HTPB 25.6

 

Everyone got hurt.  Big Nasty Express and Blue Gatorade continued to win.  Meat was smoked.

Big Nasty Express 102 defeats Hardcore Cabinet 56

The Express continues to chug along undeterred towards an undefeated season.  The squad got Caleb Williams back but wasn't set back his pedestrian 16 points. Through 6 weeks, Hardcore Cabinet has either been the highest or lowest score in 66% of the weeks. Hardcore Cabinet is a desolate wasteland left behind by God and any with enough good sense to leave.  Those left behind are doomed to an eternity of gang rapes and tales of the before time.  

Tinker Stinkers 120 defeats Ogre's Death Squad 67

Without Gibbs Ogre's Death Squad had as much chance of victory as he does in a closest aligned teeth contest.  Even with Cam Skattebo not being given a single touch, the Stinkers were able to steam roll the Ogre behind Drake Maye and the Steelers defense.  The Stinkers have been Tinkering with several trades and have hopes to turn their season around.  

Eh Big Dude 102 defeats The Collegians 97

The Collegians continue to plummet towards a toilet season, failing to break 100 even with 21 points from Tre Tucker.  Eh Big Dude continues to rise in the standings but things look to get much harder for the Big Fella as his schedule so far has not included a single team with currently with a winning record.  

Los Zapatistas 120 defeats Stabmybalzrepeatedly 76

Stabmyballzrepeatedly lost his QB to a blood cot and his backup to brain rot.  Los Zapatistas finally got a well rounded performance from his team and it lead him to the winner's circle.  Maybe he can rebuild on the season going forward. He gets three straight weeks of team's without a winning record to try and bounce back off his 4 game losing streak. SMBR has still yet to play IS, BG, and BNE so that combined with the quarterback situation could have already ended his season.

Dollars 128 defeats Italian Stallions 102 

Bijan Robinson was held in check and Italian Stallions could not overcome. Dollars hasn't scored below 100 points in a game and got his second win on the season.  Waiver wire pickup Germie Bernard brought in 21 points and Kenneth Walker continued to dominate.  Dollars looks to put himself back into the playoff picture.  Speaking of playoff spots, Dollars predictions currently have 5/7 correct.  

Bay-Bays 119 defeats Rush'n Missiles 73

Bay-Bay's picks up a big win as Huntley outscores Ward, he also won his fantasy matchup.  BB's continues his strong run to the upper half of the league, but the schedule gets a lot more difficult the rest of the way.  Was last year's playoff berth an aberration or is BayBay's here to stay.  The follow up season to the title has been a disaster for RM. He's 2-4 entering Josh Allen's bye week and with Judkins and Barkley injured the season may be in do or die mode.  

Blue Gatorade 124 defeats Bricklayers 79

The double tight end have Bricklayers 2 total points and with Love and Montgomery both out with injuries there was little hope.  Bricklayers haven't been this embarrassed by a kid in college since somebody impersonated Cie Grant in New Philadelphia.  Blue Gatorade continues to steam roll and pick up wins, while not even paying attention on Sundays as they sleep off the weekend.  The Browns shut down Derrick Henry but the rest of the squad led picked up all the slack and more.  At 6-0 and with tons of points, it would be an epic collapse for Blue Gatorade to make the playoffs ending his two year sucktastic stretch.  

Blue Gatorade's essay submission

The ghost of Hulk hogan comes out of one of the houses and yells racial slurs. Some spooky night. Quick, reach for the “flying elbow drop.” All of a sudden, the ghosts of hulk hogan and Randy savage are fighting at the center of the cul de sac like it’s 1989 at Trump Plaza in Atlantic City. All 14 members of HTPB are gathering around. Blue Gatorade, dressed as stone cold Steve Austin for the night, gets into character and just gets shitfaced ringside. Sergio is confused thinking the match is a bull fight and jumps into the ring with a red flag. In a flash, he is hit with an atomic leg drop. Los Zapatistas is rendered unconscious for the remainder of the night. At this point, it’s been a very even matchup between the ghosts. Just as the macho man starts to pull away, failbmfa, clutching his hulk hogan stuffed plush toy, jumps to action. No way! He’s on the top rope! What is he ever to do up there! He yells out to Randy savage, “Whatchu gonna do when hulkamania runs wild on you??!!” He takes to the sky off the top rope and misses Randy savage entirely blowing out both of his knees upon landing. Did you guys really expect anything different? While the crew deals with the injury, we cut to a commercial break. An advertisement for next week’s cul de sac clash appears as it’s the biggest night of the year! It’s Tinker Stinkers in…midget wrestling! He tries to defend his Arby’s gift certificate from hornswoggle in this epic bout. Now back to the action, some of the HTPB guys around the ring have noticed that one of the houses belongs to bloodfart Bart. He’s apparently trying to make his way to the action but he can’t figure out how to open his sliding glass door. Well, nobody’s gonna help him. He’s a grown ass man. Randy and Hulk in the ring is a blood bath. It’s gotta be over soon for all of our sanities. Hulk hogan hits Randy savage with an axe bomber that’ll surely seal the deal. He pins him, the ref shouts 1, 2, …and out of nowhere is hit from behind by none other than DIRTY DOM! He hasn’t made an appearance since before Blue Gatorade was even born! Dirty Dom now snaps to pinning Randy savage and he has won the hypothetical 1989 WWF championship belt between a racist ghost, a not so macho man, and cameos from middle aged men who at one point actually did this shit! It’s unbelievable! We all get to go home now.

Tinker Stinkers' Essay

Mason- wearing some sort of mask(he thinks he’s too cool for halloween; he’s definitely not Luke- Men in black agent(we are borrowing our one friends pug that looks just like the one in the first movie) Karter- not sure yet he might just wear his josh Allen jersey(he was smart and picked a different team to like instead of suffering being a browns fan) Mason is confused on that street and says this is a confusing as when dad decides to draft zero receivers every year and then trades his whole team season after season for very mediocre ones Karter is also, confused but feels like it’s a chance to get more Candy once we figure it out so he want to keep trying to get to those last three houses. Luke is the smartest person in the family I expect big things from him one day, so he says I don’t know why this is as confusing as dad staring at an Arby’s menu trying to figure out what to order. So he suggests how about we just turn around to the normal street and leave. So that’s what we do and get out of the time loop.

BG, BL, and $$ went 6-1 to get the win for the week.  SMBR comes in with the 1 spot to take the basement.  Dollars is our overall leader and The Loins and SMBR are at the bottom.  Check it out here.

#1 Blue Gatorade 58-20

#2 IS 57-21

#3 $$ 54-24

#4 BNE 50-28

The top four have been pretty consistent this year.  It's been these 4.

#5 BB 48-30

#6 BL 44-43

#7 EBD 41-37

Our fairly solid teams

#8 LZ 38-39-1

Sergio

#9 HC 29-49

#10 TS 28-49-1

#11 ODS 28-50

#12 RM 27-51

#13 SMBR 24-54

Not good teams

#14 The Collegians 19-55

Trash

Games of the Week

#5 Bay-Bay's vs #2 Big Nasty Express

BB 4-2

#4 Eh Big Dude vs #3 Italian Stallions

Series tied 15-15

#11 RM vs #12 HC

HC 6-4

#13 SMBR vs #1 BG

Series tied 4-4

#7 ODS vs #8 $$

$$ 13-9

#6 BL vs #9 LZ

BL 13-9

Toilet Bowl Game of the Week

#10 Tinker Stinkers vs #14 The Collegians 

TC 5-4

See you next week!

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 2/21/2004 & WWE Sunday Night Heat 2/22/2004

 

If you want to listen to an in depth look at the action on Raw, Smackdown and Pay per views, check out the Ruthless Podcast.  Which is available on the North South Connection.

It's Saturday night which means we are amping up the Velocity.

Velocity starts with a look at Eddie Guerrero celebrating backstage after winning the WWE title at No Way Out this past Sunday.  He calls his wife Vickie and thanks her for all of the support through the low times.  It was a touching call and worth seeking out.  

Match #1 

Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman vs Jaime Noble & Nunzio

Kidman tries a quick rollup on Nunzio and kicks him in the face.  He tags Rey who double team Nunzio with a giant swing and drop kick combo.  Nunzio catches Rey on a slide with an elbow drop and plants Rey with a head scissors reversal.  Jaime Noble is tagged in.  Mysterio gets a hurricanrana and tags out to Billy Kidman for a top rope cross body followed by a head scissors and a death valley driver to Noble.  Nunzio breaks the pinfall but gets chucked out of the ring.  Noble sends Kidman to the outside and hits him with a suicide dive.  Rey then top rope planchas onto them as we go to a commercial break.  

Back from the ads, Kidman hits a spinebuster.  Nunzio yanks Kidman onto the ropes arm first from the apron on a shooting star press attempt.  Nunzio is tagged in for arm work.  Nunzio nails arrivederci springboard single arm DDT.  Noble is for more arm work to try to get a submission.  Kidman flap jacks Noble into a drop kick and makes the hot tag.  Mysterio cleans house with a seated senton and Russian leg sweep.  He hits Noble with a springboard reverse DDT and a 619 to Nunzio.  Rey gets caught on another spring board attempt and Noble hits a tiger driver.  Kidman breaks the fall.  Kidman launches Rey into a Jaime Noble who is perched on the top rope for a hurricanrana in an amazing spot.  Rey gains the pinfall and the win for his team in 10:00 (***3/4)

Match #2

Rhyno vs Shannon Moore

Rhyno works over the arm at first but Shannon escapes and hits a heel kick for 2.  Moore grabs his own arm bar and Rhyno pulls his arm to get loose.  Rhyno creams Moore with a clothesline and follows up with shoulders in the corner.  Hard irish whip into the corner drops Moore and Rhyno locks in an interesting submission move seen above.  Moore slides free and hits a desperation heel kick.  The ref gives a standing 8 count.  Rhyno  misses a corner splash.  Moore attack with a flurry of strikes and flying forearm for 2.  Moore connects on a 2nd rope spinning neck breaker.  Rhyno catches a huge spinebuster and plants Moore wth a Gore in 5:47. (**1/2)

Match #3

Sakoda vs Paul London

They trade standing switches until Paul London connects on a drop kick for a two count.  Paul London hits the standing mushroom stomp in from the corner.  Sakoda throws London face first into the turnbuckle, followed by a knee that sends London to the floor.  Sakoda hits a vertical suplex to get London back into the ring for a 2 count.  Sakoda grabs a bear hug, Sakoda sends London hard into the corner.  London hits a dropsault out of nowhere for 2.  London hits an enziguri and slowly crawls to the top rope.  He misses a 450 splash.  Sakoda plants him with a spinebuster to get the win in 6:00. (*3/4)

Match #4

Rikishi & Scotty Too Hottie vs FBI (Johnny "the Bull" Stamboli & Chuck Palumbo) in a non title match

Chuck over powers Scotty to begin until the cruiserweight gets a head scissors. Hotty tries sticking and moving until Palumbo lays him out with a stiff punch to the jaw.  The Bull is tagged in for a headlock.  Stamboli knocks Rikishi off the apron.  Palumbo tags in to taunt and stomp Scotty followed by a back suplex. More strikes in the corner by large Italian.  Scotty almost escapes twice to get the tag to the 2004 Tribal Chief.  Scotty gets an enzguri and they both crawl to their corners for the tag.  Rikishi cleans house and lands a big DDT on Palumbo and then squishes him in the corner.  Stamboli saves Chuck from a stink face but falls victim to a Hotty bulldog and the Worm.  Palumbo and Rikishi each pass out super kicks.  Rikishi hits the corner splash on the The Bull to pick up the win in 6:16. (**1/2).

Although we don't get an establishment shot, our announcers are Johnathan Coachman and Al Snow.  

Match #1

Rico with Miss Jackie vs Test

Rico jumps into Test's arms and kisses him on the cheek Bugs Bunny style.  Test hits a big clothesline in the corner and lays the boots.  Test rolls to the outside and slams Rico's arm into the apron of the ring.  Test clotheslines Rico in the corner.  Test stumps on Miss Jackie's hand.  Rico dives out of the way from Test squishing him on the ropes.  Rico fights back with a flurry of jaw breaker, punches to gut, flying forearm, drop kick, rides Test like a pony, spin kick and his step over mule kick.  After all this Test just hits a half nelson slam for a 2 count.  Jackie hops up on the apron. Rico charges a distracted Test, but the former bodyguard moves.  Rico stops short from plowing into Jackie.  She flashes Test and Rico rolls up the stunned Test for the 3 count in 3:04. (*1/4)

Match #2

Rene Dupree with Rob Conway vs Val Venis with Lance Storm

Dupree begins by showing Venis his super bronzed body with some posing and flexing.  Val gives him an arm drag and an arm bar.   A USA chant starts despite all 4 men ringside are not Americans.  Coach and Snow even point this out.  Rob Conway trips Val from the outside and Dupree hits a shoulder block.  Storm does nothing about this.  Dupree follows up a snap mare with a float over snap mare.  Val gets choked it the ropes.  Dupree hits a knee drop and does the French Tickler dance.  Val gets a half nelson slam, a boot to the face, a pair of clothesline, and a shoulder block.  Val attempts mounted punches in the corner and sit out power bomb.  He climbs to the top for a Money shot. Conway heads over with the flag to clock Venis.  Storm intercepts.  The delay was enough for Dupree to get his knees up on the Money shot.  The young Frenchman follows up with a Death Valley Driver to get a win in 3:39.  (*)

Match #3

Hurricane vs Jon Heidenreich 

Heidenreich attacks before the bell and hits a side suplex.  Hurricane fires back with a European uppercut and other strikes. He low bridges the big man to the floor.  Hurricane does a plancha to the outside onto Heidenreich.  Back in the ring and Hurricane gets some mounted corner punches and thumbs Heidenreich in eye.  He misses a charge at the super hero,  Hurricane goes to the top rope but gets gorilla pressed onto the ropes right into a black hole slam and it's over in 2:44.  (*)

Match #4

Matt Hardy & Mark Jindrak & Garrison Cade vs The Dudleys

Matt Facts

#1 Matt has exceptionally long eyelashes.

#2 Matt's house has 4 bathrooms.

The match starts during a commercial break and when return Hardy is punching Devon in the corner.  Devon fires back which causes Hardy to bail and tag Jindrak.  Devon hits a flying clothesline and tags in Bubba.  Bubba grabs a headlock and tags in Spike for a double ax handle, head scissors, and runs on Jindrak's chest in the corner.  Devon is tagged back in and the heels run a distraction play to allow Cade to hit a big clothesline.  Cade gets caught in the faces corner and eats some strikes but the chaos allows Hardy to sneak in for a back suplex.  Jindrak is in for a snap mare.  Hardy in for mounted punches in the corner and hits a side effect.  Cade and Jindrak tag in and out spending some time dominating Devon.  Jindrak hits a sky high drop kick, but misses a follow up splash which allows Devon to make the hot tag. Bubba cleans house of the young tag team.  He gets a neck breaker to Cade for 2.  Bubba hits a Samoan drop. Spike gets a blind tag and hits a crossbody to Cade.  Hardy tries to break up the fall but Spike moves so Hardy drops the elbow on Cade.  The Dudley Boyz do the Wazzup crotch headbutt to Hardy.  They call for the 3D, but Hardy bails.  Spike goes for a Dudley Death Drop to Cade but Jindrak pushes Spike off the top.  Spike crashes and burns.  Jindrak covers for the win in 6:49. (**1/2)

HTPB 25.5

 

We have a new number 1 in Blue Gatorade. Spots 4-10 are all 3-2 or 2-3.  Long way to go. 

Blue Gatorade 170.13 defeats Hardcore Cabinet 72.43

All of the major quality AI image generators wouldn't create an image of pillow smothering of an old man with inured toes by a bald college student so we had to settle for the garbage one.  I stand my the idea and will not compromise the values of this flog. 

Blue Gatorade stayed unbeaten and doubled up Hardcore Cabinet.  The Cabinet had 5 players score under 4 points.  Every player for Gatorade had a big week who didn't get knocked unconscious by a cheap shot. Same guy who basically ended Nick Chubb's career.  Things don't get an easier for Hardcore as they face the other undefeated team next week.  Hardcore has petitioned the league to get Dwayne in the league because he can only beat people from that family. Can BG run the table? He seems to have spent all of his time this season on fantasy football and breaking things since he moved back home.  The list of items Max has broken since he moved into my basement include, the washing machine, a broom, and my will live.  

Big Nasty Express 130.28 defeats Los Zapatistas 96.98

The Express continues towards an attempt at an undefeated season. BNE got lots of junk time points from fill in QB Brissett while Ollie Gordon for now has been worth Ollie that FAAB cash.  The shoes continue to go down with the Colston Loveland ship. The injuries continue to mount for Los Zapatistas as the fantasy gods have come to claim their pound of flesh for cashing for 4 straight years.  That's right LZ has one less cash in the last 4 years than BNE has in franchise history. Considering the low stakes on the first two years when Nick cashed, and Big Cat's retirement.  BNE is most likely the franchise the deepest into the red in league history. 

Stabmybalzrepeatedly 115.73 defeats The Collegians 90.15

The Collegians returned to under 100 points and took his 4th loss of the season, in the toilet bowl game of the week.  Bucky Irving went crazy for 35 points on Thursday SMBR got a win with Austin Ekeler in his starting lineup in the year of our lord 2026.  The victory vaults SMBR several spots away from the toilet as the Collegians iron grip tightens.

Eh Big Dude 126.38 defeats Dollars 111.41

The Dude got big performances from his receiving corps with 46 points from Pickens and Nabers.  New Edition Ashton Jeanty was the only special teamer to struggle based on expectations. Jaylen Waddle continues to hang over Dollars like too many expresso martinis.  However despite the commissioner saying that Dollars were ruined by the schedule maker is not accurate as they were in the bottom half of point scorers despite the 111 points.  Stay in your lane, Commish.  

Ogre's Death Squad 137.24 defeats Rush' N Missiles 127

In a battle of two teams being mostly lifted by one player, Josh Allen's 32 spot was not enough to withstand the 38 from Gibbs.  RM managed to lose despite 48 points from his kicker and D.  What a kick in the D.  In the two weeks since trading Judkins for Metcalf, Judkins has gotten injured and Metcalf has scored 4 points for ODS.    The reigning champ falls below .500 and out of the current playoff mix.  

Italian Stallions 142.63 defeats Tinker Stinkers 106.97

Tinker Stinkers used 45 points from Drake Maye to vault his team to 106 points (42%) of the total.  The Loins keep on rolling and eating the rich and pasta. They have only played one team currently in the playoff picture so far.  Can the Stallions hold up against a tougher schedule the rest of the way?  Tinker Stinkers gets to go up against a much easier sledding the rest of the way as he has already played the top 3 teams in the standings.

Bricklayers 133.80 defeats Bay-Bay's 128.20

Puca tried to bring BayBay's a happy Canadian Thanksgiving with 31 points on Monday night.  Bricklayers used the very rare 54 points from Warren and Freirmuth from the Steelers and their disgusting inbred fans.  Why did the Cardinals draft a running back in the top of the draft when they are so terrible otherwise?  Bricklayers could go on a run here because after a big clash with BG, it's three straight bottom feeders.  While Bay-Bay's has played 1 team with a winning record and turned it into a 2-3 mark.  

Congratulations to Dollars on the 7-0 week in pick em, which is tough to do in a week in which you lose but when you stare at the draft board for that long, you have to know the league.  LZ and RM took up the rear at 2-5.  Always voting for the Wolves when they are a combined 4-11 is a recipe for disaster.  Dollars is the overall leader at 21 wins while EBD and LZ are currently at the bottom at 14.  See your spot here.

1 Italian Stallions 50-15

2 BG 46-19

3 BNE 44-21

4 $$ 41-24

5 BL 40-25

6. BB 39-26

7 EBD 33-32

8 HC 29-36

9 LZ 28-37

10 ODS 27-38

11 RM 25-40

12 SMBR 21-44

13 TS 18-47

14 TC 14-51

Dollars should sue the schedule maker, who is actually the one who is stealing his playoff spot.  

Game of the Week

#1 Blue Gatorade vs #4 Bricklayers 

BL leads 5-4

#8 HC vs #2 BNE

BNE leads 15-13

#7 BB vs #9 RM 

2-2

#11 Dollars vs #3 IS

Dollars leads 12-8

#5 EBD vs #14 TC

TC leads 11-10

#6 ODS vs #9 Tinker Stinkers

TS leads 5-4

Toilet Bowl of the Week

#12 Los Zapatistas vs #10 Stabmyballzrepeatedly

LZ leads 7-3

Hope everyone has a great week.

HTPB 25.4

 

Every team has finally picked up their first win but two teams still refuse to lose although this week it was luck pulling them to victory rather than performance.

Hardcore Cabinet 171.52 defeats 152.42

In a shootout reminiscent of the rice patties of Vietnam,  Hardcore Cabinet outlasted the Dudes thanks to a combined 31 receptions, 381 yards, and 3 touchdowns from CD Lamb and Tet McMillan.  Maybe EBD could have pulled out the win if he had not angered the fantasy gods, but he put his foot in the mouth too many times leading into a matchup with Hardcore Cabinet.  He said HC needed to make some moves to turn the season around, mocked his low projections, and awoke a team that had been staggering drunkenly through the season.  EBD falls to .500 on the season and 18 games under .500 for his career. However, in reality, Hardcore's team is not good.  It starts Jakobi Myers and Oronde Gadsen weekly without bye weeks. Yet they find themselves in 4th place.  I am just as confused as you.

Big Nasty Express 99.32 defeats Rush'n Missiles 95.61

If you are going to have the season of dreams, it is important to sometimes get lucky, which is what BNE needed to remain in first place. The Missiles continue to just be Josh Allen and with Moore and Barkley going down, things could be going down a dark road for the defending champ. Ollie Gordon scored 19 points or 0.28 points per FAAB dollar spent.  BNE hopes Caleb returns soon as Geno Smith managed 119 passing yards in a game they were losing the whole time.  

Ogre's Death Squad 102.57 defeat Ogre's Death Squad 68.58

Jamyr Gibbs couldn't do the heavy lifting for the ODS and Lions.  Maybe elevety million touches a game will wear you down.  Both McConkey and Rice got injured and put up goose eggs for the Squad. The victory catipulted The Collegians all the way up to still in last place.  While the loss put the ODS as the worst team in the 2-2 log jam.  

Bay-Bay's defeat 141.98 defeat Dollars 124.78

Dollars has put up point totals of 132, 139, 105, 124 and that has lead to one win.  If Dollars still lived off of Shorb you know he would be having some drywall knuckles. Bay-Bay's got Puka and Nico back which definitely sounds like a show on Disney Jr, and they gave the squad 48 points.  The Chiefs and Dollars continue to ride Kenneth Walker.  Probably riding him reverse cowboy style. Dollars schedule will ease up a bit as he has already faced the two 4-0 teams. Can he take advantage. As of right now, Dr. Dollars playoff predictions are sitting at 4-3.  

Blue Gatorade defeats Tinker Stinkers 87.05

Blue Gatorade got 15 points from each of his 3 running backs and it was enough to send the Stinkers to 1-3 on the season. This season has been a real kick in the head for the Stinkers.  Two members of the team didn't even break 2 points.  Blue Gatorade unlike the other undefeated team has not gotten a cheap one, with each week scoring at least xxx points. BG matches his win total from each of the previous two seasons with 4.  

Stabmyballzrepeatedly defeats Bricklayers 

SMBR finally gets in the win column, thanks in large part to the difference in points from Higgins to Chase in the trade made by Bricklayers the night before. (Yes I know that it wasn't enough to get the win since so many other players sucked but I thought the clip fit well)  David Montgomery's last three weeks still haven't managed to total his first week explosion.  

Italian Stallions 116.52 defeat Los Zapatistas 109.03

Los Zapatistas goes through quarterbacks like he goes through underpants next to pick up trucks, as yet another QB goes down injured in this one.  The Italians and Bijan Robinson continued to "Eat the Rich"  handing The Shoes their third straight loss.  Big games from Bijan and Flowers along with great kicking and defense helped IS overcome rough games for Watson, Schultz, and Wicks. Can LZ turn it around to avoid their first losing season since 2020?

This week the picks were no bueno.  The only picker to be above .500 was ODS going 4-3.  The Missiles were all scuds as he took the 0fer.  The performances were enough to remove ODS from last but not enough to remove RM from first although he has plenty of company now. Check it out here.

1. Italian Stallions 38-14

2. Dollars 37-15

3. BNE 35-17

4. Blue Gatorade 33-19

5. Bay=Bay's 31-21

6. Bricklayers 30-22

7. Hardcore Cabinet 29-23

8. Eh Big Dude 27-25

9. Los Zapatistas 26-26

10.  Rush'n Missiles 18-34

11.  SMBR 16-36

12.  Ogre's Death Squad 16-36

13. Tinker Stinkers 15-37

14. The Collegians 13-39

Hard to do analysis so early but on thing is very clear.  Dollars has been screwed royally. A 7 spot gap is ridiculous.  Otherwise 6/7 current playoff spots would be taken up by the top of the power rankings.  The wolves aren't lone as they are all together in the bottom 7.  

Game of the Week

#2 Blue Gatorade vs #4 Hardcore Cabinet 

BG 6-3 

#1 BNE vs #11 LZ

BNE 13-9

#10 $$ vs #7 EBD 

$$ 16-7

#5 BB vs #6 BL

BL 3-2

#3 IS vs #13 TS 

IS 5-4

#9 ODS vs #8 RM

RM 8-4

Toilet Bowl Game of the Week

#12 Stabmyballzrepeatedly vs #14 The Collegians

SMBR 6-5

We are 30% done with the regular season already!!

 

HTPB 25.3

It's week 3 and surprising group is at the top of the standings.  It is the upside down or will the league return to traditional form?

Blue Gatorade 120.10 defeats Dollars 105.85

No QB? No problem.  As Blue Gatorade overcomes Daniels' arm turning inside out last week and replaced him 13 points from Bryce Young.  Derrick Henry who has been scoring touchdowns since before BG was born, brought in 21 points.  Brock Purdy has been scorching hot for Dollars who has been the hard luck loser so far for the season.  Dollars is 4th in points and the reverse cowboy has managed to squeeze 1 win out of it.  We'll get a better look at it all in the power rankings in a few weeks.

Big Nasty Express 126.27 defeats Tinker Stinkers 90.45

The Stinkers showed how quickly they will sell out their deeply held personal beliefs over the stupidest thing ever if a pretty girl asks them to, and also showed that much like Kyle Pitts, he was left on the editing room floor.  The Big Nasty Express continues to shock and amaze with their 3-0 start.  The Express hasn't had a winning record since 2020.  Could this be the season of dreams? Could BNE collect more winnings than his entry fee for the first time since 2003?

Bricklayers 125.27  defeats Eh Big Dude 101.05

Things turned bleak for the Dudes after the first three roster spots of Burrow, Williams, and Chase, knocking them from the ranks of the unbeaten.  The Layers were fueled by Juwan Johnson to the victory in this AOE inessential matchup.  Bricklayers establishes himself as the standard, the Chuck D for AOE if you will and EBD continues his role as the Flava Flav hype man.  

Italian Stallions 154.62 defeat Hardcore Cabinet 106.70

Italian Stallions continues to upset God by defying his will by defeating Hardcore Cabinet yet again. The Stallions got 8 TD's on their way to high score for the week.  While Italian Stallions have finally broken through to get victories over the hammer, each of those victories came during a season, that Hardcore Cabinet also got a victory in the series.  Does this mean HC is going to turn it around and get a playoff win over the Loins?  No, traditionally teams that are ass don't make the playoffs. Have things finally flipped in this rivalry?

Ogre's Death Squad 128.93 defeats Los Zapatistas 89.70

if you would have told me that Los Zapatistas would have managed to get 23 points out of Watson, I would have told you that he would have broken 90 points.  Several members of the shoes were untied as 6 members failed to reach double digits. Ogre's Death Squad continues to be buoyed solely by Jahmyr Gibbs.  Congratulations to Tinker Stinkers who are getting the win on Gibbs' bye in week 6.

Bay-Bay's 130.95 defeats The Collegians 76.32

Bay-Bay's didn't get his injured players back but it didn't matter as he had good weeks up and down the roster to nearly double the Collegians.  The Collegians haven't broken 80 yet this season and have been the worst team in the league by an epic margin.  The Collegians also have now lost Etienne and Justin Jefferson to injury.  The teams was sludge when healthy, what diabolical layer of hell is about to be unleashed for Steve now?  Don't worry, there are ways to work through this hard time.

Rush n' Missiles 86.68 defeats Stabmybalzrepeatedly 84.95

SMBR lost more than first round pick Achane for the season, as they lost their fantasy matchup yet again.  That .09 loss in week 1 looms large.  Thankfully for SMBR, The Collegians exist.    Rush n' Missiles have been riding Josh Allen and little else so far this season.  The knee injury might keep Allen in check for a few weeks and that could see some issues from the defending champ.  But for now he can talk mad shit at Thanksgiving with a 2-0 record against his brother in laws.  

This week was led by several teams with 4 correct picks (LZ,TS, RM, BB, EBD, BL) and the rear was brought up by SMBR and HC with 2.  Kudos to our overall leader RM, who has been tied for the best score each week. BNE, ODS, and EBD bring up the bottom of the overall standings so far. See your spot here.

Game of the Week

#1 Big Nasty Express vs #5 Rush'n Missiles

Series tied 5-5

#4 BL vs #13 SMBR

Series tied 7-7

#3 IS vs #9 LZ

LZ leads 14-7

#10 BB vs #8 $$

$$ leads 3-1

#2 BG vs #11 TS

TS leads 6-3

#7 EBD vs #12 HC 

HC leads 15-10

Toilet Game of the Week

#6 Ogre's Death Squad vs #14 The Collegians

TC leads 11-10

Will someone separate form the pack this week?  Will ODS pop his champagne?  Will SMBR and TC finally pop their cherries?