Goodbye regular season and with it we say goodbye to half the league. Better luck next year, but here is a little nugget to hold on to for next year. You already know your first week matchups and the team that you will battle twice. ODS vs RM, BNE vs BB's, IS vs TC. Despite how shitty your team was this year, have no fear, you get to play somebody who was shitty twice next year. Is opportunity knocking or is that the Toilet Bowl Trophy clanking around in Dollars trunk on the way to Cory's house?
Evan Engram came to town and left with ODS's dignity. When your squad gets beaten by Evan Engram, Jared Goff, and Zanovan Knight beat you can stop complaining about the schedule being what kept you from having a good season and look in the damn mirror. Hardcore Cabinet returns to the playoffs and ODS returns to the drawing the board.
Dollars gets himself yet another lucky win as he finally put BNE and his auto draft out of his misery. Dollars has been unbelievably lucky this season. Like horseshoe so far up the ass that it's brushing up against the back of his molars. BNE continually brings up how bad the schedule has fucked him. It has fucked him but it was playing just the tip because BNE's record should have been a playoff missing 6-8 not a playoff missing 5-9. Dollars makes the playoffs as the third seed despite being 11th in points. 11th! That's insane. Dollars did hit 4 of his 7 playoff picks for a score of 57%. 7 percent better than a flipping a coin. If you want to read what Dollars thought in August. click here.
In a game that had no realistic chance at the playoffs or the toilet, Bay-Bay's defeated Collegians in the IT OCCIRED BOWL. Neither team made the playoffs and Dan finishes his first season in HTPB with the same number of career playoff victories as JC (currently) and RM (at this point presumably forever and ever amen) I eulogized Steve not going back to back this week despite Steve holding on to his impossible impossibility of playoff chances he was holding on to this week and I'm not going to spend any more time on this game.
Italian Stallions continued to win games that didn't matter for him as he defeated Stabmyballzrepeatedly. Fun fact: Dom's 6 wins all came in 2 week bunches. Also to make Dom feel good, Patrick Mahomes threw the same number of interceptions this week as Jalen Hurts has all season (3). Things have fallen apart a bit for SMBR down the stretch losing three games in a row, but has he been shitty like a fox? He cratering down the standings allows him to play Dollars (the shittiest playoff by far) and is an LZ upset of EBD away from avoiding both EBD and BL until the super bowl.
In a battle of wolves who Blue Gatorade could have made a loser leave town match but turned into a loser gets to avoid Hardcore Cabinet in the first round match. Los Zapatistas jumped at the chance to avoid playing the team that has whipped his butt twice already this season. LZ looks to regroup with the return of his sweet prince, while Jeremy's Brother looks to do what Tinker Stinkers was never able to do. Win a playoff game.
Blue Gatorade killed his playoff chances and allowed Bricklayers dreams of keeping their undefeated season alive with a Huntley homerun. This marked the second time this season that someone living at 4231 Timberidge Ave started the wrong QB by 30 points and allowed Bricklayers to sneak off with a win. Bricklayers has been an injury free buzzsaw this season and looks to match the 2005 ODS with as an undefeated champion.
Comparing the two teams with undefeated regular seasons is very hard to do with very different scoring and 4 additional franchises in the league but I tried to do so math. It's not apples to apples. Jim Brown wouldn't be nearly as dominant today but he was so much better than his peers, he is widely considered the greatest RB ever. Matt Fucking Shuab is 11th all time in QB rating. It's fucking hard which is why I can only do based on comparison to each's league opponents that season.
In 2022 Bricklayers scored 1747.03 in 14 games while ODS scored 1398.10 in 2005 over 13 games. We will look at this as points scored as a percentage of the league total. Bricklayers scored 8% of the total points in the league while ODS scored 11.8% of the league's total points. ODS didn't have the highest point total that year as Deez Nuts bested him with 5 weeks above 130 points which under our old scoring system is about 165 in today's league. That is fucking crazy. But he dropped tons of shit weeks too. Weird team that year for Deez. Advantage ODS.
In 2005 ODS winning percentage in the power rankings was 71% while BL came in at a whopping 76% this season. Advantage BL.
Number of weeks with a lucky win which is how many times a team was in the lower half the league in points scored but managed to pull of a win. This season that would be a Dollars. Bricklayers pulled out two Dollars this season. (two wins with 8 most points in 14 man league) While ODS pulled out only 1 in 2005. (7th most in a ten man). Advantage ODS.
Final verdict. It's so difficult to move eras and compare. It's basically a coin flip so you decide and debate. But none of it means shit if Bricklayers doesn't win the title. (See 2016 Golden State Warriors)
Final regular season pick em results.
Congratyualtions are in order for Dan who went 6-1 this week. Kevin and Big E came in dead last at 1-6. Overall HC leads with 60 correct picks while Jason has 59. Brickwood is lying in the weeds with 55 wins. ODS is dead last with 37 wins. Playoff picks can be made here.
EBD and BL are tied for the lead with 28 out of 58 medals, 5 clear of HC and JB. ODS and BB pulled up the rear with 13 two behind Cory. You can check out yours here.
Round 1 Playoff Preview
Bricklayers gets a bye. Had they played Skynet would have given BG a 34.88% chance in that fictious game.
EBD battles Los Zapatistas or whatever the hell he will be called next. Skynet says...EBD 61.28%
EBD last playoff win 2016, LZ last won a playoff game in 2019.
HC (2020) battles Jeremy's Brother (2017) Skynet gives HC 57.4% probability.
$$$ (2018) vs SMBR (2021) with SMBR projected pull the "upset" 60.35%.
Hope you enjoyed the regular season. I will try to keep the fun coming in blog form through the playoffs if the content allows. Let me know what features, statistics, jokes you have enjoyed. Regardless of whether you win that week or not, Dom.
