, Seal Team 6 killed Osama Bin Laden, Steve Jobs died from cancer, and gas prices in Ohio were actually higher than now with $3.82 per gallon. In 2011, the current members of HTPB had combined for 6 children. The league has now corrupted the planet with 20 additional kids and Sergio is on pace to have this number at 30 by next time IS beats HC. The game itself was a barn burner, as the fantasy gods teased him with the possible victory but the difference in the game was Bricklayers sending Cooper Kupp to Hardcore for a bag of magic beans.
Italian Stallions wasn't the only team cost a victory by that trade, as Bricklayers would have won had they not made the trade. Carson Wentz and Chubba Hubbard filled well for the injured Wilson and Barkley, as Eh Bid Dude pulled out a win with a bottom half score. Those victories are always crucial come nut crunching time to make the playoffs.
The third Monday night magic came saw, Ogre's Death Squad edge out Blue Gatorade in a game that wasn't determined until the clock hit 0:00. ODS pulls to 3-3 causing Big E to declare his team the worst 3-3 ever, which is a disgusting bald faced lie and a slap in the face of Los Zapatistas who currently is a much worse 3-3 team. Jalen Hurts' Blake Bortles impression wasn't enough to get BG the victory as new and maybe former Seahawks starting running back, Alex Collins gave ODS the win.
Big Cat Crushers continued to plummet down the standings. From first place after week 2 to 13th place a month later. Big Cat has fallen with Carson and CMC to IR, I don't know if he can get up. It might be time for Eric and Steve to look into a place to make Big Cat's final few weeks in HTPB comfortable so he isn't in pain towards the end. Tinker Stinkers picks up another lucky win which is what he is best at just edging out horse jokes and giving directions to Emerald City.
Darrel Williams gave the extra "L" on his first name to Rush'n Missiles, as Los Zapatistas handed a bad beat to RM. Burrow and the backs led Los Zapatistas to the victory as RM didn't get much out of anyone outside of Green Bay. (Listen here fellas, if you don't talk much in the chat, I don't get too much of narrative to write about, I need a kernel of something to foster into something funny.)
The Collegians didn't get much outside of Stafford and Mixon but they didn't need it to defeat as he caught SMBR repeatedly on a rare down week. Johnathan Taylor put in his second strong week in a row but Lamar was a no show and it showed. Both teams are perched near the top of the standings thanks to strong starts to the season.
Speaking of the top of the standings, BNE managed to have a shit week and moved into first place. But anything is possible when you play Dollars' shit team. He makes dreams come true. His top non QB is Kamara coming in at #53 in the league in scoring overall, for the third overall draft pick. The Department of Justice as opened a federal investigation into how Dollars has won two games. When brought before the league commissioner who had been accused of cowardice, Dollars would only say
Power Rankings
1. BG 53-25
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2. HC 48-30
3. SMBR 47-31
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4. BNE/TC 44-34
6. RM 42-36
7. IS 40-38
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8. ODS 38-40
9. EBD 37-41
10. TS/LZ 36-42
12. BL 33-45
13. BCC 30-48
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14. $$ 18-60
Analysis: Blue Gatorade is the unluckiest team, with IS right behind him on the unlucky train. Tinker Stinkers is luckiest team by far, being a whopping 6 places higher than he should be, double the next luckiest BNE. Dollars is so so so bad. Mathematically he should have 0.2 wins but has managed 2. It's not showing in his place in the standings, but he has been really lucky. No AOE in the top 7 in the actual standings or the Power Rankings. They only have 5 wins combined outside of beating each other.
League Pick'em
The Shoes went 5-2 to win the week. SMBR pulled up the rear going 2-5. Week 6 pick-em here. Remember when you pick you should assume that each team will trade their best player for a borderline starter. That's because Roy plays chess while we play checkers. https://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/14389/pickem
Week 7 Schedule (Rematches- first game winner in bold)
This week could be Separation Sunday as 5 of the 7 match-ups are between top 7's and bottom 7's.
Game of the Week
TINKER STINKERS vs Blue Gatorade (Luckiest vs Unluckiest)
HARDCORE CABINET vs Bricklayers (Kupp comes back for revenge)
EH BID DUDE vs Big Nasty Express
BIG CAT CRUSHERS vs Rush'n Missiles
ITALIAN STALLIONS vs Stabmyballzrepeatedly
Los Zapatistas vs THE COLLEGIANS
The Toilet Bowl Matchup of the Week presented by Cowardice
$$$(Those are capital $) vs Ogre's Death Squad.
Good luck through the bye week craziness and may you emerge on the other side ready for a playoff push.
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