With only one matchup of undefeated teams in week 2, will HTPB separate into haves and have nots or will everyone pull towards the middle? If Kevin would kindly click an ad for me that would be great.
Stabmyballzrepeatedly used the Lamar Jackson/Chubb/Tampa Defense Triple Threat of 108.50 points to crush Hardcore Cabinet despite 121 points from HC. SMBR ran away with the highest point total in the league this week. The touchdowns just kept coming during the 1:00 window. Hardcore Cabinet lost Trey Lance for the season after the new sexy fantasy QB scored 10 points. Two weeks into the season Hardcore has gotten under 20 points from the QB position and their #1 pick, Alvin Kamara. Research has shown that this is shitty. Shade should be thrown SMBR repeatedly because if Chubb just falls down in the fourth quarter instead of selfishly scoring a touchdown, the Browns win.
The opposite of Lamar Jackson's game was Matt Ryan's game as the Colts QB put up a whopping 1/2 point. Eh Bid Dude extends his record to 2-0. Things aren't' going well for the Collegians so far this season as he occupies the cellar in HTPB. EBD attack was well rounded with 6 players breaking double digits and no players went nanners. The only thing these two currently have in common is they drive around picking stuff up for a living and constantly comment on the time of day in which they do so. However, Steve can now drive his route in a brand new Toyota.
The Bay Bay's tasted their first HTPB defeat losing to the most followy follower of the lone wolfs. Stay with me here: He shows up late to the draft to arrive with his compatriots even though he was not coming from a kids sporting event like them. He changes his team name to something brother that doesn't make sense unless it's Hulk Hogan cutting a promo on Mil Mascaras, just to copy them. It doesn't make sense. The Lone Wolves of 3 people that do everything together doesn't make sense. GOD I FUCKING HATE IT!!!! Despite how much I hate that stupid shit, you're kidding yourself if you didn't think that I loved putting two wrestling clips in one paragraph.
The Italian Stallions tried to rebrand as Russell's Restaurant but have already closed their doors for a remodel. Maybe when they reopen in a few weeks it's a new age fusion place that serves fantasy points because their current menu of fried shit like Hayden Hurst and Rhamondre Steveson is really turning away the customers. Bricklayers has quietly put together a couple of really good weeks, which finds him in first place overall. If he can manage to avoid emotionally reacting and trading his best player for a bag of magic beans, it will bode well for the rest of his season. This week Diggs and Henderson gave Bricklayers $5 with 48.10 points.
(The amount of hoops that I had to get through to steal this image from NFL.com was worth it. Also fuck you and all your copyright bullshit on an innoxious photo like this one of Russell Wilson touring a stadium in England being built.)
Blue Gatorade's stay atop the standings was short-lived as the last place Dollars shook off a terrible week 1 to bounce back this week firmly placing both of them in the middle of the standings. Aaron Jones carried the $$$ squad with a 30 point performance. Blue Gatorade has been out of sorts this week finding himself on the injury report himself as he has been questionable with a knee issue. Somehow this loser manages to come down with
jumper's knee usually found in athletes in real sports not cross county which is boring as hell. Live footage of Max's last race where he got
"injured" He also brought his loser stench to the Guardians game Sunday, don't invite him or fellow
loser jynx, Bricklayers anywhere.
I now have a vendetta against both
Richards brothers as Jeremy denied and shared my attempt at a hilarious moment. Maybe TR will adopt so maybe there is a chance for somebody in this family to not be a total turd. Jeremy's Brother has started the season 2-0 as he looks to continue his streak of making the playoffs ever single season in the league yet someone managing to turn that into zero dollars in place money. Maybe he is able to see angles that the rest of cannot since he has a different perspective. That perspective being waist high. BNE returned to the auto draft to try to reclaim past glory which is going about as well as when Washington brought back Joe Gibbs the second time to do the same. He also continues to get destroyed as a defense coordinator; this week losing 25-9 to fall to 0-2.
In the only matchup this week that induced some nail biting, RM defeated ODS. Big E once again blew a lead. Ironically as I type this my phone went off with an amber alert in Akron. Akron, where the Coke plant is. You do the math. That math 2+2= Big E likes
children. Josh Allen has been a complete stud so far this season and ODS has turned in into zero wins. That's a problem. The Rams double up Stafford and Kupp was enough to carry him to the victory in the lone matchup of winless teams, this week.
First Power Rankings
Introducing Nick's Math Facts Corner
| | | | | | | |
| | PWR | | | | | |
| tiers | RANK | W | L | +/- | | - UNLUCKY |
| 1 | BL | 22 | 4 | 0 | | + LUCKY |
| EBD | 20 | 6 | -2 | | |
| 2 | SMBR | 19 | 7 | 1 | | |
| BG | 18 | 8 | -1 | | |
| TS | 17 | 9 | 2 | | |
| HC | 16 | 10 | 0 | | |
| 3 | ODS | 15 | 11 | -5 | | |
| BNE | 15 | 11 | -4 | | |
| 4 | CB | 10 | 16 | 2 | | |
| BB | 9 | 17 | 0 | | |
| $$ | 8 | 18 | 3 | | |
| 5 | IS | 6 | 20 | -1 | | |
| LZ | 6 | 20 | 3 | | |
| TC* | TC | 1 | 25 | 0 | | |
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | |
| Average score went up 9 points | | | | | | |
| High Score for week set @ 152 for the year | | | | | | |
| Steves points went up… by 0.43 | | | | | |
Currently the only person with a bitch is ODS who's spot is currently being schedule stolen by RM. Week 2 is admittedly a poor week for data for this but it's easier to track if you start at the beginning. Thanks to Nick for running the spreadsheet for this so I don't have to spend time doing math just hard hitting analyses and side splitting jokes that you have come to know and love.
Week 2 Prediction Picks Recap
Jeremy's Brother nailed it going 7-0 this week. Nice work Jason. That puts you in first place overall. At a quick glance I think Steve went 2-5 for back to back last places as did Big E and Max. Week 3
link
Week 4 Preview: (FYI if you don't have Amazon Prime, the game will be ABC locally, GO BROWNS)
The Game of the Week
It's a battle of undefeateds as Eh Bid Dude battles JB.
HC vs IS as HC looks to continue the decade of domination.
ODS vs SMBR
BNE vs BL
BG vs RM
$$ vs Bay Bay's (Let's talk about Bay-Bay's draft)
Toilet Bowl Preview Game
Hope you enjoyed this week's write-up. Let me know what were the funniest parts. Also a genuine plea for teams to be consistent on their team names. (LZ, IS, RM looking at you.) When you are trying to go back and look shit up and shit changes that shit is hard and I don't like that shit.
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