HTPB 25.8

 

BNE continues the season of dreams, the game of the week was the game of the weak, and The Collegians grasp on the porcelain gets even tighter. 

Bricklayers 99 defeat The Collegians 87

The Collegians got double goose eggs from the slash position and may be close to slashing his wrists as the ride to the toilet feels almost inevitable.  Bricklayers were led by new addition Jonah Coleman's 17 which made up for the failed Jeremayiah Love experiment.  Usually when Bricklayers experiments with Love it looks like this.  Bricklayers second half schedule is sneaky tough.  Has he done enough already to hold on to a coveted playoff spot. 

Eh Big Dude 146 defeats Stabmybalzrepeatedly 131

I wanted Freddie Kruger but got Freddie Mercury and it's glorious.  

Joe Burrow threw for 6 touchdowns to the tune of 46 points and Tyler Allgeier went from 3 string to first string and exploded for 34.  SMBR continues to put up solid points but the struggles to replace Hurts after the blood clots has been a struggle.  Bucky Irving has been scored 35, 6, 24, 25 points in the past month to keep SMBR's hopes alive.

Tinker Stinkers 150 defeat Bay-Bay's 117.65

Lamar Jackson broke his thumb on the first play pulled the goose egg.  With Huntley also suffering a turf toe injury it was not a great day for Raven Phalanges.  It's a sad day in Baltimore and Canada.  The Stinkers has made about eleventy billion trades this season.  Has he built a contender?  He has now won 3 in a row and has gotten back to a 50% win percentage which matches his artery blockage level. A soft schedule remains for Tinker Stinkers.  Stinkers had the highest score of the week and the highest cholesterol.  

Los Zapatistas 114 defeat Rush'n Missiles 91

In a wolf on wolf matchup in which the loser would have very slim playoff hopes, The Shoes reestablished himself as the Alpha wolf over RM.  Has Los Zapatistas QB carousel finally ended on Kirk Cousins? He gave LZ 32 puntos.  LZ has not had the same QB two weeks in a row since Dart's season ended in week 2.  The Missiles have lost 5 in a row and are much closer to the toilet than the playoffs.  A week 13 matchup the Collegians could decide who takes the home the embarrassment.

Hardcore Cabinet 116 defeats Dollars 109

The Chicago Bears swarmed all over the Seahawks and gave Hardcore Cabinet his second straight Monday Night comeback win.  Dollars had 42 points after Thursday night.  The Jags scored 42 points but the two slashes from this game on the Jags combined for 6 points.  Despite the early schedule maker problems, Dollars has fallen back to the middle of the pack in points, which makes those tough loses earlier in the season even more devastating. On top of that his playoff predictions currently only have 3 in the top 7.  Both teams schedules ease up the rest of the way so they could sneak further up the standings.

Big Nasty Express 145 defeats Ogre's Death Squad 121

Ogre's Death Squad tried to protect their undefeated season with their first non shitty week in 3 tries but it was to no avail as BNE continued to roll.  ODS had three receivers combine for less than ten points.   Who would have thought that BNE would get worse when Breece Hall returns from injury and digs into new found stud Braelon Allen's bonanza.  The 8-0 starts all but guarantees that BNE will be making the playoffs but a schedule that includes the 2nd through 5th teams in the standings along with tough losing teams Dollars and SMBR.  We will see who BNE is the rest of the way. 

Italian Stallions 89 defeat Blue Gatorade 83

It live up the hype as both team had several underwhelming performances.  After an undefeated start, has the bottom fallen out on BG?  He has scored 140 points total in the past two weeks and has fallen from 1st place to 3rd in a fortnight.  Derrick Henry has been pedestrian of late and the Ravens passing game is DOA.  Christian Watson went full Stone Cole Steve Austin and came back from the hospital to get a few more points for the Loins and allow them to pick up the win despite having the third lowest score of the week. 

This week HC and LZ had 6-1 weeks to tie for the lead.  The Loins limped to a 2-5 finish for last.  Overall Dollars has the overall lead and SMBR brings up the caboose.  Where are you?  Check it out. 

While the Skynet playoff odds are way too early be accurate, I thought it would be fun to include it here.  This won't be a weekly feature til nut cutting time.  

1. Big Nasty Express 72-32 100%

2. Italian Stallions 68-36 97%

3. Eh Big Dude 66-38 99%

4. Bay-Bay's 66-38 54%

5. Dollars 64-40 61%

6. Blue Gatorade 58-46 97%

7. Tinker Stinkers 53-50-1 65%

8. Bricklayers 52-52 62%

9. Los Zapatistas 47-56-1 16%

10. Hardcore Cabinet 43-61 38%

11. Stabmybalzrepeatedly 42-62 4%

12. Ogre's Death Squad 38-66 2%

13. Rush'n Missiles 36-68 0.74%

14. The Collegians 22-82 0%

Game of the Week 

#1 Big Nasty Express vs #2 Eh Big Dude 

EBD 20-13

#12 ODS vs #4 IS 

ODS 15-10

#7 HC vs #11 SMBR

HC 10-5

#6 TS vs #5 BL

BL 8-2

#9 $$ vs #13 RM 

$$ 8-2

#8 BB vs #4 BG

Tied 2-2

Toilet Bowl Game of the Week

#10 Los Zapatistas vs #14 The Collegians 

LZ 12-10

Week 9 should finally start to separate the middle of the standings and get some clarity. 

HTPB 25.7

 

The Express is the last undefeated as we all assumed after 24 years of wandering the desert and having Afro-Man draft for him.  The regular season is half way done.  

Dollars 96 defeats Ogre's Death Squad 84

Dollars starts to get right with the luck gods after not breaking 100 for the first time this season but still pulling out the win.  Ogre's Death Squad appears to only be able to pull off a victory when Gibbs goes bonkers.  Dollars looks to feast the rest of the way with only two games against teams with a winning record.  For ODS things look bleak with 4 winning teams the rest of the way and an undefeated team still hoping to take down his only championship in two decades.

Bricklayers 93.65 Los Zapatistas 93.42

Los Zapatistas made a shit choice on his QB as he continues to try to find an everyday starter and it cost him in this the narrow battle.  Bricklayers got 40 points from the Goff, St Brown stack to sneak out the victory and claim back over mount .500.  Los Zapatistas has the harder schedule remaining of the two.  Will the shoes streak of cashes finally end? 

Tinker Stinkers 139 defeats The Collegians 88

You would think that a team as bad as the The Collegians have been would have been decimated by injuries.  Nope.  Just shitty. He just saw each guy about to have a bad year and said, "Yes that's for me." Round after round.  Tinker Stinkers as made several trades and it appears to have helped his team stop it's slide. As he has beaten both Wright Bros after a 4 game slide.  The Collegians continue to slide towards the toilet.  

Stabmyballzrepeatedly 109 defeats Blue Gatorade 63

Stabmyballzrepeatedly just sat back and soaked in the win and waited for Blue Gatorade to implode under the weight of their success.  SMBR started a backup Qb who managed to outscore BG's QB anyhow.  SMBR also started a running back in the slash who was inactive despite having several viable options to add to the beating that was unleashed on the former #1 ranked team.  Winston managed to outscore 6 players on BG.  

Big Nasty Express 133 defeats Bay-Bay's 132

I tried Claude which apparently can't generate images but can use paint to make them.  I love it.

Bay-Bay's tried to end the undefeated season of BNE.  They unfortunately came up about a Canadian Loonie short.  This was not the first Canadian train robbery by an American, but Bay-Bay's hopes it will be the last.  Bay-bay's was led by 36 points from Tony Pollard who catapulted the Canadian to a close loss.  Ollie Gordon continues to be worth the money even in Claude picture generator isn't.  Can BNE run the table? With only 2 poor lower teams on the schedule the rest of the way, the chances are about the same as an intoxicated Nick's eyes facing the same direction.  Unlikely.  

Eh Big Dude 139 defeats Italian Stallions 115

The Dude's trio of Cowboys came storming back on Monday night to blitz past the Loins in this game and the overall standings.  The Loins still managed a top half scoring week without Lawrence and Bijan not being a beast but it was not enough.  Both teams have average schedules the rest of the way as they nip at the heels of BNE should he falter for the bye.  

Hardcore Cabinet 108 defeats Rush'n Missiles 103

The Missiles attempt to repeat have been a total scud.  He drops another game to fall to 2-5.  Josh Jacobs finally played and Hardcore used those 17 points to gain the victory.  It was the second time all season that HC got double digits from a RB.  The kicking and defense that RM rode to the title only gave 21 points to RM instead of the 40 he's used to.  Geno was a great streamer selection for Allen on bye scoring 27.  HC's schedule lightens up as he has already played the top 5 teams.  RM's schedule is middle of the road.  

SMBR didn't make his picks so he takes a goose egg.  ODS made his picks and only scored 1 more point.  EBD, HC, and BL took home the win for the week with 4 correct picks.  Dollars leads overall and SMBR is the overall loser.  See it all here.

1. Italian Stallions 66-25

2. BNE 61-30

3. $$ 59-32

4. BG 58-33

5. BB 58-33

The Cream of the Crop

6. EBD 54-37

7. BL 48-43

Axis of Above Average

8. LZ 41-49-1

9. TS 40-50-1

Wolves of below average

10. HC 36-55

11. RM 33-58

12. SMBR 32-59

Not very good

13. ODS 29-63

14. TC 21-70

The spoiled seed of Big Cat bringing embarrassment to the family.

Game of the Week

#2 Blue Gatorade vs #4 Italian Stallions

BG 6-2

#11 ODS vs #1 BNE

ODS 18-12

#6 BB vs #8 TS

TS 3-1

#7 $$ vs #9 HC

HC 12-9

#5 BL vs #14 TC

TC 13-8

#3 EBD vs #10 SMBR

EBD 9-6

Toilet Bowl Game of the Wolf Week

#13 Rush'n Missiles vs Los Zapatistas 

LZ 6-5

The second half of the season begins today. 

HTPB 25.6

 

Everyone got hurt.  Big Nasty Express and Blue Gatorade continued to win.  Meat was smoked.

Big Nasty Express 102 defeats Hardcore Cabinet 56

The Express continues to chug along undeterred towards an undefeated season.  The squad got Caleb Williams back but wasn't set back his pedestrian 16 points. Through 6 weeks, Hardcore Cabinet has either been the highest or lowest score in 66% of the weeks. Hardcore Cabinet is a desolate wasteland left behind by God and any with enough good sense to leave.  Those left behind are doomed to an eternity of gang rapes and tales of the before time.  

Tinker Stinkers 120 defeats Ogre's Death Squad 67

Without Gibbs Ogre's Death Squad had as much chance of victory as he does in a closest aligned teeth contest.  Even with Cam Skattebo not being given a single touch, the Stinkers were able to steam roll the Ogre behind Drake Maye and the Steelers defense.  The Stinkers have been Tinkering with several trades and have hopes to turn their season around.  

Eh Big Dude 102 defeats The Collegians 97

The Collegians continue to plummet towards a toilet season, failing to break 100 even with 21 points from Tre Tucker.  Eh Big Dude continues to rise in the standings but things look to get much harder for the Big Fella as his schedule so far has not included a single team with currently with a winning record.  

Los Zapatistas 120 defeats Stabmybalzrepeatedly 76

Stabmyballzrepeatedly lost his QB to a blood cot and his backup to brain rot.  Los Zapatistas finally got a well rounded performance from his team and it lead him to the winner's circle.  Maybe he can rebuild on the season going forward. He gets three straight weeks of team's without a winning record to try and bounce back off his 4 game losing streak. SMBR has still yet to play IS, BG, and BNE so that combined with the quarterback situation could have already ended his season.

Dollars 128 defeats Italian Stallions 102 

Bijan Robinson was held in check and Italian Stallions could not overcome. Dollars hasn't scored below 100 points in a game and got his second win on the season.  Waiver wire pickup Germie Bernard brought in 21 points and Kenneth Walker continued to dominate.  Dollars looks to put himself back into the playoff picture.  Speaking of playoff spots, Dollars predictions currently have 5/7 correct.  

Bay-Bays 119 defeats Rush'n Missiles 73

Bay-Bay's picks up a big win as Huntley outscores Ward, he also won his fantasy matchup.  BB's continues his strong run to the upper half of the league, but the schedule gets a lot more difficult the rest of the way.  Was last year's playoff berth an aberration or is BayBay's here to stay.  The follow up season to the title has been a disaster for RM. He's 2-4 entering Josh Allen's bye week and with Judkins and Barkley injured the season may be in do or die mode.  

Blue Gatorade 124 defeats Bricklayers 79

The double tight end have Bricklayers 2 total points and with Love and Montgomery both out with injuries there was little hope.  Bricklayers haven't been this embarrassed by a kid in college since somebody impersonated Cie Grant in New Philadelphia.  Blue Gatorade continues to steam roll and pick up wins, while not even paying attention on Sundays as they sleep off the weekend.  The Browns shut down Derrick Henry but the rest of the squad led picked up all the slack and more.  At 6-0 and with tons of points, it would be an epic collapse for Blue Gatorade to make the playoffs ending his two year sucktastic stretch.  

Blue Gatorade's essay submission

The ghost of Hulk hogan comes out of one of the houses and yells racial slurs. Some spooky night. Quick, reach for the “flying elbow drop.” All of a sudden, the ghosts of hulk hogan and Randy savage are fighting at the center of the cul de sac like it’s 1989 at Trump Plaza in Atlantic City. All 14 members of HTPB are gathering around. Blue Gatorade, dressed as stone cold Steve Austin for the night, gets into character and just gets shitfaced ringside. Sergio is confused thinking the match is a bull fight and jumps into the ring with a red flag. In a flash, he is hit with an atomic leg drop. Los Zapatistas is rendered unconscious for the remainder of the night. At this point, it’s been a very even matchup between the ghosts. Just as the macho man starts to pull away, failbmfa, clutching his hulk hogan stuffed plush toy, jumps to action. No way! He’s on the top rope! What is he ever to do up there! He yells out to Randy savage, “Whatchu gonna do when hulkamania runs wild on you??!!” He takes to the sky off the top rope and misses Randy savage entirely blowing out both of his knees upon landing. Did you guys really expect anything different? While the crew deals with the injury, we cut to a commercial break. An advertisement for next week’s cul de sac clash appears as it’s the biggest night of the year! It’s Tinker Stinkers in…midget wrestling! He tries to defend his Arby’s gift certificate from hornswoggle in this epic bout. Now back to the action, some of the HTPB guys around the ring have noticed that one of the houses belongs to bloodfart Bart. He’s apparently trying to make his way to the action but he can’t figure out how to open his sliding glass door. Well, nobody’s gonna help him. He’s a grown ass man. Randy and Hulk in the ring is a blood bath. It’s gotta be over soon for all of our sanities. Hulk hogan hits Randy savage with an axe bomber that’ll surely seal the deal. He pins him, the ref shouts 1, 2, …and out of nowhere is hit from behind by none other than DIRTY DOM! He hasn’t made an appearance since before Blue Gatorade was even born! Dirty Dom now snaps to pinning Randy savage and he has won the hypothetical 1989 WWF championship belt between a racist ghost, a not so macho man, and cameos from middle aged men who at one point actually did this shit! It’s unbelievable! We all get to go home now.

Tinker Stinkers' Essay

Mason- wearing some sort of mask(he thinks he’s too cool for halloween; he’s definitely not Luke- Men in black agent(we are borrowing our one friends pug that looks just like the one in the first movie) Karter- not sure yet he might just wear his josh Allen jersey(he was smart and picked a different team to like instead of suffering being a browns fan) Mason is confused on that street and says this is a confusing as when dad decides to draft zero receivers every year and then trades his whole team season after season for very mediocre ones Karter is also, confused but feels like it’s a chance to get more Candy once we figure it out so he want to keep trying to get to those last three houses. Luke is the smartest person in the family I expect big things from him one day, so he says I don’t know why this is as confusing as dad staring at an Arby’s menu trying to figure out what to order. So he suggests how about we just turn around to the normal street and leave. So that’s what we do and get out of the time loop.

BG, BL, and $$ went 6-1 to get the win for the week.  SMBR comes in with the 1 spot to take the basement.  Dollars is our overall leader and The Loins and SMBR are at the bottom.  Check it out here.

#1 Blue Gatorade 58-20

#2 IS 57-21

#3 $$ 54-24

#4 BNE 50-28

The top four have been pretty consistent this year.  It's been these 4.

#5 BB 48-30

#6 BL 44-43

#7 EBD 41-37

Our fairly solid teams

#8 LZ 38-39-1

Sergio

#9 HC 29-49

#10 TS 28-49-1

#11 ODS 28-50

#12 RM 27-51

#13 SMBR 24-54

Not good teams

#14 The Collegians 19-55

Trash

Games of the Week

#5 Bay-Bay's vs #2 Big Nasty Express

BB 4-2

#4 Eh Big Dude vs #3 Italian Stallions

Series tied 15-15

#11 RM vs #12 HC

HC 6-4

#13 SMBR vs #1 BG

Series tied 4-4

#7 ODS vs #8 $$

$$ 13-9

#6 BL vs #9 LZ

BL 13-9

Toilet Bowl Game of the Week

#10 Tinker Stinkers vs #14 The Collegians 

TC 5-4

See you next week!

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 2/21/2004 & WWE Sunday Night Heat 2/22/2004

 

If you want to listen to an in depth look at the action on Raw, Smackdown and Pay per views, check out the Ruthless Podcast.  Which is available on the North South Connection.

It's Saturday night which means we are amping up the Velocity.

Velocity starts with a look at Eddie Guerrero celebrating backstage after winning the WWE title at No Way Out this past Sunday.  He calls his wife Vickie and thanks her for all of the support through the low times.  It was a touching call and worth seeking out.  

Match #1 

Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman vs Jaime Noble & Nunzio

Kidman tries a quick rollup on Nunzio and kicks him in the face.  He tags Rey who double team Nunzio with a giant swing and drop kick combo.  Nunzio catches Rey on a slide with an elbow drop and plants Rey with a head scissors reversal.  Jaime Noble is tagged in.  Mysterio gets a hurricanrana and tags out to Billy Kidman for a top rope cross body followed by a head scissors and a death valley driver to Noble.  Nunzio breaks the pinfall but gets chucked out of the ring.  Noble sends Kidman to the outside and hits him with a suicide dive.  Rey then top rope planchas onto them as we go to a commercial break.  

Back from the ads, Kidman hits a spinebuster.  Nunzio yanks Kidman onto the ropes arm first from the apron on a shooting star press attempt.  Nunzio is tagged in for arm work.  Nunzio nails arrivederci springboard single arm DDT.  Noble is for more arm work to try to get a submission.  Kidman flap jacks Noble into a drop kick and makes the hot tag.  Mysterio cleans house with a seated senton and Russian leg sweep.  He hits Noble with a springboard reverse DDT and a 619 to Nunzio.  Rey gets caught on another spring board attempt and Noble hits a tiger driver.  Kidman breaks the fall.  Kidman launches Rey into a Jaime Noble who is perched on the top rope for a hurricanrana in an amazing spot.  Rey gains the pinfall and the win for his team in 10:00 (***3/4)

Match #2

Rhyno vs Shannon Moore

Rhyno works over the arm at first but Shannon escapes and hits a heel kick for 2.  Moore grabs his own arm bar and Rhyno pulls his arm to get loose.  Rhyno creams Moore with a clothesline and follows up with shoulders in the corner.  Hard irish whip into the corner drops Moore and Rhyno locks in an interesting submission move seen above.  Moore slides free and hits a desperation heel kick.  The ref gives a standing 8 count.  Rhyno  misses a corner splash.  Moore attack with a flurry of strikes and flying forearm for 2.  Moore connects on a 2nd rope spinning neck breaker.  Rhyno catches a huge spinebuster and plants Moore wth a Gore in 5:47. (**1/2)

Match #3

Sakoda vs Paul London

They trade standing switches until Paul London connects on a drop kick for a two count.  Paul London hits the standing mushroom stomp in from the corner.  Sakoda throws London face first into the turnbuckle, followed by a knee that sends London to the floor.  Sakoda hits a vertical suplex to get London back into the ring for a 2 count.  Sakoda grabs a bear hug, Sakoda sends London hard into the corner.  London hits a dropsault out of nowhere for 2.  London hits an enziguri and slowly crawls to the top rope.  He misses a 450 splash.  Sakoda plants him with a spinebuster to get the win in 6:00. (*3/4)

Match #4

Rikishi & Scotty Too Hottie vs FBI (Johnny "the Bull" Stamboli & Chuck Palumbo) in a non title match

Chuck over powers Scotty to begin until the cruiserweight gets a head scissors. Hotty tries sticking and moving until Palumbo lays him out with a stiff punch to the jaw.  The Bull is tagged in for a headlock.  Stamboli knocks Rikishi off the apron.  Palumbo tags in to taunt and stomp Scotty followed by a back suplex. More strikes in the corner by large Italian.  Scotty almost escapes twice to get the tag to the 2004 Tribal Chief.  Scotty gets an enzguri and they both crawl to their corners for the tag.  Rikishi cleans house and lands a big DDT on Palumbo and then squishes him in the corner.  Stamboli saves Chuck from a stink face but falls victim to a Hotty bulldog and the Worm.  Palumbo and Rikishi each pass out super kicks.  Rikishi hits the corner splash on the The Bull to pick up the win in 6:16. (**1/2).

Although we don't get an establishment shot, our announcers are Johnathan Coachman and Al Snow.  

Match #1

Rico with Miss Jackie vs Test

Rico jumps into Test's arms and kisses him on the cheek Bugs Bunny style.  Test hits a big clothesline in the corner and lays the boots.  Test rolls to the outside and slams Rico's arm into the apron of the ring.  Test clotheslines Rico in the corner.  Test stumps on Miss Jackie's hand.  Rico dives out of the way from Test squishing him on the ropes.  Rico fights back with a flurry of jaw breaker, punches to gut, flying forearm, drop kick, rides Test like a pony, spin kick and his step over mule kick.  After all this Test just hits a half nelson slam for a 2 count.  Jackie hops up on the apron. Rico charges a distracted Test, but the former bodyguard moves.  Rico stops short from plowing into Jackie.  She flashes Test and Rico rolls up the stunned Test for the 3 count in 3:04. (*1/4)

Match #2

Rene Dupree with Rob Conway vs Val Venis with Lance Storm

Dupree begins by showing Venis his super bronzed body with some posing and flexing.  Val gives him an arm drag and an arm bar.   A USA chant starts despite all 4 men ringside are not Americans.  Coach and Snow even point this out.  Rob Conway trips Val from the outside and Dupree hits a shoulder block.  Storm does nothing about this.  Dupree follows up a snap mare with a float over snap mare.  Val gets choked it the ropes.  Dupree hits a knee drop and does the French Tickler dance.  Val gets a half nelson slam, a boot to the face, a pair of clothesline, and a shoulder block.  Val attempts mounted punches in the corner and sit out power bomb.  He climbs to the top for a Money shot. Conway heads over with the flag to clock Venis.  Storm intercepts.  The delay was enough for Dupree to get his knees up on the Money shot.  The young Frenchman follows up with a Death Valley Driver to get a win in 3:39.  (*)

Match #3

Hurricane vs Jon Heidenreich 

Heidenreich attacks before the bell and hits a side suplex.  Hurricane fires back with a European uppercut and other strikes. He low bridges the big man to the floor.  Hurricane does a plancha to the outside onto Heidenreich.  Back in the ring and Hurricane gets some mounted corner punches and thumbs Heidenreich in eye.  He misses a charge at the super hero,  Hurricane goes to the top rope but gets gorilla pressed onto the ropes right into a black hole slam and it's over in 2:44.  (*)

Match #4

Matt Hardy & Mark Jindrak & Garrison Cade vs The Dudleys

Matt Facts

#1 Matt has exceptionally long eyelashes.

#2 Matt's house has 4 bathrooms.

The match starts during a commercial break and when return Hardy is punching Devon in the corner.  Devon fires back which causes Hardy to bail and tag Jindrak.  Devon hits a flying clothesline and tags in Bubba.  Bubba grabs a headlock and tags in Spike for a double ax handle, head scissors, and runs on Jindrak's chest in the corner.  Devon is tagged back in and the heels run a distraction play to allow Cade to hit a big clothesline.  Cade gets caught in the faces corner and eats some strikes but the chaos allows Hardy to sneak in for a back suplex.  Jindrak is in for a snap mare.  Hardy in for mounted punches in the corner and hits a side effect.  Cade and Jindrak tag in and out spending some time dominating Devon.  Jindrak hits a sky high drop kick, but misses a follow up splash which allows Devon to make the hot tag. Bubba cleans house of the young tag team.  He gets a neck breaker to Cade for 2.  Bubba hits a Samoan drop. Spike gets a blind tag and hits a crossbody to Cade.  Hardy tries to break up the fall but Spike moves so Hardy drops the elbow on Cade.  The Dudley Boyz do the Wazzup crotch headbutt to Hardy.  They call for the 3D, but Hardy bails.  Spike goes for a Dudley Death Drop to Cade but Jindrak pushes Spike off the top.  Spike crashes and burns.  Jindrak covers for the win in 6:49. (**1/2)

HTPB 25.5

 

We have a new number 1 in Blue Gatorade. Spots 4-10 are all 3-2 or 2-3.  Long way to go. 

Blue Gatorade 170.13 defeats Hardcore Cabinet 72.43

All of the major quality AI image generators wouldn't create an image of pillow smothering of an old man with inured toes by a bald college student so we had to settle for the garbage one.  I stand my the idea and will not compromise the values of this flog. 

Blue Gatorade stayed unbeaten and doubled up Hardcore Cabinet.  The Cabinet had 5 players score under 4 points.  Every player for Gatorade had a big week who didn't get knocked unconscious by a cheap shot. Same guy who basically ended Nick Chubb's career.  Things don't get an easier for Hardcore as they face the other undefeated team next week.  Hardcore has petitioned the league to get Dwayne in the league because he can only beat people from that family. Can BG run the table? He seems to have spent all of his time this season on fantasy football and breaking things since he moved back home.  The list of items Max has broken since he moved into my basement include, the washing machine, a broom, and my will live.  

Big Nasty Express 130.28 defeats Los Zapatistas 96.98

The Express continues towards an attempt at an undefeated season. BNE got lots of junk time points from fill in QB Brissett while Ollie Gordon for now has been worth Ollie that FAAB cash.  The shoes continue to go down with the Colston Loveland ship. The injuries continue to mount for Los Zapatistas as the fantasy gods have come to claim their pound of flesh for cashing for 4 straight years.  That's right LZ has one less cash in the last 4 years than BNE has in franchise history. Considering the low stakes on the first two years when Nick cashed, and Big Cat's retirement.  BNE is most likely the franchise the deepest into the red in league history. 

Stabmybalzrepeatedly 115.73 defeats The Collegians 90.15

The Collegians returned to under 100 points and took his 4th loss of the season, in the toilet bowl game of the week.  Bucky Irving went crazy for 35 points on Thursday SMBR got a win with Austin Ekeler in his starting lineup in the year of our lord 2026.  The victory vaults SMBR several spots away from the toilet as the Collegians iron grip tightens.

Eh Big Dude 126.38 defeats Dollars 111.41

The Dude got big performances from his receiving corps with 46 points from Pickens and Nabers.  New Edition Ashton Jeanty was the only special teamer to struggle based on expectations. Jaylen Waddle continues to hang over Dollars like too many expresso martinis.  However despite the commissioner saying that Dollars were ruined by the schedule maker is not accurate as they were in the bottom half of point scorers despite the 111 points.  Stay in your lane, Commish.  

Ogre's Death Squad 137.24 defeats Rush' N Missiles 127

In a battle of two teams being mostly lifted by one player, Josh Allen's 32 spot was not enough to withstand the 38 from Gibbs.  RM managed to lose despite 48 points from his kicker and D.  What a kick in the D.  In the two weeks since trading Judkins for Metcalf, Judkins has gotten injured and Metcalf has scored 4 points for ODS.    The reigning champ falls below .500 and out of the current playoff mix.  

Italian Stallions 142.63 defeats Tinker Stinkers 106.97

Tinker Stinkers used 45 points from Drake Maye to vault his team to 106 points (42%) of the total.  The Loins keep on rolling and eating the rich and pasta. They have only played one team currently in the playoff picture so far.  Can the Stallions hold up against a tougher schedule the rest of the way?  Tinker Stinkers gets to go up against a much easier sledding the rest of the way as he has already played the top 3 teams in the standings.

Bricklayers 133.80 defeats Bay-Bay's 128.20

Puca tried to bring BayBay's a happy Canadian Thanksgiving with 31 points on Monday night.  Bricklayers used the very rare 54 points from Warren and Freirmuth from the Steelers and their disgusting inbred fans.  Why did the Cardinals draft a running back in the top of the draft when they are so terrible otherwise?  Bricklayers could go on a run here because after a big clash with BG, it's three straight bottom feeders.  While Bay-Bay's has played 1 team with a winning record and turned it into a 2-3 mark.  

Congratulations to Dollars on the 7-0 week in pick em, which is tough to do in a week in which you lose but when you stare at the draft board for that long, you have to know the league.  LZ and RM took up the rear at 2-5.  Always voting for the Wolves when they are a combined 4-11 is a recipe for disaster.  Dollars is the overall leader at 21 wins while EBD and LZ are currently at the bottom at 14.  See your spot here.

1 Italian Stallions 50-15

2 BG 46-19

3 BNE 44-21

4 $$ 41-24

5 BL 40-25

6. BB 39-26

7 EBD 33-32

8 HC 29-36

9 LZ 28-37

10 ODS 27-38

11 RM 25-40

12 SMBR 21-44

13 TS 18-47

14 TC 14-51

Dollars should sue the schedule maker, who is actually the one who is stealing his playoff spot.  

Game of the Week

#1 Blue Gatorade vs #4 Bricklayers 

BL leads 5-4

#8 HC vs #2 BNE

BNE leads 15-13

#7 BB vs #9 RM 

2-2

#11 Dollars vs #3 IS

Dollars leads 12-8

#5 EBD vs #14 TC

TC leads 11-10

#6 ODS vs #9 Tinker Stinkers

TS leads 5-4

Toilet Bowl of the Week

#12 Los Zapatistas vs #10 Stabmyballzrepeatedly

LZ leads 7-3

Hope everyone has a great week.