RuthlessCEE Aggresive: Heat and Velocity reviews (September 6/7, 2003)

                                                                        

Our announcers this week are Josh Matthews and thankfully for the second week in a row, Taz.  

                                                                             Match #1

                                                            Nunzio vs Billy Kidman

The cruiserweights trade lock ups.  Kidman dodges three strikes from Nunzio and stops short on a leapfrog attempt in a funny spot.  Kidman hits a head scissors and transitions immediately into 4 mounted corner punches.  He gets caught on the top rope by Nunzio who drapes his arm over the top rope.  Nunzio leg drops on the arm, and digs his knee into Kidman's elbow.  Kidman punches his way free but Nunzio takes back control with a single arm DDT on the injured wing for a 2 count.  He then locks in a hammerlock.  Kidman breaks loose again and hits a dropkick.  They trade forearms.  Kidman takes control of the match with a flying forearm, backdrop, and a shoulder tackle to net a 2 count.   He goes for the BK bomb but his arm gives out and eats a drop kick to the face.  Kidman gets a desperation roll up for 2 which Nunzio repays with a spike DDT for his own 2 count.  Kidman hits a nice enziguri heads to the top rope for a shooting star press.  Nunzio joins him at the job and lands some punches but Kidman fires back and hits a BK bomb from the top for the win in 5:37 (** 3/4)

                                                                            Match #2

                                                                                

  Orlando Jordan vs Sean O'Haire

O'Haire is already in the ring, but that may have been just the edit that I was able to find.  This match is the Tazz show.  He is just zinging one liners on Josh the whole time, and it was a good time for it as this match, was lots of rest holds and sloppy transitions.  So this match review is going to look a little different.  The match had 6 arm holds and 8 arm drags, 2 dropkicks, and partridge in a pear tree.  But on commentary, it was a great time.  

Josh Matthews: Jordan is a ladies man and that he beats the ladies off with a stick.

Tazz: He hits women with a stick? That's not right.

(After OJ goes for a cover in the first ten seconds of the match)

JM: Jordan trying to win early

Tazz: No, he's trying to wear his opponent out, forcing them to kick out, he knows he isn't going to win that early

JM: Maybe he wants to hurry up and get to the ladies.  

Tazz: Maybe you should be trust me about wrestling despite all of the matches that you had on Tough Enough that you lost.

(After OJ does the Johnson Shuffle to honor his trainer, Rocky Johnson)

Tazz: How do you shuffle your Johnson?

(During another rest hold by O'Haire)

Tazz: Josh, would you let me handle talking about the moves.  

JM: Well I made here with you so I must be doing something right.

Tazz: No you're here with me because I must have done something wrong.

Eventually O'Haire wins with his finisher reverse DDT from the shoulders. (Josh describes it as that) in 6:07. (1/2* match *** 1/4 commentary.)

                                                                    Match #3

                                                                                

                                        Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore (Carolina Connection per Tazz)

                                                                            vs

                                        Ultimo Dragon and Funaki (Tokyo Express per Tazz)

                        Matt Fact #1:  Matt and Shannon have more Mattitude than other teams

                        Matt Fact #2: Matt enjoys ginger root after eating sushi

    Shannon Moore and Ultimo Dragon start for their teams.  Moore yanks the Dragon down by his mask.  The two exchange some leap frogs and quick rope running and strike dodging.  They both tag their partners and Matt eats arm drags, dropkick and head scissors.  Moore grabs Funaki and pulls him out of the ring.  Funaki takes a beating outside.  Moore hits a swinging neck breaker on Funaki and then hangs him on the middle rope and hip attacks him.  Matt tags back in and for a side slam for a two count and quick tag back to Moore.  Moore hits a side suplex and get his own two count. He throws a tantrum.  Matthews says that Moore must not have taken his Ridilin.  Tazz asks what football helmets have to do with it.  Funaki dodges a splash in the corner and hits a bulldog.  Both men tag and the Dragon hits a drop kick and a leg lariat.  Quick kicks to Shannon Moore and then to Hardy.  SM gets nailed with an Asai DDT.  Dragoon escapes a twist fate attempt and super kicks to Matt Hardy in the mush.  Blind tag to Funaki who hits Matt with a crossbody off the top.  Funaki collides with Moore on the apron, which allows Hardy to hit a side slam for a pinfall broken up by Dragon.  Ultimo flew over the top rope at Moore to take both men out.  Funaki tries a school boy for 2. Matt Hardy hits a twist of fate to get the victory for his team in 5:20 (***)

                                                                          Match #4

                                                                                        

The Full Blooded Italians Johnny the Bull Stamboli and Chuck Palumbo

vs 

Jaime Noble and Billy Gunn

The Bull and Gunn start off Gunn requests that Chuck start with him.  At no point during the match do Tazz and Josh mention that Billy and Chuck were former tag champs together.  Chuck offers a handshake to Billy, when Billy goes for it, Chuck slaps him.  The pair exchange heavy fists, Gunn clotheslines Chuck over the top rope.  Both men tag out.  The Bull overpowers Noble for a bit until the craft Noble picks the leg and lays in some stomps.  The Bull ducks out of harms way and rolls to the outside.  Palumbo heads in and fights off quick thigh kicks from Noble to send him into the ropes, where the Bull yanks him out for a beating.  After being tossed back in, Palumbo hits a buckle bomb.  At this point the Bashams and Shaniqua come out on the ramp to watch.  On Smackdown the Thursday before Shaniqua came out and laid waste to Torrie Wilson and Nidia, the faces' love interests.  

Jaime Noble hits a desperation jaw breaker but gets cut off before he can make the tag.  He gets a storm of quick tags and boots in the corner by the FBI.  Noble rolls out of danger and gets the hot tag to Mr. Ass.  Gunn clears house, eventually setting up for the famouser but gets caught in mid air by both FBI members for the Bada Bing.  Noble breaks the count, but gets creamed by a super kick from Chuck.  This time Gunn hits the famouser after Palumbo misses giving Gunn a super kick of his own to gain the victory in 6:21 (**).  The Bashams continue to look on from the ramp but they decline Gunn's offer to come down for a fight.  Tune into Smackdown for the parking lot brawl between John Cena and Eddie Guerrero.  

As we flip the day forward to Sunday, we are joined by the new heel duo of Johnathan Coachman and Al Snow. 

                                                                            Match #1

Val Venis vs Slater Vain

The match starts off with the wrestling school intro of irish whips, drop downs, missed clotheslines etc....  It ends in dueling hip tosses to a face off to no reaction.  Vain offers his hand but quickly clotheslines Val's head off.  He drops several double axe handles.  Vain follows them up with a body slam and a suplex for a 2 count.  Vain locks in a stretch on Val's back.  He breaks the hold with a kick to the spine.  Val gets back into it with a shoulder block and some clotheslines.  He goes for a suplex but his back gives out.  Vain goes off the ropes and Val catches him with a spine buster.  He heads up top and hits the Money Shot for the victory in a quick 3:56 (3/4*).  Coach and Snow mostly talk about themselves and their actions from Raw and pay the match little attention.  Hopefully they were just getting the explanation out of the way, because that will be tough for the entire episode.  

La Resistance is shown in the back looking at the newest episode of RAW magazine which has the Dudley's on the cover.  They are disgusted that the Dudleys are on the cover and not them.  The Master of Disguise that was been helping them approaches.  He is also upset at the cover choice. They head off to the ring while Coach tells up we will see the debut of Rob Conway next.  Which I believe is the first time you have ever heard his name.  

                                                                              Match #2

Spike Dudley vs Rob Conway with La Restiance (Sylvan Grenier and Rene Dupree)

Spike attacks prebell and hits a top rope double ax handle to the outside.  He then runs on Conway's chest in the corner.  A USA chant breaks out.  Conway drapes Spike over the top rope and hits an impressive swinging neck breaker.  Conway starts nailing some punches in the corner but Spike wriggles free and uncorks a few of his own.  Conway sends Spike hard into the corner and then gets kneed in the face.  Spike gets head scissors on a corner charge and rams Conway's head into the corner.  Spike heads to the top rope but Conway joins him.  Spike bites Conway on the hand and pushes him back to the canvas and hits a top rope stomp.  The runt of the Dudley litter, hits some headbutt battering rams but gets caught with a hangman on the top rope.  He recovers and tries to hit a Dudley Dog but Rob Conway reverses it into a spinning neck breaker for the win in 4:14 (*).

Match #3

Tommy Dreamer vs Jimmy Yang

An ECW chant breaks out before the action starts as both competitors push and shove each other.  Tommy Dreamer catches Yang's crossbody attempt into a fallaway slam and a suplex.  Yang snares Dreamer with a drop hold to smash his face on the middle turnbuckle.  Yang charges and hits a hip splash that takes him over the top rope and then immediately pulls himself back in Royal Rumble style.  He then locks in an interesting leg choke (above) that the ref forces him to break.  Yang puts a few boots to a downed Innovator of Violence and heads over to Dreamer's kendo stick and breaks it. This fires of Tommy who hits a clothesline, swinging neck breaker, and sit down spine buster for 2. He goes for the Death Valley Driver but Yang reverses it with a DDT.  Yang heads to the top and crashes and burns on corkscrew moonsault.  Tommy takes advantage and plants Yang with a DDT sold like a million bucks to win in 3:30 (* 1/2).

Match #4

Mark Henry and Rodney Mack with Theodore Long vs Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak

Mack and Cade start off the festivities, with Cade getting the advantage with a bevy of punches or elbows.  He tags in Jindrak who hits a few flying forearms and big drop kick.  However he misses a splash in the corner, allowing Mack to take over.  Mack beats the youngster about the head and neck and his a spinning slam.  Mack locks in a headlock.  Eventually Mack throws Jindrak into the corner but he hits a springboard clothesline and gets the hot tag to G-Unit, which is want Al Snow says that the guys call him in the locker room in case you weren't aware that it was 2003. Cade hits a knee lift and a running forearm.  He goes for a second one but Henry clubs him in the back of the head from the outside.  Henry officailly enters the match for the first time and chucks Cade across the ring and then splashes him in the corner.   Jindrak comes in to stop the bleeding and gets wiped out instead.  Henry plants Cade with a huge World's Strongest Slam for the dominant win in 3:56 *1/4.

Tune in tomorrow night for Kane vs Rob Van Dam inside a solid steel cage which will kick off the show at 9 PM Eastern. 

                    

RuthlessCEE Aggresive: Heat and Velocity reviews (August 30/31, 2003)

 

We get a treat this week as filling in for The Cat tonight on Velocity is Tazz.  He will repeatedly accidentally calls Josh Matthews, Cole.  It felt like genuine slip ups and not a running gag. 

Match #1

Billy Gunn with Torrie Wilson vs Doug Basham with Danny Basham and Shaniqua

Billy Gunn attacks as the Bashams make their way to the ring.  This allows them to double team the Assman legally because the match hasn't started yet.  Jaime Noble and Nidia make their way down to even the odds.  They trade punches and kicks, until Doug hits a springboard elbow, running clothesline, and knee drop.  This gets the crowd to chant for Torrie.  Doug has a chinlock and Tazz says that it is an S & M move.   Tazz then also informs Josh that he agrees with Bradshaw that Shaniqua and Benjamin are the same person.  Billy Gunn hits a back suplex to both me down.  Go behind by Doug who sets up a very sexualized pump handle slam.  Bully Gunn rolls through and kicks Doug in the mush.  He hits One and Only which is cobra clutch slam.  Tazz mocks Josh for losing to Shaniqua on Tough Enough.  Josh says that were on the different seasons.  Tazz, "Oh yeah, it was Nidia who beat you."  

Gunn hits a series of clotheslines and tilt a whirl slam for a 2 count.  Billy hits a splash in the corner and hits the Famousser.  Shaniqua tosses a chair into the ring.  This distracts the ref.  Noble runs over but eats a huge boot from Shaniqua.  Danny sneaks in behind the ref's back and hits Gunn with Shaniqua's whip, and switches places to get the pin in 5:21 ** 3/4.

In the locker room, The World's Greatest Tag Team is trying to get Shelton Benjamin over being called Shaniqua.  Haas says that he knows that Benjamin isn't Shaniqua but he wants to prove it to Shelton, so he gives Shelton a black long haired wig to try on.  Haas says this will work because he is a scholar and Bradshaw is dumb because he went to Albaline Christian.  Haas laughs at him when Benjamin has his back turned but goes back to serious when he isn't hidden.  Haas offers lipstick as well to make sure and while this is being negotiated Bradshaw walks past them in the doorway.  He calls over Faarooq and Bradshaw starts taking pictures.  The champs yell at the APA to leave and Bradshaw cackles and runs off to get the pictures developed.  Faarooq lingers but does not drop at "damn" much to my surprise.  Orlando Jordan walks by and says, "Hi Charlie, Hi Shaniqua."

Match #2

Shannon Moore vs HD Yates

Moore gets out the of the initial hammer lock with a reverse elbow.  Shannon has new tights and new tattoo according to Josh.  Moore hangs Yates on the middle rope and hits a running knee while on the apron.  That'll get Yates seeing in high definition.  Moore strikes with a back handspring escape into a swinging neck breaker.  Yates again is placed on the middle rope this time allowing Matt Hardy to yell "VEEEEE Onaaa" in his face before Moore serves up a knee to the back.  Now Mathew uses a High Definition joke, which I had beaten by one move sequence in write up time but he beat me in real time by 21 years so let's call it a draw.  Yates gets his first offense of the match with a flurry of punches by Yates and powerslam for a 2 count.  Shannon Moore gets back advantage with a corner corkscrew for a two count.  Moore throws a tantrum.  Moore lands a few boots to the face and climbs to the top for a float over neck breaker for the win in 5:12.  *1/2

Match #3

#1 Contender's Match for the Cruiserweight Championship

Billy Kidman vs Tajiri

(Full disclosure: I can't keep up the pace of the match)

The match begins with chain wrestling with each trading control.  Kidman hits a head scissors and an arm drag.  Tajiri hits one of his own and they stare off.  The crowd applauds.  Kidman catches Tajiri with a drop toe hold and then lands several hard elbows to the back of Kidman's neck.  A corkscrew elbow gets a 2 count and Kidman locks in a headlock.  Tajiri breaks free to hit a jumling spinning heel kick for a 2 count.  They trade chops.  Tajiri goes for a hand spring elbow but Kidman catches him with a drop kick which elicits an "ooohh" from the crowd.  Tajiri misses a kick attempt and Kidman tries to roll him up.  He throws Tajiri hard into the corner but the Japanese buzzsaw comes back with a super kick. His Michinoku driver only gets a nearfall.  Tajiri slaps Kidman hard in the chest which leads Tazz to start talking about nipples for awhile.  About Tajiri can slap your nipples clean off your chest and leave your ariolas damaged.  He says your nipples make this sound when Tajiri slaps them, and makes a foghorn sound.  Kidman hits a springboard elbow but Tajiri locks in the tarantula.  Kidman hits a powerbomb and an enziguri.  Kidman tries to drag Tajiri in position for the shooting star press, but Tajiri kicks him in the head. Kidman falls back and cracks heads with the referee.  While the ref is getting his bearings back, Tajiri blows green mist in Kidman's face and rolls him up for the win in 6:38 *** 3/4. Josh tells us to tune in this week on Smackdown to see Tajiri challenge Rey Mysterio for the title.  

Match #4

The World's Greatest Tag Team vs APA

Bradshaw and Charlie Haas start off.  Haas gets a drop toe hold and headlock, Bradshaw works free with a back body drop and then hits a suplex.  Haas tags in Shelton but he eats a couple of shoulder blocks.  Bradshaw tags in Faarooq.  A double team move of a body slam into a shoulder tackle by Faarooq.  Faarooq sends Haas hard into the turn buckle and a powerslam.  Haas hits a drop kick to the knee.  WGTT both attack the knee.  Faarooq eventually gets the tag.  Bradshaw gets a kick to the head and a swinging neck breaker.  Both men tag their partners.  Faarooq hits a power slam and a spinebuster.  The APA hit a double shoulder block to Shelton.  Outside the ring Shelton sends Bradshaw into the post.  Benjamin reenters the ring and kicks Faaroo1 in the mush allowing Haas to roll up Faarooq for the win in 5:59 ** 3/4.

I could not find the entire episode. It's probably being kept hidden because it is probably too hot for TV with newly heel Coach on commentary.  

Match #1 to me

Test with a reluctant Stacy Keibler vs Derrick Neikirk

Test enters the ring like Stacy normally does and when Stacy tries to enter the ring, Test won't allow it.  Test slaps Neikirk but the local competitor fires back with his own slap, a flurry of right hands, and flying foreman.  Test immediately lands several big clotheslines in the corner.  This gives him the chance to show Stacy his buttocks.  She is not pleased.  He makes Stacy get up on the apron to towel his sweaty brow.  When Test turns around he catches a drop kick in his now dry forehead.  Test grabs him and goes for a power bomb that gets reversed into a rollup for 2.  Test is through playing around and decapitates Neikirk with the big boot to win in 2:59. *

Earlier Today

Al Snow is backstage sitting on a production crate looking at a magazine centerfold.  Stevie Richards shows up and shover a microphone in his hand and pretends Al is here to interview him.  Stevie says that here on Must Steve TV, that Stevie Night Heat has combined with Stevie Corp to create the most amazing show.  At this point Ivory comes over to say hello.  Stevie thanks her for work on his show and caresses her shoulder.  Ivory is disgusted and warns Stevie to keep his hands off of her.   Victoria now joins her man and Stevie says that Ivory is trying to get into his pants.  Victoria snaps and calls Ivory a hussy.  "You are the village bicycle and everyone has had a try.  If you want my man you have to have me too."  Stevie lights up and says, "Really?!?!?!"  Victoria drags Stevie off by the hair.  Snow and Ivory exchange confused glances.  Up next it is Ivory and Tommy Dreamer vs Victoria and Stevie Richards.  

Match #2 to me

Tommy Dreamer and Ivory vs Stevie Richards and Victoria

The ladies start things off, Ivory tries to rotate over Victoria for a move but slips.  She quickly sweeps the leg to recover.  Ivory hits a suplex and goes for the cover but only gets a 2.  Victoria lands a few knees to the stomach and tags in Stevie.  He taunts Ivory in the corner but she dodges his clothesline attempt.  She lights Stevie up with a few chops to the chest.  Ivory ducks and rolls through to tag Dreamer in to avoid another Stevie clothesline attempt.  Tommy hits a clothesline on Stevie.  Stevie is quickly up and misses a dropkick and Dreamer comes down with an elbow drop. Ivory comes in and Tommy picks her up and slams her on Stevie for another leg drop.  Dreamer then adds one of his own.  Stevie goes for a crossbody but Tommy catches him.  Victoria comes from behind and chop blocks Tommy.  Victoria hits a spinning leg drop onto Tommy's knee in the corner.  Then stomps it a few times.  She tags Stevie back in.  He mocks Dreamer's taunt.  The heels go for a double suplex but Dreamer reverses and suplexes them both.  Ivory cames in with a dropkick to Richards.  Both heels get placed in the corner and Dreamer squishes them with a splash.  Ivory hits a top rope cross body to Victoria while Dreamer lays out Richards with a spinebuster.  Victoria climbs on Tommy's back but is snap mared off.  Dreamer dodges a Stevie Kick and Ivory lands a bulldog on Stevie.  Dreamer blocks a Victoria punch and then puts her head between her legs for a move but we will never know what the Innovator of Violence had planned as Stevie cleans his clock with a Stevie kick that Dreamer didn't see coming. Victoria covers for the win in 4:15.  (**)

I have not been able to locate Scott Steiner vs a young Mike Knox and Val Venis vs Rico.  If anyone has access to that please let me know.  Thanks