Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 1/31/2004 & WWE Sunday Night Heat 2/1/2004

Check out the audio companion podcast for this week's Raw and Smackdown on the North South Connection Network!

 

We start our weekend with the slamming Saturday Night on Velocity. 

Cole is filling in for Bill Demott.  He spends the entire show crapping on Josh and the matches and their competitors which on this evening all happen to be cruiserweights.

Match #1

Ultimo Dragon vs Shannon Moore

Dragon controls the arm and gets a snap mare.  Shannon escapes and grabs a headlock, followed by a shoulder block, and slaps Ultimo Dragon out of the air.  Dragon comes firing back with a leg sweep, running kick to Moore's back and then the chest.  He tosses Moore to the outside, but Moore pulls his legs out from Dragon on the Asai moonsault attempt.  Moore grabs a silly looking submission attempt that does not look painful, see above. Dragon breaks free and misses a leg lariat. Shannon hits a flurry of elbow strikes to Dragon's neck.  He follows it up with a snap suplex and a chin lock.  Dragon fights out but gets caught with an enziguri.  Dragon eventually gets a hurricanrana and both men are down.  A strike exchange is won by Ultimo.  The Japanese star hits a springboard moonsault right into Moore's skull with his knee.  Moore recovers and hits a neck breaker, drop kick, and a float over top rope neck breaker for 2.  Mathews tells us that move is called the Mooregasm.  If I have to know that so do you.  Dragon gets a kick to the gut and attempts the Asai DDT, Moore counters with a sleeper.  Dragons escapes via a jaw breaker and into an Asai DDT to pick up the win in 6:16.  (***)

Match #2

Akio vs Funaki

They trade go behinds and Funaki gets a head lock takeover, hip toss and a drop kick.  This entire time Cole is loudly mooing because Josh mentioned that No Way Out is at the Cow Palace.  Akio finally gets on the offensive with a jumping leg lariat and a surfboard.  Funaki counters it into a backslide for a pin attempt.  Akio grabs a front face lock.  Funaki after escaping gets a enziguri, followed by a back body drop and a bulldog.  Akio misses an up and over, but hits a leg lariat. Funaki catches Akio on the top for the Rising Sun DDT for the upset win in 5:01.  (*3/4)

Match #3

Scotty 2 Hotty vs Sakoda

Sakoda grabs an armbar.  Scotty escapes and gets a shoulder tackle. Sakoda tries to throw him over the top, but Scotty skins the car and does the crane poise all Karate Kid. A pair of arm drags and head scissors by Scotty.  Sakoda nails a drop kick to the knee and begins to go to work on the joint.  Multiple submission holds used by Sakoda.  Scotty uses his good leg to push Sakoda into the ring post.  Scotty hits a back body drop before Sakoda hits a second drop kick into the knee.  Mr. Hotty comes back with a superkick and then jumps on his bad leg to perform the W-O-R-M.  Cole even mentions, "Well so much for the knee injury."  Sakoda gets his arm under the ropes to break the pin.  Scotty argues with the ref for a very long time.  When he goes back to Sakoda, he gets raked in the eyes and rolled up with feet on the ropes but just barely as Sakoda only gently places his feet there for half a second in 5:38.  (3/4*)

Things when downhill fast on this episode.  Let's see how Sunday Night Heat treats us.

Match #1

Christian vs Lance Storm

They trade armbars and follow up with the opening match sequence taught to every contestant on Tough Enough.  Storm hits an impressive hesitation vertical suplex.  Christian shoves Lance off the turnbuckle to the floor in a hard bump.  Christian tosses Storm midsection on the ropes and quickly hits a back breaker.  Storm tries to fight back but Christian gets a bear hug.  Storm head butts free and catches a dropkick to put both men down.  Storm lands a flurry of strikes, a back body drop, and a running leg lariat for 2.  Storm goes back on the attack with a northern lights suplex, but Christian comes right back with a reverse DDT.  Storm turns an unprettier attempt into a single leg crab.  Christian fights to the ropes, rakes storms eyes on the break, and hits the unprettier to pick up the victory in 6:11. (***).

Match #2 

Hurricane & Rosey vs Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak

     

Cade and Hurricane start the match, and Hurricane gets a quick hip toss.  A blind tag to Rosey for a double team hip toss and a diving headbutt.  Cade is able to escape and get a tag to Jindrak for his picture perfect drop kick.  He attempts to irish whip Rosey by the Somoan is too big to move.  Rosey tags out and Hurricane hits a second rope leg drop.  Behind the ref's back, Cade grabs Hurricane's leg to trip him and ram his knee into the ring post.  Jindrak works over the knee and tags out to Cade so he can work over the knee as well.  Hurricane manages to get a drop toe hold and a running uppercut.  Hot tag to Rosey to clean house with a back body drop, scoop slam, and a standing splash.  Jindrak breaks the count, Hurricane clears out Jindrak.  Rosey has Cade up in a fall away slam position, but while the ref is getting the Hurricane out of the ring, Jindrak chop blocks Rosey.  It's enough to get the win since Jindrak knocks Rosey's foot off the rope in 5:01.  (**)

Match #3

Matt Hardy vs Booker T

Matt Fact #1: Matt still has his appendix.

Matt Fact #2: Matt is a fan of miso soup.  

Commentary mentions that Hardy spent the longest of any Raw superstar in the Rumble when he was in fact third.  Matt Hardy mocks Booker's hand looking and head shaking.  Matt gets to the ropes to break an armbar.  Booker shoulder block sends Matt to the outside and allows us to take an early commercial break.  Back from the break the boys are exchanging strikes.  Booker runs into a stun gun and Matt nails a swinging neck breaker and grabs a headlock.  Booker escapes and misses a kick and Matt kicks the ropes into Booker T's little T.  Booker gets back into the only for Matt to stand on his throat. Hardy gets another neck breaker.  Matt lands a second rope leg drop for a 2 count and locks in a full nelson.  Booker rams Hardy into the corner to break free.  They exchange strikes.  Booker T nails a flying forearm, spin kick, and heel kick for a 2 count.  He goes back on the attack with a back body drop, heel kick spinarooni but misses the axe kick.  Hardy gets a side effect for a near fall.  Matt sets up for the twist of fate but Booker shoves him into the ropes for a spine buster.  Hardy crawls to the apron and when Booker heads over to follow up, Hardy guillotines him.  Hardy heads to the top rope but gets intercepted in mid air with a jumping kick to the face for Booker to pick up the win in 9:36.  (***)

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 1/24/2004 & WWE Sunday Night Heat 1/25/2004 Royal Rumble Weekend Edition

 

Check out my companion podcast looking at the weekly Raw/Smackdown and PPV's on the North South Connection.

We are less than 24 hours away from the Royal Rumble, let's check out Spike TV on a Saturday Night

(This screenshot is from the previous week as they did not give Demott and Mathews their establishment shot this week.)

Match #1

The Basham Brothers defend the WWE Tag Team Titles with Shaniqua vs Ultimo Dragon & Funaki

Ultimo Dragon and Danny Basham start.  Danny lands a few strikes, but Dragon comes back with a hurricanrana and stiff kicks to the spine and chest.  Dragon tags in Funaki for a double team elbow.  Funaki lands some kicks til Shaniqua pulls him him off the apron.  Danny tags out as the Bashams combine for a double team stun gun. Doug starts the stomping on Funaki and grabs a neck vise.  He tags Danny back in for more strikes and an arm stretch.  Funaki gets a desperation enziguri. Doug is tagged back in, but Funaki is able to escape for the hot tag.  Dragon nails a flurry of kick to both Bashams.  He rolls up Doug for a two count, followed by a springboard moonsault.  Ultimo sets up for his Asai DDT, but Doug escapes.  The Bashams pull the twin magic switcheroo to get the rollup pin victory in 5:27 (*1/2)

Match #2 

Orlando Jordan vs Matt Longtime

Jordan gets takeover into an armbar, but he transitions into an school boy for a 2 count and right back to the armbar.  Longtime escapes the arm bar for a shoulder block and grabs a headlock take over.  Jordan escapes and hits three arm drags and goes back to the arm drag.  Longtime rams into a turnbuckle and grabs a......you guessed it, an arm bar.  Jordan punches free and nails a scoop slam, flying forearm, two drop kicks, back body drop, Johnson shuffle, and finishes him off with a running powerslam in 5:20, 4:30 of which were arm bars.  This match was Chris Jericho's list of moves come to life. (3/4*)

Match #3

World's Greatest Tag Team Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas vs Rikishi & Scotty 2 Hotty

Rikishi and Haas trade shots in the corner.  Benjamin pulls Haas to safety before he eats a big kick from Rikishi.  We head to commercial as the World's Greatest Tag Team regroups.  Back from break, Benjamin hits Scotty with a snap suplex and after watching the previous match, grabs an armbar for good measure.  Scotty reverses it and they trade athletic reversals unlike the previous match.  Eventually ending with a Scotty flying forearm.  Benjamin dodges a bulldog attempt and Benjamin gets a blind tag, that allows Haas to get the jump on Scotty and work on the arm.  Benjamin gives Haas a little extra stretch on his arm bar behind the ref's back.  Tag back to Shelton for a shoulder breaker for 2.  More focus on Mr. Hotty's arm.  They tag in and out and work the limb over.  Benjamin spits in Rikishi's face and hits Hotty with a tilt-a-whirl slam.  Haas back in but Scotty fights free from his arm bar and is able to tag in Rikishi.  Rikishi lays both opponents out with heavy strikes and a double clothesline.  He lays out Haas with a charging headbutt and a Savat kick.  He tags in Scotty for the W-O-R-M.  Benjamin breaks up the fall.  Rikishi comes in to clear out Bejanmin.  Scotty is landing mounted punches on Haas in the corner, but Haas walks out for a reverse atomic drop.  While Haas still has Scotty held, Benjamin nails him with a super kick.  Haas uses a jackknife cover to get the victory in 7:37. (**3/4)

We're on to Sunday Night Heat live an hour before the Royal Rumble in Philadelphia with Coach and Snow handling hosting duties.

Smackdown's #1 announcer Funaki is here, pulling the C show double header this weekend.  He's reporting outside the room where superstars are pulling their entry numbers for tonight's Royal Rumble.  Mark Henry and his manager Teddy Long come out and they are not happy.  Teddy says, What happened back their was straight haterization, every cracker int eh room drank hater-ade, blatant discimination, you ought to be feeling me being an oriental man.  We will no longer be bamboozled by the man, because tonight Mark Henry will win the Royal Rumble.  Mark Henry screams to a startled Funaki, "Believe That!"

Funaki now checks in on Kurt Angle, asking for an update on his eye injury for Smackdown.  He says he got poked in the eye and couldn't see for a bit.  He won a gold medal with a broken freaking neck, so don't worry about it.  Nothing is going to stop him from winning the Rumble and then winning the WWE title in the main event of WrestleMania.  He isn't just doing it for himself, he's dedicating his win to the brave men and women of the military fighting over seas.  

Tazz and Cole are in the ring and Tazz graces us with his tips to winning the Rumble.

Tazz also picks up Cole and threatens to toss Cole over the top while Cole whines to be put down.

King and JR take over

Match #1

Molly Holly vs Victoria with Steven Richards in a non title match. 

 

Test had kicked Victoria's head off a few weeks ago, cancelling her title match on that episode of Raw.  Why she doesn't get it here, I don't know.  They grapple for control, eventually Victoria gets a side headlock take over.  Molly bridges out of a pin and gets a backslide for 2.  Victoria comes back with a drop kick before Molly can get back to her feet.  Molly sends Victoria head first into the middle turnbuckle.  She follows up with a snap mare and drop kick to the face. Molly digs her fingers into Victoria's face and mouth.  Molly nails a hand spring back elbow.  Victoria is able to escape a head lock with a jaw breaker.  Victoria ties a 2 different pinning combinations to no avail.  Victoria gets fired up a hits a series of clotheslines and a scoop slam.  She lands a standing moonsault for 2.  Molly gets a knee to the stomach and plants Victoria face first into the mat.  Molly heads to the top only to be intercepted by Victoria.  Molly is able to push Victoria off the top before she can super plex her down.  Victoria sweeps Molly's legs which crotches her on the top turnbuckle.  Victoria removes her from the top and plants her with the Widow's Peak for the win over the champion in 4:58.  (**1/4)

Who will win the Rumble and head to Madison Square Garden for WrestleMania 20!?!?

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 1/17/2004 & WWE Sunday Night Heat 1/18/2004

 

We are week away from the Royal Rumble and we get a pair of qualifying matches, a match that is part of a several week build, and a rematch from Smackdown in a grudge match. So you could say it's a pretty big week here in C show land.  If you want to find out what happened on Raw and Smackdown this week check out my comedic podcast Ruthless on the North South Connection.  

First it's Velocity on Saturday Night

Match #1

Ultimo Dragon vs Shannon Moore

During Dragon's entrance Josh Mathews goes full Beavis and shouts, "Fire, Fire" Dragon starts out with a snap mare, but Moore fires back with a pair of hip tosses.  Dragon hits a back leg sweep and two hard kicks to the chest for 2.  Dragon's head scissors is countered and Moore gets a back suplex for a 2 count.  Dragon fights out of an arm bar and gets a springboard crossbody but Moore lays him out.  He follows with a snap suplex and grabs a chin lock.  Dragon gets free and hits a springboard moonsault.  He adds a flurry of kicks and a hurricanrana.  They both trade some pinning combos.  Moore gets his boots up on 2 consecutive charge attempts follows up with a top tope float over bulldog.  Moore hits a scoop slam but the his top rope dive gets met with a drop kick mid air.  An Asai DDT finishes off Moore in 5:54 (**1/4)

Match #2

Orlando Jordan vs Matt Morgan

Royal Rumble Qualifying Match

Jordan grabs a waist lock but Morgan gets to the ropes to break it.  Morgan starts nailing shoulders in the corner.  Misses a few power moves and Jordan hits a springboard high crossbody, and follows with a drop kick.  Morgan swats aside a missile drop kick.  Morgan mows Jordon down with a short arm clothesline.  He stands on OJ's neck and chokes him with his boot in the corner.  Jordan strikes back but runs into a sidewalk slam.  Morgan grabs a single leg crab.  Jordan makes it to the ropes, but Morgan immediately transitions into a heel hook.  Jordan boots Morgan in the face to break free.  Morgan misses an elbow drop, allowing Jordan to hit a flying forearm.  Jordan repeatedly kicks Morgan in the thighs and hits a spinning neck breaker.  Jordan runs into the a big boot.  Morgan nails his sit down powerbomb to get the win in 5:20 to clinch his entry into the Royal Rumble.  (*1/4)

Match #3

Billy Kidman vs Arch Kincaid

Kincaid immediately grabs the ropes to get some heel heat.  Kidman flips him over with a head scissors but misses a corner splash.  Kincaid gets a back suplex for a 2.5 count, which is yelled to the crowd as a brag to the crowd by Kincaid.  He sends Kidman into the turnbuckle with a hard Irish whip.  Kincaid snap mares him and grabs a back and arm stretch.  Kincaid then hits a back breaker.  Kincaid begins to work over the back of Kidman and then hits a second back breaker. He plants Kidman with a scoop slam and grabs a chin lock.  Kidman gets free for a desperation turnbuckle run up bulldog.  He sends Kincaid chest first into the corner for a clothesline and a back body drop.  Kidman runs into a powerslam.  Kincaid this time boasts that he got a "2 9/10!" count.  He eats a drop kick and Kidman finishes him off with the shooting star press in 5:45.  (**1/2)

Match #4 

Bradshaw vs A-Train

We are the shown the fallout from Train's victory a few weeks ago on Smackdown.  Train starts with a shoulder block and they exchange shots in the corner.  They move to the center of the ring to exchange more stiff strikes. Bradshaw hits a Russian leg sweep and a swinging neck breaker.  A-Train misses a corner splash, but is able to get his forearms up to block to block the Clothesline from Hell.  He punts Bradshaw in the stomach and gets a few short arm shoulder blocks.  He throws the Texan shoulder first into the ring post which causes Bradshaw to fall to the outside.  A-Train follows and slams his shoulder into the post one more time, and rolls him back inside for a 2 count.  He slingshots Bradshaw into the bottom rope for a guillotine. Bill Demott says that Train has been working with Arn Anderson and Fit Finlay every single day. Train gets an armbar, but Bradshaw is able roll his legs over to the ropes.  Train puts Bradshaw down again with a back breaker.  Bradshaw gets his boot up on a Vader bomb attempt and plants Train with a DDT.  After some strikes, Bradshaw gets a shoulder block and big boot.  Bradshaw goes to the top rope and hits a shoulder block for 2.  Train misses a charge and hits a clothesline from hell for the win in 5:35.  (**3/4).

On to Sunday Night Heat!

Match #1

Hurricane and Rosey vs Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade

Hurricane and Jindrak start the match as Snow does his usual reversal of their names schtick.  (Cindrak and Jade)   Hurricane gets a go behind and rolls Jindrak up.  He follows it up with a head lock, an arm drag, and an arm bar.  He tags in Rosey for a double hip toss.  Rosey hip tosses Hurricane on top of Jindrak.  He is able to immediately tag to Cade however.  Rosey grabs a headlock.  Cade's head butt attempt fails since Rosey is the tribal chief and has a hard head.  Rosey gets a scoop slam but misses the elbow drop.  Rosey forces Cade into the corner but Jindrak pulls Cade free so Rosey's shoulder dive only meets ring post.  Cade holds Rosey's arm out so Jindrak can give it a shot off the top rope.  Jindrak grabs an arm hold and drops Rosey with a single arm DDT.  He tags in Cade, who allows Rosey to escape and get the hot tag to Hurricane.  He hits a few drop kicks and reverses a slam into a cross body.  He hits a top rope float over bulldog on Jindrak but Cade breaks up the fall.  Rosey clears out Cade but while the ref is trying to get Rosey back to his corner, Cade clobbers Hurricane with a forearm to the head.  Jindrak covers for the three count in 5:07.  (**)

Match #2

Rico with Miss Jackie vs Tommy Dreamer

Royal Rumble Qualifying match

Rico gets a leg sweep and then rides Dreamer like a pony.  Dreamer slaps Rico in the face and scoop slams him.  Dreamer clotheslines Rico to the floor and once he gets back on the apron, Dreamer uses the ropes to flip Rico back to the mat.  Dreamer grabs his Singapore cane but Miss Jackie gets a hold of it.  Dreamer drags the cane along with Jackie into the ring.   Rico is able to sneak in behind and hit a back stabber followed by a scoop slam and pins Dreamer in a sexually suggestive cover.  Jackie steals Dreamer's cane and adds insult to injury and chokes him on the middle rope.  Dreamer is able to reverse an Irish whip into a sit down powerbomb.  Dreamer follows up with a sidewalk slam.  Dreamer nails a top rope clothesline but Jackie puts Rico's foot on the rope during the cover attempt.  Dreamer pulls Jackie up to the apron, Rico charges but Tommy moves.  Rico is able to stop short from trucking Miss Jackie but falls victim to a rollup for 2.  Dreamer goes for a DDT but Rico pushes him into the ropes which allows Jackie to hit him in the back with the cane.  Rico levels Dreamer with a spin kick and picks up the victory in 4:19.  Rico is now qualified for the Royal Rumble.  (*3/4)

Match #3

Spike Dudley vs Rob Conway with Rene Dupree

Spike gets a headlock take over to begin.  Conway attempts a leap frog but Spike counters into an inverted atomic drop.  Spike tries for the Dudley dog but Conway shifts enough to prevent it but Spike is able to maintain his head lock.  Conway charges but is sent up and over to the outside Dudley.  Once back inside Conway is on his knees begging but Spike drop kicks him in the face. Spike runs on Conway's chest in the corner.  A second Dudley dog is attempted but Conway shoves him into the turnbuckle.  Dupree is able to get in a cheap shot.  Conway connects with a series of elbows and grabs an arm lock.  Spike fights out for a flying head scissors.  Conway bails to regroup with Dupree outside.  Spike goes to the top and hits both of them with a crossbody to the floor.  Back in the ring, Conway stops Spike on the top.  He attempts a superplex but Spike bites his forehead and shoves him to the mat.  Spike hits a two footed stomp to chest from the top.  A third Dudley dog attempt is abandoned by Spike to go knock Dupree off the apron.  Conway misses his sneak attack and Spike rolls him up for two.  The kick out sends Spike into the ropes for Dupree to forearm Spike in the face.  Conways plants Spike with a rope aided spinning neck breaker to gain the victory in 4:19.  (**3/4)

Match #4

Steven Richards vs Scott Steiner

Richards is wearing a an armbar that says "Flower" in recognition of Victoria who was taken out by Steiner's partner Test.  Scott Steiner hits a fireman's carry and amateur wrestles Richards on the mat to assert his dominance.  Steiner throws Richards with a belly to belly suplex and then punishes leader of Sunday Night heat with cross face forearms.  Steiner stands and flexes before punting Richards in the gut.  He stands Stevie up for some chops to the chest followed by some push ups.  Richards escapes a powerslam and hits a stun gun.  He rolls Steiner up for 2.  Steiner gets up and turns Richards' lights out with a Steiner Flatliner to win in 2:04.  Test appears out of nowhere to celebrate with Steiner.  He says some choice words to Stevie's carcass.  Once Richards gets to his feet Test, decaptiates him with a big boot just like he did to Victoria.  Richards has defeated Test three weeks in a row on Heat and Test wants his revenge.  (*1/4)

Steiner rolls into Raw tomorrow for his match against Goldberg. 

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 1/10/2004 & WWE Sunday Night Heat 1/11/2004

                                                 

Check out the Ruthless Podcast discussing this week's Raw and Smackdown on the North South Connection Network.

It's Saturday Night which means it's time for some WWE Velocity!

                                       Match #1                                       

Billy Kidman vs Sakoda

Kidman monkey flips Sakoda.  Kidman hits a springboard headscissors but Sakoda quickly hangs Kidman's arm over top rope.  Sakoda ties Kidman's arm in the rope and wrenches on it a few more times.  He locks in a weak looking arm bar.  Kidman freaks free from the hold and attempts a BK bomb but his arm gives out.  Sakoda throws Kidman's arm into the turnbuckle and works on the arm even more. Kidman gets a sky high drop kick, followed by a flying forearm, and a turnbuckle vaulted bulldog.  Sakoda nails a single arm DDT to regain control.  Sakoda follows up with a rolling top rope flip into an arm bar.  Kidman gets to the ropes.  With Kidman down, Sakoda grabs Kidman's leg.  Kidman one leg kips up to his feet and hits an enziguri.  Kidman heads up top for the shooting star press to finish off Tajiri's henchman in 5:52.  (***)

Match #2

Shannon Moore vs Matt Morgan

Moore kick the larger man in the stomach and bails.  They cat and mouse around the ring.  The cat eventually wins and tosses the mouse into the barricade from the apron.  Morgan brings Moore back into the ring for hard irish whips into the turnbuckles and stands on Moore's throat.  Morgan hits a pair of back breakers separated by some strikes.  He knees Moore in the face and locks in a bear hug.  Morgan misses a clothesline, Moore lands a few strikes but a crossbody attempt is caught, and Morgan drops him on the top rope.  Morgan misses a charge allowing Moore to try a tights aided rollup for two.  Moore hits a corkscrew top rope dive, but Morgan hits a big boot to the flurry.  Sit down power bomb keeps Moore down in 4:30.  (*3/4)

Match #3

Rhyno vs Funaki

Funaki starts hot with punches, a high crossbody, and a pair of arm drags.  Rhyno bails to regroup.  Back in the ring, Funaki gets a head scissors but misses the follow up drop kick.  Rhyno crushes Funaki's midsection between his legs in a body scissors.  Rhyno gets up and lays in some strikes to Funaki's back.  Rhyno misses a charge and Funaki hits a bulldog.  The trade stiff chops until Funaki gets an enziguri.  Rhyno answers with a belly to belly suplex.  Funaki dodges the gore.  Funaki gets a school boy for 2.  Rhyno sheds Funaki on a tornado DDT attempt and plants him with a spinebuster.  A gore from Rhyno breaks Funaki in half and picks up the win in 5:00.  (**1/4)

Match #4

World's Greatest Tag Team of Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas vs Paul London and Spanky

Shelton Benjamin starts with some knees to Paul London. London stomps his foot, hits him with a drop kick and attempts a crucifix pin for a two count.  Benjamin comes back with an exploder suplex and grinds his forearm into London's face.  Blind tag to Haas, who clobbers Paul London from behind.  London flips his way free from an arm bar and tags in Spanky.  The hit a double fist drop onto Haas.  Shelton attempts a gorilla press, but Spanky escapes and attempts a rollup, followed by a drop kick.  Haas comes in and sends Spanky to the outside.  Blind tag to Benjamin, who gets a scoop slam, tags Haas back in for a double team back breaker.  Charlie Haas grabs an abdominal stretch, Spanky reverses into his own ab stretch.  Tag is made to Shelton who puts Spanky in a surfboard but Paul London breaks it up.  Haas is tagged back in for a dragon sleeper.  Benjamin gets tagged back in but just gets kicked in the face by Spanky.  Spanky ducks a clothesline and finally makes the hot tag to London.  London hits kicks, a dropsault, and a hurricanrana to clean house.  London hits a top rope stun gun followed by a spring board moosault.  The pinfall is broken up by Haas.  Haas then drops London on the top rope.  The heels attempt a broken arrow double team but Spanky breaks it up.  Haas hits an inverted atomic drop and Benjamin nails a super kick to out London's lights to get the win in 6:29.  (***1/2)

The only footage of this episode I can find joins the first match in progress.  Johnathan Coachman and Al Snow on the call. 

Match #1

Lance Storm vs Matt Hardy

Lance Storm hits a plancha and is fired up so I believe we might be hitting the home stretch.  We shall see.  Storm gets a springboard sunset flip back into the ring.  Hardy sends Storm to the apron by the tights and rams him into the turnbuckle.  Hardy gets a snap suplex for 2.  Matt locks in an arm and back stretch.  Storm breaks free with a jaw breaker, back elbow, clothesline, and a high knee for a 2 count.  Storm goes up and over in the corner and gets roll over fireman's carry for another 2 count.  Storm walks into a side effect for a 2 count.  Storm walks into a side effect for 2.  He misses a second rope leg drop.  Storm gets an Oklahoma roll and a clothesline.  Hardy follows Storm to the top rope.  Storm pushes him off, Storm misses a drop kick.  Hardy hits a twist of fate to pick up the win.  (** for what I saw)

Match #2

Mark Jindrak & Garrison Cade vs John Hennigan & Matt Cappotelli

The Season 3 Tough Enough champs make their debut here.  Snow is continuing his gimmick of calling Cade and Jindrak, Jade and Cindrak.  Cade and Cappotelli trade headlock takeovers.  Tag to Jindrak for a double ax handle to the arm.  Cappotelli gets a crossbody and Hennigan blind tags to get a rollup for 2.  Cade levels Hennigan with a back elbow.  Jindrak hits a back breaker.  Hennigan counters a powerbomb with a hurricanrana. Tags to Cappotelli for a double hip toss followed by a double kip up.  Cappatelli hits an elbow drop.  Jindrak nails a great flying clothesline.  He tags in Cade for an arm wringer who immediately tags out.  Jindrak hits an inverted atomic drop. Cappotelli flips out of a slam to get the hot tag to Hennigan.  He hits a series of drop kicks, flying forearm, and spin kicks.  Jindrak stun guns Hennigan with an assist by Cade to put away the rookie in 4:43. (**1/4)

Match #3

Randy Orton vs Val Venis

Orton gets a drop toe hold and grabs a head lock.  Val Venis gets two hip toss and grabs an arm bar.  He follows up with knees to the gut and a Russian leg sweep.  Val locks in an octopus lock but Orton gets to the ropes.  Orton grabs a headlock takeover.  Val escapes and works on Orton's left arm.  Val's boots come untied and Orton kicks him in the face when he goes to retie it.  They both attempt a move on the run at the same time and conk heads putting both men down as we go to commercial.  Back from break, Venis attempts a back slide for 2.  The match goes outside and Orton rams Val into the apron twice.  Back in for European uppercuts, hard irish whip.  Orton bends Val at the spine around ring the post.  Val attempts a suplex but his back gives out, which allows Orton to hit a back suplex of his own.  Orton continues to attack the back.  A Val sunset flip is followed by a neck breaker.  Venis continues with a half nelson slam and a spine buster.  He blocks an RKO attempt but he is able to get a spike DDT.  Orton lands some chops and locks in a sleeper.  Val slips out and hits a sit down powerbomb and three consecutive elbow drops. Val goes for the money shot off the top, but Orton intercepts.  Val is able to push him off and launches for the money shot only to land on Orton's raised knees.  Orton stalks and hits the RKO to get the win in 10:07.  (***1/4)

Orton will go on to defend the Intercontinental title against Rob Van Dam, tomorrow night on Raw. 

  

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 1/3/2004 & WWE Sunday Night Heat 1/4/2004

                                                   

                        Check out the podcast of Raw and Smackdown on the North South Connection!

Josh Mathews and Bill Demott will be doing the commentary on this episode of Velocity and welcome us to 2004!

The only video of this show that I could find had the top caught off.  Don't worry, Josh and Bill were not in a terrible Final Destination style accident.  

Match #1

A-Train vs Funaki

During the introductions, Josh Mathews jokes that this is the 2,385th meeting between to the two.  According to cage match this is their 28th and final meeting, including battle royals and house shows.  Ten of those matches were tag matches.  Of the 15 total televised non battle royals, this is their 8th singles match on Velocity.  Until this point, Funaki had managed to win one bout in the series which was on the 9/17/02 Velocity. 

Funaki kicks A-Train in the legs to break free of a choke slam attempt.  Funaki tries to control the Train with armbars but gets mowed down with a clothesline.  Funaki rolls away from several stomp attempts and exits the ring.  A cat and mouse game begins with Funaki getting the edge when Train gets back into the ring.  He jumps on Train's back and grabs a sleeper hold. Train smashes him into the corner turnbuckles.  A-Train misses a charge and Fuanki gets a roll up attempt for 2.  A-Train recovers with a big shoulder block to a sprinting Funaki.  He immediately follows up with the Train Wreck back breaker for the win a brisk fun 1:16. (* 1/2)  Final head to head record A-Train 7 Funaki 1.

Match #2

Doug and Danny Basham with Shaniqua vs Joel and Jose Maximo 

This match is very hard to writeup with the matching gear and their heads not shown on the screen, I will have the correct participant occasionally when commentary mentions it.  A Basham tosses a Maximo back after a few collar and elbow tie up attempts.  He hits a scoop slam but misses the elbow drop follow up and Maximo is able to scurry away and tag his brother.  Maximo is immediately driven into the corner and the Bashams tag.  A tilt-a-whirl head scissors allows for a tag to Jose Maximo who hits a top rope high crossbody for a 2 count.  Maximo grabs a head lock but the other Basham pulls the ropes down and he crashes to the floor.  Shaniqua gets a few shots in.  Back in the ring Doug Basham gets a leg drop and a hard irish whip.  The Bashams tag with some corner strikes and cheap shots and a headlock.  Jose Maximo gets jawbreaker on Danny to break free and tag out.  Joel Maximo cleans house with drop kicks.  The Maximos attempts a poetry in motion is stopped and caught mid air as one Maximo is slammed on the other.  High leg lariat after a switheroo to win for the tag champs after 4:48. (**1/2)

Jamie Noble is speaking to Nidia backstage.  

Jaime Noble tells Nidia, he doesn't know what Rey Mysterio said to her a few weeks ago on Smackdown, but since it came from Rey, it's a lie.  Nidia doesn't know what to think, because she loves Jaime very much but what Rey said makes a ton of sense.  She feels lost.  Noble can't believe that Nidia would believe a man in a mask over him.  He can't believe how much of his money he has had to spend on doctors only to get no where with her recovery.  Noble says there is a chance that she might not be able to ever see again.  Nidia says no, she will see again. She promises.  Noble says that if you want to promise something, promise you won't get involved in my match tonight.  She agrees.  

Match #3

Jaime Noble vs Brandon Groom

As Noble makes his entrance, Josh Matthews comments on the ridiculousness of not trusting wrestlers in masks.  DeMott says that the real people you shouldn't trust are people who don't speak English.  To start, Noble backs the larger Groom up and sweeps the leg and controls Groom with a headlock.  Groom gets a toss and a drop kick.  Groom tries to control but gets sent into the the turnbuckles hard and Noble lays in stomps in the corner.  Noble hits a suplex and locks in a arm and back stretch.  Groom escapes with a back suplex and follows it up with some clotheslines.  Noble lands a back elbow and attempts a neck breaker but Groom grabs the top rope causing Noble to crash and burn.  Groom gets an Oklahoma roll for 2.  Noble escapes hits his DDT and a dragon sleeper for the submission win in 3:35.  (*3/4) 

Match #4

Orlando Jordan & Shannon Moore vs Akio & Sakoda

Orlando Jordan takes down Sakoda, but Sakoda grabs an arm as they trade holds.  Jordan gets a shoulder block, hip toss, and a head lock takeover.  He tags in Shannon Moore who somersaults over the top rope into a sunset flip for a one count.  Sakoda tags out.  Moore gets a shoulder block a back leg sweep.  Moore goes up and over in the corner and nails a spinning heel kick for 2.  Akio turns a springboard crossbody into a rib breaker.  Sakoda tagged back in to stomp on the ribs, hit a back breaker, and hangs Moore in the tree of woe.  Orlando tries to come into the ring, which allows Tajiri's henchmen to lay the boots in the corner.  Akio hooks Moore in an abdominal stretch.  He sends Moore into the corner and Akio runs up his back and lands on his feet.  He charges again but Moore side steps and hip tosses Akio into the turnbuckles.  Hot tag to Jordan who has drop kicks and back body drops for everybody.  His Johnson shuffle homage gets interrupted and his gets taken out with a little high low from Akio and Sakoda.  Moore breaks up the fall.  Moore moonsault planchas outside onto Akio.  Jordan grabs Sakoda for a running powerslam to pick up the win in 4:57. (**3/4).

Our Sunday Night Heat cold open is a closeup of an ambulance logo with a piece of blue duct tape labeled Stevie Corp.  The camera pulls back reveals that it is not ambulance but a golf cart with the self proclaimed general manager of Sunday Night Heat, Steven Richards sitting proudly in the drivers seat.  Test arrives and he is not pleased.  Richards asks if he needs a ride.  Test does not in fact needs a ride.  He would however like to take Victoria for a ride.  The only reason Richards defeated him last week was because Victoria distracted.  She was in tight spandex, so Test just wanted to go up behind her and say, "yeah baby, it's me Test" while making his "o" face. Tonight, Test is going to beat up Richards so badly in their match tonight that he will never be able to please a women again that's where Test will step in, because once you go Test you forget about the rest.  Richards completely no sells this and says you sure you don't need a ride?  Test gets frustrated and kicks the cart only to hurt his foot and hop off upset.  

Match #1

Test vs Steven Richards with Victoria

On his entrance, Test flexes and licks his bicep.  Victoria gets her own entrance for this match.  Test clobbers Richards from behind while he admires his "Flower" on the ramp.  Test blows Victoria kisses.  Test tosses Richards into the ring and starts raining down fists.  Test locks in an odd for lack of a better term, sideways torture rack.  Richards pushes off the turnbuckles with his feet to escape.  Test attempts a full nelson slam, but Richards slips out of that.  Richards scores with a snap suplex, swinging neck breaker, and a bulldog for a 1 count.  Test takes over but Richards escapes a pump handle attempt, but this time falls victim to the pump handle.  Test ties him in the ropes, Andre the Giant style.  Victoria enters the ring and Test grabs her and plants one on her.  Victoria smiles, rubs his chest and kicks Test square in his quiz.  The referee has freed Richards, who gets a sloppy roll up while holding the ropes to pick up the victory in 3:30. (1/2*)

Match #2

Rico with Miss Jackie vs Brandon Groom

Rico spanks Groom.  Groom grabs a go behind and Rico bends over in a three point stance and grinds his buttocks into Groom's privates.  Rico goes on the attack with fists but falls victim to two hip tosses, scoop slam, and drop kick. Miss Jackie gets on the apron. Brandon Groom heads over to her but is still
able to duck Rico's clothesline attempt.  Groom charges Rico but Rico low bridges him to the outside.  Rico slams his head into the barricade ringside and then drapes him on the apron to kick Groom in his mouth.  Once in the ring again, Rico elbows Groom repeatedly in the head and hits a lifting kick.  Rico hits a sexualized elbow drop and pin cover for 1.  They trade chops.  A step up corner kick to the mush but Grooms down to the mat.  Rico heads to the top for a dive, but Groom gets the knees up. Three separate roll up attempts by Groom fail. Groom hits a spinning powerslam and heads to the top.  He misses a top rope crossbody and Rico finishes him with a devastating neck breaker in 3:48.  (*)

Match #3

Tommy Dreamer vs Matt Hardy

Matt Fact #1: Matt's first job was at a carwash.

Matt Fact #2 Matt is more extreme than Tommy Dreamer.

They trade slaps to begin.  Dreamer gets a scoop slam but Matt Hardy sends him to the outside by the tights and rams Tommy into the ring apron spine first.  Back in the ring, Matt gets a scoop slam, followed by a series of boots to Dreamer's gut.  Hardy heads to the top turnbuckle, but Dreamer pulls his leg and crotches him.  A Hardy back elbow sends Dreamer to the mat so that Hardy can miss a moonsault.  They reset with a strike exchange that Dreamer wins.  Dreamer delivers two separate styles of neck breakers, first swinging and then fall away. Dreamer hits a follow up death drop DDT.  Hardy turns a death valley driver into a side effect for a 2 count.  Hardy grabs Dreamer's kendo stick but misses with it.  Dreamer hits a sit out powerbomb.  Dreamer takes the cane up to the top and show boats to the crowd.  Hardy follows him up there and hits a twist of fate from the top to pick up the victory in 4:26.  (*1/2)

Match #4

Val Venis and Lance Storm wtih three ladies of the night vs La Resistance (Rene Dupree and Rob Conway)

Storm and Conway trade control holds, until. Lance goes up and over and nails a big punch to the face.  Conway scurries away to tag Dupree.  Lance controls until a tag to Val.  Val comes in and gets a scoop slam and they hit stereo elbow drops.  Dupree fires back with chops and forces Venis into the corner for the tag.  Conway is tagged in and connects on a back elbow, scoop slam, and a knee drop.  Val gets the boot up on a charge by Conway. Venis tries to climb to the top himself but gets pushed off by Dupree.  Dupree is tagged in and he exchanges strikes with Venis until Venis gets a half nelson slam. Both men are down.  Val crawls over and tags in Storm.  Storm is a house of fire with clotheslines and drop kicks.  He hits a steamroller and a springboard dropkick.  Dupree breaks the pin attempt.  Lance and Val attempt a double team maneuver but Dupree breaks that up as well.  Storm flips out of a slam attempt by Conway but Dupree grabs his foot from the floor.  This allows Conway to hit a devastating DDT and get the win in 5:43. (**)

Tomorrow night it's Raw in Memphis and Steve Austin is the sheriff!  What will that mean!?