Week 13 has been the end of the season for decades here in HTPB and it still was for Big Cat Crushers and Eh Bid Dude as they were eliminated from playoff contention. It's starting to settle out as the last week of the regular season is upon us.
SMBR established themselves as the team to beat in HTPB this year as he ended the season and career of Big Cat Crushers. The fifth highest score of the week was not enough for Big Cat as the twenty year run of bad luck continued. In frightening news for HTPB, Lamar Jackson has been kind of shitty for a month and in 4 out of the last 5 weeks, he's broken 130 points with a low score of 109 or as Dollars would call it a monster week. SMBR just needs to beat Dollars to clinch the first round bye, so allow me to be the first to congratulate SMBR on the first round bye.
"Big Cat still had a good week."
-Cory
Eh Bid Dude welcomed a child into the world this week and was beaten by one. EBD season was put to rest this week barring a miracle of epic proportions. EBD was able to make it close due to his kicker and defense combining for 30 which EBD has said this season means your team is shitty. BG didn't listen to a wise sage who said Minshew Mania was a better option than Teddy Two Gloves and narrowly survived his ignorance. BG is one of two teams that can have the first round bye. Eh Bid Dude did clinch the highest place of his AOE Human Centipede buddies. Live look at the playoff race for AOE this year. Enjoy the sidelines fellas.
(photoshop credit: Nick Webb)
(hilarious idea credit: me like fucking always)
ODS kept his slim playoff hopes alive (literally 0.13%) as he defeated BL. Bricklayers finally got the game from Javonte Williams that he traded Cooper Kupp for, as Williams scored 26 of Bricklayers' 92 points. (Kupp has pedestrian 20.45) Bricklayers is one of two teams that can still get toiletries as he tries to complete the toilet, champion, toilet sandwich.
The closest game of the week saw Rush'n Missiles finally get into the playoffs for the first time in career as he edged out The Collegians. Without his four Packers, RM still managed to pack TC's shit. The Collegians were unfairly put behind the 8 ball with their players not scoring every touchdown that occurred in the NFL. Both of these two teams are locked into the playoffs and can't get the bye. Taysom Hill played the shittiest 22 point game of all time.
It seemed like earlier in the week that Dollars would be getting Kamara, Brown, and Cooper back. Nope. The Shoes took advantage of playing Dollars, a secured the victory which puts him at the precipice of a playoff berth. Led by his defense and Sony Michel being the lead back for a week, Los Zapatistas scored 130 points to get the win. Dollars hopes to finally get healthy the final week as he looks to keep SMBR out of the number one seed but will try to do so without Antonio Brown who has been suspended for brain damage.
Hardcore Cabinet kept his playoff hopes alive but lost two more players to injury. BNE clinched a playoff spot with the loss. Justin Herbert lost the duel to a returning Kyler Murray and set up Hardcore Cabinet to control their own destiny. BNE thought Gallup would be the X-Factor but it turns out the X-Factor was Urban Meyer hating James Robinson and not giving him any carries until the game was over. Hardcore Cabinet lives to fight another day in a defacto playoff game vs the Shoes.
Power Rankings (which team is the best)
1. SMBR 116-53
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2. BG 108-61
3. TC 107-62
4. HC 104-65
5. CB 101-68
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6. BNE 91-76
7. BCC 88-81
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8. LZ 81-88
9. BL 72-97
10. TS 69-100
11. IS 68-101
12. ODS 65-104
13. EBD 65-104
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14. $$ 46-123
Tied for unluckiest are HC/BCC/BL who each are 4 spots below where they are projected, and ODS is now the luckiest being 3 spots higher.
Record against the mean which is based purely on schedule. Basically the bad beat meter and which teams got screwed out of the playoffs. Tie breakers by total points
9-4 HC, BG, TC, CB,
8-5 SMBR, BCC,
7-6 BNE, LZ
5-8 BL, IS, TS
4-9 ODS, EBD
2-11 $$$
This analysis shows that BCC in his final season has been screwed as he is one of the 7 best teams by either metric. TS and ODS should be thanking their lucky stars to be alive in the last week of the season and if either of them makes the playoffs it won't be deserved and will be stealing Big Cat's valor.
Weekly pick em. HC went 6-1 (will be updated once yahoo does the math) next week can be done at this link.
Final week projections: Yahoo projects Tinker Stinkers will miss the playoffs, SMBR gets the bye, and $$$ gets the Toilet.
The site that simulates the rest of the season 10,000 times projections these playoff percentages.
Bye SMBR 90.05% BG 9.95%
Toilet $$$ 90.78% BL 9.23%
Playoffs
Tinker Stinkers 70.05%
Los Zapitistas 66.62%
Hardcore Cabinet 63.21%
ODS 0.13%
Next Week's Schedule
Games that can affect who makes the playoffs
HC vs LZ (Biggest game of the season)
TS vs BL
ODS vs IS
Bye and Toilet Games
BG vs RM
SMBR vs $$$
Seeding
BNE vs TC
Good luck to everyone but Sergio!!!
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