Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 1/10/2004 & WWE Sunday Night Heat 1/11/2004

                                                 

Check out the Ruthless Podcast discussing this week's Raw and Smackdown on the North South Connection Network.

It's Saturday Night which means it's time for some WWE Velocity!

                                       Match #1                                       

Billy Kidman vs Sakoda

Kidman monkey flips Sakoda.  Kidman hits a springboard headscissors but Sakoda quickly hangs Kidman's arm over top rope.  Sakoda ties Kidman's arm in the rope and wrenches on it a few more times.  He locks in a weak looking arm bar.  Kidman freaks free from the hold and attempts a BK bomb but his arm gives out.  Sakoda throws Kidman's arm into the turnbuckle and works on the arm even more. Kidman gets a sky high drop kick, followed by a flying forearm, and a turnbuckle vaulted bulldog.  Sakoda nails a single arm DDT to regain control.  Sakoda follows up with a rolling top rope flip into an arm bar.  Kidman gets to the ropes.  With Kidman down, Sakoda grabs Kidman's leg.  Kidman one leg kips up to his feet and hits an enziguri.  Kidman heads up top for the shooting star press to finish off Tajiri's henchman in 5:52.  (***)

Match #2

Shannon Moore vs Matt Morgan

Moore kick the larger man in the stomach and bails.  They cat and mouse around the ring.  The cat eventually wins and tosses the mouse into the barricade from the apron.  Morgan brings Moore back into the ring for hard irish whips into the turnbuckles and stands on Moore's throat.  Morgan hits a pair of back breakers separated by some strikes.  He knees Moore in the face and locks in a bear hug.  Morgan misses a clothesline, Moore lands a few strikes but a crossbody attempt is caught, and Morgan drops him on the top rope.  Morgan misses a charge allowing Moore to try a tights aided rollup for two.  Moore hits a corkscrew top rope dive, but Morgan hits a big boot to the flurry.  Sit down power bomb keeps Moore down in 4:30.  (*3/4)

Match #3

Rhyno vs Funaki

Funaki starts hot with punches, a high crossbody, and a pair of arm drags.  Rhyno bails to regroup.  Back in the ring, Funaki gets a head scissors but misses the follow up drop kick.  Rhyno crushes Funaki's midsection between his legs in a body scissors.  Rhyno gets up and lays in some strikes to Funaki's back.  Rhyno misses a charge and Funaki hits a bulldog.  The trade stiff chops until Funaki gets an enziguri.  Rhyno answers with a belly to belly suplex.  Funaki dodges the gore.  Funaki gets a school boy for 2.  Rhyno sheds Funaki on a tornado DDT attempt and plants him with a spinebuster.  A gore from Rhyno breaks Funaki in half and picks up the win in 5:00.  (**1/4)

Match #4

World's Greatest Tag Team of Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas vs Paul London and Spanky

Shelton Benjamin starts with some knees to Paul London. London stomps his foot, hits him with a drop kick and attempts a crucifix pin for a two count.  Benjamin comes back with an exploder suplex and grinds his forearm into London's face.  Blind tag to Haas, who clobbers Paul London from behind.  London flips his way free from an arm bar and tags in Spanky.  The hit a double fist drop onto Haas.  Shelton attempts a gorilla press, but Spanky escapes and attempts a rollup, followed by a drop kick.  Haas comes in and sends Spanky to the outside.  Blind tag to Benjamin, who gets a scoop slam, tags Haas back in for a double team back breaker.  Charlie Haas grabs an abdominal stretch, Spanky reverses into his own ab stretch.  Tag is made to Shelton who puts Spanky in a surfboard but Paul London breaks it up.  Haas is tagged back in for a dragon sleeper.  Benjamin gets tagged back in but just gets kicked in the face by Spanky.  Spanky ducks a clothesline and finally makes the hot tag to London.  London hits kicks, a dropsault, and a hurricanrana to clean house.  London hits a top rope stun gun followed by a spring board moosault.  The pinfall is broken up by Haas.  Haas then drops London on the top rope.  The heels attempt a broken arrow double team but Spanky breaks it up.  Haas hits an inverted atomic drop and Benjamin nails a super kick to out London's lights to get the win in 6:29.  (***1/2)

The only footage of this episode I can find joins the first match in progress.  Johnathan Coachman and Al Snow on the call. 

Match #1

Lance Storm vs Matt Hardy

Lance Storm hits a plancha and is fired up so I believe we might be hitting the home stretch.  We shall see.  Storm gets a springboard sunset flip back into the ring.  Hardy sends Storm to the apron by the tights and rams him into the turnbuckle.  Hardy gets a snap suplex for 2.  Matt locks in an arm and back stretch.  Storm breaks free with a jaw breaker, back elbow, clothesline, and a high knee for a 2 count.  Storm goes up and over in the corner and gets roll over fireman's carry for another 2 count.  Storm walks into a side effect for a 2 count.  Storm walks into a side effect for 2.  He misses a second rope leg drop.  Storm gets an Oklahoma roll and a clothesline.  Hardy follows Storm to the top rope.  Storm pushes him off, Storm misses a drop kick.  Hardy hits a twist of fate to pick up the win.  (** for what I saw)

Match #2

Mark Jindrak & Garrison Cade vs John Hennigan & Matt Cappotelli

The Season 3 Tough Enough champs make their debut here.  Snow is continuing his gimmick of calling Cade and Jindrak, Jade and Cindrak.  Cade and Cappotelli trade headlock takeovers.  Tag to Jindrak for a double ax handle to the arm.  Cappotelli gets a crossbody and Hennigan blind tags to get a rollup for 2.  Cade levels Hennigan with a back elbow.  Jindrak hits a back breaker.  Hennigan counters a powerbomb with a hurricanrana. Tags to Cappotelli for a double hip toss followed by a double kip up.  Cappatelli hits an elbow drop.  Jindrak nails a great flying clothesline.  He tags in Cade for an arm wringer who immediately tags out.  Jindrak hits an inverted atomic drop. Cappotelli flips out of a slam to get the hot tag to Hennigan.  He hits a series of drop kicks, flying forearm, and spin kicks.  Jindrak stun guns Hennigan with an assist by Cade to put away the rookie in 4:43. (**1/4)

Match #3

Randy Orton vs Val Venis

Orton gets a drop toe hold and grabs a head lock.  Val Venis gets two hip toss and grabs an arm bar.  He follows up with knees to the gut and a Russian leg sweep.  Val locks in an octopus lock but Orton gets to the ropes.  Orton grabs a headlock takeover.  Val escapes and works on Orton's left arm.  Val's boots come untied and Orton kicks him in the face when he goes to retie it.  They both attempt a move on the run at the same time and conk heads putting both men down as we go to commercial.  Back from break, Venis attempts a back slide for 2.  The match goes outside and Orton rams Val into the apron twice.  Back in for European uppercuts, hard irish whip.  Orton bends Val at the spine around ring the post.  Val attempts a suplex but his back gives out, which allows Orton to hit a back suplex of his own.  Orton continues to attack the back.  A Val sunset flip is followed by a neck breaker.  Venis continues with a half nelson slam and a spine buster.  He blocks an RKO attempt but he is able to get a spike DDT.  Orton lands some chops and locks in a sleeper.  Val slips out and hits a sit down powerbomb and three consecutive elbow drops. Val goes for the money shot off the top, but Orton intercepts.  Val is able to push him off and launches for the money shot only to land on Orton's raised knees.  Orton stalks and hits the RKO to get the win in 10:07.  (***1/4)

Orton will go on to defend the Intercontinental title against Rob Van Dam, tomorrow night on Raw. 

  

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 1/3/2004 & WWE Sunday Night Heat 1/4/2004

                                                   

                        Check out the podcast of Raw and Smackdown on the North South Connection!

Josh Mathews and Bill Demott will be doing the commentary on this episode of Velocity and welcome us to 2004!

The only video of this show that I could find had the top caught off.  Don't worry, Josh and Bill were not in a terrible Final Destination style accident.  

Match #1

A-Train vs Funaki

During the introductions, Josh Mathews jokes that this is the 2,385th meeting between to the two.  According to cage match this is their 28th and final meeting, including battle royals and house shows.  Ten of those matches were tag matches.  Of the 15 total televised non battle royals, this is their 8th singles match on Velocity.  Until this point, Funaki had managed to win one bout in the series which was on the 9/17/02 Velocity. 

Funaki kicks A-Train in the legs to break free of a choke slam attempt.  Funaki tries to control the Train with armbars but gets mowed down with a clothesline.  Funaki rolls away from several stomp attempts and exits the ring.  A cat and mouse game begins with Funaki getting the edge when Train gets back into the ring.  He jumps on Train's back and grabs a sleeper hold. Train smashes him into the corner turnbuckles.  A-Train misses a charge and Fuanki gets a roll up attempt for 2.  A-Train recovers with a big shoulder block to a sprinting Funaki.  He immediately follows up with the Train Wreck back breaker for the win a brisk fun 1:16. (* 1/2)  Final head to head record A-Train 7 Funaki 1.

Match #2

Doug and Danny Basham with Shaniqua vs Joel and Jose Maximo 

This match is very hard to writeup with the matching gear and their heads not shown on the screen, I will have the correct participant occasionally when commentary mentions it.  A Basham tosses a Maximo back after a few collar and elbow tie up attempts.  He hits a scoop slam but misses the elbow drop follow up and Maximo is able to scurry away and tag his brother.  Maximo is immediately driven into the corner and the Bashams tag.  A tilt-a-whirl head scissors allows for a tag to Jose Maximo who hits a top rope high crossbody for a 2 count.  Maximo grabs a head lock but the other Basham pulls the ropes down and he crashes to the floor.  Shaniqua gets a few shots in.  Back in the ring Doug Basham gets a leg drop and a hard irish whip.  The Bashams tag with some corner strikes and cheap shots and a headlock.  Jose Maximo gets jawbreaker on Danny to break free and tag out.  Joel Maximo cleans house with drop kicks.  The Maximos attempts a poetry in motion is stopped and caught mid air as one Maximo is slammed on the other.  High leg lariat after a switheroo to win for the tag champs after 4:48. (**1/2)

Jamie Noble is speaking to Nidia backstage.  

Jaime Noble tells Nidia, he doesn't know what Rey Mysterio said to her a few weeks ago on Smackdown, but since it came from Rey, it's a lie.  Nidia doesn't know what to think, because she loves Jaime very much but what Rey said makes a ton of sense.  She feels lost.  Noble can't believe that Nidia would believe a man in a mask over him.  He can't believe how much of his money he has had to spend on doctors only to get no where with her recovery.  Noble says there is a chance that she might not be able to ever see again.  Nidia says no, she will see again. She promises.  Noble says that if you want to promise something, promise you won't get involved in my match tonight.  She agrees.  

Match #3

Jaime Noble vs Brandon Groom

As Noble makes his entrance, Josh Matthews comments on the ridiculousness of not trusting wrestlers in masks.  DeMott says that the real people you shouldn't trust are people who don't speak English.  To start, Noble backs the larger Groom up and sweeps the leg and controls Groom with a headlock.  Groom gets a toss and a drop kick.  Groom tries to control but gets sent into the the turnbuckles hard and Noble lays in stomps in the corner.  Noble hits a suplex and locks in a arm and back stretch.  Groom escapes with a back suplex and follows it up with some clotheslines.  Noble lands a back elbow and attempts a neck breaker but Groom grabs the top rope causing Noble to crash and burn.  Groom gets an Oklahoma roll for 2.  Noble escapes hits his DDT and a dragon sleeper for the submission win in 3:35.  (*3/4) 

Match #4

Orlando Jordan & Shannon Moore vs Akio & Sakoda

Orlando Jordan takes down Sakoda, but Sakoda grabs an arm as they trade holds.  Jordan gets a shoulder block, hip toss, and a head lock takeover.  He tags in Shannon Moore who somersaults over the top rope into a sunset flip for a one count.  Sakoda tags out.  Moore gets a shoulder block a back leg sweep.  Moore goes up and over in the corner and nails a spinning heel kick for 2.  Akio turns a springboard crossbody into a rib breaker.  Sakoda tagged back in to stomp on the ribs, hit a back breaker, and hangs Moore in the tree of woe.  Orlando tries to come into the ring, which allows Tajiri's henchmen to lay the boots in the corner.  Akio hooks Moore in an abdominal stretch.  He sends Moore into the corner and Akio runs up his back and lands on his feet.  He charges again but Moore side steps and hip tosses Akio into the turnbuckles.  Hot tag to Jordan who has drop kicks and back body drops for everybody.  His Johnson shuffle homage gets interrupted and his gets taken out with a little high low from Akio and Sakoda.  Moore breaks up the fall.  Moore moonsault planchas outside onto Akio.  Jordan grabs Sakoda for a running powerslam to pick up the win in 4:57. (**3/4).

Our Sunday Night Heat cold open is a closeup of an ambulance logo with a piece of blue duct tape labeled Stevie Corp.  The camera pulls back reveals that it is not ambulance but a golf cart with the self proclaimed general manager of Sunday Night Heat, Steven Richards sitting proudly in the drivers seat.  Test arrives and he is not pleased.  Richards asks if he needs a ride.  Test does not in fact needs a ride.  He would however like to take Victoria for a ride.  The only reason Richards defeated him last week was because Victoria distracted.  She was in tight spandex, so Test just wanted to go up behind her and say, "yeah baby, it's me Test" while making his "o" face. Tonight, Test is going to beat up Richards so badly in their match tonight that he will never be able to please a women again that's where Test will step in, because once you go Test you forget about the rest.  Richards completely no sells this and says you sure you don't need a ride?  Test gets frustrated and kicks the cart only to hurt his foot and hop off upset.  

Match #1

Test vs Steven Richards with Victoria

On his entrance, Test flexes and licks his bicep.  Victoria gets her own entrance for this match.  Test clobbers Richards from behind while he admires his "Flower" on the ramp.  Test blows Victoria kisses.  Test tosses Richards into the ring and starts raining down fists.  Test locks in an odd for lack of a better term, sideways torture rack.  Richards pushes off the turnbuckles with his feet to escape.  Test attempts a full nelson slam, but Richards slips out of that.  Richards scores with a snap suplex, swinging neck breaker, and a bulldog for a 1 count.  Test takes over but Richards escapes a pump handle attempt, but this time falls victim to the pump handle.  Test ties him in the ropes, Andre the Giant style.  Victoria enters the ring and Test grabs her and plants one on her.  Victoria smiles, rubs his chest and kicks Test square in his quiz.  The referee has freed Richards, who gets a sloppy roll up while holding the ropes to pick up the victory in 3:30. (1/2*)

Match #2

Rico with Miss Jackie vs Brandon Groom

Rico spanks Groom.  Groom grabs a go behind and Rico bends over in a three point stance and grinds his buttocks into Groom's privates.  Rico goes on the attack with fists but falls victim to two hip tosses, scoop slam, and drop kick. Miss Jackie gets on the apron. Brandon Groom heads over to her but is still
able to duck Rico's clothesline attempt.  Groom charges Rico but Rico low bridges him to the outside.  Rico slams his head into the barricade ringside and then drapes him on the apron to kick Groom in his mouth.  Once in the ring again, Rico elbows Groom repeatedly in the head and hits a lifting kick.  Rico hits a sexualized elbow drop and pin cover for 1.  They trade chops.  A step up corner kick to the mush but Grooms down to the mat.  Rico heads to the top for a dive, but Groom gets the knees up. Three separate roll up attempts by Groom fail. Groom hits a spinning powerslam and heads to the top.  He misses a top rope crossbody and Rico finishes him with a devastating neck breaker in 3:48.  (*)

Match #3

Tommy Dreamer vs Matt Hardy

Matt Fact #1: Matt's first job was at a carwash.

Matt Fact #2 Matt is more extreme than Tommy Dreamer.

They trade slaps to begin.  Dreamer gets a scoop slam but Matt Hardy sends him to the outside by the tights and rams Tommy into the ring apron spine first.  Back in the ring, Matt gets a scoop slam, followed by a series of boots to Dreamer's gut.  Hardy heads to the top turnbuckle, but Dreamer pulls his leg and crotches him.  A Hardy back elbow sends Dreamer to the mat so that Hardy can miss a moonsault.  They reset with a strike exchange that Dreamer wins.  Dreamer delivers two separate styles of neck breakers, first swinging and then fall away. Dreamer hits a follow up death drop DDT.  Hardy turns a death valley driver into a side effect for a 2 count.  Hardy grabs Dreamer's kendo stick but misses with it.  Dreamer hits a sit out powerbomb.  Dreamer takes the cane up to the top and show boats to the crowd.  Hardy follows him up there and hits a twist of fate from the top to pick up the victory in 4:26.  (*1/2)

Match #4

Val Venis and Lance Storm wtih three ladies of the night vs La Resistance (Rene Dupree and Rob Conway)

Storm and Conway trade control holds, until. Lance goes up and over and nails a big punch to the face.  Conway scurries away to tag Dupree.  Lance controls until a tag to Val.  Val comes in and gets a scoop slam and they hit stereo elbow drops.  Dupree fires back with chops and forces Venis into the corner for the tag.  Conway is tagged in and connects on a back elbow, scoop slam, and a knee drop.  Val gets the boot up on a charge by Conway. Venis tries to climb to the top himself but gets pushed off by Dupree.  Dupree is tagged in and he exchanges strikes with Venis until Venis gets a half nelson slam. Both men are down.  Val crawls over and tags in Storm.  Storm is a house of fire with clotheslines and drop kicks.  He hits a steamroller and a springboard dropkick.  Dupree breaks the pin attempt.  Lance and Val attempt a double team maneuver but Dupree breaks that up as well.  Storm flips out of a slam attempt by Conway but Dupree grabs his foot from the floor.  This allows Conway to hit a devastating DDT and get the win in 5:43. (**)

Tomorrow night it's Raw in Memphis and Steve Austin is the sheriff!  What will that mean!?

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 12/6/2003 & WWE Heat 12/7/2003

 

For the audio podcast of this week's Raw and Smackdown click here.

It's the first Velocity of December

Match #1

Akio with Tajiri vs Funaki

Funaki drop kicks Tajiri out of the ring at the bell. He follows that up with a series of drop kicks to Akio, followed by 5 mounted punches in the corner.  Akio slides out from under Funaki and drops him face first on the top turnbuckle.  Akio chokes with his boot, before locking a sleeper hold on to Funaki.   Funaki counters to a backslide and then a school boy attempt until a jumping leg lariat mows him down.  A rope aided leg choke is applied by Akio and then grabs a key lock.  Funaki no sells a corner run up and hits a bulldog.  Akio misses a heel kick which lets Fuanki connect on an enziguri.  Funaki hits a hits a high cross body for a 2 count.  Tajiri grabs Funaki's leg, then Funaki gets caught up in the ropes on a back body drop botch.  Funaki gets kicked in the head on the pin attempt.  Akio then pins Funaki with his feet on the ropes. The real sloppy ending hurt this one in 4:37. (*3/4)

Match #2 

Kanyon & Chad Collyer vs Spanky & Paul London

Chad Collyer and Spanky start out trading grapples.  Spanky gets a couple of arm drags.  Kanyon yanks Spanky down by the hair from the apron.  Kanyon comes in on a tag and immediately eats a jumping leg lariat.  London is tagged in for a double hip toss and double fist drop.  Kanyon punches himself free and tags Collier in.  He gets a baseball slide and a leg lariat.  Tag to Spanky.  Japanese arm drag, standing moonsault for 2. Kanyon pulls the rope to send Spanky crashing to the floor.  Collyer gets a back suplex and tags in Kanyon.  Kanyon holds a delayed vertical suplex and then transitions a back breaker into a stretch.  Kanyon chucks Spanky into the turnbuckles. Kanyon attempts a top rope fireman's carry, but Spanky wriggles free and powerbombs Kanyon.  They both tag and Paul London cleans house with a drop kick to Kanyon, and simultaneously hits a moonsault to Collyer froa  2 count.  Kanyon attacks London from behind but Spanky takes him out with a missile drop kick.  Spanky misses a baseball slide and Kanyon lays him out with a huge punch on the outside.  Kanyon heads back to the apron and Spanky goes into the ring to hit the double team Get Well Soon with London to get the win over Collyer at the 7:04 mark.  Collyer's nose gets busted hard way on it. (**1/4)

Match #3

Orlando Jordan vs Greg Groothuis

Greg Groothuis gets a shoulder block and Jordan gets an arm drag.  They repeat the sequence, this time with an Orlando Jordan drop kick chaser.  Groothuis gets punches in the corner, an irish whip, and a corner splash.  OJ comes back with a jaw breaker, flying forearem, drop kick, back body body drop, a flurry of Johnson shuffle punches, before a mistimed neck breaker for the three count in 3:34. (1/4*)

Match #4 

Rhyno vs Bradshaw

Bradshaw gets a head lock take over, hard irish whip, a shot to the spine, as the match spills outside.  Bradshaw bangs Rhyno's head into the steps and they re enter the squared circle to exchange strikes.  Rhyno hit some shoulders in the corner and a short arm clothesline for 2.  Rhyno gets a snap mare into a headlock.  Bradshaw fights out and gets a DDT, quickly followed up with running clotheslines and suplex.  Rhyno attempts a cross body but Bradshaw catches him for the Last Call fallaway slam.  Rhyno pulls ref in the way of a clothesline from hell but gets the big boot for a pinfall at 5:46.  Rhyno does gore Bradshaw after the match during the the celebration. (*1/2)

Sunday Night Heat

Match #1

Victoria with Steven Richards vs Ivory

Victoria dominates a test of the strength into a version of a surfboard.  Ivory eventually works her way free, flip Victoria off of her and then gives her a giant swing.  Ivory drops Victoria face first on the top turnbuckle for snake eyes.  Ivory gets caught with a powerslam, and Victoria follows that up with a rope aided spinning leg drop.  Ivory gets a foot on the ropes to break the fall.  Victoria hits a back breaker, a tilt a whirl slam, and scoop slam.  Ivory moves out of the way of a moonsault and a drop kick to the face from Ivory afterwards.  Ivory gets a hurricanrana and then boots Ivory to the floor.  Stevie climbs on the apron, and Ivory plants a kiss on him.  Ivory turns around into the widowpeak as her horniness was her undoing.  I mean remember he insationableness is why D-Lo Brown brought her to the company years ago.  Victoria cover at 4:44 to win. (**).

Match #2

The Hurricane & Rosey vs Chad Collyer & Greg Groothuis

Collyer and Hurricane start out and trade grapples.  Collyer gets a hip toss.  Hurricane head scissors, Collyer to ret up a reverse unprettier.  He tags in Rosie so they can perform a double hip toss and Rosey hip tosses Hurricane on top off Collyer.  Rosey squishes him with a leg drop.  Collyer tags in the big man Groothuis, but he gets over powered by Rosey with clotheslines, heavy strikes in the corner and a belly to belly to suplex.  Tag to Hurricane for a top rope leg drop for a two count.  Hurricane whips Groothuis who almost hit Collyer on the apron.  The big fella stops short to avoid trucking his partner but Hurricane uses the distraction for a rollup attempt.  The kickout send Hurricane into Collyer's range for a cheap shot with a kick.  Collyer tags in and puts on a back stretch.  Hurricane gets a slam to escape and tags back in Rosey.  Rosey is a flurry of clotheslines, back body drop, and neck breaker.  He double clotheslines both local competitors and scoop slams Groothuis.  Hurricane leaps from Rosey's shoulders as the Tribal Chief is say atop the highest turn buckle for a splash to with in 4:49.  (*1/2)

Match #3 

Jon Heidenreich vs El Conquistador

El Conquistador appears to be portrayed by Nick Dinsmore. Don't use cagematch to verify as I am the one that suggested him.  But if you can find some other evidence please do so in the comments.  El Conquistador starts with some forearm strikes, dodges a big boot, and hangs Heidenreich on the top rope stun gun.  El Conquistador climbs to the top but gets caught and beeled across the ring.  Heidenreich scoop slams him for a two count.  Heidenreich starts beating on the Conquistadors leg.  Our Mexican friend gets loose and takes Heidenreich down with a chop block.  He follows with a drop kick and a Russian leg sweep.  A big boot by the big man ends the flurry.  He adds two giant clotheslines and a back body drop.  Heidenreich goes for a cover after a corner charge clothesline but El Conquistador gets his foot on the ropes.  An End of Days slam finishes in 3:30. (*1/2)  During Heidenreich's celebration Steven Richards appears out of nowhere to clobber him with a few chair shots in revenge for the shoot broken neck Heidenreich gave him last week.  

Match #4

Mark Henry with Theodore Long vs Maven

Before the match starts Teddy Long wants to holla at us playas.  He tells us that Mark Henry is the most dominant man in sports entertainment and the strongest man in the world.  Now stand up and show your respect to Mark Henry.  Any man in the back, a brown man, a green man, even a light skinned brotha. Get out here right now.   

Maven comes out and is immediately over powered.  Henry gets a giant shoulder block and clubbing blows.  Maven gets beiled across the ring and flattened with a pop up slam.  Henry misses a leg drop.  Maven hits him with two drop kicks which don't send Henry to the mat.  Henry brushes aside a third one.  Maven tries mounted punches in the corner.  Henry just throws him out of the ring.  Maven quickly scales the turnbuckles for a missile drop kick for 2.  Maven gets caught on the 2nd rope cross body and gets erased with a World's Strongest Slam for the win in 2:28.  (*1/4).

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 10/25/2003 & WWE Heat 10/25/2003 10/26/2003

To check out this week's Raw and Smackdown podcast "Ruthless" and all the fun that goes with that, just click this link.

This week Heat has been preempted on Sunday by Spike TV so it aired Saturday Night before Velocity. 

Saturday Night Heat with Johnathan Coachman and Al Snow

Match #1 

Hurricane/Rosey vs Arch Kincaid/Bobby Rude

Hurricane gives a mask to kid ringside.  Snow asks if it gave Coach flashbacks to when his parents would put a paper bag on his head.  Hurricane and Arch Kincaid start the action with Hurricane.  The super hero starts out with an arm bar, headlock, shoulder block combo and does the patented Hurricane pose.  Arch Kincaid hits a shoulder block and does a weird pose, apparently Kincaid wants to be known as the "Sexual Intellectual".  Hurricane hits another shoulder block and once again shows Kincaid the proper pose.  

Tag to Rosey, who locks in his own arm bar.  Kincaid tries several punches to Rosey's stomach but they have no effect, so he levels Kincaid with a clothesline.  A diving splash and falling headbutt leave Kincaid in a bad way. Kincaid rakes the eyes to tag in a bleach blonde Bobby Rude.  Rosey hits them with a double clothesline and tags in Hurricane for a top rope cross body for a two count.  Kincaid low bridges Hurricane and he topples to the outside. Back in the ring, Rude lays the boots.  Tag into Kincaid for a double suplex, and some weird soft heat butts to the ribs.  Tag back to Rude for a body slam, and jumping knee, and locks in a back stretch.  Hurricane hits a desperation tornado DDT.  They both crawl to make the tag.  Rosey's hot tag has clotheslines, a back body drop, sidewalk slam, body slam, super hero leg drop.  Rude attempts to break up the cover so Rosey moves and hits Kincaid.  Rosey stacks them in the corner for a double splash.  Hurricane hits a shining wizard.  The heroes hit their finish of a spinning Somoan drop combined with a neckbreaker combo to win in 6:39. (**)

Match #2

Tommy Dreamer vs Rico with Miss Jackie

They trade headlocks, til a Rico take down that allows him to ride Tommy like a pony.  Rico offers for Tommy to ride him now, but Dreamer kicks him in the gut.  Rico jumps into Dreamer's arms Bugs Bunny in a dress and Dreamer slams him after some playful eye contact.  Rico hits a back elbow and lots of kicks and rope added pin attempt fails.  Loud Rico sucks chants.  He hits a middle rope double ax handle.  While Rico distracts the referee, Miss Jackie comes in and hits a float over DDT.  A big clothesline from the top his blocked by Dreamer.  The Innovator of Violence gets an atomic drop and neck breaker for 2.  Rico avoids the death valley driver, but his powerbomb attempt is countered into a Spicoli driver.  Jackie puts Rico's foot on the rope to avoid the pinfall.  Dreamer hits a big DDT but Jackie runs in to stop the count and Dreamer plants a kiss on her.  He turns into spinning heel kick to pick up the win in 3:42. (*)

In the back, Rosey is about have a donut.  Hurricane flies in to stop him.  "This could be why you were stuck in a phone booth", The Hurricane informs his protégée. Rosey says that it's a protein donut.  John Heidenrich enters and says they are his favorite duo.  He wants a blurry jpeg photo of the three of them with his flip phone for Little Johnny.  They agree to the photo op.  Hurricane asks if Little Johnny wants to be in a photo, but Heidenrich says that little Johnny is camera shy and leaves.  Hurricane tells Rosey, no more donuts, so Rosey walks off dejected.  Hurricane takes a bite of the donut.

Johnathan Coachman is in the ring to announce his new role as the official book reviewer of Monday Night Raw.  He will begin with Lita' s book.  He says that it is a sham because she doesn't give him any credit for her come back from neck surgery even though he inspired her every week when they were the commentary team on Heat together.  The book should be in the fiction section.  Lita comes out, and says that Coach did inspire her.  She was inspired to quit broadcasting and get back into the ring because Coach was such a pain to deal with.  Coach says he's 6'4 230 pounds and she should watch what she says.  Leave and let him finish his business.  She asks to be allowed to apologize to Coach.  Words can't express how sorry she is so she would like to show him physically.  The gently touches coach's arm and then boots him in the gut which sends him between the ropes and to the floor.  

We are show the Road Warrior Hawk tribute video.  

Match #3 

Val Venis vs Steven Richards with Victoria

Steven Richards comes out wearing a towel and mocks Val's entrance, but Val attacks before he can finish it.  Lots of punches, elbows, and kicks, until Val hits a Russian leg sweep.  Victoria grabs Val's leg which allows Richards to hit a DDT.  He heads to the top but Val hits the ropes to crotch him.  Val hits a clothesline, shoulder block, half nelson slam, and powerbomb for a 2 count.  Val goes up for the money shot but Richards gets the knees up.  Val gets the boot up on a charge and gets a fisherman suplex, but Victoria has the ref's attention.  Val makes camera motions because apparently he wants to film her for a movie made in the 1940's.  She goes to punch Val but he ducks and instead connects with Richards.  Val hits a spinebuster and then a leg lock that Richards has to tap out to because Victoria can't save him since she is very busy yelling at her fist in 4:54. (*1/4)

Velocity 

Josh Matthews as play by play and Michael Cole on color.

Michael spends most of the evening just being awful to Matthews to varying degrees of success.  But it is very weird and awkward.  Maybe we will get a similar Josh storyline on Smackdown that we got with Coach on Raw.

Match #1

Shannon Moore vs Orlando Jordon 

Orlando Jordon starts with a shoulder block and a hip toss.  Moore pokes the eyes and trips Jordon onto the ropes.  He starts laying in kicks to the head and chokes him.  Moore hits a snap suplex and a side back suplex.  OJ gets a boot up on a top rope flying nothing.  Jordon got the leg up with Moore even jumped so it looked extra stupid.  Jordon nails a flying forearm and follows it up with a back body drop and a Johnson shuffle series of punches to get a 2 count.  OJ gets caught on a corner charge with a boot by Moore who follows up with a leaping leg lariat from the middle rope.  Moore throws a tantrum after the 2 count.  He walks right into a swinging neck breaker for the win in 3:46. (*)

Match #2

Spanky & Paul London vs Rob Bagley & Mike Taylor

Spanky starts out with Bagley.  Both jobbers have platinum blonde bleached hair and served in the military.  Bagley hits a shoulder block but is quickly brought down with a drop toe hold.  He tags in Paul London who hits a sunset flip, but a kick to the guy allows for the tag to Mike Taylor.  London hits a monkey flip in the corner and Spanky nails a top rope cross body for 2.  Spanky hits a flip over drop kick on Taylor but Bagley catches him for a stun gun.  It's neck vise time.  Tag out to Bagley who locks in his own neck vise.  Riveting stuff.  Spanky rolls through to tag London.  London hits several drop kicks, avoids a double suplex.  Both jobbers are sent outside after suplexes and get hit with stereo suicide dives.  A STO shining wizard combo end it for the brand new team in 5:03 (**)

The APA are walking in the hall talking about how they wished Britney Spears would kiss Jenna Jameson.  They are aghast to see London and Spanky at their poker table.  The rookies want to celebrate their first big win.  Bradshaw is upset that they drank some of their beer and ate their popcorn.  He is so upset that he dumps other beer and popcorn on Spanky.  Bradshaw suggests that they should beat them up. Spanky begs for mercy.  Bradshaw lightens up a bit and says that in order to make in this business you have you bust your ass and Faarooq adds to drink your ass off.  Kendrick grabs a beer and pours it in his mouth.  He slumps over to the floor.  He must have had quite the head start.  The APA thinks he has some potential.  London says he doesn't drink but he'll try.  The camera pans to Faarooq who says, "Damn."

Match #3

Rey Mysterio & Ultimo Dragon & Kidman vs FBI

During the entrances Matthews says the FBI are an Italian Dream Team, the faces are an International Dream Team, Cole interrupts Matthews to say that Matthews' team is the Wet Dream Team.  What? 

Ultimo Dragon and Nunzio start out.  Nunzio gets on a kick attempt for a leg sweep.  Double back elbows as tags are made.  Kidman squares off his Johnny the Bull now.  Kidman gets an arm drag, head scissors, and clothesline for 2.  Chuck Palumbo pulls Kidman down from the apron so the heels can take advantage.  Polumbo is tagged in and starts beating Kidman in the corner, a snap mare, and spinal tap kick, neck vise.  Kidman escapes for a drop kick but gets squished with a somoan drop quickly to stop Kidman from tagging.  Kidman is able to get a hurricanrana and tags in Rey.  Nunzio is in now and gets hit with flying cross body, flapjack, and a drop kick.  Johnny the Bull comes in and sent out.   A seated senton to Palumbo.  Nunzio is kicked to the middle rope but The Bull pulls Nunzio away from the 619 and Palumbo crushes Rey.  We have a unicorn rarity moment, and two segment match on Velocity!

We're back with Rey being picked apart in the corner by the FBI.  Johnny the Bull chokes Rey.  Nunzio is in for boots and starts doing taunting jumping jacks. He locks in a neck vise.  Mysterio escapes and gets a bulldog but Palumbo runs in and pulls Rey away from making the tag and irish whips Rey hard into the corner.  Nunzio and Johnny the Bull pull Reys legs to crotch him against the ring post.   It's Nunzio and Ultimo Dragon in the ring now and Nunzio tries to back body drop him but Dragon lands on his feet and tees off on Nunzio with a series of lightning fast kicks.  He gives Palumbo a drop kick and a head scissors for Stamboli and a springboard moonsault to Nunzio.  The bigger FBI guys catch the Dragon for a double team slam.  Kidman breaks up the cover.  Johnny the Bull holds Kidman but Kidman ducks and Palumbo decks The Bull.  Springboard dropkick to Palumbo in the corner by Mysterio. Kidman baseball slides into his yambag, and immediately planchas onto Stamboli outside.  Dragon hits a series of kicks on Nunzio, goes for a running move of some sort but we'll never know as Palumbo mows him down with a huge kick.  Nunzio covers for the win in 10:22.  (**3/4)

RuthlessCEE Aggresive: Heat and Velocity reviews (October 11th and 12th, 2003)

 

For the Ruthless podcast which covers Raw and Smackdown from this week in audio form, click here.

We start off on our Slamming Saturday Night being greeted by Josh Mathews and Taz.  

Match #1 

Rey Mysterio vs Kanyon

Kanyon backs Rey into the corner, misses some blows but takes back control with some elbows to the back of the head.  Rey ducks a few clotheslines but gets cut down with a kick to the stomach.  Josh Mathews says that Rey is like Dante Hall, the human joystick.  Haven't heard about the Chiefs kick return specialist in a long time.  Mysterio reverses a powerbomb attempt into a hurricanrana.  Rey slams Kanyon's head into each turnbuckle a few times and then the mat once for good measure.  Rey sends Kanyon into the turnbuckle and then proceeds to bust his bronco. Kanyon lands on the middle rope after a drop toe hold, but wisely bails before the 619 can be hit.  Rey hits him with a drop kick through the ropes instead.  Rey goes for a dive outside but Kanyon catches him and tosses him into the barricade.  Kanyon puts him up against the ring post in the ring and crushes him with a baseball slide. Kanyon then grabs Rey's head and legs and folds him around the post some more.  Kanyon gets a 2 count.  Kayon buries his knee into Rey's spine for a submission attempt.  Rey almost escapes twice only to get taken back down into the hold.  Mysterio finally does break free and goes for a tilt-a-whirl only for Kanyon to catch him with a vertical suplex for another 2 count.  Mysterio slides down Kanyon's back and hits a reverse DDT for a near fall.  Rey crawls between Kayon's legs for a quick kick to the knee and then a baseball slide into the groin.  Rey goes to the top for a seated senton for a two count.  Kanyon catches Rey on a another dive attempt and takes two back breakers.  Kanyon tries to get the cover with his feet on the ropes, but the referee catches him.  They fight with Rey on the apron.  Rey climbs the ropes and bulldogs Kanyon on to the second rope on the other side of the ring in a really cool spot that I don't remember ever seeing before.  Mysterio hits the 619 and the west coast pop to gain the win in 7:22 (*** 1/2)

Match #2 

Matt Hardy vs Tyson Dux

Tyson Dux gets an entrance.  He does some weird convulsion dance that Tazz and Josh are fans of from a previous match.  Dux had several dark matches at TV tapings but he last was televised from the previous October in a loss to Chavo on Velocity.  Dux starts out in control with a snap mare and drop kick.  He mocks the V1 hand signal and yell and hits a head scissors for a 2 count.  Matt catches Dux for a side effect, snake eyes, and leaping clothesline. Hardy stands on Dux's head but surprises Hardy with a roll up for 2.  Hardy locks in an arm stretch, but Dux escapes and hits a DDT to put both men down.  Dux is up first and hits Hardy with a drop kick.  Dux heads to the top for a crossbody and Hardy kicks out at 2.  Dux starts move epilictic dancing and mocking of V1.  He heads back to the top where Hardy cuts him off with some punches and takes him out with a top rope Twist of Fate for the win in 4:32. (*3/4)

Match #3

Billy Kidman vs Bobby Rude in a purple cape

Kidman starts with a hurricanrana in the ring and follows it up with hurricarana to the floor.  Kidman attempts a dive to the outside but misses.  Rude lays in the boots and tosses him into the barricade. Rude tosses him back into the ring for some elbow drops.  Kidman fires back but gets cut down with an underhook suplex.  Kidman comes back again this time with a dropkick, flying forearm, clothesline, back body drop, but gets caught with a tilt-a-whirl back breaker.   Kidman escapes a suplex and gets a roll up for two.  A glorious spinebuster by Rude.  Kidman hits a enziguri that puts Rude's lights out and follows it up with a shooting star press for the win in 4:24. (**)

In the back, Matt Hardy says that he is so proud of Shannon because of his win over Zach Gowen on Thursday on Smackdown.  He is going to reward him with a special gift this week on Smackdown.  

Match #4

Charlie Haas vs Funaki

Haas take Funaki down with a headlock and controls Funaki on the mat.  They trade leg sweeps and pin attempts.  Funaki gets mowed down by a clothesline.  Funaki chops back but gets caught and face planted on the top turnbuckle and then Haas crushes him with a back breaker.  Haas sends him into the corner with a hard irish whip.  Hass then locks in an arm bar.  Funaki fights free and hits a neck breaker.  Then Funaki has a flurry of a reverse DDT, dropkick, and a bulldog but only gets a near fall.  Funaki goes for a crossbody but Haas rolls through for a 2 count.  Haas pushes Funaki off of a Rising Sun DDT attempt and locks in the Haas of Pain for the submission for the victory in 5:15. (*3/4)

It's time for Heat as we are greeted by Al Snow and The Coach.  

Match #1

Test with sad Stacy Keibler vs Tommy Dreamer with an emotionless Singapore cane

Test starts out with a body slam but misses the big elbow drop.  Tommy Dreamer does a weird strut that Stacy and our commentary team make seem like is mocking Test, but I don't get it.  Dreamer tosses Test over the top after dodging a charge.  Dreamer hits him with a baseball slide.  On the outside, Test pulls Stacy in front of him as a human shield.  Test uses the distraction to impale Tommy on his testicles on the barricade.  Test tosses Dreamer back in the ring and hits some heavy corner running clotheslines.  He celebrates with some jumping jacks.  Test attacks with a body slam but his top rope double ax handle is met with a boot.  Tommy gets his first sequence of the match with a neck breaker and a Russian Leg Sweep.  Test gets back the advantage with a full nelson slam.  Test goes for the big boot but Stacy grabs his leg to prevent it.  Stacy surprisingly hangs Test's throat on the top rope. Test stumbles into a dreamer bomb for a near fall.  Keibler tells Dreamer that he should hit a flip off the top rope onto Test and he agrees with this plan, showing that neither one of them has ever watched a Tommy Dreamer match in their lives.  Test kicks the ref into the ropes and Tommy does damage to his testicles yet again.  Test goes for the cover and tries to put his feet on the ropes but Stacy knocks them off.  Test grabs Tommy's kendo stick and goes to blast Tommy with it but Stacy enters the ring and tries to disarm him.  Test goes to crack Stacy with the weapon but Tommy successfully disarms him.  Dreamer goes to hit Test but the big man moves and Tommy pulls up before he hits Stacy.  The momentary lapse in judgment allows Test to hit the big boot and get the win in 4:47. (*1/2)

Teri interviews Val Venis.  She asks about why Val had a camera last week.  He makes some comments about how they used to hook up back in the day and then explains that he has started his own adult movie company.  Venis Video Productions.  He is looking for hot chicks to be in his movies but since he will behind the camera he is also looking for the next Great American Super Stud.  He says Great American Super Stud several times. I did not know this was the specific name for this role.  He will be going all over America to find them so every one should be getting ready for the camera.  

Match #2

Val Venis vs Eric Young

Val and Eric trade arm bars to start.  Val bring him down and wrenches on the arm a bit more.  Val hits a shoulder block and a Russian leg sweep which is mixed in with a few knees to the midsection.  Eric Young gets in control with a DDT, back body drop, and back breaker.  The advantage is short lived as Val takes back over with a clothesline flurry, back body drop and finishes the Canadian with a Money Shot in 4:08. (*)

Match #3

The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray and Devon) defend the World Tag Team Titles vs La Restiance (Rob Conway, Renee Dupree with Sylvain Grenier)

 

The Dudleys make quick tags to start and dominate Rene Dupree with strikes.  Loud "USA" chants from the crowd.  Eventually the heels corner Devon and get their own set of quick tags and strikes.  Devon breaks free with a spinning elbow and body slam.  All four men in the ring as Bubba squishes both heels in the corner and Las Resistance bails before we head to commercial break.

Back from commercial, Dupree and Bubba are the legal men as we return.  The non legal heels grab Bubba by the feet and crush his testicles on the ring post, not a great night to be an ex ECW wrestlers' testicles.  Dupree hits a back body drop on Bubba and this sets the heels up for several more quick tags and strikes followed by a Dupree neck vice.  Eventually Conway hooks in a sleeper but Bubba hits a belly to back suplex to spring free.  He makes the tag but the heels have distracted the referee so he doesn't let Devon in the ring.  Bubba immediately hits a desperation Bubba bomb and this time the ref sees the hot tag.  Devon comes in and hits a few slams and clotheslines on the heels.  Bubba blind tags back in and they go for the 3D but are unable to hit it, but settle for a reversed 3D but the count is broken up.  Sylvain gets on the apron and distracts the referee but the plan backfires as the Devon hits the Wazzzup head butt splash.  Bubba inquires to Devon if would locate the tables because they must have company coming over for dinner.  When Devon gets under the ring, Sylvain wipes him out.  In the ring Conway accidently hits Sylvain when he heads up on the apron.  Dupree take over Bubba in the ring but Devon has recovered and sneaks in for the 3D to pick up the victory in 6:47 (**1/4).

Will someone cash in on the bounty on Bill Goldberg?  Tune in tomorrow night.