HTPB 25.1

 

It's time for the 25th season of House That Plook Built and the 6th season of the Flog.  It looks like I will have plenty of time to write this season, as my team is a total Murdoch.  

Ogre's Death Squad 104.52 defeats Hardcore Cabinet 74.73

Gibbs and little else was enough to beat Hardcore Cabinet in a week 1 romp for the commisioner.   The stack of Herbert and McConkey came through for a score but Herbert also got McConkey killed with a good old fashioned hospital ball.  What can be said about Hardcore Cabinet that hasn't been said about the Black Death.  It's going to be a long season.

Eh Bid Dude 92.92 defeats Rush'n Missiles 91.02

The defending champ didn't defend much as his Buffalo Bills stack had over 50% of his points and it wasn't enough to defeat EBD despite his Bengals stack being abysmal.  Luckily EBD won or he would have stormed out of week 1 like he did the draft.  RM still high off his championship last year thought he would trot out the Titans defense instead of  the Bronocs or Patriots and it cost him the win.  Unlike his Saturday nights when he take 3 d's, RM has to chose which of three D's to use on Sunday. 

Italian Stallions 135.57 defeat Bricklayers 130.87

The Italian Stallions rode horse look alike Trevor Lawrence to a high scoring victory over the Layers.  David Montgomery found pay dirt 3 times.  This matchups had 14 touchdowns.  That's 31% of the total points in the game, which could mean a heavy regression to the mean in the coming weeks. Zay Flowers could be out for a bit and Lawrence doesn't get to play the Browns again, so the Loins are happy to get our of Bricklayer stadium with a victory.  

Big Nasty Express 179.30 defeats Dollars 132.53 

Big Nasty Express arrives on time every 25 years like clockwork.  The Bears QB and RB combined for 72 points without a single double up.  BNE injured his thumb throwing so many TD gifs into the thread. This is a day BNE will tell his grandchildren about around a tire fire one day. Dollars got several solid performances from his squad, but could not withstand the onslaught from BNE.  

Los Zapatistas 148.82 defeat Bay-Bay's 124.03

Los Zapatistas was able to have both Dart and Olave play an entire game without getting concussed and was able to romp to victory over Bay-Bay's as NAFTA exploded like the Mega Powers.   On the bright side for our Canadian friend, Lamar Jackson actually ran the ball making him usable after last year's poor performance.  

Tinker Stinkers 111.63 defeats Stabmybalzrepeatedly 111.52

So you're telling me that Jeremy has a brother and he eked out a .11 victory in week 1? It was the 8th closest game in league history. The narrow margin was narrower than Jason's arteries after a hearty meat sesh.   The Stinkers were able to over come Maye and Pitts combining for 10 points to get the win. SMBR got 38 total points from NFC South running backs, which is quite the accomplishment.  A big difference in this game is the 3 extra points in the kicking game.

Blue Gatorade defeats The Collegians

Derrick Henry who may have been in the league since before Blue Gatorade was born, racked up 35 points.  This along with the Raiders who were started in week 1 for the time since 2005 or something was enough to continue The Collegians post championship swoon.  In fact the last three champions all lost this week.  Justin Jefferson was able to use Carson Wentz to have a solid day but he was the only position player to score above their projections on Sunday. 

This week was late submitted so thanks for getting your picks in quickly.  Winners were HC, RM, and BL with 6.  So if you have teaching license you know this league clearly.  While pulling up the rear of particiapants were SMBR and BB with 3.  EBD did not participate.  Season long results kept here.

Game of the Week 

#4 Blue Gatorade vs #2 Los Zapatistas 

BG leads all time 4-2

#9 BL vs #6 ODS

All time BL 16-12

#1 BNE vs #13 TC

All time BNE 12-11

#8 $$ vs #11 SMBR 

All time $$ 7-3

#7 EBD vs #5 TS 

All time EBD 5-4

#3 IS vs #12 RM 

All time RM 7-3

Toilet Bowl Game of the Week

#10 Bay-Bay's vs #14 Hardcore Cabinet 

All time BB 3-1

The season is early but boy howdy are the standings from the Bizarro World.  All three time champions lost and traditional doormats, BNE, IS, and BG are 75% of the top 4.  Will the world return to proper order or have the have nots come to eat the rich?  

2026 Dollars Annual Playoff Predictions

                                   2026 HTPB Playoff picks 

Ogre’s Death Squad

 Drafting #1 overall ODS took Gibbs, the most consensus first overall pick I can remember. It is everyone”s belief that he will smash this year! Packers starting RB Marshawn Lloyd in the 9th could prove to be a massive advantage. Judkins, Croskey, Marks and Mitchell round out this extremely deep platoon of RBs. ODS could stumble at WR! Rice, McConkey and Downs are talented and should be great but have all struggled playing full season. Excellent value on Tyler Warren at the end of the 4th round. Completed his stack with Herbert in the 7th, one of the QBs I was hoping fell to me! I think he is in for a big year! Will he find a way to Big E it away? 

Italian Stallions 

The Stallions settled for Consolation prize Bijan Robinson at #2 overall. He built on that foundation taking the starting RBs from the two Super Bowl teams with his 5th & 6th picks Jadarian and Rhamondre. Solid Value on backfields you want a part of. Then takes the other QB I was targeting in the 7th Trevor Lawrence who was putting up big numbers down the stretch last season. What puts the Stallions over the top for me is his flock of WRs. Drafting 8 WRs in the first 12 rounds! Especially like his top 3 while mixing in some value and upside shots with his following 5 WR selections. The depth at WR in ppr should pay off. Another season another Dom Draft I like, sooner or later I’m gonna be right, this is the year buddy! 

Eh Bid Dude 

Taking the first WR off the board at #3 overall selecting JaMarr Chase. Then was able to complete the stack selecting Joe Burrow in the 4th round. Seems like a reasonable price for that lethal of a duo! Grabbing elite talent near the end of the second round Malik Nabers. A calculated risk with him returning from injury, repots have been positive. Possibly the best pair of WRs in the league. Javonte Williams and Skattebo showed some 20+ point week production last season. We will see how the early Kicker and Defense work out. Those are the ones I would have picked. Hard to get them right but can definitely be difference makers. None of this really matters, this team will be unrecognizable by week 8.

 Blue Gatorade 

Starting the draft with two reliable RBs attached to good offenses James Cook and Derrick Henry. Both of which can provide week winning performances. Then managed to put together a young and exciting group of WRs. DeVonte Smith, Emeka Egbuka, Rome Odunze, KC Concepcion and Michael Pittman. Not personally a believer this year but Jayden Daniels in the 6th round seems like good value on a QB that many consider a top 5 player at the position for fantasy. Drafting next to “He’s a Slash Dude,” Max ended up with 3 TE’s. The wily vet Travis Swift, newly acquired Giant Isaiah Likely, and Rams second year breakout Terrance Ferguson? 

Russian Missiles

 Give the man his due. Your HTBP Champion! Here to run it back. Surprising everyone when he took Josh Allen in the Second round. “Dance with the one who brought you.” Bounce back candidate Saquon Barkley should perform better than last season with the new OC. At WR he was able to get his Josh Allen stack with DJ Moore, TD specialist Davante Adams, DK Metcalf and Debo Samuel. George Kittle should have a prominent role in the efficient 49ers offense, and alongside Mark Andrews gives him an experienced duo at TE. The Broncos are projected to be a top 5 defense. Let’s Ride Not since a Big Cats Crushers drafted team has this much experience existed on one team. 

BayBay’s

 With the 4th overall pick he selected Puka, the #1 WR last year. PPR monster in his prime. Alongside Nico Collins this WR duo is in the discussion for best duo in the league. Additional WRs Jayden Reed, Makai Lemon, Tre Harris and Jalen Nailor. Nice upside picks with a realistic chance of one maybe two of them breaking into top 30 at the position. Last season’s #1 TE Trey McBride fell into his lap in the 3rd round, should finish near the top again. Lamar Jackson who usually finishes as a top 3 QB with his 4th pick. Weakness in my opinion is definitely RB. My belief in Tuten to be a top 15 RB was major reason for this playoff pick selection. Tony Pollard should get enough volume and RJ Harvey should handle pass catching duties to be decent flex options. What injuries will BayBay’s be faced with this season, will he overcome them? 

Dollars 

After missing the playoffs last year I’m hoping the schedule maker does a better job matching me up with teams on their down weeks. Probably gonna need some help getting this questionable team to the playoffs . I do like my players however injuries concern me with guys like Ken Walker, can he handle the 3 down work load? Mike Evans, Jaylen Waddle can they start and finish games. Definitely could have made arguments for other teams here but gotta have faith in my picks to go get it done. Playoff picks were not even close last year, see if I can get back on track this season. 

Good luck to everyone week 1 except for that buster BNE 

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 2/14/2004 & WWE Sunday Night Heat 2/15/2004 No Way Out Edition

 

Check out the audio podcast Ruthless with an in depth breakdown of the week's Raw and Smackdown on the North South Connection podcast network.

It's Saturday Night so it's time for some Velocity. What better way to spend your Valentine's Day.   Tonight we get Bill Demott back in the commentary booth with Josh Mathews.  

Match #1

Billy Kidman & Paul London vs The FBI (Nunzio & Johnny Stamboli)

Chuck Palumbo is not out with his pizons as he is preparing for his match later.  Nunzio flexes and challenges Kidman to a test of strength.  Nunzios immediately tries to kick Kidman who catches his foot for an atomic drop followed by an arm drag.  A tag to Paul London, who sunset flips on his way into the ring for a 2 count.  London gets an inverted arm drag and tags out for a double team drop toe hold and elbow drop combo.  Nunzio escapes to make the tag to The Bull.  London goes up top and stomps the back of a standing Stamboli.  London heads up top again, but Nunzio distracts him allowing Stamboli to whip him off to the mat.  The FBI tag back and forth in the conrner stomping London.  Nunzio snapmares Lodon and grabs a headlock.  Stamboli gets a cheapshot on London behind the ref's back.  Nunzio taunts Kidman in the corner and chokes London before drop kicking him right in the mush.  Nunzio grabs another chinlock.  London almost escapes but he is cut down by a knee to the face.  Nunzio misses a punch and hits the ropes, hurting his hand.  London holds the ropes and Nunzio yanks him off in a spot that I assume was meant for London to kick Nunzio but he misses and Nunzio still sells it.  The Bull is tagged back in but London kicks him in the back of the head and finally makes the tag to Kidman.  Kidman gets a double head sciossors to both FBI members and then a single head scissors to Stamboli followed by an enziguri for 2.  He recovers and breaks Kidman in half with a neck breaker.  London is able to break the fall and planchas Nunzio on the outside.  Kidman hits a drop kick and climbs up for a shooting star press but Stamboli gets up so Kidman tries a crossbody which Stamboli catches.  Kidman wriggles free for a sunset flip attempt and London aids him with a drop kick to get the win in 9:34.  (**3/4)

Dawn Marie is trying to help Paul Heyman with his spear induced injuries from Monday Night on Raw.  (Check out the podcast linked above)  She starts rubbing him and Heyman says she is making it worse.  Heyman says that Goldberg has made history with that spear.  Goldberg wants to ruin Paul Heyman's first Smackdown Pay Per View.  Either Goldberg lives up to the hype or Brock Lesnar will make Goldberg pay, prove Smackdown is superior to Raw, and that Brock Lesnar is superior to Bill Goldberg.  

Match #2

Shannon Moore vs Ultimo Dragon

A side headlock takedown by Dragon, school boy, and another head lock takeover.  He hits a tilt-a-whirl head scissors and drop kick sends Shannon Moore to the floor.  Moore yanks Dragon off he apron to gain his first advantage of the match and hits a back suplex.  Dragon gets several hamstring kicks til a kick in the back of the head.  A up and oer in the corner leads to a dragon kick to the gut.  Moore drop kicks Dragon on Asai DDT attempt.  Moore gets a neck breaker but Dragon rolls through and kicks Moore in the chest.  Moore goes to the top and hits a top rope floatover reverse bulldog for a near fall.  Dragon hits an Asai DDT out of nowhere after a back elbow for the flash win in 5:11. (**1/4)

Match #3

Chuck Palumbo vs Orlando Jordan

Palumbo is sans Nunzio and Stamboli.  They grapple for control which is eventually won by Jordan.  Jordan jams his knee on a leap frog attempt.  Palumbo chop blocks and then kicks out the knee.  Palumbo locks in a figure four.  He repeatedly grabs the ropes for extra leverage until Nick Patrick finally catches him allowing Jordan to reverse the pressure on the hold.  Jordan school boys and back slides Palumbo for 2.  Palumbo gets up and boots Jordan's head off for 2.  Jordan gets a drop kick but the move hurts his knee more.  He then goes for Johnson shuffle to damage his knee more for no reason just so he could dance.  He hobbles to the top rope but Jordan just falls off from his bad wheel.  Palumbo goes for the figure four and Jordan rolls him up for 2.  Palumbo takes him down with a huge right hand.  He picks OJ up for a powerslam, but Jordan slides out the back and he rolls up Palumbo for the three count in 5:15.  Nunzio and Satmboli breat down Nunzio in the aisle.  Palumbo gives Jordan a somoan drop and Stamboli nails a top rope leg drop.  (3/4*)

Match #4

Billy Gunn vs A-Train

Billy Gunn gets a head lock but Train throws him off and hits a big clothesline, followed by a standing splash and an elbow drop.  Gunn fires up with punches but Train runs through him.  Train grabs a bear hug.  Gunn bites Train to break the hold but immediately eats a back elbow.  Gunn hits a drop toe hold into the second turnbuckle. He hits two clotheslines and diamond cutter for 2.  A corner splash but Train dodges a famouser.  He nails a bicycle kick and with the help of the ropes pins Gunn in 4:20. (*).

Dawn Marie talks about how turned on she is by hot action on a Saturday night.  Heyman is ignoring her as he is on the phone booking their flights to San Fransico for tomorrow No Way Out.  Pay per view.  Heyman yelps in pain and curses Goldberg as he tries to get up.  He has Dawn Marie pick up his phone which he dropped.  She does so in a seductive manner but Heyman just wants her to hurry up so they can catch the flight.  Maybe we can tagalong to the Cow Palace as well for No Way Out.

Funaki who is of course Smackdown's number 1 announcer is interviewing Jaime Noble.  He wants his thoughts on being blindfolded in his match with his girlfriend Nidia.  Noble thinks it is unfair.  Nidia has blondfolded him before in the bedroom, but this is different.  How can he even defend himself.  He didn't blind her in the first place.  Why should she get the advantage.  She could attack him from anyhwhere.  Jaime by God Noble can't be beaten by a girl.  That would be embarrassing.  I couldn't look in the mirror.  It's unfair, it ain't right, it's BS.  Noble storms off.  

Big Show is being interviewed by Rue DaBona.  She wants to know if Rue was in involved with the attack on Kurt Angle on Smackdown.  Big Show says that while Rue may be beautiful, she is not very smart.  He is 7 feet tall and 500 pounds.  If he attacked Kurt, Angle wouldn't even be here right now.  Tonight my focus is to win the Triple Threat and face Lesnar for the title.  Rue clarifies, "If he beats Eddie Guerrero tonight."  Big Show laughs as he is imagining a giant battling Eddie Guerrero at Madison Square Garden at WrestleMania 20.  

Match #1

Ultimo Dragon, Paul London & Billy Kidman vs Kyo Dai (Tajiri, Sakoda, and Akio)

Akio hits a shoulder block and taunts Paul London who someone manages to get a head scissors from his back.  He stomps Akio on the back of the neck from the top rope and follows with an arm drag.  The faces double team with a side walk slam by London and leg drop by Kidman.  Akio gets a jawbreaker to create space to tag in Sakoda for a headscissors.  Akio gets a cheap shot knee from the apron.  Tajiri tagged in but the ref didn't see it and kicks him out but is okay with Akio who was the not the legal man coming in.  So whatever.  Now Akio tags Tajri in for some patented kicks and grabs a headlock.  Triple drop kick to Kidman face by Kyo Dai but London is able to break up the fall.  Akio in for more kick and chokes Kidman in the ropes.  Akio misses a spin kick and Kidman capitalizes with a drop kick of his own.  He gets the hot tag to Ultimo Dragon for tons of kicks to Tajiri, a springboard moonsault to Akio.  Tajiri accidently kicks Sakoda in the face.  Tajiri hits a spring board elbow but London breaks the fall.  Akio clotheslines him to the outside. Kidman sends Akio to the floor with his own clothesline.  Sakoda lifts up Ultimo Dragon onto his shoulders, Tajiri boots him in the face and Sakdoda immediately hits a twisting powerslam, as Tajiri covers to pick up the win in 5:35. (**3/4).

It is time for the PPV can Eddie Guerrero feed his addiction?

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 2/7/2004 & WWE Sunday Night Heat 2/8/2004

Check out the audio companion podcast for this week's Raw and Smackdown on the North South Connection Network!

It's Saturday night so that means it's time for Velocity on Slamming Saturday Night on Spike TV.  Our announcers are Josh Mathews and Tazz. No establishment shot was done so that means that all of commentary was done in post production.  

Match #1

Nunzio with Chuck Palumbo vs Paul London

Nunzio gets on all fours and challenges London to an amateur wrestling contest.  London goes for an Oklahoma roll for a 2 count.  London grabs a head lock but Nunzio is able to turn it into a leg scissors.  London kips out.  London goes to the top and stomps on a standing Nunzio's shoulders from the top and then rolls him up for 2.  Nunzio pulls London off the top with a dragon screw and wrenches a leg lock.  London escapes but is mowed down with a clothesline followed by a chop block.  Nunzio goes back to wrenching the leg.  London kicks Nunzio in the head from his back.  London dodges a kick to the knee and hits an enziguri and a front salto suplex for 2.  London's knee gives out on a back body drop but immediately hits a dropsault.  London's knee caves again allowing Nunzio to hit a stiff drop kick to the face from the top rope to pick up the win in 6:40.  (**3/4)

Match #2

World's Greatest Tag Team (Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas) vs Funaki & Ultimo Dragon

Funaki school boy's Benjamin to begin the bout and follows up with a tilt a whirl head scissors before Shelton can get his bearings.  Dragon dives at Benjamin but is caught, Funaki dropkicks Dragon in his arms to send Benjamin to the mat.  Mathews tells us that this match is happening under Lucha Libre rules with lax tag rules.  Haas is tagged in for knees to Dragon's head, but a kick to the back of the leg brings him down.  Swift kicks to Haas.  Mid Asai DDT attempt, Funaki tries to enter the ring for reasons that don't make sense.  Now the ref strictly enforces the tag rules and tries to send Funaki back to the corner.  This allows Benjamin to come in a grab Dragon midair and drop him on Haas' knee for a back breaker.  WGTT combines for a double suplex.  A hard Irish whip by Benjamin and tags Haas back in to lay a beating in the corner.  Dragon goes get a sunset flip but is leg laced and Benjamin is tagged in to grab a rear naked choke.  Dragon escapes and nails a springboard moonsault.  The hot tag should have been made when Dragon slipped free from Haas but clearly he wasn't supposed to as Dragon and Funaki don't make the tag despite being in position to do so for awhile.  Haas gets a double underhook suplex on Ultimo.  He tags Shelton in but Dragon hits a thrust kick.  Dragon finally tags out to Funaki who kicks Shelton and turns Haas inside out on a enziguri.  Bulldog to Shelton for a 2 count.  Dragon grabs Haas leg from the apron.  Funaki baseball slides Haas out of the ring.  Funaki reverses a Benjamin slam to an inverted DDT.  The fall is broken up by Haas.  Dragon planchas to the outside on Haas.  A dragon whip kick by Benjamin finishes off Funaki in 7:46.  (**3/4)

Match #3

A-Train & Rhyno vs Bobby Rude & Jon Murray

  

Rhyno dominates Roode to start until a series of arm bars and hip tosses.  Tag is made to Jon Murray who is quickly dominated by A-Train.  Train misses a splash and Murray makes the tag.  Rude nails a missile drop kick.  Rude escapes a press slam but gets run over and squished in the corner.  Tag to Rhyno for a cover and then a corner beating.  Tag to A-Train for an abdominal stretch, but Train misses the Vader Bomb. Rude gets drop toe hold into the turnbuckle and follows up with an enziguri.  Rude makes the tag and Rhybo gets Murray with a few clotheslines.  He hits a desperation drop kick to Train but Rhyno crushes him with a spinebuster and a Gore in 5:36.  (*3/4).

Match #4

Bradshaw vs Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli

The match begins with a collar and elbow tie up.  Bradshaw gets a shoulder tackle, hip toss, Russian leg sweep, and the Last Call fallaway slam.  Stamboli misses a desperation charge but is able to bail from the ring to avoid a clothesline from hell.  Bradshaw pursues outside but gets caught on the way back in.  He fights back immediately with a shoulder block and an elbow drop.  The Bull rakes the eyes and nails a top rope shoulder tackle.  He military presses Bradshaw and drops him throat first on the top rope.  He follows up with a neck breaker and back suplex.  He grabs a head vice.  Bradshaws breaks free but Stamboli grabs a sleeper hold.  Bradshaw back suplexes Stamboli to break the hold.  Bradshaw nails a big boot, shoulder block, swinging neck beaker for 2.  The Bull misses a big clothesline, but Bradshaw doesn't miss a clothesline from Hell to pick up the victory in 6:24. (**1/2).

We head 24 hours later to Sunday Night Heat with Johnathan Coachman and Al Snow at the desk.  

Match #1

Rob Van Dam vs Jon Heidenreich

Strike exchange won by Heidenreich but RVD quickly fires back with a spin kick and shoulder blocks in the corner.  RVD backflips back for one more but Heidenreich clotheslines him down exploding out of the corner.  He then hits a back breaker and grabs a bear hug.  Heidenreich rams him in the corner, but RVD gets a boot up on a charge.  RVD's top rope sommersault senton, but Heidenreich is up first and hits a clothesline and grabs the bear hug again. RVD punches free and hits a heel kick, drop toe hold into the turnbuckle, and a spin kick.  He goes up top for a missile drop kick and rolling thunder for 2.  Heindenreich does bounce back with a sidewalk slam and lays in some forearms to the back.  RVD escapes the vertical suplex hits springboard drop kick and a 5 star frog splash for the victory to win in 5:02 (*3/4)

Match #2

Hurricane & Rosey vs Pat Cusik & Robbie Rude

Cusik eats a few Rosey shoulder blocks and tags in Rude in a panic.  Rude demands to face off with Hurricane and Rosey obliges.  The Hurricane hits a pair of arm drags and grabs an arm bar.  Rude is able to make it to the corner so Cusik can hit a few cheap shots in and Rude is able to hit a back suplex.  Cusik tags in for a side slam and tags back to Rude for a suplex.  Rude grabs a back stretch, but Hurricane fights out, flips out of a suplex attempt and creams Rude with a back elbow.  The hot tag is made to Rosey.  Rosey cleans house with a side slam to Cusik and a scoop slam to Rude.  Rose hits a massive leg drop but the pin is broken up.  He spinebusters Rude and Hurricane climbs Rosey's shoulders in the corner for the splash to win in 5:09.  (*1/2)

Match #3

Molly Holly & Test vs Victoria & Stephen Richards

Molly is out first but Test is jumped by Richards and Victoria during his entrance.  Victoria chases Holly into the crowd.  Test and Victoria turn back to Test and attack.  Several refs come out and pull Richards and Victoria off.  Test heads up the ramp.  The match never officially started as the bell never rang. 

Match #4

Dudley Boys (Bubba Ray & Devon) vs Mark Jindrak & Garrison Cade

The Dudleys are beaten, battered, and bandaged from their run in with Kane combined with their tables match from the Rumble.  Devon's ribs are taped up and Bubba has a large bandage on a bruised and swollen eye.  Bubba gets a head lock take over on Cade twice.  Tags are made to Devon and Jindrak.  Devon hits a flying forearm and a scoop slam.  Bubba is tagged in for a neck breaker.  Jindrak tags Cade in and Bubba is caught in the injured eye with knee lift.  Bubba is beaten in the corner with focus being paid to his eye.  The younger team takes turns grinding Bubba's eye.  Bubba strikes back to get some space and makes the tag to Devon.  Devon cleans house with a neck breaker and powerslam.  Cade accidentally clothesline Jindrak.  Devon hits a splash in the corner.  Devon attempts to superplex Cade but Jindrak gets a cheap shot in the ribs.  Devon falls to mat and Cade follows with a top rope elbow to get the win in 7:43. (**1/2).

Coach and Snow remind us to tune into Raw tomorrow for the WrestleMania contract signing between Triple H and Chris Benoit.  Plus Benoit will battle Ric Flair, 1 on 1!  Check out the Ruthless podcast to here all about that great night of sports entertainment.  

 

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 1/31/2004 & WWE Sunday Night Heat 2/1/2004

Check out the audio companion podcast for this week's Raw and Smackdown on the North South Connection Network!

 

We start our weekend with the slamming Saturday Night on Velocity. 

Cole is filling in for Bill Demott.  He spends the entire show crapping on Josh and the matches and their competitors which on this evening all happen to be cruiserweights.

Match #1

Ultimo Dragon vs Shannon Moore

Dragon controls the arm and gets a snap mare.  Shannon escapes and grabs a headlock, followed by a shoulder block, and slaps Ultimo Dragon out of the air.  Dragon comes firing back with a leg sweep, running kick to Moore's back and then the chest.  He tosses Moore to the outside, but Moore pulls his legs out from Dragon on the Asai moonsault attempt.  Moore grabs a silly looking submission attempt that does not look painful, see above. Dragon breaks free and misses a leg lariat. Shannon hits a flurry of elbow strikes to Dragon's neck.  He follows it up with a snap suplex and a chin lock.  Dragon fights out but gets caught with an enziguri.  Dragon eventually gets a hurricanrana and both men are down.  A strike exchange is won by Ultimo.  The Japanese star hits a springboard moonsault right into Moore's skull with his knee.  Moore recovers and hits a neck breaker, drop kick, and a float over top rope neck breaker for 2.  Mathews tells us that move is called the Mooregasm.  If I have to know that so do you.  Dragon gets a kick to the gut and attempts the Asai DDT, Moore counters with a sleeper.  Dragons escapes via a jaw breaker and into an Asai DDT to pick up the win in 6:16.  (***)

Match #2

Akio vs Funaki

They trade go behinds and Funaki gets a head lock takeover, hip toss and a drop kick.  This entire time Cole is loudly mooing because Josh mentioned that No Way Out is at the Cow Palace.  Akio finally gets on the offensive with a jumping leg lariat and a surfboard.  Funaki counters it into a backslide for a pin attempt.  Akio grabs a front face lock.  Funaki after escaping gets a enziguri, followed by a back body drop and a bulldog.  Akio misses an up and over, but hits a leg lariat. Funaki catches Akio on the top for the Rising Sun DDT for the upset win in 5:01.  (*3/4)

Match #3

Scotty 2 Hotty vs Sakoda

Sakoda grabs an armbar.  Scotty escapes and gets a shoulder tackle. Sakoda tries to throw him over the top, but Scotty skins the car and does the crane poise all Karate Kid. A pair of arm drags and head scissors by Scotty.  Sakoda nails a drop kick to the knee and begins to go to work on the joint.  Multiple submission holds used by Sakoda.  Scotty uses his good leg to push Sakoda into the ring post.  Scotty hits a back body drop before Sakoda hits a second drop kick into the knee.  Mr. Hotty comes back with a superkick and then jumps on his bad leg to perform the W-O-R-M.  Cole even mentions, "Well so much for the knee injury."  Sakoda gets his arm under the ropes to break the pin.  Scotty argues with the ref for a very long time.  When he goes back to Sakoda, he gets raked in the eyes and rolled up with feet on the ropes but just barely as Sakoda only gently places his feet there for half a second in 5:38.  (3/4*)

Things when downhill fast on this episode.  Let's see how Sunday Night Heat treats us.

Match #1

Christian vs Lance Storm

They trade armbars and follow up with the opening match sequence taught to every contestant on Tough Enough.  Storm hits an impressive hesitation vertical suplex.  Christian shoves Lance off the turnbuckle to the floor in a hard bump.  Christian tosses Storm midsection on the ropes and quickly hits a back breaker.  Storm tries to fight back but Christian gets a bear hug.  Storm head butts free and catches a dropkick to put both men down.  Storm lands a flurry of strikes, a back body drop, and a running leg lariat for 2.  Storm goes back on the attack with a northern lights suplex, but Christian comes right back with a reverse DDT.  Storm turns an unprettier attempt into a single leg crab.  Christian fights to the ropes, rakes storms eyes on the break, and hits the unprettier to pick up the victory in 6:11. (***).

Match #2 

Hurricane & Rosey vs Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak

     

Cade and Hurricane start the match, and Hurricane gets a quick hip toss.  A blind tag to Rosey for a double team hip toss and a diving headbutt.  Cade is able to escape and get a tag to Jindrak for his picture perfect drop kick.  He attempts to irish whip Rosey by the Somoan is too big to move.  Rosey tags out and Hurricane hits a second rope leg drop.  Behind the ref's back, Cade grabs Hurricane's leg to trip him and ram his knee into the ring post.  Jindrak works over the knee and tags out to Cade so he can work over the knee as well.  Hurricane manages to get a drop toe hold and a running uppercut.  Hot tag to Rosey to clean house with a back body drop, scoop slam, and a standing splash.  Jindrak breaks the count, Hurricane clears out Jindrak.  Rosey has Cade up in a fall away slam position, but while the ref is getting the Hurricane out of the ring, Jindrak chop blocks Rosey.  It's enough to get the win since Jindrak knocks Rosey's foot off the rope in 5:01.  (**)

Match #3

Matt Hardy vs Booker T

Matt Fact #1: Matt still has his appendix.

Matt Fact #2: Matt is a fan of miso soup.  

Commentary mentions that Hardy spent the longest of any Raw superstar in the Rumble when he was in fact third.  Matt Hardy mocks Booker's hand looking and head shaking.  Matt gets to the ropes to break an armbar.  Booker shoulder block sends Matt to the outside and allows us to take an early commercial break.  Back from the break the boys are exchanging strikes.  Booker runs into a stun gun and Matt nails a swinging neck breaker and grabs a headlock.  Booker escapes and misses a kick and Matt kicks the ropes into Booker T's little T.  Booker gets back into the only for Matt to stand on his throat. Hardy gets another neck breaker.  Matt lands a second rope leg drop for a 2 count and locks in a full nelson.  Booker rams Hardy into the corner to break free.  They exchange strikes.  Booker T nails a flying forearm, spin kick, and heel kick for a 2 count.  He goes back on the attack with a back body drop, heel kick spinarooni but misses the axe kick.  Hardy gets a side effect for a near fall.  Matt sets up for the twist of fate but Booker shoves him into the ropes for a spine buster.  Hardy crawls to the apron and when Booker heads over to follow up, Hardy guillotines him.  Hardy heads to the top rope but gets intercepted in mid air with a jumping kick to the face for Booker to pick up the win in 9:36.  (***)

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 1/24/2004 & WWE Sunday Night Heat 1/25/2004 Royal Rumble Weekend Edition

 

Check out my companion podcast looking at the weekly Raw/Smackdown and PPV's on the North South Connection.

We are less than 24 hours away from the Royal Rumble, let's check out Spike TV on a Saturday Night

(This screenshot is from the previous week as they did not give Demott and Mathews their establishment shot this week.)

Match #1

The Basham Brothers defend the WWE Tag Team Titles with Shaniqua vs Ultimo Dragon & Funaki

Ultimo Dragon and Danny Basham start.  Danny lands a few strikes, but Dragon comes back with a hurricanrana and stiff kicks to the spine and chest.  Dragon tags in Funaki for a double team elbow.  Funaki lands some kicks til Shaniqua pulls him him off the apron.  Danny tags out as the Bashams combine for a double team stun gun. Doug starts the stomping on Funaki and grabs a neck vise.  He tags Danny back in for more strikes and an arm stretch.  Funaki gets a desperation enziguri. Doug is tagged back in, but Funaki is able to escape for the hot tag.  Dragon nails a flurry of kick to both Bashams.  He rolls up Doug for a two count, followed by a springboard moonsault.  Ultimo sets up for his Asai DDT, but Doug escapes.  The Bashams pull the twin magic switcheroo to get the rollup pin victory in 5:27 (*1/2)

Match #2 

Orlando Jordan vs Matt Longtime

Jordan gets takeover into an armbar, but he transitions into an school boy for a 2 count and right back to the armbar.  Longtime escapes the arm bar for a shoulder block and grabs a headlock take over.  Jordan escapes and hits three arm drags and goes back to the arm drag.  Longtime rams into a turnbuckle and grabs a......you guessed it, an arm bar.  Jordan punches free and nails a scoop slam, flying forearm, two drop kicks, back body drop, Johnson shuffle, and finishes him off with a running powerslam in 5:20, 4:30 of which were arm bars.  This match was Chris Jericho's list of moves come to life. (3/4*)

Match #3

World's Greatest Tag Team Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas vs Rikishi & Scotty 2 Hotty

Rikishi and Haas trade shots in the corner.  Benjamin pulls Haas to safety before he eats a big kick from Rikishi.  We head to commercial as the World's Greatest Tag Team regroups.  Back from break, Benjamin hits Scotty with a snap suplex and after watching the previous match, grabs an armbar for good measure.  Scotty reverses it and they trade athletic reversals unlike the previous match.  Eventually ending with a Scotty flying forearm.  Benjamin dodges a bulldog attempt and Benjamin gets a blind tag, that allows Haas to get the jump on Scotty and work on the arm.  Benjamin gives Haas a little extra stretch on his arm bar behind the ref's back.  Tag back to Shelton for a shoulder breaker for 2.  More focus on Mr. Hotty's arm.  They tag in and out and work the limb over.  Benjamin spits in Rikishi's face and hits Hotty with a tilt-a-whirl slam.  Haas back in but Scotty fights free from his arm bar and is able to tag in Rikishi.  Rikishi lays both opponents out with heavy strikes and a double clothesline.  He lays out Haas with a charging headbutt and a Savat kick.  He tags in Scotty for the W-O-R-M.  Benjamin breaks up the fall.  Rikishi comes in to clear out Bejanmin.  Scotty is landing mounted punches on Haas in the corner, but Haas walks out for a reverse atomic drop.  While Haas still has Scotty held, Benjamin nails him with a super kick.  Haas uses a jackknife cover to get the victory in 7:37. (**3/4)

We're on to Sunday Night Heat live an hour before the Royal Rumble in Philadelphia with Coach and Snow handling hosting duties.

Smackdown's #1 announcer Funaki is here, pulling the C show double header this weekend.  He's reporting outside the room where superstars are pulling their entry numbers for tonight's Royal Rumble.  Mark Henry and his manager Teddy Long come out and they are not happy.  Teddy says, What happened back their was straight haterization, every cracker int eh room drank hater-ade, blatant discimination, you ought to be feeling me being an oriental man.  We will no longer be bamboozled by the man, because tonight Mark Henry will win the Royal Rumble.  Mark Henry screams to a startled Funaki, "Believe That!"

Funaki now checks in on Kurt Angle, asking for an update on his eye injury for Smackdown.  He says he got poked in the eye and couldn't see for a bit.  He won a gold medal with a broken freaking neck, so don't worry about it.  Nothing is going to stop him from winning the Rumble and then winning the WWE title in the main event of WrestleMania.  He isn't just doing it for himself, he's dedicating his win to the brave men and women of the military fighting over seas.  

Tazz and Cole are in the ring and Tazz graces us with his tips to winning the Rumble.

Tazz also picks up Cole and threatens to toss Cole over the top while Cole whines to be put down.

King and JR take over

Match #1

Molly Holly vs Victoria with Steven Richards in a non title match. 

 

Test had kicked Victoria's head off a few weeks ago, cancelling her title match on that episode of Raw.  Why she doesn't get it here, I don't know.  They grapple for control, eventually Victoria gets a side headlock take over.  Molly bridges out of a pin and gets a backslide for 2.  Victoria comes back with a drop kick before Molly can get back to her feet.  Molly sends Victoria head first into the middle turnbuckle.  She follows up with a snap mare and drop kick to the face. Molly digs her fingers into Victoria's face and mouth.  Molly nails a hand spring back elbow.  Victoria is able to escape a head lock with a jaw breaker.  Victoria ties a 2 different pinning combinations to no avail.  Victoria gets fired up a hits a series of clotheslines and a scoop slam.  She lands a standing moonsault for 2.  Molly gets a knee to the stomach and plants Victoria face first into the mat.  Molly heads to the top only to be intercepted by Victoria.  Molly is able to push Victoria off the top before she can super plex her down.  Victoria sweeps Molly's legs which crotches her on the top turnbuckle.  Victoria removes her from the top and plants her with the Widow's Peak for the win over the champion in 4:58.  (**1/4)

Who will win the Rumble and head to Madison Square Garden for WrestleMania 20!?!?