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Josh Mathews and Bill Demott will be doing the commentary on this episode of Velocity and welcome us to 2004!
The only video of this show that I could find had the top caught off. Don't worry, Josh and Bill were not in a terrible Final Destination style accident.
Match #1
A-Train vs Funaki
During the introductions, Josh Mathews jokes that this is the 2,385th meeting between to the two. According to cage match this is their 28th and final meeting, including battle royals and house shows. Ten of those matches were tag matches. Of the 15 total televised non battle royals, this is their 8th singles match on Velocity. Until this point, Funaki had managed to win one bout in the series which was on the 9/17/02 Velocity.
Funaki kicks A-Train in the legs to break free of a choke slam attempt. Funaki tries to control the Train with armbars but gets mowed down with a clothesline. Funaki rolls away from several stomp attempts and exits the ring. A cat and mouse game begins with Funaki getting the edge when Train gets back into the ring. He jumps on Train's back and grabs a sleeper hold. Train smashes him into the corner turnbuckles. A-Train misses a charge and Fuanki gets a roll up attempt for 2. A-Train recovers with a big shoulder block to a sprinting Funaki. He immediately follows up with the Train Wreck back breaker for the win a brisk fun 1:16. (* 1/2) Final head to head record A-Train 7 Funaki 1.
Match #2
Doug and Danny Basham with Shaniqua vs Joel and Jose Maximo
This match is very hard to writeup with the matching gear and their heads not shown on the screen, I will have the correct participant occasionally when commentary mentions it. A Basham tosses a Maximo back after a few collar and elbow tie up attempts. He hits a scoop slam but misses the elbow drop follow up and Maximo is able to scurry away and tag his brother. Maximo is immediately driven into the corner and the Bashams tag. A tilt-a-whirl head scissors allows for a tag to Jose Maximo who hits a top rope high crossbody for a 2 count. Maximo grabs a head lock but the other Basham pulls the ropes down and he crashes to the floor. Shaniqua gets a few shots in. Back in the ring Doug Basham gets a leg drop and a hard irish whip. The Bashams tag with some corner strikes and cheap shots and a headlock. Jose Maximo gets jawbreaker on Danny to break free and tag out. Joel Maximo cleans house with drop kicks. The Maximos attempts a poetry in motion is stopped and caught mid air as one Maximo is slammed on the other. High leg lariat after a switheroo to win for the tag champs after 4:48. (**1/2)
Jamie Noble is speaking to Nidia backstage.
Jaime Noble tells Nidia, he doesn't know what Rey Mysterio said to her a few weeks ago on Smackdown, but since it came from Rey, it's a lie. Nidia doesn't know what to think, because she loves Jaime very much but what Rey said makes a ton of sense. She feels lost. Noble can't believe that Nidia would believe a man in a mask over him. He can't believe how much of his money he has had to spend on doctors only to get no where with her recovery. Noble says there is a chance that she might not be able to ever see again. Nidia says no, she will see again. She promises. Noble says that if you want to promise something, promise you won't get involved in my match tonight. She agrees.
Match #3
Jaime Noble vs Brandon Groom
As Noble makes his entrance, Josh Matthews comments on the ridiculousness of not trusting wrestlers in masks. DeMott says that the real people you shouldn't trust are people who don't speak English. To start, Noble backs the larger Groom up and sweeps the leg and controls Groom with a headlock. Groom gets a toss and a drop kick. Groom tries to control but gets sent into the the turnbuckles hard and Noble lays in stomps in the corner. Noble hits a suplex and locks in a arm and back stretch. Groom escapes with a back suplex and follows it up with some clotheslines. Noble lands a back elbow and attempts a neck breaker but Groom grabs the top rope causing Noble to crash and burn. Groom gets an Oklahoma roll for 2. Noble escapes hits his DDT and a dragon sleeper for the submission win in 3:35. (*3/4)
Match #4
Orlando Jordan & Shannon Moore vs Akio & Sakoda
Orlando Jordan takes down Sakoda, but Sakoda grabs an arm as they trade holds. Jordan gets a shoulder block, hip toss, and a head lock takeover. He tags in Shannon Moore who somersaults over the top rope into a sunset flip for a one count. Sakoda tags out. Moore gets a shoulder block a back leg sweep. Moore goes up and over in the corner and nails a spinning heel kick for 2. Akio turns a springboard crossbody into a rib breaker. Sakoda tagged back in to stomp on the ribs, hit a back breaker, and hangs Moore in the tree of woe. Orlando tries to come into the ring, which allows Tajiri's henchmen to lay the boots in the corner. Akio hooks Moore in an abdominal stretch. He sends Moore into the corner and Akio runs up his back and lands on his feet. He charges again but Moore side steps and hip tosses Akio into the turnbuckles. Hot tag to Jordan who has drop kicks and back body drops for everybody. His Johnson shuffle homage gets interrupted and his gets taken out with a little high low from Akio and Sakoda. Moore breaks up the fall. Moore moonsault planchas outside onto Akio. Jordan grabs Sakoda for a running powerslam to pick up the win in 4:57. (**3/4).
Our Sunday Night Heat cold open is a closeup of an ambulance logo with a piece of blue duct tape labeled Stevie Corp. The camera pulls back reveals that it is not ambulance but a golf cart with the self proclaimed general manager of Sunday Night Heat, Steven Richards sitting proudly in the drivers seat. Test arrives and he is not pleased. Richards asks if he needs a ride. Test does not in fact needs a ride. He would however like to take Victoria for a ride. The only reason Richards defeated him last week was because Victoria distracted. She was in tight spandex, so Test just wanted to go up behind her and say, "yeah baby, it's me Test" while making his "o" face. Tonight, Test is going to beat up Richards so badly in their match tonight that he will never be able to please a women again that's where Test will step in, because once you go Test you forget about the rest. Richards completely no sells this and says you sure you don't need a ride? Test gets frustrated and kicks the cart only to hurt his foot and hop off upset.
Match #1
Test vs Steven Richards with Victoria
On his entrance, Test flexes and licks his bicep. Victoria gets her own entrance for this match. Test clobbers Richards from behind while he admires his "Flower" on the ramp. Test blows Victoria kisses. Test tosses Richards into the ring and starts raining down fists. Test locks in an odd for lack of a better term, sideways torture rack. Richards pushes off the turnbuckles with his feet to escape. Test attempts a full nelson slam, but Richards slips out of that. Richards scores with a snap suplex, swinging neck breaker, and a bulldog for a 1 count. Test takes over but Richards escapes a pump handle attempt, but this time falls victim to the pump handle. Test ties him in the ropes, Andre the Giant style. Victoria enters the ring and Test grabs her and plants one on her. Victoria smiles, rubs his chest and kicks Test square in his quiz. The referee has freed Richards, who gets a sloppy roll up while holding the ropes to pick up the victory in 3:30. (1/2*)
Match #2
Rico with Miss Jackie vs Brandon Groom
Rico spanks Groom. Groom grabs a go behind and Rico bends over in a three point stance and grinds his buttocks into Groom's privates. Rico goes on the attack with fists but falls victim to two hip tosses, scoop slam, and drop kick. Miss Jackie gets on the apron. Brandon Groom heads over to her but is still
able to duck Rico's clothesline attempt. Groom charges Rico but Rico low bridges him to the outside. Rico slams his head into the barricade ringside and then drapes him on the apron to kick Groom in his mouth. Once in the ring again, Rico elbows Groom repeatedly in the head and hits a lifting kick. Rico hits a sexualized elbow drop and pin cover for 1. They trade chops. A step up corner kick to the mush but Grooms down to the mat. Rico heads to the top for a dive, but Groom gets the knees up. Three separate roll up attempts by Groom fail. Groom hits a spinning powerslam and heads to the top. He misses a top rope crossbody and Rico finishes him with a devastating neck breaker in 3:48. (*)
able to duck Rico's clothesline attempt. Groom charges Rico but Rico low bridges him to the outside. Rico slams his head into the barricade ringside and then drapes him on the apron to kick Groom in his mouth. Once in the ring again, Rico elbows Groom repeatedly in the head and hits a lifting kick. Rico hits a sexualized elbow drop and pin cover for 1. They trade chops. A step up corner kick to the mush but Grooms down to the mat. Rico heads to the top for a dive, but Groom gets the knees up. Three separate roll up attempts by Groom fail. Groom hits a spinning powerslam and heads to the top. He misses a top rope crossbody and Rico finishes him with a devastating neck breaker in 3:48. (*)
Match #3
Tommy Dreamer vs Matt Hardy
Matt Fact #1: Matt's first job was at a carwash.
Matt Fact #2 Matt is more extreme than Tommy Dreamer.
They trade slaps to begin. Dreamer gets a scoop slam but Matt Hardy sends him to the outside by the tights and rams Tommy into the ring apron spine first. Back in the ring, Matt gets a scoop slam, followed by a series of boots to Dreamer's gut. Hardy heads to the top turnbuckle, but Dreamer pulls his leg and crotches him. A Hardy back elbow sends Dreamer to the mat so that Hardy can miss a moonsault. They reset with a strike exchange that Dreamer wins. Dreamer delivers two separate styles of neck breakers, first swinging and then fall away. Dreamer hits a follow up death drop DDT. Hardy turns a death valley driver into a side effect for a 2 count. Hardy grabs Dreamer's kendo stick but misses with it. Dreamer hits a sit out powerbomb. Dreamer takes the cane up to the top and show boats to the crowd. Hardy follows him up there and hits a twist of fate from the top to pick up the victory in 4:26. (*1/2)
Match #4
Val Venis and Lance Storm wtih three ladies of the night vs La Resistance (Rene Dupree and Rob Conway)
Storm and Conway trade control holds, until. Lance goes up and over and nails a big punch to the face. Conway scurries away to tag Dupree. Lance controls until a tag to Val. Val comes in and gets a scoop slam and they hit stereo elbow drops. Dupree fires back with chops and forces Venis into the corner for the tag. Conway is tagged in and connects on a back elbow, scoop slam, and a knee drop. Val gets the boot up on a charge by Conway. Venis tries to climb to the top himself but gets pushed off by Dupree. Dupree is tagged in and he exchanges strikes with Venis until Venis gets a half nelson slam. Both men are down. Val crawls over and tags in Storm. Storm is a house of fire with clotheslines and drop kicks. He hits a steamroller and a springboard dropkick. Dupree breaks the pin attempt. Lance and Val attempt a double team maneuver but Dupree breaks that up as well. Storm flips out of a slam attempt by Conway but Dupree grabs his foot from the floor. This allows Conway to hit a devastating DDT and get the win in 5:43. (**)
Tomorrow night it's Raw in Memphis and Steve Austin is the sheriff! What will that mean!?
