Friday, August 23, 2024

RuthlessCEE Aggresive: Heat and Velocity reviews (September 20/21, 2003) Pre Unforgiven Heat edition

 



We have Josh Mathews and Taz on the commentary again so I believe Ernest Miller is thankfully gone from role. 

Match #1


The Big Show vs Pat Cusick/Murray Happer

Big Show hits some punches and chest slaps.  He stacks both guys in the corner and beats on them some more.  Big Show slams the local competitors a bit mixed in with a few clotheslines.  He hands out back to back chokeslams to pick up the win in 50 seconds.

Match #2


Matt Hardy vs Joey Matthews

Matt Fact #1: Matt hates waiting in lines. 
Matt Fact #2: Matt tailgates slow cars in the passing lane.

Josh tells us that both men were in the local Omega promotion where they were rivals.  This match is in North Carolina and Matt is wrestling as a face and has the crowd behind him.  They trade arm bars.  Matt Hardy hits a hip toss and 9 mounted corner punches before a tenth super windup punch when Matthews staggers out of the corner.  Hardy heads to the top but Mathews rolls out of the ring.  Hardy tries to pull him back into the ring by the hair, but Mathews snaps Hardy's neck over the top rope.  Mathews goes on offense with a neck breaker and a mid rope choke. 
 Tazz asks Josh if he is related to Joey.  Josh says that his name only has one T.  Tazz says that he has one T in his name too.  Josh reminds him that he has two Z's in his name.  Tazz says he used to have 2 Z's in a funny aside.  
 
Hardy comes back with a decapitating clothesline, followed by a back elbow and a leg drop.  Mathews pushes Hardy into the turnbuckle and locks on a desperation sleeper.  Hardy escapes via side slam.  Hardy then does a clothesline and a leg drop over the second rope.  Mathews escapes the side effect.  He comes back off the ropes but gets caught by the side effect this time.  Mathews kicks out of the pinfall attempt.  Mathews tosses Hardy into the turnbuckle again and follows it up with a top rope clothesline for a 2 count.  Mathews tries a charge into the corner but Hardy gets the boot up.  Matt hits the V1 downfall leg drop and twist of fate for the victory in 5:36

Match #3



Chuck Palumbo with Nunzio and Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli
vs. Orlando Jordan

Palumbo starts out knees to the stomach and heavy strikes to the back.  The FBI jumps up on the apron and are immediately ejected.  Jordan comes back with some quick punches and a back slide attempt. Palumbo leap frogs Jordan and hits a super kick to the back of the head.  Jordan flies through the ropes to the outside.  Jordan is dead weight and Palumbo can't get him up, goes back in to break the count and then comes back outside to throw Jordan back in.  Weird sequence.  He drives his shoulder into the midsection of Jordan in the corner.  He floors Jordan with a belly to belly suplex.  Then locks in a bear hug.  When that doesn't get a submission, he brings Jordan to the corner and hangs him in the tree of woe so he can lay some boots in.  The ref backs him off and frees Jordan.  Palumbo charges and misses only connecting with the steel post.  Jordan lands his shuffle punches from his mentor Rocky Johnson.  He lands a flying forearm.   "Shades of Tito Santana." Says Josh.  Jordan hits a drop kick and a back body drop.  "Shades of Rick Martel.  Not really I just wanted to talk about an old guy too." says Tazz.  Jordan goes for a cross body off the top. "It's time for some Strike Force." says Josh.  Palumbo rolls through the cross body and gets a two count.  Sloppy missed clothesline by Chuck and Jordan uses the momentum for a roll up for 2.  Palumbo grabs Jordan and lets go for no reason.  Jordan then hits the Black Ice neck breaker to get the victory in 5:37. (1/2 *)

Match #4

Billy Kidman vs Shannon Moore



Moore backs Kidman into the corner and taunts Kidman.  "It's all about me!" Kidman charges Moore who runs to the opposite corner and has the ref back Kidman off.  Kidman hits a tilt a whirl head scissors and follows it up with mounted punches.  Moore slips out and hits a really devastating looking hip toss into the turnbuckles.  Moore hangs Kidman on the middle rope and lands the leg over his back.  Shannon plants Kidman with a body slam followed up with a rear chin lock.  Kidman gets whipped hard into opposite corners.  Shannon snap suplexes Kidman and locks in a back stretch.  Kidman fights out and hits a drop kick.  Kidman lands a hurricanrana, back body drop, death valley driver into a neck breaker for a 2 count.  Shannon Moore gets control with a spinning leg lariat.  Kidman misses a corner splash and Moore hits a turnbuckle launching spinning dive for a 2 count.  Moore starts to pound the mat like he is a toddler throwing a tantrum.  Kidman captilizes with a BK bomb.  Kidman lands a shooting star press to gain the vicrtory in 5:31. (** 3/4). 









Since it is pre Unforgiven we get Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler on commentary which if they lose tonight to Coach and Al Snow will be our new Heat commentary team.  

We did get a change to the 6 man table match as Spike Dudley can't compete so it is now a handicap match according to Co GM Eric Bischoff, but Co GM Steve Austin makes it for the tag titles.  

The one and only match
Stevie Richards with Victoria vs Maven

We begin with a collar and elbow tie up, that Maven turns into this barrage of offense: headlock, shoulder block, leapfrogs, clothesline, fireman's carry, drop kick.  Stevie bails from the ring but Maven pursues.  Victoria grabs Maven's foot on the way back in.  Stevie drops an elbow to take his first advantage of the match.  Stevie distracts the referee so Victoria can hit her spinning leg drop off the top rope.  Stevie unleashes his own flurry of a neck breaker, rope splash, snap mare, full nelson.  Maven reverses the hold into a suplex.  Maven lands a barrage of fists, reverse elbows, spinning elbows, spinning heel kick, and finally a neck breaker. Maven to the top rope but Victoria grabs his foot and the delay allows Richards to move out of the way of Maven's drop kick.  Stevie goes for a double arm DDT, but Maven resends him over with a back body drop.  Maven heads back to the top rope and nails his float over neck breaker for the win in 5:15 (**).


Friday, August 16, 2024

RuthlessCEE Aggresive: Heat and Velocity reviews (September 13/14, 2003)

 


This week we are once again graced with the presence of Taz instead of Ernest Miller with play by play man Josh Matthews. 

Match #1


Jaime Noble with Nidia vs Kanyon

Kanyon starts of with an armbar but Noble quickly reverses in into a hammerlock.  Noble hits a drop toe hold and a hip toss.  Kanyon lands some shoulder blocks in the corner.  Noble regains the lead with another hip toss and series of drop kicks.  Kanyon backs into the corner and begs for mercy but Jaime Noble gives him no quarter and lays in some stomps.  Noble lands a cross body.  He lowers his head for a back body drop but Kanyon catches him and throws him shoulder first in the ring post. He then applies a top rope Boston crab.  Kanyon suplexes him back into the ring.  Noble rolls out of a back stretch and kicks Kanyon in the mush.  Noble goes for a cross body but gets caught in mid air, that Kanyon transitions into a suplex.  Kanyon hits a sit down powerbomb Alabama slam for a 2 count.  Noble gets sling shotted head first into the ring post.  Noble reverses a suplex attempt into a rollup withe the tights to steal the win in 5:33 (***)

Match #2

The Basham Brothers with Shaniqua vs Scott Vantastic and Poker Face

Before the bell rings the Bashams get down on all fours and get whipped by Shaniqua.  Scott Vantastic starts off against Doug.  Vantastic gets a head lock on a blind tag is made and one wicked clothesline later, Scott Vantastic's offense for the match is over.  The Bashams tag in and out landing some punches and clotheslines.  Doug hits a Vader bomb but Poker Face breaks up the pinfall.  Vantastic is able to make it to the corner for a hot tag to Poker Face. Poker Face hits an eziguri and few drop kicks.  He tries a rollup but the ref gets pulled out of the ring.  Shaniqua enters and flattens Poker Face with a powerbomb.

Can't read my, can't ready my
She's got me like nobodyCan't read my, can't ready myShe's got me like nobodyCan't read my, can't ready myShe's got me like nobodyCan't read my, can't ready myShe's got me like nobody

Bashams win in 3:48 (3/4*)

Post match Vantastic gets a top tope for spinebuster for existing.

Match #3


WWE Tag team Champions, the World's Greatest Tag Team Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas vs Ultimo Dragon and Funaki in a non title match.

Charlie Haas and Ultimo Dragon start off.  Dragon hits some quick kicks but Haas lands some blows in the corner.  Ultimo Dragon comes back with a handspring elbow.  Both men tag their partners.  Benjamin hits deep forearms and rakes Funaki's face across the top rope.  The Dragon cheap shots Benjamin with a kick to the back of the head when he comes off the ropes.  Funaki hits a tilt a whirl head scissors and drop kick for 2.  Funaki tags to Dragon but gets caught with an elbow to the back of the head.  Shelton tags in and the Dragon hits a bunch of quick kicks.  They both hit a big boot to the head at the same time as both are down as we head to a MID MATCH COMMERCIAL BREAK ON VELOCITY WHAT IS GOING ON!?!?!?!?!

Shelton Benjamin body slams Dragon on Haas' knee as we return from commercial.  The World's Greatest Tag Team switches on an abdominal stretch behind the ref's back a few times.  Dragon nails a jumping back kick to create some space and then a leg sweep to Haas.  Hot tag to Funaki.  Funaki hits several drop kicks and Matthews says, "Shades of Poker Face from earlier tonight."  This line kills Taz and your author.  Funaki gets a two count on a DDT.  All four competitors are in the ring.  The Dragon back body drops both Benjamin and Haas over the top rope.  Funaki gets caught going for the cross body to the outside.  Dragon hits an Asai Moonsault onto all 3.  Funaki tosses Haas back into the ring.  He goes to the top for another cross body...again...and he gets caught...again...  Benjamin comes in and superkicks Funaki in the head being held by Haas who then immediatly drops Funaki with a World's Strongest Slam for the win in 7:44 (***).



Sunday Night Heat is once again being lead by Johnathan Coachman and Al Snow a mere week before their match at Unforgiven for the RAW commentary duties against JR and Lawler.

Match #1


Maven vs Static

They start with a collar and elbow tie up, which Maven drops down out of and hits a drop toe hold, hip toss and transitions into an armbar.  We are told that Static was trained by the American Dream Dusty Rhodes.  Can't wait til Static finishes the story.  Static hits an enziguri to break up Maven's advantage.  He misses a corner charge and has his shoulder rammed into the ring post and experiences some white noise.  Maven hits a spinning heel kick for a 2 count.  Static gets laid out with a top rope bulldog/DDT something or other that seems botched for the win in 3:15. (1/2*)

(Your guess is as good as mine on what this was supposed to be.)

Match #2


Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade vs Alan Steele and Rude

At no point during this match do Al Snow or Coachman differentiate between the two local competitors so I can't tell you who it who.  Cade starts and gets irish whipped into the corner where the gentleman who are trying to make a name for themselves double team the big Texan.  Cade battles out and hits a drop kick.  Tag to Jindrak who nails a splash in the corner and a flyover rollup in which he doesn't even attempt a pin and just lets the guy go.  The other fellow enters the ring so he can be clotheslined at the same time as his partner.  Jindrak tags back in Cade and they hit a double suplex.  Cade sends "the guy" into the ropes but "his partner" grabs him so Cade drops kicks air and lands hard.  I used the "" because that is what Snow calls them.  WHO IS WHO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! DO YOUR JOBS!  Cade gets a beating in the corner again.  The hit a double back elbow to Cade.  Cade sweeps the leg to get a hot tag to Jindrak.  Each unnamed grappler takes a beautiful high drop kick to the mush.  Cade clotheslines out one of our new friends and then hoists up the remaining man to be hit with a 6 feet in the air drop kick power bomb combo that is so amazingly impressive.  Jindrak and Cade get the win in 3:22 (*1/4)




Teri catches up with Val before his title match in the main event. Val says as much as they have pleasured each other in the past, (Remember Val had relations with her to upset born again Dustin Rhodes.) something is missed from his waist area...  You see it's not what you think, he's referring to the Intercontinental championship.  It was not a sexual reference you pervs. He wants the Intercontinental belt around his waist for a third time.  I would have guessed he had only had it once.  He won the title from Ken Shamrock at St. Valentine's Massacre in February 1999 and then again in July 2000 on an episode of Smackdown.  Each reign was about a month.  Val says like all of his costars, tonight Christian will be left flat on his back. He's going to win the title and then head to after party with Teri, because the Big Valbowski is cocked locked and ready to explode.  

Match #3


Christian defends the Intercontinental Championship vs Val Venis.

We start off with a collar and elbow and tie up, and Christian grabs an arm bar.  Val reverses and lands a shoulder block, hip toss, back elbow, spring board cross body, after each he attempts a quick pin attempt.  Val wants that after party!  Some elbows give Christian the advantage until he charges Val who side steps the champ.  Christian flies out of the ring like a goober.  He comes back into the squared circle and is not pleased.  He slaps the challenger.  Now it's Val's turn to be angry.  Val hits some hard chops, knees to the gut, and a Russian leg sweep.  Christian hangs Val on the top rope in desperation.  Christian lands several punches and stands over Val while mocking his taunt.  Val rolls Christian up for a near fall.  Christian chokes Val on the middle rope and goes for a splash but Val moves.  Both competitors are down as we head to commercial.  

Val is in control when we return to the action hitting a series of shoulder block, vice grip slam, spine buster, and mounted punches.  Val heads up for the money shot but Christian cuts him off with some fists.  Christian goes for a superplex but gets pushed down to the mat.  Val comes off the top for the money shot, but Christian gets the knees up.  He hits Val with a scorpion death drop for a near fall.  Christian is frustrated and argues with the ref.  Val nails Christian from behind and the champ collides with the ref.  Val grabs Christian and lays him out with a powerbomb but the ref is delayed getting to the count and the few extra seconds are enough to save Christian's title.  Christian ducks a clothesline attempt and hits the unprettier to retain the Intercontinental Title in 7:12.  (*** 1/4)