Our announcers this week are Josh Matthews and thankfully for the second week in a row, Taz.
Match #1
Nunzio vs Billy Kidman
The cruiserweights trade lock ups. Kidman dodges three strikes from Nunzio and stops short on a leapfrog attempt in a funny spot. Kidman hits a head scissors and transitions immediately into 4 mounted corner punches. He gets caught on the top rope by Nunzio who drapes his arm over the top rope. Nunzio leg drops on the arm, and digs his knee into Kidman's elbow. Kidman punches his way free but Nunzio takes back control with a single arm DDT on the injured wing for a 2 count. He then locks in a hammerlock. Kidman breaks loose again and hits a dropkick. They trade forearms. Kidman takes control of the match with a flying forearm, backdrop, and a shoulder tackle to net a 2 count. He goes for the BK bomb but his arm gives out and eats a drop kick to the face. Kidman gets a desperation roll up for 2 which Nunzio repays with a spike DDT for his own 2 count. Kidman hits a nice enziguri heads to the top rope for a shooting star press. Nunzio joins him at the job and lands some punches but Kidman fires back and hits a BK bomb from the top for the win in 5:37 (** 3/4)
Match #2
Orlando Jordan vs Sean O'Haire
O'Haire is already in the ring, but that may have been just the edit that I was able to find. This match is the Tazz show. He is just zinging one liners on Josh the whole time, and it was a good time for it as this match, was lots of rest holds and sloppy transitions. So this match review is going to look a little different. The match had 6 arm holds and 8 arm drags, 2 dropkicks, and partridge in a pear tree. But on commentary, it was a great time.
Josh Matthews: Jordan is a ladies man and that he beats the ladies off with a stick.
Tazz: He hits women with a stick? That's not right.
(After OJ goes for a cover in the first ten seconds of the match)
JM: Jordan trying to win early
Tazz: No, he's trying to wear his opponent out, forcing them to kick out, he knows he isn't going to win that early
JM: Maybe he wants to hurry up and get to the ladies.
Tazz: Maybe you should be trust me about wrestling despite all of the matches that you had on Tough Enough that you lost.
(After OJ does the Johnson Shuffle to honor his trainer, Rocky Johnson)
Tazz: How do you shuffle your Johnson?
(During another rest hold by O'Haire)
Tazz: Josh, would you let me handle talking about the moves.
JM: Well I made here with you so I must be doing something right.
Tazz: No you're here with me because I must have done something wrong.
Eventually O'Haire wins with his finisher reverse DDT from the shoulders. (Josh describes it as that) in 6:07. (1/2* match *** 1/4 commentary.)
Match #3
Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore (Carolina Connection per Tazz)
vs
Ultimo Dragon and Funaki (Tokyo Express per Tazz)
Matt Fact #1: Matt and Shannon have more Mattitude than other teams
Matt Fact #2: Matt enjoys ginger root after eating sushi
Shannon Moore and Ultimo Dragon start for their teams. Moore yanks the Dragon down by his mask. The two exchange some leap frogs and quick rope running and strike dodging. They both tag their partners and Matt eats arm drags, dropkick and head scissors. Moore grabs Funaki and pulls him out of the ring. Funaki takes a beating outside. Moore hits a swinging neck breaker on Funaki and then hangs him on the middle rope and hip attacks him. Matt tags back in and for a side slam for a two count and quick tag back to Moore. Moore hits a side suplex and get his own two count. He throws a tantrum. Matthews says that Moore must not have taken his Ridilin. Tazz asks what football helmets have to do with it. Funaki dodges a splash in the corner and hits a bulldog. Both men tag and the Dragon hits a drop kick and a leg lariat. Quick kicks to Shannon Moore and then to Hardy. SM gets nailed with an Asai DDT. Dragoon escapes a twist fate attempt and super kicks to Matt Hardy in the mush. Blind tag to Funaki who hits Matt with a crossbody off the top. Funaki collides with Moore on the apron, which allows Hardy to hit a side slam for a pinfall broken up by Dragon. Ultimo flew over the top rope at Moore to take both men out. Funaki tries a school boy for 2. Matt Hardy hits a twist of fate to get the victory for his team in 5:20 (***)
Match #4
The Full Blooded Italians Johnny the Bull Stamboli and Chuck Palumbo
vs
Jaime Noble and Billy Gunn
The Bull and Gunn start off Gunn requests that Chuck start with him. At no point during the match do Tazz and Josh mention that Billy and Chuck were former tag champs together. Chuck offers a handshake to Billy, when Billy goes for it, Chuck slaps him. The pair exchange heavy fists, Gunn clotheslines Chuck over the top rope. Both men tag out. The Bull overpowers Noble for a bit until the craft Noble picks the leg and lays in some stomps. The Bull ducks out of harms way and rolls to the outside. Palumbo heads in and fights off quick thigh kicks from Noble to send him into the ropes, where the Bull yanks him out for a beating. After being tossed back in, Palumbo hits a buckle bomb. At this point the Bashams and Shaniqua come out on the ramp to watch. On Smackdown the Thursday before Shaniqua came out and laid waste to Torrie Wilson and Nidia, the faces' love interests.
Jaime Noble hits a desperation jaw breaker but gets cut off before he can make the tag. He gets a storm of quick tags and boots in the corner by the FBI. Noble rolls out of danger and gets the hot tag to Mr. Ass. Gunn clears house, eventually setting up for the famouser but gets caught in mid air by both FBI members for the Bada Bing. Noble breaks the count, but gets creamed by a super kick from Chuck. This time Gunn hits the famouser after Palumbo misses giving Gunn a super kick of his own to gain the victory in 6:21 (**). The Bashams continue to look on from the ramp but they decline Gunn's offer to come down for a fight. Tune into Smackdown for the parking lot brawl between John Cena and Eddie Guerrero.
As we flip the day forward to Sunday, we are joined by the new heel duo of Johnathan Coachman and Al Snow.
Match #1
Val Venis vs Slater Vain
The match starts off with the wrestling school intro of irish whips, drop downs, missed clotheslines etc.... It ends in dueling hip tosses to a face off to no reaction. Vain offers his hand but quickly clotheslines Val's head off. He drops several double axe handles. Vain follows them up with a body slam and a suplex for a 2 count. Vain locks in a stretch on Val's back. He breaks the hold with a kick to the spine. Val gets back into it with a shoulder block and some clotheslines. He goes for a suplex but his back gives out. Vain goes off the ropes and Val catches him with a spine buster. He heads up top and hits the Money Shot for the victory in a quick 3:56 (3/4*). Coach and Snow mostly talk about themselves and their actions from Raw and pay the match little attention. Hopefully they were just getting the explanation out of the way, because that will be tough for the entire episode.
La Resistance is shown in the back looking at the newest episode of RAW magazine which has the Dudley's on the cover. They are disgusted that the Dudleys are on the cover and not them. The Master of Disguise that was been helping them approaches. He is also upset at the cover choice. They head off to the ring while Coach tells up we will see the debut of Rob Conway next. Which I believe is the first time you have ever heard his name.
Match #2
Spike Dudley vs Rob Conway with La Restiance (Sylvan Grenier and Rene Dupree)
Spike attacks prebell and hits a top rope double ax handle to the outside. He then runs on Conway's chest in the corner. A USA chant breaks out. Conway drapes Spike over the top rope and hits an impressive swinging neck breaker. Conway starts nailing some punches in the corner but Spike wriggles free and uncorks a few of his own. Conway sends Spike hard into the corner and then gets kneed in the face. Spike gets head scissors on a corner charge and rams Conway's head into the corner. Spike heads to the top rope but Conway joins him. Spike bites Conway on the hand and pushes him back to the canvas and hits a top rope stomp. The runt of the Dudley litter, hits some headbutt battering rams but gets caught with a hangman on the top rope. He recovers and tries to hit a Dudley Dog but Rob Conway reverses it into a spinning neck breaker for the win in 4:14 (*).
Match #3
Tommy Dreamer vs Jimmy Yang
An ECW chant breaks out before the action starts as both competitors push and shove each other. Tommy Dreamer catches Yang's crossbody attempt into a fallaway slam and a suplex. Yang snares Dreamer with a drop hold to smash his face on the middle turnbuckle. Yang charges and hits a hip splash that takes him over the top rope and then immediately pulls himself back in Royal Rumble style. He then locks in an interesting leg choke (above) that the ref forces him to break. Yang puts a few boots to a downed Innovator of Violence and heads over to Dreamer's kendo stick and breaks it. This fires of Tommy who hits a clothesline, swinging neck breaker, and sit down spine buster for 2. He goes for the Death Valley Driver but Yang reverses it with a DDT. Yang heads to the top and crashes and burns on corkscrew moonsault. Tommy takes advantage and plants Yang with a DDT sold like a million bucks to win in 3:30 (* 1/2).
Match #4
Mark Henry and Rodney Mack with Theodore Long vs Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak
Mack and Cade start off the festivities, with Cade getting the advantage with a bevy of punches or elbows. He tags in Jindrak who hits a few flying forearms and big drop kick. However he misses a splash in the corner, allowing Mack to take over. Mack beats the youngster about the head and neck and his a spinning slam. Mack locks in a headlock. Eventually Mack throws Jindrak into the corner but he hits a springboard clothesline and gets the hot tag to G-Unit, which is want Al Snow says that the guys call him in the locker room in case you weren't aware that it was 2003. Cade hits a knee lift and a running forearm. He goes for a second one but Henry clubs him in the back of the head from the outside. Henry officailly enters the match for the first time and chucks Cade across the ring and then splashes him in the corner. Jindrak comes in to stop the bleeding and gets wiped out instead. Henry plants Cade with a huge World's Strongest Slam for the dominant win in 3:56 *1/4.
Tune in tomorrow night for Kane vs Rob Van Dam inside a solid steel cage which will kick off the show at 9 PM Eastern.
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