HTPB 24.7

                                                         

                            The Loins got their first win! The Wolves got swept! Let's take a look.

                                            Italian Stallions 129 defeat Big Nasty Express 76

A Stallion wins finally wins a race against red bearded balding backwoods men on all fours

After a month and half the Stallions finally got a touchdown from his top draft pick and finally got a win.  He also cashed in on Johnathan Taylor's third 3 TD game of the season.  His usual poo platter of receivers combined for 50 points.  It was enough to finally give the winless Loins their first win. There is a dark cloud hanging over the Loins however as Hardcore Cabinet looms next week, the Loins have not defeated the Cabinet since the first Obama administration. BNE got 25 points out of tight end and failed to break 80.  Bijan added 18 but no other Express member broke the 7 point threshold.

Dollars 106 defeats Blue Gatorade 82

A male nurse with scrubs decorated in Dollar bills, checks in a on bald college kid with a negative prognosis who is attached to an IV of Blue Gatorade.

Blue Gatorade is finally where he belong, in dead fucking last.  Can he get a couple of lucky wins to leave the toilet trophy to Bricklayers again this year?  Despite 21 points form Olave, BG scored under 100 for the 5th straight week.  Saquon Barkley continues to struggle as well, scoring 13 points combined in the last two games.  For BG's sake, maybe all of his players with the red letters can return. Dollars lost his second QB to a foot injury this season, as who would have ever predicted feet would give Dollars anything but a boner.  I have decided to not mention Dollars selling Chase before the game of the season, although Rice did have a really good game. 

StabmyBalzrepeatedly 118 defeats Ogre's Death Squad 114

Justin Fields in a scream mask sneaks up on Shrek standing next a windowless van that is spray painting with the message free candy and hugs

Ogre's Death Squad can't quit Justin Fields in a Brokeback mountain situation.  He was almost able to overcome it with 54 points Monday night from JSN and Gibbs.  SMBR has ridden the newly once again explosive Patrick Mahomes to 2 straight wins.  With his 2nd highest point total in the league, SMBR will be a force to be reckoned with during the home stretch.  

Eh Big Dude 147 defeats Bricklayers 105

A large tree that grows Jamar Chase like fruit looms over a homeless man with hair gelled up dragging a golden toilet by a chain. 

The franchise collapse of Bricklayers continues, since gagging an undefeated season into a 3rd place finish, the Bricklayers have yet to make the playoffs again, won a toilet, and are in contention to make it back to back, and allowed his record of three titles to be tied by two other franchises who could pass him up this year.   Eh Bid Dude felt no remorse and stepped on the neck of his fallen AOE partner.  Jamar Chase at least mercifully ended it Thursday night with approximately 58 targets.  

Bay-Bay's 119 defeats Los Zapatistas 95

Adam Cole wearing a Canadian Flag like a cape defeats a Luchador known as "The Shoes"

Roster mismanagement came to call for Los Zapatistas.  He stupidly played someone who was out for the year and should have seen that mid game injury coming.    Bay-Bay's took a victory lap that nobody picked him but he only picked two other games correctly himself.  Bay-Bay's does however continue to pick up wins at a rate never seen before in franchise history.  If BB's can go 3-4 down the stretch it will be greatest season in franchise history! 

Hardcore Cabinet 96 defeats Tinker Stinkers 95

Hardcore Cabinet continues to be kryptonite to the wolves.  HC continues to be unbeaten against the trio who have been running roughshod over the rest of the league.  Just seeing HC causes both TS and RM to have their worst performance of the year and piss down their legs in fear.    Tinker Stinkers played both McCaffery brothers, Jeremy McCaffery for the niners came through in dominating fashion with 36 alpha brother points.  Jason McCaffery for the commanders came in with a beta bro level 4 points all earned on special teams.  The game came down to 14th round pick defense New England outscoring top picked defense by 25.

The Collegians 154 defeat Rush 'n Missiles 127

(A college graduate holds a sign that says I love bo-ners in front of Joesph Stalin, Nikita Khrushev, and Vladamir Putin.)

Not exactly what I wanted but I think the picture is funny.

Led by the unlikely duo of 4th quarter Bo-ner and the Cleveland Browns, the Collegians scored the highest points in the league this week.  If RM was told that on Allen's bye week he would receive 36 points for Stafford, RM would have assumed he was well on his way to victory.  Well RM would have been as wrong as he is ringless.  Not like the Collegians, who you may not have realized won the league last year.  

On a week where Yahoo predictions went 2-5, EBD, HC, SMBR, TC, and IS managed to go 4-3.  This increased EBD overall season lead.  BG sucks all aspects again this week with a back to back 1-6 pick em record.  Although he is not last overall as that honor belongs to Dollars.

Despite the bad week, still alone at the top

1. Tinker Stinkers 71-20

Really good squads

2. LZ 59-32

3. RM 57-34

4. TC 54-37

5. SMBR 53-38

Nice teams

6. ODS 48-43

7. EBD 47-44

Can't be discounted

8. $$ 43-48

9. HC 42-49

Not good

10. BB 38-53

11. BNE 38-53

12. IS 36-55

Bad 

13. BL 31-60

Blue Gatorade

14. 20-71

Looking at the remaining schedules, every team plays 3 or 4 teams in the top 7 of the power rankings.  The two that don't....Dollars has 5 games left against the best and The Collegians only has 2. 

It's Rematch Week!  The winner of the week 1 game is in ALL CAPS.

Game of the Week

#5 RUSH 'N MISSILES vs #6 Ogre's Death Squad 

#1 HC vs #12 is

#7 BB vs #8 bne

#11 dollars vs #4 EBD

really wish my keyboard had the cents symbol

#3 LZ vs  #10 tc

#9 smbr vs #2 TS

The Toilet Bowl matchup possibly of the year

#14 BLUE GATORADE vs #13 bricklayers

Most of the matchups are have vs have nots.  The playoff picture could start to look a lot clearer one week from today. 

HTPB 24.6

                                            

The league has clearly separated into have and have nots in the standings with Bay-Bay's right where he likes it, sandwiched between several guys.  Will this hold until playoff time?

StabmyBalzRepeatedly 147 defeats BayBay's 67

(A comic Book Guy spanks a mountie with a rolled up comic book)

What can be said about Bay-Bay's performance this week that hasn't already been said about leprosy.  Jalen Hurts scored almost a third of his points while Mahomes and Dowdle would have won the game on their own.  Bay-Bay's would have needed The Guardian to even have a chance.   Despite falling to .500 on the year, BB's in on pace for their best season in franchise history.  Yes .500 would be the best season in history, but we have a odd number of games and the nose is clearly pointed downward.  SMBR is one of the league leaders in points and has only managed two wins.  

Hardcore Cabinet 83 defeats The Collegians 78

(An old timey villian in the vein of Snively Whiplash steals candy from two babies, one is bald and one is a graduation cap and gown.)

In a disgusting slog of a game, HC was led by a Jeanty's 16 points.    After a real hot start, Hardcore are crashed back to Earth with a thud.  Baker was stolen for a bag of beans but then not played, but had Baker been used HC would have still only scored 90.  The Collegians season has been a reverse poop sandwich with the crap being the bread and the center being good.  Like a KFC double down sandwich made in hell.  Although one could argue that the KFC double down sandwich is designed by Satan.  I would like to thank the flog's newest sponsor Popeye's. Love that Chicken from Popeyes.  

Eh Bid Dude 116 defeats Italian Stallions 107

(An anthropomorphic tree attacks a sickly skin and bones stallion on a football field)

You can't spell Italian Stallions without several L's, as the Loins drop to 0-6 on the season.  The Lions would have to win out to even have a shot at the playoffs.  While not mathematically eliminated, his season is down to dodging the toilet with Blue Gatorade. Eh Bid Dude early on the season was kept afloat by some lucky wins but the last two weeks, he has earned his victories to lead to a 4-2 record and two game lead on a playoff spot, which he may need with all three wolves still on the schedule. 

Los Zapatistas 134 defeat Blue Gatorade 88

(A man in a sombrero sleeps on a street corner surrounded by empty bottles of Gatorade Artic Freeze.  The man in the sombrero should have a blue milk moustache.)

Both teams continued their ways this week. Los Zapatistas has ran through all non wolves, and word on the street is that the wolves run through each other in a different way.  While Blue Gatorade did get fleeced for Baker Mayfield, the new additions did total for 10 points, which on Blue Gatorade gets your jersey retired.  LZ keeps on rolling but will the loss of a few weeks of Egbuka put a dent in his streak of dominance over the past few seasons as he keeps piling up children and wins. 

Ogre's Death Squad 100 defeats Dollars 90

(Shrek wrapped in a fleece in an outhouse near a bonfire pit of 1 dollar bills)

ODS nearly fleeced himself in the outhouse as Justin Fields soiled himself all over London. ODS was led by JSN's 26 points and Achane's 30.  If you told Dollars that we would have gotten 23 points from Bryce Young, he probably would have been liking his chances, but other than Pickens it was slim pickens from Dollars.  He did add Rice and Bowers to help down the road and avoid a toilet or maybe make a late push. His playoff picks would have 3 correct as of now which would be the highest it's been all season.  ODS is riding high on a four game winning streak but that streak does not include a team with more than 2 wins.  

Tinker Stinkers 112 defeats Rush n' Missiles 103

 (A dwarf battles Vladmir Putin in the Roman Colosseum surrounded by spectating wolves.)

In a battle atop the standings, Tinker Stinkers proved exactly why you draft a defense ridiculous high. Denver's defense dismantled da dismal dets to the tune of 30 points.  It was actually the lowest points Tinker Stinkers has scored all year, but it was still enough defeat Cory.  He must now get back lower in the standings.  He may be able to come back for that #1 seed as his remaining schedule is easier than the Stinkers. 

Big Nasty Express 127 defeats Bricklayers 110

(Train crashes through a brickwall which sends Lady Bic razors flying)

BNE scored nearly 70 points on Monday Night to get the victory.  Bricklayers traded for JK Dobbins to add some punch to his punchless running game, but JK, his running game is still punchless as Dobbins scored 4 points against the worst team in the league.  Bricklayers went with RB -5 instead of RB 0 as a draft strategy this year.  He's played 4 games against the bottom of the standings as has managed to get 1 win.  BNE is riding a three game winning streak into a matchup with the winless Loins.  

You're the best around
Nothing's gonna ever keep you down

except maybe an artery clogged with pork

1. Tinker Stinkers 68-10

Really Good

2. LZ 57-21

3. RM 47-31

4. SMBR 45-33 (So unlucky)

Unlike a America, a healthy middle class

5. ODS 41-37

6. TC 41-37

7. HC 38-40 (lucky)

8. BNE 38-40

9. $$ 37-41

10. EBD 35-43

Awful

11. BB 29-49

12. BL 26-52

13. IS 25-53

Blue Gatorade

14. BG 19-53

5 was the top number again this week as BB, BNE, IS, and $$ each went 5-2.  Blue Gatorade sucks at all aspects of this and went 1-6.  Our overall leader remains EBD at 29-13 and $$ is pulling up the rear at 17-25.  Thanks for making your picks.  

Game of the Week

#1 Tinker Stinkers vs #3 Hardcore Cabinet

#5 ODS vs #9 SMBR

#8 BB vs #2 LZ

#6 BNE vs #14 IS

#12 vs BL #7 EBD

#4 RM vs #11 TC

Toilet Game of the Week

#13 Blue Gatorade vs #10 $$

Heading to week 7, with lots of matchups of haves vs haves and have nots vs have nots, we could see the race getting tighter.

HTPB 24.5

 

We lost our last undefeated squad, but Italian Stallions is still keeping it strong with zero wins.  Tinker Stinkers continues to dominate as a pack of wolves a crowded at the stop of standings in a Human Centiwolf scenario.  

Ogre's Death Squad 127.68 defeats The Collegians 108.52

(An anthropomorphic wildcat wearing a hat that says "Big Cat" hugs Shrek wearing a favorite son shirt, while a man in a cap and gown cries while holding a sign that says, "It should have been me.")

AI with the 100% accuracy.

Justin Fields poured in on when it didn't matter and ODS was able to pull above .500.  AJ Brown continues to disappoint for the Collegians but he did get his second highest scoring game of the year with 7.15.  The Collegians hard luck loss knocks them out of the current playoff field and that first week point total hangs around his neck like tie breaker killing scarlet letter.  

Dollars 123.70 defeats Bay-Bay's 99.58

(An injured and bandaged Mountie is left on the side of the road while a man drives off in a Raptor truck filled with dollar bills and Miller Lites.)

Dollars has won two in a row and hopes to keep the ship afloat after starting 0-2 and losing Joe Burrow.  Jamar Chase got lots of garbage time points to feel like Burrow was back.  The world is starting to return to it's natural place as Bay-Bay's takes a second loss and his team starts to fall apart.  His team is still the best HTPB based in Canada, but all of the long road trips are wearing on his team and finding it's way into America each week.  Dollars playoff picks, if the season ended today would have 2 correct, (HC, ODS)

Los Zapatistas 122.54 defeat StabMyBalzRepeatedly 103.75

(A man in a sombrero robs a comic book store while the owner sleeps despite Rico Dowdle trying to wake him up.)

SMBR continues to leave inactive people in their lineup and while in the guillotine league that is enough to eliminate Sergio, it's not here in HTPB as LZ continues to rack up wins, this week led by the Colts defense and their 26 points.  SMBR continues to be confused and flummoxed by Thursday night and European games. Kevin is desperate to find someone to help him run his team as he continues to crack under the pressure.

Eh Bid Dude 120.76 defeats Blue Gatorade 91.38

(Michael Myers drags a bald kid in a Kent State hoodie through the woods)

When the worst team in the league losing two of its very few playable guys to injuries, it's not going to go well.  Things don't look to be going well as byes have not yet hit his team either.  It will be shocking if he doesn't win the toilet trophy this year. He may never figure out how to not be garbage. In EBD's 5 games his opponent has broken 103 points just once.  EBD was led by Ferguson and his 21 points which is all that is needed to beat BG.  

Tinker Stinkers 143.08 defeat Italian Stallions 112.30

(A dwarf tackles a wild stallion while yelling "Into the Smoker with ya.")

Tinker Stinkers continues to rack up the points and Italian Stallions continue to lose.  Tinker Stinkers is tops of the power rankings and flavorful meat rankings.  Italian Stallions just needs to get enough victories to leap over Blue Gatorade to avoid winning yet another Toilet Bowl Trophy.  This year Kasey tried to talk Dom into not wasting $65.  Ring camera caught footage of the conversation before Dom left for the draft. 

Rush'n Missiles 115.48 defeats Bricklayers 94.61

(A golf coach with red blurry eyes wins the Canton South Teacher of the year award while clutching a fist full of parlay tickets.  A loser teacher with a tiny head and a hairstyle with way too much gel in it looks on sadly.)

After several years of struggling RM has finally figured out how fantasy football works.  More points are good. Armed with this recent knowledge RM, has improved greatly over the last few years.  Bricklayers appears to be trapped in a prison of his own creation.  Here is what Bricklayers drafter in order, Brian Thomas Jr, Chase Brown, Treyvon Henderson, Mike Evans, Calvin Ridley.  That's a starting five that rivals the Washington Generals. Maybe the Layers can turn it around to see what they are made of. 

Big Nasty Express 94.97 defeats Hardcore Cabinet 81.13

(A man with a red beard and white T-shirt with a chest pocket raids an old rusty cabinet to add the Cutler Reality Open on Sunday to his tire fire)

The first version of this picture had the man stone faced so I asked it to edit the face to the expression of (glee from an old timey prospector)

In a game that only a mother could love, BNE was able to piece together a win over Hardcore Cabinet and end the last unbeatens quest for a perfect record.  Trevor Lawrence tripped and fell into the end zone for BNE as a last minute replacement for Purdy, but netted BNE 26 points.  HC had 3 usually strong performers score less than 5 and usually shitty performer Jeudy score less than 5. HC released a statement:

Good win last week, Webb.  As I look at your squad, I could puke. You might be have the worst team besides BG. Last week was on me.  Bad GM skills.  You did nothing special.  I failed.  Just saying.  Good win tho. Thrash!

Better than you, and you know it

1. Tinker Stinkers 59-6 

Really Good

2. LZ 45-20

3. RM 41-24

4. TC 40-25

 Good

5. ODS 36-29

6. HC 36-29

They Aight

7. $$ 33-32

8. SMBR 32-33

Not Good

9. BB 29-36

10. BNE 27-38

11. EBD 25-40

Shitty

12. BL 18-47

13. IS 18-47

14. BG 16-49

Big ups to Los Zapatistas with our first perfect week.  Muy Bueno! EBD which has won every week even had his best week of the year with 6, but it wasn't enough with perfection on the table.  He's still 5 clear of HC and BL in second for the year to date lead.  

Dollars brought up the rear with 3 correct picks.  He's the low man on the year as well.  

Game of the Week

#1 Tinker Stinkers vs 2 Rush'N Missiles

#4 HC vs #10 TC

#6 BB vs #11 SMBR

#12 BL vs #8 BNE

#13 BG vs #3 LZ

#9 $$ vs #5 ODS

Toilet Bowl Game of the Week

#14 Italian Stallions vs #7 Eh Big Dude

Week 6 begins.....NOW!

HTPB 24.4

                                                  

         The season is already 1/4 gone and we only have two teams remaining with goose eggs in the standings.  Plus the gaggle of group think goobers, seem to have bunched up in the standings, with Wolves at the high end, Goons in the middle, and AOE in the bottom tier.  

                              Hardcore Cabinet 166.08 defeats StabmyBalzrepeatedly 126.10

(Comic book guy opens a cabinet labeled Hardcore, that emits a powerful blinding light as if the power of the heavens as been unleashed.)

SBMR got off to a rough start with Warren a late scratch over in Ireland.  It doesn't appear to matter has Hardcore led the league in points behind 10 touchdowns and two 30 points scorers.  This is SMBR second hard luck loss of the season, which looks great in the power rankings, but not in the standings.  Hardcore Cabinet remains undefeated and has been in the top half of scores each week so far this season, having swept the entire Johnson clan already this season. 

    

                                           Bay-Bay's 114.53 defeat Italian Stallions 105.33

(A football coach Sylvester Stallone is a dunce cap looks on sadly as Daniel Jones throws a football badly.)

The Stallions benched Dak Prescott and his 34 points in exchange for Daniel Jones' 10 points.  This move cost him causing the Stallions to still be searching for their first win of the season.  While Bay-Bay's were able to overcome the loss of Malik Nabors to a likely torn ACL to go 3-1, in what has been the best start of the franchise's history.  BB's lack of a bench looms large without Nabors and the bye weeks beginning.  

Ogre's Death Squad 91.55 defeats Blue Gatorade 76.08

(A bald college kid runs away with a golden toilet, while saying "Not getting away from me this time" in the style of a Sunday newspaper comic)

The return of Chris Godwin and his 4 points was not enough to let BG break 76 points. After deserving but avoiding the Toilet Bowl Trophy last season, Blue Gatorade is trying to right that wrong with an even worse team this year.   Ogre Death Squad will take advantage with the lucky win. The three headed monster of Geno, Sam Darnold, and Justin Fields continues to be predictably awful.  ODS' schedule gets much harder the rest of the way, can he make the playoffs for the first time since 2020? 

Rush 'n Missiles 129.97 defeat Los Zapatistas 126.52

(an anthropomorphic wolf with a water bottle full of brown liquid and whistle around his neck, saying "Get the F back" will standing victoriously over a anthropomorphic wolf wearing a sombrero)

Los Zapatistas were let down by Justin Herbert in an otherwise solid team performance to narrowly lose to the top heavy performance of Allen, Puka, and Judkins who scored 65% of RM total points. RM emerges from a brutal opening to the season schedule that had 4 of the top 6 in the standings, (he's one of the other 2) and finished 3-1.  RM takes the early lead in the Alpha wolf standings.  

The Collegians 134.02 defeat Tinker Stinkers 131.05

(a college graduate in cap and gown playing original Nintendo and on the tv the video game boss being defeated is a dwarf.)

The Collegians got all of the players' bad weeks over the first game of the year as they have been steadily increasing their point totals each week.  Bo Nix gave the Collegians a Bo-ner with a big night Monday and Lions defense feasted on our god awful offense.  The Stinkers have been racking up points in the early season, but Lamar's hamstring injury could be cause for some concern as the schedule will get much tougher down the line.  Tinker Stinkers first 5 opponents have somehow only managed to combine for 5 wins on the season.  

Big Nasty Express 102.79 defeats Eh Bid Dude 102.45

(A man wins a race by the length of his red beard against a tree wearing a Jason Vorhees style mask.)

For the second week in a row, BNE needed Monday Night Magic and this time he got it, narrowly edging out EBD.  Caleb Williams came back to Earth and Tyreke Hill got his knee turned inside out, but it was enough for BNE to squeak out the victory.  EBD has two victories having not broken 104 points in week.  But his next four weeks are against the bottom four teams in the standings.  Maybe EBD can continue to get wins against the soft underbelly of HTPB. Maybe the slow start is because of the zero trades so far.

Dollars 117.17 defeats Bricklayers 104.22

(an evil dictator smacks a small evil dictator with a tiny head with a wad of cash)

Chase Brown and Brian Thomas continue to struggle mightily for Bricklayers.  Dollars used three giant body blows from Wentz, Pickens, and Hampton as he gets the first win of the year behind his revamped team as he tries to rebuild his team post Burrow injury. This matchup between active leaders in wins and win percentage was rough as it so far has been a down trodden year for both.  While the team in second place in both categories has been perfect and gaining ground.

The cream of the crop.

1. Tinker Stinkers 46-6  

In a class by himself this year, in school that was because of his special needs but now it's because of his special team. 

Really good teams

2. Hardcore Cabinet 36-16

3. Los Zapatistas 35-17
4. The Collegians 34-18

5. Rush'n  Missiles 33-19

Basic Ass Bitches

6. SMBR 27-25

7. BB 25-27

8. ODS 24-28

9. BNE 24-28

10. $$ 22-30

Diaper Pails

11. EBD 16-36

12. BL 16-36

13. BG 15-37

14. IS 11-41

Power Rankings tie breakers is total points. So far SMBR has been the unluckiest and EBD has been the luckiest. 

Our high draft picks that could give us issues

Gibbs, Evan Engram, Denver's D, McConkey, Harrison Jr, DJ Moore, Drake London, Chase Brown, Jeanty, Burrow, Tyreke (what did Nick know and when did he know it), Kelce, 

one person I think misunderstood the question and SMBR sent a middle finger.

For the fourth week in a row 5 was the highest number of correct picks and for the fourth week in a row, EBD was at least tied for the best record.  He was joined this week by BL, HC, TC, ODS, and BNE.  Bringing up the rear were LZ and $$. Overall EBD is obviously in 1st and the IS are in 14th.  Full results can be found here. 

Game of the Week 

(This week is mostly haves vs have nots)

#1 Hardcore Cabinet vs #8 Big Nasty Express

#6 ODS vs #7 TC 

#5 BB vs #11 $$
#12 BL vs #3 RM

#14 IS vs #2 TS

#4 LZ vs #10 SMBR

Toilet Bowl Game of the Week

#9 Eh Bid Dude vs #13 Blue Gatorade

Bye weeks begin so it's things are about to get weird. Enjoy week 5!

HTPB 24.3

 

The ranks of the unbeaten and the winless took a big hit this week.  We had ten teams with goose eggs in a column in the standings and now we have 5. Power Rankings will debut next week.  Right now everyone is bunched up for the most part except Tinker Stinkers a clear #1 and The Loins a distant #14.

Hardcore Cabinet 112.65 defeats Blue Gatorade 88.52

(A smiling dad puts his failure bald son in the corner)

Hardcore Cabinet remains undefeated after picking up a third straight win over someone who has slept with one of Kevin's sisters.  Blue Gatorade's receiving core of McConkey and McLauren did McShitty totaling 12 points.  Hunter Henry led the way for Hardcore Cabinet overcoming yet another poor performance from #1 pick Alshon Jeanty and 2nd round pick Tee Higgins scored 1 point.  

Stabmybalzrepeatedly 105.37 defeats Bricklayers 91.99

(A man in a hoodie unleashes a team of 7 year old flag football players with giant steroid aided muscles to attack a man with a tiny head and tons of gel in his hair.)

Despite a big 21 points from Drake Maye and 26 from the Chiefs defense, Bricklayers couldn't crack 92 points.  Despite Bricklayers opponents having secured exactly zero wins against any other team, he has managed to put together only 1 win.  SMBR used a well rounded performance to pick up his first win of the season right before a tough schedule stretch over the next three weeks where his opponents have a combined record of 8-1.

The Collegians 144.70 defeats Eh Big Dude 95.22

(An mysterious wizard known as the schedule maker breaks off his relationship with a giant who has to face reality)

Eh Big Dude finally played someone who didn't have a terrible week and boy howdy did they over correct as the Collegians went nanners for 144 points.  The Collegians outscored their week 1 performance by 99.  EBD spent a majority of his FAAB on Jake Browning who left a giant brown something on the field this week.  When your team is led in scoring by a white running back not named CMC, it could be a dark stretch for EBD.  

Ogre's Death Squad 137.68 defeats Italian Stallions 98.77

(Shrek puts a stallion in a headlock while a lamb with his ankle in a cast cries.)

Geno Smith dropped a 30 spot to give ODS their first victory of the year. He's running a celebration sale on his onlyfans. The Italian Stallions are staring yet another toilet bowl this year especially after Lamb's early injury today.  Even JTT's 33 spot could not save the Stallions from their fate.  Can the Stallions avoid yet another terrible season?

Rush'n Missiles 124.65 defeats Bay-Bay's 82.63

(A coach chases off a Mountie making sure he is gets back.)

Bay-Bay's returned to where they feel the most comfortable, losing without breaking 100 this week.  RM was able to return to winning form as Josh Allen returned to form as well, getting 27 points.  James Conner was lost for the season for Bay-Bay's. Could Bay-Bay's fall of a cliff just like year after a hot start?   

Tinker Stinkers 132.05 defeats Dollars 126.28

(A dwarf smashes a zombie made of money with his bag of Arby's while a sad reporter takes notes on the changing battle.)

Tinker Stinkers used a whole heaping serving of Monday Night Magic to continue his steam rolling through the league through 3 weeks.  Both Lamar and Montgomery got over 30 points as Dollars tried to get his season of the mat behind two running backs who currently aren't splitting carries in Hampton and Mason.  Right now that all time winning percentage is taking a pretty big hit. Currently his playoff predictions are toilet bowl worthy as well as they have 2 teams that are currently in the top 7 for a combined 33% win percentage.  Take away HC's 3-0 record and the other 6 have a combined 4 wins. 

Los Zapatistas 108.50 defeat Big Nasty Express 103.84

(A man in a sombrero just edges out a train driven by Caleb Williams in a race called "Monday Night")

The BNE tried to pull of  the upset with Caleb Williams scoring a third of his team's points but the victory slipped through his painted nails.  The Zapatistas remained undefeated mainly thanks to the Colts are their horse based defense.   Will BNE still have a chance to make the playoffs when all of his injured guys return?  Will LZ ever lose?  Will I come up with something funny for this game? 

1. no

2. yes

3. not really, this bit is weak

The top pickers went 5-2 this week, with SMBR, BNE, ODS, and EBD hitting those games correctly.  EBD has at least been tied for 1st all three weeks and is our overall leader.  Everybody else got 3 right except for TC who got 4. 

Here are the guys that everybody else was stupid for letting them fall in the draft

BNE- Shaheed

RM- Judkins

TS -Warren 

LZ- Egbuka

ODS- Ayomanor

BB-Javontae Williams

EBD- Diggs

$$- Tuten

IS- Etienne

HC- JCM

BL- Kraft

Too Shitty of a bench- BG,TC

Always fucking with me on the question: SMBR

Game of the Week

#2 Los Zapatistas vs Rush'n Missiles #4

HC vs SMBR

EBD vs BNE

IS vs BB

BG vs ODS

TS vs TC

Toilet Bowl Game of the Week

#13 Dollars vs #12 Bricklayers

Good luck to all next week! 

Click here for episode 1 of Ruthless.