Week 8 has established the have and the have nots and even some of the haves, have a lot more.
The Collegians defeat Dollars
A man hides under the covers from the number 100.
Dollars has faced an opponent who scored over 100 four times this season and he has lost three of those times. Cade Otton and his 25 points were able to pick up for a sub par Burrow game who thankfully for the Collegians connected to Jamar Chase for his lone TD. Cooper Kupp returned to the lineup for Dollars and got into the end zone. The silver lining for Dollars, is that losing with 117 points will lower how lucky he has been this season.
Italian Stallions defeats Big Nasty Express
A train robbery led by Mario and Luigi on horseback.
Big Nasty Express put up their second cripplingly shitty week destroying any chance of any tie breaker win for the Express and their multiple decade odyssey for a championship. The Loins got back on the winning side after a blip loss last week, however they will fall a spot in the standings. Jordan Love got injured an apparently the rest of his team took him to the hospital as single digits ruled the day for the Express with only Marvin Harrison rocking a number in the tens place. The Stallions got a boost with Tua's return who helped stabilize his quarterback position and gave Achane some room to work. Italian Stallions will try to lead a playoff push and maybe win money for the first time since 2011. You know what else hasn't happened since 2011.....
Eh Big Dude defeats Ogre's Death Squad
Ogre's Death Squad left two twenty point scorers on the bench but it wouldn't have mattered as EBD dropped 146 points on him. Jalen Hurts scored 4 TD's, 3 of which were on the ground while ODS scored 2 TD total. Eh Big Dude keeps trying to get closer to week 10 for his grand plan. Now that his team of traded for injured players are healthy can they stay that way? Since being voted the trick or treat team most likely to make the playoffs, ODS has lost three in a row, and failed to break 90 points.
Stabmybalzrepeatedly defeats Bricklayers
An evil clown with a red shirt with a K on his shirt smashes through a brick wall.
After ensuring not having the first winless season in league history, Bricklayers went back to their losing ways. The Allen/Kincaid super stack came through but it wasn't enough as SMBR rolled. Goff had an insane stat line, 85 passing yards with 3 touchdowns and 20 fantasy points. Bricklayers is trying to avoid trying to get his name on the toilet trophy for the second time in 5 years. And 3rd overall.
Hardcore Cabinet defeats Los Zapatistas
A man chases a pack of wolves off his porch with a broom.
Hardcore Cabinet won this battle of the last two former champions and swept through the Wolves this season. Hardcore Cabinet has scored the most points in the league the each of the last two weeks. HC got 8 touchdowns compared Los Zapatistas 5 in hard luck loss. Caleb Williams was traded Josh Downs for 8 points. Is it a good strategy to be tied to two rookie QB's and trying to guess which one will suck less? This may be what unties the shoes. Don't look know but Hardcore Cabinet is going to be in the mix for back to back champions. I'm sure he'll never mention that if he goes back to back. Not even once.
Tinker Stinkers defeat Bay-Bay's
(A small man attacks a mountie with smoked meats)
Bay-Bay's took his 4th straight loss as it is beginning to look like BB's streak of never having made the playoffs in his career looks to continue. CJ Stroud has been no bueno lately, which will happen when all your receivers are hurt. Patrick Mahomes has been passed around this season but he has settled in with the Stinkers with his first multiple TD pass game since week 3. The Stinkers have brought together Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt to saddle up once again to ride together. Can either of these teams make a run to the playoffs sitting two games back from the final spot? Both of their schedules ease up a bit the rest of the way.
Rush'N Missiles defeat Blue Gatorade
A Get back coach yells at a teenager.
This game existed and Rush 'N Missiles picked up another lucky win. Blue Gatorade has only broken 100 points once this season. The only thing that can be done for this team is to make Blue Gatorade comfortable and give the other flavors of sugary sports drinks time to say their goodbyes. RM traded away Jalen Hurts just in time for him to finally out perform Baker Mayfield so he can continue to get less out of the position that he should. RM has 4 straight games against teams in the top 6 of the standings so he might find himself, getting the fuck back in the standings.
1. LZ 91-13
He's been a bulldozer all year.
2. EBD 76-28
3. HC 72-32
4. IS 67-37
These teams are really good, at this point it would be a big upset if somebody not in the top four wins the Big Cat.
5. BB 55-49
Much like being the lone Canadian, BB is the lone team in this tier and has been by far the unluckiest.
6. $$ 51-53
7. TC 50-54
8. RM 49-55
There records may be winning in the standings but have been lucky to be 5-3
9. BNE 43-61
10. TS 41-63
11. ODS 40-64
12. SMBR 37-67
13. BL 36-68
They have point totals in the 700's and losing records. The playoffs will be a long shot.
14. BG 20-84
How the fuck does he have two wins. This team is one of the shittiest in league history.
Game of the Week
#1 Los Zapatistas vs #4 Eh Big Dude
#2 HC vs #14 BL
#9 ODS vs #13 BG
#8 BB vs #6 $$
#11 SMBR vs #5 TC
#3 IS vs #7 RM
(Winner takes the Mike Johnson Cup)
Toilet Bowl Game of the Week
#12 Big Nasty Express vs #10 Tinker Stinkers
Enjoy the Week.
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