Sunday Night Heat Review 9.3.2000

 

                                                WWF Sunday Night Heat 9/3/2000 review

 

We are six days past SummerSlam and the march to Unforgiven is on although no matches have been announced during the first week of shows. Our announcers are Michael Cole and Kevin Kelly.  They are excited that the New York Mets are first in the National League East today.

Too Cool’s music hits and out comes the aforementioned tag team although we are informed that it will be Grand Master Sexay in a singles match.  Cole calls him Grand Master Sexy, and the extra “A” really helps to keep a chill from running down your spine, which happens when Cole pronounces it correctly yet somehow very incorrectly for consumption.  The Grand Master will battle The Goodfather from the Right to Censor accompanied by Steven Richards and Bull Buchanan. 

Grand Master Sexay vs The Goodfather

Grand Master gets the early advantage moving quickly around The Goodfather while the announcers convince us that SummerSlam was the greatest SummerSlam of all time.  At this point it is legitimately in the conversation.  The crowd is chanting “Save the Hoes”, much to the Goodfather’s dismay because he believes gardening should be done with your bare hands to become one with Mother Earth, apparently.  The crowd legitimately gets behind a Sexay hope spot that Goodfather cuts off.  Steven Richards’ facial expressions both positive and negative really enhance the match.  Scotty 2 Hotty pulls the top rope down to cause Goodfather to plunge out of the ring and the crowd pops for the babyfaces unprovoked cheating.  Too Cool was so over in 2000.  It’s amazing how fast and how big they got over. 

               Sexay tosses Goodfather back into the ring, applies the goggles and hits a dropkick.  This reminds Michael Cole that the struggling Yankees should fire Joe Torre.  Who within two months would be unceremoniously…… crowned the World Series Champions for the third straight year and three out of four.  I would hate to be Cole’s personal assistant.  Dude has really high standards.

               Steven Richards jumps back up on the apron and distracts the referee, in order for….Scotty 2 Hotty to interfere.  Richards distracts the ref so long that Scotty can get in a bulldog, his goofy worm running man, and the 4 hops while the crowd chants letters.  Right before he hits the chop, referee Jack Doane grabs him and tosses him aside.  This distraction allows Bull Buchanan, who I forgotten was at ringside, to come in and hit a scissor kick on the Grand Master, which Goodfather follows up with a leg drop for the pin. 

The Goodfather defeats Grand Master Sexay with a leg drop after Bull Buchanan interference at 4:10

 

Coming up next: It’s Kane.  We are told, “Who knows what he is going to do?”  Will he do cartwheels? Bake a cake? Run for mayor?  The possibilities are endless.

 

We get a video package of some of the shenanigans WWF superstars have been up to this week outside of Raw and Smackdown.  WWF Superstars took on Michael Bolton’s Bombers in a charity softball game in the Durham Bulls stadium, in one my favorite sentences I have ever written. 

Players that I caught in the clip or were interviewed: Team WWF: The Dudleys, Victoria, D-Lo, Chaz, Coach, Dean Malenko, Pete Gas, Jerry Lawler, The Kat, Howard Finkel.  Michael Bolton’s Bombers included Michael Bolton of course, Duke basketball coach, Mike Krzyzewski, and ESPN SportsCenter anchor and former Melrose Pool Boy, Charlie Steiner.  From the clips, Chaz legged a single into a double and D-Von throws in a strange sidearm fashion into the infield.  Both teams seem to say that they lost but many heels accuse Bolton’s team of cheating.  Classic Bombers. 

 

Highlights of Radio WWF from the week at WWF New York in the heart of Times Square.  The show is hosted by Michael Cole and Mick Foley.  The guests include a phone in from The Rock, Trish, Chyna, and Too Cool live in studio.  Foley dances with Too Cool which I’m sure was some riveting radio.

 

Off to the racetrack as NASCAR driver Hermie Satler, raced the SummerSlam car with the APA working as his pit crew.  They assumed beer would be the high performance liquid to add to the engine.  Hermie politely declines.

 

Out comes Kane, and we aren’t getting a cake.  He tells us that he has always been a monster.  That he wears his mask because he doesn’t want to have people stare at him.  Everyone wears a mask and he hates everyone.  Someone wears a handsome, eyebrow raising, catch phrase saying mask and that is the Rock.  Kane should be WWF champion but his brother interfered and Kane is coming for both of them. 

              

               WWF promo of a brawl breaking out at beauty pageant, where Miss Connecticut beats up Miss. Georgia.  Ah… the pettiness. 

 

               Crash Holly vs The Big Bossman

               The announcers tell us that this match was setup by Commisioner Foley because Bossman attacked Crash while he was trying to talk to some ladies.  This was never shown but the announcers are acting like we did.  Don’t know if this was cut from the version that I saw or that it was never shown.  If anyone knows please let me know. Bossman comes out second with a microphone and proceeds to tell Crash that woman don’t want him because he is small and that they only want big men like him.  The match is short and only really features punches and kicks with Bossman dominating until Dean Malenko of all people comes out and tosses the nightstick to Crash who wallops Bossman with it.  Crash makes the cover for the win.

               Crash Holly defeats Bossman via nightstick shot at 2:58.

 

               We are now shown a week in review package focusing on how the Love Triangle of Triple H-Stephanie-Angle has become a Love Pentagon to include Eddie Guerrero and Chyna. 

T ‘n A with Trish Stratus vs APA

It’s main event time.  Some back and forth action until T ‘n A takes control. After Faarooq gets beat down for a minute or so, Bradshaw gets the hot tag and clears house for awhile until Albert nails him with a big boot.  Trish hops up the apron and the Dudley Boys come running in and hit a 3D on Bradshaw, in retaliation for APA costing the Dudleys, their match vs Kai En Tai on Smackdown.  It wasn’t personal it was business as Kai En Tai paid for protection. The Dudleys have officially taken in personally and T ‘n A gets the win.

 

T ‘n A defeat the APA after a 3D from the Dudleys at 4:14

 

Overall:  We had three matches, none longer than 5 and a half minutes, a promo that wasn’t anything we hadn’t heard before, a video package of what happened this week already, and a video package of stuff that has no effect on anything with the storylines.  But guess what.  It was fun I enjoyed it.  Especially the softball stuff for some dumb reason.  The opening match was built strictly on characters and not in ring action, and it worked because all of the characters were over.  The second match seems to be leading to something, so it gives me a reason to watch further, and the seeds of an APA vs Dudleys rivalry are planted. This show was entertaining and for a C level show, it accomplished its goal.  On the Sunday Night Heat scale, I give it 6.5 fireballs out of ten. 

 

COVID-19 and the summer without sports

    It has been a long strange summer without sports to watch.  We haven't had the NBA playoffs.  We haven't gotten to ride the daily marathon of baseball.  Over the past few years, my sports watching has greatly decreased.  I have four kids and although I have watched a lot of youth sports, my time to watch live sporting events has greatly decreased long before the pandemic. (That is documented here in an earlier blog post http://mattferrellblogs.blogspot.com/2017/10/sports-juggling.html) 

    Some sports have returned.  NASCAR, golf, and UFC don't interest me. So I haven't spent any time watching those events.  What I have to ask myself is, "What have I done with the extra time?"  I have burned through shows that my wife and I had saved on our DVR that we said we would get to eventually.  Apparently the summer of COVID is that eventually.  I have spent much more time outside.  Many of the yard projects that I would said, I would get to when eventually, planting a garden, trimming trees and bushes, planting grass in formally barren patches of the yard, have been completed.  

    I have missed sports greatly, but it seems like my overall life has been better without them.  I have gotten many thing accomplished.  Such as writing this blog post because google informed me that if I didn't add new content that I would lose my sponsorship.  Speaking of which, please visit the companies websites that are supporting my writing and give their wares a view.  

    Despite the improvement of functionality, I can't wait for sports to return.  I want to hear the return of squeaking sneakers, the crack of the bat, the pop of the pads.  I know that seeing much of the data on COVID that we can't make sports return while this virus rages on, so if you like me, want to get back to sports and much less productive life, please socially distance, please wear a mask.  Think of the mask like a dress code rule.  The more this thing is contained before a vaccine is created the sooner we can have more sports and less yard work.  Do your part, if not for your own health or your neighbors, but so come fall I can watch sports on the weekend instead of raking leaves.  

PLEASE! I'm tired and want to watch somebody else physically work.  

Follow me on twitter @Ferrellcomedy  and post feedback below.  

The Night the Line was Crossed

I am a big professional wrestling fan.  I have watched hours upon hours of wrestling mainly from the WWE.  Fans have always seemed over the moon over ECW.  I have never seen any of it other than little clips that the WWE would run during highlight packages.  I would see the ECW wrestlers either before or after their ECW run in WCW or WWF.  I have not been impressed with them for the most part.  I don't get it.  How did these guys get so big and capture the imagination of fans and become a legitimate national promotion form tiny building in the Northeast.  The website placetobenation.com has begun a podcast series going through the ECW product starting with 1994 and I wanted to join in and keep my thoughts here.

Sal Bellomo vs. Mr. Hughes w/ Jason

Sal Bellomo was a jobber in the 80s for WWF if I remember correctly.  Mr. Hughes was bodyguard in the WWF right before this.  Bellomo comes out dressed like a Roman Soldier with a sack of toys that he is throwing into the crowd.  I don't get it and Joey Styles gives zero explanation for this other than it makes Sal happy.  Good for you Sal.  The world needs more giving. Mr. Hughes is dressed exactly the same as I remember him, but sloppilier.  This a bunch of punches and kicks.  It's not good and the crowd is not into it.  What I really want to discuss about this match is the manager, Justin. That's his name Justin.  No last name. No nickname.  It's not even a cool name.  It's just Justin.



I mean look at this guy.  He has a flat top with a mullet.  A sports jacket with no shirt on underneath and sunglasses in a dark arena.  I hate and love him at the same time.  AND HIS NAME IS JASON! THAT'S IT!!

The match was boring but maybe it was because I was trying to figure out this Jason guy the entire time.  He tripped Bellomo during his comeback allowing Hughes to hit a sidewalk slam for the win.

The Sandman and Tommy Cairo vs The Rocking Rebel and The Pitbull in a double dog collar match.

Jason is back out with Rocking Rebel and The Pitbull in a different outfit. Which means I will rooting for them to win and also lose because I don't know what to do about Jason other than follow him.  The Sandman is the only guy I recognize and this becomes an issue for me because the combination of the chaos, the far camera shot, and me not knowing who is who leads to me be really lost on which team is winning this match.  They fight all over the arena.  They pummel each other and Jason has little involvement and my heart aches.  Eventually Sandman and Cairo win with a double pin on somebody and then the losers go on the attack afterwards.  It's chaos and I am lost.  I think I may need to just copy that last sentence to use elsewhere in this review.

The Bruise Brothers: Ron and Don Harris vs The Public Enemy: Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge

My initial thoughts on this match were dread because I hated both of these teams during their future incarnations in WWF and WCW.  Plus no Jason.  So goes my first ECW match without Jason.  These guys also brawl around the arena the hit each other with everything they can get their hands on.  The Bruise Brothers beat the hell out of the Public Enemy the entire time.  I enjoyed the Public Enemy getting beaten because they have cost me many hours of bad matches.  After being pummeled the entire match Public Enemy hits a Harris Brother with a 2x4 and gets the pin.  If the goal of this match was to make the Harris' look lame for not being able to handle one tenth of what the Public Enemy could take that it achieved its goal.  I might have liked this a little more if it wasn't directly after the previous tag match which seemed exactly the same.

Tommy Dreamer vs Jimmy Snuka

Snuka is really old here and is lead to the ring by a manager whose name I didn't quite get but he had a lot of them so this dude is doing some rich guy gimmick.  When he first came out with the bad lighting I thought it was the Dr of Style Slick so it was quite a let down it was Generic Four Names.  Tommy Dreamer looks like a Great Value American Males Buff Bagwell.  Snuka stalls forever.  I mean almost ten minutes of yelling at a fan and then Dreamer going to the fan to get cheers, rinse, repeat.  Snuka demolishes Dreamer and then hit the Superfly Splash and Dreamer kicks out.  This pissess off Snuka so he hits two more before pinning him and then again after the bell.  He also beats up the referee and the commissioner.  Joey Styles is shocked but he shouldn't be because the guy is a murderer.  What's a little assault.    Dreamer is bleeding from the mouth and Generic Four Names did nothing.

Kevin Sullivan and the Tazmaniac vs The Original Sheik and Pat Tanaka

I know who all four of these guys are so I could follow our third chaotic brawl all over the arena tag team match.  However this was the worst one of the four.  Sheik is super old here and can barely move.  His brawling with Sullivan struggles as both guys kind of go through the motions.  Tanaka and Tazmaniac seem to be in submission holds when the camera pans back to them and then they randomly release the hold.  Eventually Sheik throws a fireball which lets Tanaka pin Tazmaniac and nobody seems to care or think that was dastardly.  Sullivan and Sheik keep fighting for a bit until they stop and just walk to the back.  This sucked.

Mike Awesome vs JT Smith

I remember Awesome in the dying days of WCW and short run during the invasion.  I have no idea who Smith.  This was a few minutes of an amazing squash.  Awesome is killing Smith with powerful looking moves and then Awesome dives over the top rope and crushes Smith against the protective barrier.  Awesome gets rolled up for a flash pin out of nowhere.  I was shocked.  Awesome gets upset and pastes the referee with two powerbombs.  This was fun and it was the first thing tonight, I would like to see more of the story as it goes on.

The graphic says this is Terry Funk defending the ECW title vs Sabu and Shane Douglas in a three way dance.  Paul Dangerously who is Sabu's manager runs out and attacks Douglas' manager Sherri Martel.  The match starts and I keep waiting on Funk to come out and join in but he doesn't.  Eventually Styles mentions that if this match doesn't have winner in fifteen minutes then Funk will join in and make it a three way. I have never seen something like that before.  Sabu tries to have a wrestling match and it is no good.  So Shane Douglas tries to go out on the floor and brawl with Sabu and it is also no good.

Fifteen minutes goes by and Funk joins the match.  Sabu botches and table spot and gets helped to the back.  So it's one on one for awhile.  It's a brawl through the crowd.  This has gotten repetitive.  It doesn't mean anything anymore.  Half of the card has gone through the crowd.  Eventually Sabu comes back and may be legitimately injured because everything looks difficult for him and he has been out of the match for twenty minutes.  Or it could just be that Sabu sucks.  Both are equally possible.

Funk goes up to the announce booth and calls out both Shane and Sabu to come fight him and calls them a litany of names.  Only problem is that they can't hear him.  It's not going through the arena only the TV audience.  Two guys called the Rotten Brothers come out and beat up Shane and Sabu.  The Rotten Brothers look like two Brian Nobbs from the Nasty Boys.  Sabu fights with them to the back and eventually returns.  All three guys are exhausted which is most understandable for Douglas the match meanders and is sloppy.  Terry Funk beats up the referee with ten minutes left for no reason.  In the final minute Douglas hits Sabu with a cross body which also catches Funk.  Then Funk tries to pin both of them back and forth but their is no referee because he beat him up for being alive or something.  The time limit thankfully expires.

This match was something.  It was chaotic and wild.  There were lots of parts that didn't make sense as they tried to give Funk and Sabu time for breaks.  Kudos to Douglas for going the whole hour.  However if you want to do a 1 hour time limit draw make sure it has three people who can go for an hour reasonably.  If this was condensed into an hour and more importantly had the undercard not stolen the thunder from the main event, this could have been something.

This whole show was not good. I will watch the TV leading up to the next supershow and see if it helps make sense of this.  I am lost and not entertained one show in.


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A Reason to Watch Every Bowl Game V: Playoffs and more

It is that time of year when people all over the world will gather together with loved ones to think back on the previous year, share fellowship and food, exchange gifts, and enjoy the holidays.  But please remember the reason for the season.  Meaningless college football bowl games in nearly empty stadiums in shameless attempt to make money for every person involved except the players!  

Now many people don't care about any games outside of the four team College Football Playoff. A few may care about the other top ranked teams in the New Year's Day games.  Those people are doing it wrong.  You don't know true sport happiness unless you are enjoying midweek afternoon games between a mid-major school you weren't aware played FBS football and a mediocre team from a power conference.   These are the true great games.  These are the best part of December, so in your face Santa Claus. I am here to show you how to really each and every bowl game this year. So just follow along and you'll reach full sports Nirvana.  

You can read part one of this series at this link.  Part two is available here. Part three here. Part four here

Do you like college football? Do you like country music? Do you like mortgages?  Let's get your weekend started right, with the Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl.  



Who is playing: The Auburn Tigers finished 5th in the SEC West after obtaining a 7-5 record will battle the Purdue Boilermakers, the third place finisher in the Big Ten West (6-6).  

How to watch: Friday, December 23 1:30 ESPN

Where: Nissan Stadium, Nashville, Tennessee. 

Gambling info: Auburn -3.5 o/u 55.5

Why you should watch:  Tyler Trent.  The Purdue student and super fan has been inspirational during his fight with terminal cancer.  Please take the time to read his message in his own words.  Tyler was given a ride to the game with the Indianapolis Colts, who also play in Nashville this weekend.  His story will be focused on during the game and he surely will get significant camera time.  Purdue and Auburn have been up and down all year.  At their best, they beat the PAC-12 (Auburn over Washington) and Big 10 (Purdue hammered Ohio State) champions. At their worst, they lost to Eastern Michigan (Purdue) and 2-6 in conference Tennessee (Auburn).  If the best versions show up this could be a fun game.  

Do you miss the Big East and also enjoy sleeping bags?  Enjoy the Camping World Bowl!

Who is playing: The sixteenth ranked West Virginia Mountaineers who used an 8-3 record to finish fourth in the Big 12 matchup with the twentieth ranked Syracuse Orange who went a surprising 9-3 and finished second in the ACC Atlantic.

How to watch: Friday, December 28th 5:15 ESPN

Where: Camping World Stadium, Orlando, Florida

Gambling Info:  Syracuse -2 o/u 66.5

Why you should watch:  If you miss the days of the old Big East then this game is for you.  Neither team makes geographic sense to their current conference so they will be used to the long trip down to Orlando for the Camping World Bowl.  Star West Virginia quarterback Will Grier is skipping the game to prepare on for the NFL draft.  This means Jack Allison gets his first career start. Allison has thrown 10 passes in his entire career so you are guaranteed to see the best and worst game of a guys career at the same time.  It's like the nexus of the college football universe.  Each team scored over 40 points a game so if Allison can handle the spotlight, the scoreboard could catch on fire.  

Spend your Friday night remembering the Valero Alamo Bowl!



Who is playing: The thirteenth ranked Washington State Cougars went 10-2 and finished second in the PAC-12 North take on the twenty-fourth ranked Iowa State Cyclones (8-4) to land in third place in the Big 12.

How to watch: Friday, December 28th 9:00 ESPN

Where:  Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas

Gambling info:  Washington State -2.5 o/u 57.5

Why you should watch: Washington State is coached by Mike Leach, who thinks he is a pirate which is not the most hilarious thing about him.  Leach is worth paying attention to any time the camera finds him.  Whether he is wearing a fake moustache during a post game interview,


or fixing the college football playoff issues or just being hilarious.  The game itself is battle of Washington State's high octane offense and Iowa State's tough defense.  It's a great way to end your Friday before a huge day of action on Saturday.  

Okay friends, take a deep breath and make sure your remote has fully charged batteries because are going to have three games going at once.  Let's start off with the Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl!  



Who is playing:  The tenth ranked (9-3) Florida Gators squad finished third in the SEC East and where given the opportunity to take on another college football blueblood in the seventh ranked Michigan Wolverines (10-2) who placed second in the Big Ten East.

How to watch: Saturday December 29, noon ESPN

Where: Mercedes-Benz Stadium, Atlanta, Georgia

Gambling info: Michigan -5.5 o/u 51

Why you should watch: It's our first game in the "New Year's Six" of the best matchups of the bowl season.This could be Jim Harbaugh's last game as coach at Michigan, as rumors are swirling about a return to the NFL.  The khaki wearing coach has returned Michigan to respectability but hasn't been able to get over on Ohio State as of yet either. Michigan has three starters leaving the team before the Peach Bowl to prepare for the NFL, could their coach join them after the game?  If you are tired of seeing all of these teams flinging the pigskin around the field, then this is the game for you.  The quarterbacks average less than 200 yards passing so the clock will be running frequently which means this game may end earlier to give you even more time to focus on the other two bowl games that are kicking off early Saturday afternoon.

If you're allergic to peaches you can watch the Belk Bowl instead and nobody is allergic to Belk, whatever the hell that is.



Who is playing: The third place team in the ACC Coastal, the Virginia Cavaliers (7-5) will face off with the fourth place team from the SEC East, the (7-5) South Carolina Gamecocks.

How to watch: Saturday, December 29th noon ABC

Where: Bank of America Stadium, Charlotte, North Carolina.

Why you should watch:  Virginia hasn't won a bowl game since 2005.  The Cavaliers have had their best season in a few years but have lost three straight.  South Carolina was up and down all season and lost to every ranked conference foe that they played.  This game features two offenses that can really move the ball so it the perfect ying to the Peach Bowl's yang.  If you want to see teams march down the field or you don't have cable, this is the noon game for you.

You thought all of the games left would feature the big boys of college football, didn't you.  Well have no fear if you like mediocre mid major schools going at it then have I got the game for you.  It's the Nova Home Loans Arizona Bowl!



Who is playing: The Arkansas State Red Wolves (8-4) finished second in the Sun Belt West will take on the Nevada Wolf Pack (7-5) which placed second in the Mountain West Western division.

How to watch:  Saturday, December 29th 1:15 CBS Sports Network

Where: Arizona Stadium, Tucson, Arizona, home of the Arizona Wildcats

Gambling Info:  Nevada -1.5 o/u 56.5

Why you should watch:  If you want to keep the Arizona Bowl around next year, you need to watch this game.  The first two editions were not televised nationally. The first year of it's four year historic run featured two teams from the Mountain West because they could not get enough bowl eligible teams from Conference USA or the Sun Belt.  This is Nevada's second appearance in the Nova Home Loans Arizona Bowl making them the kings of the worst bowl.  What this bowl is going to be is better to watch than then another hour of analysis before the two College Football Playoff games kick off later today.  I'll take any real game action over any previewing of games. Except this one.  This preview you are reading is amazing and your life won't be complete if you don't read it.

So you are stickler and like your bowl games to determine a champion?  May I present to you the Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic!



Who is playing: The number two team in the nation, the ACC champions, owners of an undefeated 13-0 record, the Clemson Tigers meet the (12-0) Notre Dame Fighting Irish who are ranked third in the country.

How to watch: Saturday December 29th 4:00 ESPN

Where: AT&T Stadium, Dallas, Texas, home of the NFL's Dallas Cowboys

Gambling info: Clemson -12 o/u 56.5

Why you should watch:  This game is the 1st semifinal to determine the national champion featuring two unbeaten teams.  If that doesn't rev your engine, and you need something goofy to pay attention to, keep your eyes peeled for cups of urine on the sideline.  Three Clemson players have been suspended for the game for testing positive during their NCAA mandated drug tests.  See if Clemson fans are passing cups of their drug free but loaded with alcohol urine down to the sideline to keep the team eligible for the National Championship game if Clemson wins.  Notre Dame didn't lose any players to drug suspension but had several players test positive for holy water and Irish stereotypes.

I guess since we have watched all of these game to this points we might as well check out who else is going to play for a national title.  It's the Capital One Orange Bowl!



Who is playing: The defending national champion, Alabama Crimson Tide, went 13-0 to get the number one ranking and SEC championship take on the Big 12 Champion, Oklahoma Sooners who finished 12-1 to earn the number four seed.

How to watch:  Saturday, December 29th 8:00 ESPN

Where: Hard Rock Stadium, Miami Florida, home of the NFL's Miami Dolphins.

Gambling Info:  Alabama -14, o/u 76.5

Why you should watch:  The quarterbacks finished in the top in the Heisman Trophy voting.  Runner-up Tua Tagovailoa is coming off an injury in the SEC championship game against Georgia, but Jalen Hurts, who led the Crimson Tide all of last year until being benched for Tua in the title game, saved the day for Alabama.  Heisman Trophy Winner Kyler Murray, is also a top MLB draft pick of the Oakland Athletics and is expected to join the A's in spring training this year.  If Murray ends up being a great baseball player as well, he could go down as the best 9th pick in the MLB draft ever.  Other top players taken with the 9th pick all-time are Kevin Appier and Barry Zito.  Will a team draft Tua Tagovailoa or Jalen Hurts and convert them to second baseman?  I think it is more likely than several members of the terrible Oklahoma defense are drafted as professional bull fighters due to their prowess in "ole" tackling.



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