Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 1/3/2004 & WWE Sunday Night Heat 1/4/2004

                                                   

                        Check out the podcast of Raw and Smackdown on the North South Connection!

Josh Mathews and Bill Demott will be doing the commentary on this episode of Velocity and welcome us to 2004!

The only video of this show that I could find had the top caught off.  Don't worry, Josh and Bill were not in a terrible Final Destination style accident.  

Match #1

A-Train vs Funaki

During the introductions, Josh Mathews jokes that this is the 2,385th meeting between to the two.  According to cage match this is their 28th and final meeting, including battle royals and house shows.  Ten of those matches were tag matches.  Of the 15 total televised non battle royals, this is their 8th singles match on Velocity.  Until this point, Funaki had managed to win one bout in the series which was on the 9/17/02 Velocity. 

Funaki kicks A-Train in the legs to break free of a choke slam attempt.  Funaki tries to control the Train with armbars but gets mowed down with a clothesline.  Funaki rolls away from several stomp attempts and exits the ring.  A cat and mouse game begins with Funaki getting the edge when Train gets back into the ring.  He jumps on Train's back and grabs a sleeper hold. Train smashes him into the corner turnbuckles.  A-Train misses a charge and Fuanki gets a roll up attempt for 2.  A-Train recovers with a big shoulder block to a sprinting Funaki.  He immediately follows up with the Train Wreck back breaker for the win a brisk fun 1:16. (* 1/2)  Final head to head record A-Train 7 Funaki 1.

Match #2

Doug and Danny Basham with Shaniqua vs Joel and Jose Maximo 

This match is very hard to writeup with the matching gear and their heads not shown on the screen, I will have the correct participant occasionally when commentary mentions it.  A Basham tosses a Maximo back after a few collar and elbow tie up attempts.  He hits a scoop slam but misses the elbow drop follow up and Maximo is able to scurry away and tag his brother.  Maximo is immediately driven into the corner and the Bashams tag.  A tilt-a-whirl head scissors allows for a tag to Jose Maximo who hits a top rope high crossbody for a 2 count.  Maximo grabs a head lock but the other Basham pulls the ropes down and he crashes to the floor.  Shaniqua gets a few shots in.  Back in the ring Doug Basham gets a leg drop and a hard irish whip.  The Bashams tag with some corner strikes and cheap shots and a headlock.  Jose Maximo gets jawbreaker on Danny to break free and tag out.  Joel Maximo cleans house with drop kicks.  The Maximos attempts a poetry in motion is stopped and caught mid air as one Maximo is slammed on the other.  High leg lariat after a switheroo to win for the tag champs after 4:48. (**1/2)

Jamie Noble is speaking to Nidia backstage.  

Jaime Noble tells Nidia, he doesn't know what Rey Mysterio said to her a few weeks ago on Smackdown, but since it came from Rey, it's a lie.  Nidia doesn't know what to think, because she loves Jaime very much but what Rey said makes a ton of sense.  She feels lost.  Noble can't believe that Nidia would believe a man in a mask over him.  He can't believe how much of his money he has had to spend on doctors only to get no where with her recovery.  Noble says there is a chance that she might not be able to ever see again.  Nidia says no, she will see again. She promises.  Noble says that if you want to promise something, promise you won't get involved in my match tonight.  She agrees.  

Match #3

Jaime Noble vs Brandon Groom

As Noble makes his entrance, Josh Matthews comments on the ridiculousness of not trusting wrestlers in masks.  DeMott says that the real people you shouldn't trust are people who don't speak English.  To start, Noble backs the larger Groom up and sweeps the leg and controls Groom with a headlock.  Groom gets a toss and a drop kick.  Groom tries to control but gets sent into the the turnbuckles hard and Noble lays in stomps in the corner.  Noble hits a suplex and locks in a arm and back stretch.  Groom escapes with a back suplex and follows it up with some clotheslines.  Noble lands a back elbow and attempts a neck breaker but Groom grabs the top rope causing Noble to crash and burn.  Groom gets an Oklahoma roll for 2.  Noble escapes hits his DDT and a dragon sleeper for the submission win in 3:35.  (*3/4) 

Match #4

Orlando Jordan & Shannon Moore vs Akio & Sakoda

Orlando Jordan takes down Sakoda, but Sakoda grabs an arm as they trade holds.  Jordan gets a shoulder block, hip toss, and a head lock takeover.  He tags in Shannon Moore who somersaults over the top rope into a sunset flip for a one count.  Sakoda tags out.  Moore gets a shoulder block a back leg sweep.  Moore goes up and over in the corner and nails a spinning heel kick for 2.  Akio turns a springboard crossbody into a rib breaker.  Sakoda tagged back in to stomp on the ribs, hit a back breaker, and hangs Moore in the tree of woe.  Orlando tries to come into the ring, which allows Tajiri's henchmen to lay the boots in the corner.  Akio hooks Moore in an abdominal stretch.  He sends Moore into the corner and Akio runs up his back and lands on his feet.  He charges again but Moore side steps and hip tosses Akio into the turnbuckles.  Hot tag to Jordan who has drop kicks and back body drops for everybody.  His Johnson shuffle homage gets interrupted and his gets taken out with a little high low from Akio and Sakoda.  Moore breaks up the fall.  Moore moonsault planchas outside onto Akio.  Jordan grabs Sakoda for a running powerslam to pick up the win in 4:57. (**3/4).

Our Sunday Night Heat cold open is a closeup of an ambulance logo with a piece of blue duct tape labeled Stevie Corp.  The camera pulls back reveals that it is not ambulance but a golf cart with the self proclaimed general manager of Sunday Night Heat, Steven Richards sitting proudly in the drivers seat.  Test arrives and he is not pleased.  Richards asks if he needs a ride.  Test does not in fact needs a ride.  He would however like to take Victoria for a ride.  The only reason Richards defeated him last week was because Victoria distracted.  She was in tight spandex, so Test just wanted to go up behind her and say, "yeah baby, it's me Test" while making his "o" face. Tonight, Test is going to beat up Richards so badly in their match tonight that he will never be able to please a women again that's where Test will step in, because once you go Test you forget about the rest.  Richards completely no sells this and says you sure you don't need a ride?  Test gets frustrated and kicks the cart only to hurt his foot and hop off upset.  

Match #1

Test vs Steven Richards with Victoria

On his entrance, Test flexes and licks his bicep.  Victoria gets her own entrance for this match.  Test clobbers Richards from behind while he admires his "Flower" on the ramp.  Test blows Victoria kisses.  Test tosses Richards into the ring and starts raining down fists.  Test locks in an odd for lack of a better term, sideways torture rack.  Richards pushes off the turnbuckles with his feet to escape.  Test attempts a full nelson slam, but Richards slips out of that.  Richards scores with a snap suplex, swinging neck breaker, and a bulldog for a 1 count.  Test takes over but Richards escapes a pump handle attempt, but this time falls victim to the pump handle.  Test ties him in the ropes, Andre the Giant style.  Victoria enters the ring and Test grabs her and plants one on her.  Victoria smiles, rubs his chest and kicks Test square in his quiz.  The referee has freed Richards, who gets a sloppy roll up while holding the ropes to pick up the victory in 3:30. (1/2*)

Match #2

Rico with Miss Jackie vs Brandon Groom

Rico spanks Groom.  Groom grabs a go behind and Rico bends over in a three point stance and grinds his buttocks into Groom's privates.  Rico goes on the attack with fists but falls victim to two hip tosses, scoop slam, and drop kick. Miss Jackie gets on the apron. Brandon Groom heads over to her but is still
able to duck Rico's clothesline attempt.  Groom charges Rico but Rico low bridges him to the outside.  Rico slams his head into the barricade ringside and then drapes him on the apron to kick Groom in his mouth.  Once in the ring again, Rico elbows Groom repeatedly in the head and hits a lifting kick.  Rico hits a sexualized elbow drop and pin cover for 1.  They trade chops.  A step up corner kick to the mush but Grooms down to the mat.  Rico heads to the top for a dive, but Groom gets the knees up. Three separate roll up attempts by Groom fail. Groom hits a spinning powerslam and heads to the top.  He misses a top rope crossbody and Rico finishes him with a devastating neck breaker in 3:48.  (*)

Match #3

Tommy Dreamer vs Matt Hardy

Matt Fact #1: Matt's first job was at a carwash.

Matt Fact #2 Matt is more extreme than Tommy Dreamer.

They trade slaps to begin.  Dreamer gets a scoop slam but Matt Hardy sends him to the outside by the tights and rams Tommy into the ring apron spine first.  Back in the ring, Matt gets a scoop slam, followed by a series of boots to Dreamer's gut.  Hardy heads to the top turnbuckle, but Dreamer pulls his leg and crotches him.  A Hardy back elbow sends Dreamer to the mat so that Hardy can miss a moonsault.  They reset with a strike exchange that Dreamer wins.  Dreamer delivers two separate styles of neck breakers, first swinging and then fall away. Dreamer hits a follow up death drop DDT.  Hardy turns a death valley driver into a side effect for a 2 count.  Hardy grabs Dreamer's kendo stick but misses with it.  Dreamer hits a sit out powerbomb.  Dreamer takes the cane up to the top and show boats to the crowd.  Hardy follows him up there and hits a twist of fate from the top to pick up the victory in 4:26.  (*1/2)

Match #4

Val Venis and Lance Storm wtih three ladies of the night vs La Resistance (Rene Dupree and Rob Conway)

Storm and Conway trade control holds, until. Lance goes up and over and nails a big punch to the face.  Conway scurries away to tag Dupree.  Lance controls until a tag to Val.  Val comes in and gets a scoop slam and they hit stereo elbow drops.  Dupree fires back with chops and forces Venis into the corner for the tag.  Conway is tagged in and connects on a back elbow, scoop slam, and a knee drop.  Val gets the boot up on a charge by Conway. Venis tries to climb to the top himself but gets pushed off by Dupree.  Dupree is tagged in and he exchanges strikes with Venis until Venis gets a half nelson slam. Both men are down.  Val crawls over and tags in Storm.  Storm is a house of fire with clotheslines and drop kicks.  He hits a steamroller and a springboard dropkick.  Dupree breaks the pin attempt.  Lance and Val attempt a double team maneuver but Dupree breaks that up as well.  Storm flips out of a slam attempt by Conway but Dupree grabs his foot from the floor.  This allows Conway to hit a devastating DDT and get the win in 5:43. (**)

Tomorrow night it's Raw in Memphis and Steve Austin is the sheriff!  What will that mean!?

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 12/20/2003 & WWE Sunday Night Heat 12/21/2003

 

If you would like to check out the audio podcast Ruthless discussing the previous click here to access the North South Connection's pod feed.

The weekend kicks off with Velocity on Slammin' Saturday Night.

Match #1

Tajiri vs Paul London (non-title)

Tajiri yanks London down by his hair and then mockingly blows London a kiss.  Tajiri catches a kick attempt by London, but London flips out and gets a crucifix pin for 2.  London attempts a sunset flip for another 2 count.  Paul London hits a headscissors and a spinning heel kick.  Tajiri escapes a suplex and lands a few stiff strikes to the back.  Tajiri grinds London with some heel tactics and locks in a camel clutch.  London stands up out of it and rams Tajiri into the turnbuckles but the Japanese star quickly grabs London for the tarantula.  London lands on his feet on a release German suplex and hits the dropsault.  London clotheslines Tajiri a few times before a climb up enziguri and springboard moonsault for a 2 count.  Tajiri comes back with a springboard back elbow.  London is able to duck the buzzsaw kick and hits a waffle face in response.  A missile drop kick to the back of Tajiri's head causes a stalemate as both men struggle to their feet.  Tajiri gets a crescent kick out of nowhere and follows it up with the buzzsaw kick as the kill shot to pick up the win in 5:33.  (***)

Match #2

Matt Morgan vs Funaki

Funaki starts with a game of cat and mouse, trying to avoid the big fella.  Funaki low bridges the top rope and Morgan spills to the outside.  Funaki hits a baseball slide but it doesn't knock Morgan off his feet and the chase is back on.  The chase is back on til a big boot stops Funaki dead in his tracks followed by a scoop slam.  Josh Matthews call Morgan the blueprint of a professional wrestler, which I believe is the first mention of that nickname on the main roster. He locks in a standing single leg crab which looks zero percent painful.  Josh tells us that he Morgan has defeated Vince Carter, Kevin Garnett, and Elton Brand in basketball at various camps.  Demott could not care less and dismisses this as worthless information.  Morgan gets a corner clothesline and a rope choke.  Funaki attempts a desperation crossbody but gets caught.  Funaki wriggles free and kicks the back of Morgan knee, followed by a drop kick to the face.  Morgan press Funaki off the cover and decapitates Funaki with a clothesline.  Funaki tries to punch his way free from a powerbomb but Morgan powers through and the sit out powerbomb ends it in 2:45 for the Morgan win.  (*1/4)

Match #3

Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli vs Spanky

The action starts before the bell as Spanky gets nose to nose as the teams have been feuding on Velocity as of late.  The Bull grabs a head lock and hits a shoulder block and taunts Spanky for being too small.  An awkward step over attempt on a drop down, so they do it again and Stamboli shakes his leg free from a drop toe hold attempt.  Stamboli pitches Spanky to the outside, but Spanky is right back in for a series of punches.  Stamboli bails.  He comes right back in himself for a charge but Spanky drop toe holds him.  Spanky attacks the knee with strikes and twists and elbow drops.  Spanky gets a drop kick to Stamboli's mush and continues to attack the knee.  The Bull uses his boot to send Spanky shoulder first into the ring post. Stamboli slams Spanky's arm into the post and then a crushing clothesline.  Stamboli has been completely no selling the knee.  It's like that whole segment of the match did not happen.  Spanky tries to fight back but gets cut down.  The Bull military presses him onto the top rope and then flips the cruiserweight back into the ring.  An arm bar is locked in.  Kendrick kicks out and uses several forearm strikes into a spinning head scissors, a spinning back elbow, and spinning heel kick.  Stamboli kicks out of a non spinning pinfall cover.  The Bull dodges an attack in the corner and hits an Impaler DDT to pick up the victory in 4:25.   (*)

Match #4

Akio and Sakoda vs Ultimo Dragon and Kidman

Ultimo Dragon and Akio start the action with trading arm bars.  A sunset flip attempt by Akio and Ultimo Dragon kicks him in the chest and back for a two count.  He tags in Kidman, and Ultimo Dragon does a drop toe hold while Kidman baseball slides, Akio in the shoulder in a double team move.  Akio tags out to Sakoda but the heels double team move attempt is turned into combo head scissors head lock takeover by Kidman.  Kidman sends Sakoda off the ropes, Akio gets a kick to the head to the back through the ropes, which lets the heels hit stereo enziguris upside Kidman's head.  Akio is in for stomps into a seated camel clutch.  Kidman escapes but runs into a spinning heel kick.  Sakoda tags in and puts Kidman in the tree of woe. Sakoda taunts Dragon who takes the bait so Akio can choke away on Kidman.  Kidman hits a desperate drop kick.  Hot tag to Dragon who comes in for a clothesline and a drop kick.  Dragon is held by Akio, but Dragon is still able to hit both Sakoda and Akio with kicks.  Dragon pieces up Sakoda's legs and ribs.  Akio eats a Asai moonsault for a 2 count.  Tag into Kidman but the faces miss a double clothesline attempt.  Sakoda pulls Dragon out.  Kidman tries a springboard bulldog to Akio but Sakoda catches him and plans Kidman with a power bomb.  Dragon is able to get in and break up the fall.  Sakoda drops Dragon on a sidewalk slam so Dragon gives him a spin kick to the back of the head.  Dragon hits a top rope crossbody to the floor on Sakoda.  Meanwhile in the ring, Akio misses a spin kick on Kidman.  A Kidman enziguri turns Akio inside out.  Kidman heads to the top for the shooting star press, Matthews, in a eye rolling comment, says, "Kidman is about to press the R trigger on his Gamecube controller."  Kidman hits it for the win in 5:36. (**3/4)

Sunday Night Heat

Coachman selling a separated shoulder from the Goldberg locker room assault which led to Goldberg being not suspended for 30 days but deactivated for 30 days which everyone knows is way way worse. 

Match #1

Victoria vs Ivory

#1 Contender Match for the Women's Title

Test of strength that Ivory turns into a pin attempt, which Victoria rolls into her own pin attempt.  They roll around the ring trading two counts until Ivory gets a head scissors.  Molly Holly heads out on the stage to observe rocking a Tori from Saved by the Bell look.  Victoria hits shoulder blocks in the corner.  Ivory slips out of a vertical suplex for a roll up.  Ivory grazes Victoria with a drop kick.  Victoria grabs at the ropes to try to get away so Ivory rips her off to pancake slam her.  Victoria bails to the outside to regroup.  Ivory whips Victoria back into the ring by her hair, but gets caught in a powerslam.  Victoria puts Ivory into a surfboard.  Ivory turns a Samoan drop into a rollup attempt. When that didn't work, she tries a backslide pin.  Ivory crashes and burns on a top rope crossbody.  Victoria picks up her carcass and puts her away with the widow's peak in 4:05.  (*1/4)

Molly comes to ring and congratulates Victoria.  Victoria pats the title on Molly's shoulder.  As she goes to exit the ring, Molly cracks her in the back of the head with the belt. 

Match #2

Rosey & Hurricane vs The Shane Twins

Rosey starts with a Shane twin.  Snow and Coach call them the running gag of local competitors being called Babacanoosh.  So these are the Babacanoosh twins who Snow says are cloned from the same petri dish like Dolly the sheep.  Rosey clotheslines him down and lets the twin tag, they other one in, who gets immediately belly to belly suplexed by Rosey.  Hurricane is in for a top rope crossbody for 2.  A twin misses a charge but other twin gets a clothesline on the apron.  They double team Hurricane in the corner.  Twin suplexes Hurricane across the ring.  The twins tag and hit a double clothesline, followed up by snap suplex and a neck vice.  Hurricane reverses a suplex.  Both tag out.  Rosey clotheslines, shoulder blocks, sidewalk slam, scoop slam, a huge leg drop.  The twins miss a double clothesline, only for Rosey to double clothesline them and hits a spinebuster.  Hurricane mounts Rosey's shoulders who is sitting on the top turnbuckle and splashes the prone twin for the win in 4:15.  (*1/2)

Earlier today, Test is leering at Victoria stretching for her match.  He starts talking to himself about how he wants to get her to replace Stacy.  He says of course she would want him. Everybody wants him.  Richards comes up for behind upset that he would talk that way about his flower, Victoria.  He says that he has someone who wants to be with him and if Test wants to try to get her, he can try, but he'll see what happens.

Match #3

Test vs Steven Richards

Test begs Richards to hit him.  Richard obliges.  Test hits a short arm clothesline and stomps.  Richards tries to get mounted punches in the corner twice but Test tosses him off.  Richards attempts a bronco buster but Test moves and Richards busts himself.  Test begins laying in the punches, followed by a scoop slam.  He misses an elbow drop, but Richards can't take advantage as he runs into a sidewalk slam.  Test gets caught on a corner charge and Richards hits a bulldog.  They both escape each others finisher slams.  Test misses a boot and gets hung up on the top rope.  Stevie takes too long to capitalize and gets rammed into the corner.  Test tries a running powerslam but Richards escapes and slides down Test's back for a roll-up to get the upset win in 2:27. (*)

Match #4

Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak vs Lance Storm & Val Venis with ladies.

This entire match Snow call them Jade and Cindrak.  Val Venis and Garrison Cade start out.  A collar and elbow tieup turns into a shoving match.  Cade gets heavy forearm strikes and stomps.  Cade argues with the ref after being in the ropes allowing Val Venis to get a few clotheslines, a back elbow and a scoop slam.  Lance Storm is tagged in for a springboard ax handle and a northern lights suplex.  Cade backs into the corner for a tag.  Lance Storm gets an arm drag and tags in Val for a top rope ax handle, European uppercut and chops.  Lance Storm back in now for a scoop slam and double team elbow drops.  Storm foils Cade's attempt for a cheap shot from the outside but falls victim to a Jindrak baseball slide.  Cade then rams Storm head and shoulder first into the post.  Back in the ring, Cade gets a hammerlock on Storm and rams him shoulder first into the turnbuckle.  He knocks Val off the apron adn tags in Jindrak for a picture perfect drop kick.  Cade tags back in for an arm bar.  Storm breaks free and gets a jumping leg lariat and makes the hot tag.   Val wrecks shop with clotheslines, a back body drop, gut wrench powerbomb, and a half nelson slam.  A fisherman's suplex to Jindrak is broken up by Cade.  Lance Storm gets a blind tag and nails a top rope crossbody for a near fall.  He tries a springboard sunset flip that gets reversed by Jindrak.  Cade assists with the pin from the outside to gain leverage but doesn't actually get ahold of Jindrak's hands until 2.75 of the 3 count so it loses some of it's effect. The heels win in 6:30.  (**1/2)

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 12/13/2003 & WWE Heat 12/14/2003 pre Armageddon edition

 

Check out the audio Podcast Ruthless on the North South Connection, for a breakdown of the week's Raw and Smackdown.  

We start the weekend with Velocity on Saturday Night on Spike Tv.  

Match #1

Full Blooded Italians (Chuck Palumbo & Nunzio) with Johnny 'The Bull" Stamboli vs Paul London & Spanky

Paul London and Nunzio start out.  They come nose to nose and Nunzio slaps Nunzio in the face and retaliates with a punch to the face to knock down Nunzio.  Nunzio tags Palumbo in who over powers London in the corner.  London fights out with a head scissors take over, but quickly mowed down with a clothesline.  Tag to Nunzio, who immediately goes down via drop toe hold that allows London to tag to Spanky.  A Russian leg sweep/clothesline double team by the faces.  Spanky hits a dropkick.  Johnny the Bull gets on the apron after a Spanky head scissors, which lets Palumbo sneak in to decapitate Spanky with a big boot. Palumbo tagged in a nails a spinal tap kick and puts in a chin lock.  He tags in Nunzio.  Nunzio and the Bull stretch Spanky's legs around the ring post while Palumbo stomps him.  The ref misses a blind tag and Spanky pays for it by falling victim to a Samoan drop.  Spanky dodges a charge in the corner and gets tornado DDTed.  Both men tag out.  London gets a back body drop, spinning heel kick, and a waffle face to Nunzio.  Palumbo breaks up the fall.  A drop kick disposes of Palumbo.  Stereo northern lights suplex to Nunzio transitioned into a double gut buster.  Stamboli pulls London off the cover from the floor.  A missile drop kick by Spanky to Palumbo and then planca to Stamboli on the floor.  London is held up by Nunzio to get Whack Kicked by Palumbo for the FBI to pick up the win in 6:45.  (***)

Match #2

Ultimo Dragon vs Tony Santarelli

Ultimo Dragon gets a headlock to start.  Quick slaps by Dragon but Santarelli catches him with a back elbow.  Santarelli is quickly sent flying with a leg sweep, head scissors, and a plancha to the outside.  Back in the ring for a scoop slam and a half crab.  Santarelli misses an enziguri.  Ultimo Dragon gets kicks in the corner.  Santarelli gets a sunset flip but Dragon rolls and kicks Santarelli face off for a two count.  Dragon gets caught with his head down but several strikes by Santarelli are blocked each one is returned with a kick.  Dragon nails Santarelli with an Asai DDT to win in 3:22.  (*1/2)

Match #3

Orlando Jordan vs Kanyon

Kanyon is aggressive at the bell with strikes and a headlock.  Mathews and Demott discuss that these two have battled several times on Velocity with Jordan winning every single time.  They talk about Kanyon's success in WCW and the Invasion, but since returning from injury, Kanyon can't put it all together.  Jordan gets a drop toe hold, fireman's carry, shoulder block, and a hip toss.  Kanyon stun guns Jordan off the top rope and gets a swinging neck breaker.  Kanyon gets a jumping corner bulldog for 2.   After the kick out, Kanyon grabs a chin lock.  Jordan breaks free and gets a flying forearm, several drop kicks, back body drop, and the Johnson shuffle series of punches.  Kanyon comes back with a side Russian leg sweep, but gets caught trying to go up and over in the corner for a running power slam with gets the pinfall for Jordan in 5:05.  (*1/2).

Match #4

Tajiri with Akio and Sakoda defends the cruiserweight title vs Billy Kidman

Billy Kidman starts with float over into head scissors followed by a baseball slide.  Akio distracts the ref as Sakoda takes out Kidman with a clothesline.  Back in the ring, Tajiri gets a scoop slam, knee drop, and locks in a cross face.  Kidman fights out but gets caught on Tajiri's shoulders and the champ stun guns Kidman on the top rope.  Tajiri snap mares the challenger and catches a head lock.  Kidman gets Irish whipped but reverses it.  Tajiri grabs the ropes to stop short and Kidman crashes and burns on a drop kick.  Tajiri misses a hand spring elbow.  Kidman's drop kick is successful this time.  He follows it up with a back elbow, clotheslines, spring board, and a bulldog for 2.  Tajiri dodges a clothesline and hits a kick to the mush for 2. Kidman gets a rollup for a 2 count.  Tajiri kicks Kidman into the corner so he can apply the tarantula. Tajiri sizes Kidman up for the buzzsaw kick but he misses and eats an enziguri for his trouble. He goes for the shooting star press but Akio pulls him down to crotch Kidman on the top turnbuckle.  In the ring with the referee busy with Sakoda, Akio attempts to spin kick Kidman but hits Tajiri on accident.  Kidman nails a BK bomb for a near fall.  Billy Kidman hurricanranas Tajiri over for a cover but Tajiri bridges out and buzzsaw kicks Kidman to gain the pinfall in 6:27. (***) 

It's the pre Armageddon edition of Sunday Night Heat.  

Teri interviews Trish Stratus and Lita before their match with Chris Jericho and Jericho dubbed Eric Bishoff's battle of the sexes.  Trish is hurt that she fell for Chris because she believed him.  Lita says now we know the truth.  Christian says he was rounding 3rd, heading home, but the truth is, he never even picked up a bat.  We don't want the match, but we'll do our best and go down swinging.  

Matt Hardy is in the locker room enjoying what is happening to Lita.  He says she deserves all of this for not keeping V1 #1 in her life.  Maven buts in saying, "Oh you really taught her a lesson, huh."  Matt Hardy thinks Maven might be being sarcastic and Matt is not a fan of it.  Maven tells, Hardy that he thinks he is a big man but he's actually a punk coward.  Hardy suggests that they go into the ring a settle it.  So this match appears to be happening in the future. 

Match #1

Jon Heidenreich vs Rico with Miss Jackie

Al Snow and Johnathan Coachman throw it to Jr and the King for commentary for this match. King and JR shit on the Heat team like the heels they are.  Rico go behind, and Heidenreich gets a back elbow.  Rico jumps into Heidenreich's arms Bugs Bunny style and plants a kiss on the big fella. Heidenreich complains to the referee but nowhere in the rule book does it say that you can't kiss your opponent.  Rico gets caught and takes a reverse atomic drop for his troubles and gets clotheslined out of the ring.  Heidenreich follows him outside and to throw Rico back into the ring for a shoulder block and a clothesline.  Miss Jackie distracts Heidenreich on the apron, and Rico immediately hits a neck breaker to win in 1:30.  (1/2*)

Evolution is getting hyped for the night.  Flair wants Orton to win the Intercontinental Title, Batista to destroy Shawn Michaels and choke him out, and Triple H to bring home the World Heavyweight Championship.  Triple says that tonight is new beginning for Evolution.  They take it to the next level.  Will they?  Find out by listening to the podcast!

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 12/6/2003 & WWE Heat 12/7/2003

 

For the audio podcast of this week's Raw and Smackdown click here.

It's the first Velocity of December

Match #1

Akio with Tajiri vs Funaki

Funaki drop kicks Tajiri out of the ring at the bell. He follows that up with a series of drop kicks to Akio, followed by 5 mounted punches in the corner.  Akio slides out from under Funaki and drops him face first on the top turnbuckle.  Akio chokes with his boot, before locking a sleeper hold on to Funaki.   Funaki counters to a backslide and then a school boy attempt until a jumping leg lariat mows him down.  A rope aided leg choke is applied by Akio and then grabs a key lock.  Funaki no sells a corner run up and hits a bulldog.  Akio misses a heel kick which lets Fuanki connect on an enziguri.  Funaki hits a hits a high cross body for a 2 count.  Tajiri grabs Funaki's leg, then Funaki gets caught up in the ropes on a back body drop botch.  Funaki gets kicked in the head on the pin attempt.  Akio then pins Funaki with his feet on the ropes. The real sloppy ending hurt this one in 4:37. (*3/4)

Match #2 

Kanyon & Chad Collyer vs Spanky & Paul London

Chad Collyer and Spanky start out trading grapples.  Spanky gets a couple of arm drags.  Kanyon yanks Spanky down by the hair from the apron.  Kanyon comes in on a tag and immediately eats a jumping leg lariat.  London is tagged in for a double hip toss and double fist drop.  Kanyon punches himself free and tags Collier in.  He gets a baseball slide and a leg lariat.  Tag to Spanky.  Japanese arm drag, standing moonsault for 2. Kanyon pulls the rope to send Spanky crashing to the floor.  Collyer gets a back suplex and tags in Kanyon.  Kanyon holds a delayed vertical suplex and then transitions a back breaker into a stretch.  Kanyon chucks Spanky into the turnbuckles. Kanyon attempts a top rope fireman's carry, but Spanky wriggles free and powerbombs Kanyon.  They both tag and Paul London cleans house with a drop kick to Kanyon, and simultaneously hits a moonsault to Collyer froa  2 count.  Kanyon attacks London from behind but Spanky takes him out with a missile drop kick.  Spanky misses a baseball slide and Kanyon lays him out with a huge punch on the outside.  Kanyon heads back to the apron and Spanky goes into the ring to hit the double team Get Well Soon with London to get the win over Collyer at the 7:04 mark.  Collyer's nose gets busted hard way on it. (**1/4)

Match #3

Orlando Jordan vs Greg Groothuis

Greg Groothuis gets a shoulder block and Jordan gets an arm drag.  They repeat the sequence, this time with an Orlando Jordan drop kick chaser.  Groothuis gets punches in the corner, an irish whip, and a corner splash.  OJ comes back with a jaw breaker, flying forearem, drop kick, back body body drop, a flurry of Johnson shuffle punches, before a mistimed neck breaker for the three count in 3:34. (1/4*)

Match #4 

Rhyno vs Bradshaw

Bradshaw gets a head lock take over, hard irish whip, a shot to the spine, as the match spills outside.  Bradshaw bangs Rhyno's head into the steps and they re enter the squared circle to exchange strikes.  Rhyno hit some shoulders in the corner and a short arm clothesline for 2.  Rhyno gets a snap mare into a headlock.  Bradshaw fights out and gets a DDT, quickly followed up with running clotheslines and suplex.  Rhyno attempts a cross body but Bradshaw catches him for the Last Call fallaway slam.  Rhyno pulls ref in the way of a clothesline from hell but gets the big boot for a pinfall at 5:46.  Rhyno does gore Bradshaw after the match during the the celebration. (*1/2)

Sunday Night Heat

Match #1

Victoria with Steven Richards vs Ivory

Victoria dominates a test of the strength into a version of a surfboard.  Ivory eventually works her way free, flip Victoria off of her and then gives her a giant swing.  Ivory drops Victoria face first on the top turnbuckle for snake eyes.  Ivory gets caught with a powerslam, and Victoria follows that up with a rope aided spinning leg drop.  Ivory gets a foot on the ropes to break the fall.  Victoria hits a back breaker, a tilt a whirl slam, and scoop slam.  Ivory moves out of the way of a moonsault and a drop kick to the face from Ivory afterwards.  Ivory gets a hurricanrana and then boots Ivory to the floor.  Stevie climbs on the apron, and Ivory plants a kiss on him.  Ivory turns around into the widowpeak as her horniness was her undoing.  I mean remember he insationableness is why D-Lo Brown brought her to the company years ago.  Victoria cover at 4:44 to win. (**).

Match #2

The Hurricane & Rosey vs Chad Collyer & Greg Groothuis

Collyer and Hurricane start out and trade grapples.  Collyer gets a hip toss.  Hurricane head scissors, Collyer to ret up a reverse unprettier.  He tags in Rosie so they can perform a double hip toss and Rosey hip tosses Hurricane on top off Collyer.  Rosey squishes him with a leg drop.  Collyer tags in the big man Groothuis, but he gets over powered by Rosey with clotheslines, heavy strikes in the corner and a belly to belly to suplex.  Tag to Hurricane for a top rope leg drop for a two count.  Hurricane whips Groothuis who almost hit Collyer on the apron.  The big fella stops short to avoid trucking his partner but Hurricane uses the distraction for a rollup attempt.  The kickout send Hurricane into Collyer's range for a cheap shot with a kick.  Collyer tags in and puts on a back stretch.  Hurricane gets a slam to escape and tags back in Rosey.  Rosey is a flurry of clotheslines, back body drop, and neck breaker.  He double clotheslines both local competitors and scoop slams Groothuis.  Hurricane leaps from Rosey's shoulders as the Tribal Chief is say atop the highest turn buckle for a splash to with in 4:49.  (*1/2)

Match #3 

Jon Heidenreich vs El Conquistador

El Conquistador appears to be portrayed by Nick Dinsmore. Don't use cagematch to verify as I am the one that suggested him.  But if you can find some other evidence please do so in the comments.  El Conquistador starts with some forearm strikes, dodges a big boot, and hangs Heidenreich on the top rope stun gun.  El Conquistador climbs to the top but gets caught and beeled across the ring.  Heidenreich scoop slams him for a two count.  Heidenreich starts beating on the Conquistadors leg.  Our Mexican friend gets loose and takes Heidenreich down with a chop block.  He follows with a drop kick and a Russian leg sweep.  A big boot by the big man ends the flurry.  He adds two giant clotheslines and a back body drop.  Heidenreich goes for a cover after a corner charge clothesline but El Conquistador gets his foot on the ropes.  An End of Days slam finishes in 3:30. (*1/2)  During Heidenreich's celebration Steven Richards appears out of nowhere to clobber him with a few chair shots in revenge for the shoot broken neck Heidenreich gave him last week.  

Match #4

Mark Henry with Theodore Long vs Maven

Before the match starts Teddy Long wants to holla at us playas.  He tells us that Mark Henry is the most dominant man in sports entertainment and the strongest man in the world.  Now stand up and show your respect to Mark Henry.  Any man in the back, a brown man, a green man, even a light skinned brotha. Get out here right now.   

Maven comes out and is immediately over powered.  Henry gets a giant shoulder block and clubbing blows.  Maven gets beiled across the ring and flattened with a pop up slam.  Henry misses a leg drop.  Maven hits him with two drop kicks which don't send Henry to the mat.  Henry brushes aside a third one.  Maven tries mounted punches in the corner.  Henry just throws him out of the ring.  Maven quickly scales the turnbuckles for a missile drop kick for 2.  Maven gets caught on the 2nd rope cross body and gets erased with a World's Strongest Slam for the win in 2:28.  (*1/4).

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 11/29/2003 & WWE Heat 11/30/2003

 

Check out the audio podcast breaking down Raw and Smackdown as well.  

What better way to recover from Black Friday shopping, than watching Velocity on Saturday night.  

Match #1 

Orlando Jordan vs Kanyon

The crowd chants Kanyon sucks before bell.  Kanyon backs him in the corner and lays some strikes into Jordan.  Jordan goes up and over and hits a hip toss, drop kick, spinning powerslam and an arm bar.  Kanyon stops Jordan's mounted punches with an eye rake.  Kanyon gets a second rope Russian leg sweep.  He gets a vertical suplex, several elbow drops and northern lights suplex for 2.  Kanyon locks in a neck vise.  OJ fights out and hits a series of flying forearms and the Johnson shuffle.  A spinning powerslam allows OJ to climb the top rope.  Kanyon attempts to suplex him off the top but OJ casts him off and hits a top rope crossbody to pick up the win in 4:31. (**3/4)

Match #2

Nunzio vs Funaki

A test of strength is teased but Nunzio gets a knee to the stomach.  Funaki fires back with a hip toss and a series of arm drags.  Nunzio catches Funaki with a dropkick to the gut on a crossbody attempt.  Nunzio grabs a headlock.  Funaki escapes, Nunzio misses a drop kick. Funaki gets a backslide attempt.  Nunzio nails the Sicilian Slice 2nd rope leg drop for a two count.  He locks in a second headlock and transitions to body slam.  Funaki knocks Nunzio off the top rope to crotch him and follows that up with a bulldog and then an enziguri for 2.  Funaki connects with a top rope crossbody but Nunzio rolls through for two.  Funaki slips on the ropes attempting an up and over.  Nunzio grabs Funaki legs and slams him off the turnbuckle.  Nunzio puts Funaki on the top but falls victim to a tornado DDT for the 3 count.  (***)

Match #3

Sean O'Haire vs Gary Schippreit

Schippreit hits a drop kick that O'Haire shrugs off.  O'Haire beils him across the ring and nails him with a spinal tap kick.  He follows up with a snap mare and a second spinal tap kick.  Schippreit gets a desperation jaw breaker, but gets smeared by a ridge hand.  O'Haire nails some strikes to the back and then a back stretch.  O'Haire throws Schippreit on his back and ends him with a widow maker in 2:28.  (*1/4)

Match #4

 FBI (Johnny The Bull Stamboli & Chuck Palumbo vs Paul London & Spanky)

This tag match stems from the chaos of last week's Velocity.  C Show Continuity BABY!

Palumbo and Spanky start things off.  They trade strikes, a badly which Palumbo comes out on top of.  Spanky gets a corner run up moonsault, but gets quickly mowed down by a clothesline.  Johnny the Bull Stamboli tags in for a short arm clothesline.  Spanky gets an enziguri and is able to tag in London, who hits a high crossbody.  London escapes a gorilla press, flips off of The Bull right into a big boot from Palumbo.  London gets wishboned around the ring post and stomped.  Palumbo hits London with a running punt kick to the gut.  Stamboli tags in for a few stomps and quickly tags back out.  Palumbo puts on a neck vise, London almost escapes to make the tag but is thwarted.  Palumbo misses a corner charge and cracks his shoulder on the post but is still able to cut off the tag.  London hits a drop sault and they both tag out.  Spanky cleans house with a head scissors to Palumbo and a launched drop kick to Johnny the Bull.  Spanky heads to the top rope but Palumbo pulls him down to crotch him on the turnbuckle.  Paul London gets a Russian Leg Sweep from the second rope to Stamboli.  Palumbo crushes London with the whack kick.  Spanky hits a top rope drop kick to Palumbo.  Spanky manages to splash Stamboli on his landing from the dropkick.  Brian Hebner doesn't make the count because he is trying to clear the carcass of Paul London.  When he does make it over to make the count, it is such a close nearfall that the time keeper erroneously rings the bell.  Hebner waves it off. Spanky goes for sliced bread but gets caught and falls victim to the assisted Sicilian slice leg drop by the FBI to get the win in 6:52. (***1/4).

Sunday Night Heat

Al Snow says his favorite part of Raw Roulette the past the week was the catch the midget match and that little people equal big ratings. 

Match #1

Rene Dupree with Rob Conway vs Tommy Dreamer

Rene Dupree gets a head lock and then does his frolic dance.  Dupree misses a leap frog because Dreamer stops short and punches the Frenchman in the face.  Dreamer gets a drop toe hold and an arm drag.  Dupree gets s scoop slam but misses an elbow drop.  Dreamer baits Dupree into a charge and low bridges him over the top.  Tommy Dreamer baseball slides both members of La Resistance. Once back inside, the ring, Conway pulls the ropes down which causes Dreamer to spill to the outside.  Dupree gets a neck breaker and a full nelson.  Dreamer reverses an Irish whip into a powerbomb.  Dupree misses a charge attempt and falls victim to a back body drop and neck breaker for a 2 count.  Dreamer punches Conway off of the apron and turns around into a fisherman's suplex for the win in 3:25. (*1/4).

Match #2

Steven Richards with Victoria vs John Heidenreich

Richards gets a headlock but John Heidenreich comes back with several shoulder blocks.  Richards tries to bail but is brought back in by Heidenreich, who picked him up like a baby.  On the way back into the ring, Victoria grabs Heidenreich's leg which lets Richards hit him with a running knee to the ribs.  The general manager of Heat throws Heidenreich into the ring post, followed by stomps and a series of arm wrenches and bars.  One sequence Stevie yells out that it is a Steviewara arm bar.  Heidenreich powers up out of the hold directly into an electric chair but drops Stevie right on his head and neck.  Stevie doesn't really move after that and Heidenreich pins him in 3:18. Stevie Richards in an interview on the Place to Be Podcast  (1 hour and 53 minute mark) confirms he broke a bone in his neck on the move. (1/4*)

Clips from Goldberg on the Maury Povich Show which show Goldberg meeting an 8 year old superfan with a condition called Progeria a genetic condition that causes rapid aging.  People who suffer from Progeria usually only live until their mid teens. Goldberg lets him meet some of the other stars of the movie "The Longest Yard" that Goldberg is filming.  The young boy meets Burt Reynolds and Bob Sapp and gets to have fun on set.  A nice little feature and good job, Goldberg giving back.

Match #3

Devon Dudley vs Mark Jindrak

The match begins with some collar and elbow tie ups and go behinds.  Jindrak gets a shoulder block which Devon follows up with an arm drag.  Jindrak does a leg sweep and Devon catches an arm bar followed by a shoulder block.  Jiindrak hits one of his special high drop kicks, followed up by elbow drops and synchs in a head lock.  Devon breaks free and tries a sunset flip and cradle pin to avail.  Jindrak clotheslines Devon to the mat and grabs another headlock.  Jindrak attempts to splash in the corner but misses and hangs himself in the ropes.  Dudley gets a series of clotheslines, neck breaker, flying forearm, and reverse headlock slam.  Devon runs into a back elbow and a big boot. Jindrak climbs to the top and hits a flying clothesline to get the win in 5:18.  (*3/4) It seemed like Devon might have kicked out.  Afterwards, Jindrak eyes Devon's tag title that is one a chair in the time keepers area.  

Match #4

Maven vs Rob Conway with Rene Dupree

 

Rob Conway gets some quick jabs.  Maven catches a kick and started punching back.  Conway misses on an up and over attempt.  Maven nails a drop kick.  He misses the follow up crossbody and flies through the ropes to the outside.  Conway knees him on his way back into the ring which sends Maven flying into the barricade. Once back in the ring, Conway hits a running knee and diving punch of some kind, before grabbing a head lock.  Maven attempts some rollups to get out of it.  Once back up on their feet Maven hits a clothesline, shoulder block, and spin kick for 2.  Maven heads to the top rope but Dupree grabs his leg, which allows Rob Conway to hit a swank top rope corkscrew neck breaker to win.