This week Jeremy's Brother was able to beat Blue Gatorade, or somebody at least. Whoever the hell he played, he won. His 4th such win this season. JB has taken the horseshoe that was in Dan's ass and shoved it up his own. JB was able to pull it out with some Monday Magic by that beautiful bitch Jimmy Garoppolo. Blue Gatorade has many losses this season but this one has to hurt the most. His playoff hopes are dangling like Justin Fields' shoulder. Jason was led by Tyler Bass' huge day to start his holiday week off right. I would like to point out that I went this entire write up without mentioning Jason's height or rather lack thereof. Dammit!
Bay-Bay's got another cold dose of facts this week, as his team continues to fall towards toiletries. Jamaal Williams channeled his inner Jerome Bettis and scored 3 short TD's to lead Hardcore Cabinet to the victory. When the highest two scoring players in the game are the Lions' backup running back and Danny Mother Fucking Dimes, it's weird game. Bay-Bay's didn't lose anyone to injury during the game so he can count that as moral victory along with the fact that he has a tragic number of 2 over ODS to avoid toiletries and a large postal bill. Hardcore Cabinet manages to be respectable this season despite having 5 guys suffer fantasy season ending injuries.
Ogre's Death Squad invited the Collegians over for some chili, a season eliminating loss, and the usual reverse cowboy. It was nice for a family member to be able to pull the plug after a long happy season that existed. The biggest news coming out of this game is the debate as to whether the Collegians are good now. After not breaking 100 all season, he has done so three weeks in a row. His title repeat chances depend on him winning as many games as possible as he will likely lose all tie breaks. The remaining schedule of Bricklayers, Hardcore Cabinet and Bay-Bay's is a rough end of the year stretch overall and remains to be seen if the damage done early in his season can be overcome.
Los Zapatistas was able bring George Kittle back from the dead to come from behind and get a big win. Los Zapatistas has an easier schedule the rest of the way which means he has to play the other two wolves. Can his prince Christian Watson keep up the TD output? The playoff chances for Italian Stallions are as dim as usual. Italian Stallions most likely must win out against a semi difficult schedule the rest of the way out.
Dollars got his whopping 4th win this season without breaking 100 points. RM streak of never winning a playoff game and never bringing joy to anyone he meets continues as he was eliminated from playoff contention yet again. When Marcus Mariota's 18 points leads the game in scoring you know if was a shit show. Dollars hopes to ride his group of injured and suspended players in the playoffs and his unbelievable luck has allowed him to do so. Dollars did allow Cory to have a moment with one of his millions of kids before ending his season. (Side note, this dude is very lucky a cop or a someone else with a gun didn't drive by and try to stop this). The Dollars lucky streak continues as he has currently picked 5 of the 7 playoff teams and 2/3 of the stolen valor playoff teams.
Big Nasty Express gagged on Monday Night and may have choked on their playoff hopes. Rondale Moore scored negative points and then got injured, Colt McCoy was Colt McCoy, and McCaffery was a normal player. BNE should have set his lineup to be handled by a computer because his human brain hasn't made good decisions. Like should I rely on second half of the year, Kyler Murray. SMBR all but locked up a playoff spot with the victory. He doesn't say much but he keeps taking people down. If I was betting in Vegas, I think SMBR would have interesting odds to make a bet on.
Bricklayers has been redefining the record books for wins, point totals, and being a pompous ass this season. Bricklayers defeated EBD to clinch a first round bye and give EBD a hard luck loss. HE is the one who decides how people should perceive him. It is HE and HE alone who knows that it is on you the listener to not take his overly verbose explanations of everything and his holier than thou attitude as smug but as a chance to listen to great wisdom. It is time you peasants took the gifts of HIS lessons and improved yourselves to hope to be half the man that HE is. HE brags about HIS charity contributions without prompting so that you may attempt to help others as HE. So remember this Thanksgiving to say thanks for HIM, and good tidings upon his name. In yours travels over the next few days, ask yourself is this how HE would want you to act. WWBLD.
BL, EBD, SMBR have 100% probability of the playoffs.
$$ 96%
HC 94%
JB 75%
TC 50%
LZ 36%
BG 19%
BNE 16%
IS 13%
BB 0.32%
RM/ODS 0%
Congratulations to this week's winner LZ! Of course massive chuckles at ODS for going 1-6 with his only victory being picking against himself. HC maintains a slight lead in the overall standings. Get your picks in early because the games start earlier this week.
Week 12 Preview
Making the executive decision to have two games of the week this because it's my column and I can do whatever I want with it.
#3 SMBR vs #4 Dollars
Blue Gatorade vs Bay-Bay's
(This gets co-game of the week billing because it is an loser leaves town match, I can't foresee a playoff scenario for either with a loss here)
HC vs JB
BNE vs EBD
BL vs TC
RM vs LZ
ODS vs IS
Happy Thanksgiving and enjoy week 12. Please text me individually what you are legit thankful for in HTPB for next week's write-up.
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