Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 11/22/2003 & WWE Heat 11/23/2003

 

Check out the Ruthless audio podcast on the North South Connection podcast network. 

Welcome to Slamming Saturday Night on Spike Tv!

Match #1

Sean O'Haire vs Ultimo Dragon

Ultimo Dragon attempts two shoulder blocks that no sold and send the Dragon to the mat.  Dragon comes back with a leg sweep and gets power pressed off the cover attempt.  O'Haire misses a charge and Dragon hits several swift kicks, but the run is ended by a big clothesline.  O'Haire grinds Ultimo in the corner and the biels him across the ring followed by a violent spinal tap kick.  O'Haire locks in a back stretch and lands several hard kicks to the ribs.  Ultimo gets a dragon leg screw and a cradle for a 2 count.  Dragon's sunset flip was denied, buy when O'Haire picks up the cruiserweight from Japan, he hits O'Haire with a dropkick and then a baseball slide after O'Haire bails to the outside.  Ultimo Dragon tries an Asai moonsault, but O'Haire just walks away.  O'Haire hits his inverted Death Valley Driver for the win in 4:52.  (*1/2)

Match #2

Nunzio with Johnny the Bull Stamboli vs Paul London with Spanky

London and Spanky are debuting their matching gear.  They trade arm bars and trade leg sweeps and pin combos.  London hits a northern lights suplex, back body drop, and a back elbow, but Johnny the Bull shoves London off the top.  Nunzio gets a snap mare and headlock. He hits a Sicilian slice second rope drop kick.  London knocks Stamboli off the apron.  Spanky tries to get in the ring but is held back by the ref allowing the Bull to pull London into the ring post while Nunzio drops the boots.  Nunzio with a double judo chop to the neck. London gets a small package but Johnny the Bull has the ref's attention.  Nunzio gets an elbow drop and a headlock.  London lands an enziguri.  London goes on a run with a hurricanrana, dropsault, underhook waffle face for 2.  Johnny the Bull puts Nunzio's foot on the rope to avoid a pinfall.  London kicks the Bull and gets a standing moonsault.  Stamboli grabs London's foot and Spanky comes flying in from the ring with a plancha to take out Stamboli.  Nunzio gets his knees up on a spring board moonsault.  Nunzio then hits a 2nd rope drop kick to the mush to get the win in 6:49. (**3/4)

Match #3

Funaki vs Chuck Palumbo

Palumbo gets on his knees to mock the height of Funaki but eats a drop kick. Quickly over powers Funaki, but Funaki runs away from the larger man and gets a drop kick and a leg sweep.  Palumbo gets a belly to belly suplex, a short arm clothesline, and corner stomps.  He locks in an arm vice and transitions into a hard irish whip.  He then gets a discus punch and a bear hug.  Funaki gets a reversal into a spinning DDT.  Palumbo misses a charge and hits the post with his shoulder.  Funaki gets a bulldog.  Funaki tries for a back slide but the attempt is thwarted and eats a Whack kick for a shocking near fall.  Funaki nails an enziguri kick heads to the top rope.  He gets caught on a cross body attempt and Palumbo turns that into a Samoan drop to pick up the win in 5:47.  (**1/4)

Match #4

Scotty 2 Hotty with Rikishi vs Rhyno 

Josh Mathews begins talking about what a run Scotty and Rikishi have been on Velocity, by saying they were victorious in a 6-man tag over the FBI last week. That is a bald faced lied, as the FBI picked up the win last week, I will not stand for Mathews' propaganda.  Rhyno begins the match with some strikes and throws Scotty shoulder first into the turnbuckle followed by a shoulder block.  Scotty grabs the ropes on a irish whip and sends Rhyno over when he charges.  He busts a move and then hits Rhyno with a baseball slide.  Back in the ring, Scotty accidently shoulders the post.  Rhyno capitalizes with a single arm DDT and an arm bar.  Rhyno mocks the dancing which allows Scotty to get a tilt a whirl head scissors.  He follows up with a flying forearm, and super kick for 2.  Scotty goes for his pre worm bulldog but Rhyno mows him down with a clothesline.  Rhyno sets up for the gore to finish Scotty off but randomly decides to go over the Rikishi at ring side and jaw with him.  Rhyno pie faces Rikishi who responds with a punch.  Rhyno stumbles into a DDT and then gets hit with the W-O-R-M.  Scotty wins in 5:06. (*1/2)

24 hours later we are ready for some Sunday Night Heat!

Match #1

Rosey and Hurricane vs Jeremy Lopez and Michael Koch.  

Snow calls the local talent, the Bobbacanoosh brothers the whole time and I'm going with their cage match names to keep things straight.  Hurricane starts with an armbar, snap mare, and yanks him down after wrapping his arms.  Lopez tags out to Koch who is very large man.  Once in the ring it is clear that we have a 6'5 Great Khali which is not ideal.  Blind tag to Rosey for a clothesline and shoulder block.  Tag to Hurricane for a top rope leg drop.  He knocks Lopez off the apron and hits a flurry of punches to Koch.  Koch hits a few forearms and tosses Hurricane outside. Lopez hits a drop kick outside.  Once in the ring, Lynn latches in a terrible looking camel clutch.  Hurricane gets a roll up attempt out of it for 2, but immediately runs into a powerslam.  Koch tags in for a suplex, but then misses the elbow drop.  Hurricane tags in Rosey who cleans house, ending with a spinning urinage to Lynn and a Somoan drop on Koch.  He hits a super hero leg drop on Koch but Lynn breaks up the fall.  Rosey drives Lynn into Koch in the corner to squish them both.  Hurricane comes out of nowhere for a shining wizard to the dome on Koch.  Rosey hits an impressive second rope moonsault to get the win in 6:14.  (*1/2)

Match #2

John Heidenreich vs Jared Steele

Steele starts with a drop kick to Heidenreich's knee but immediately eats a big boot, corner shoulders, sidewalk slam for 2.  Heidenreich follows it up with another slam and locks in a bear hug.  Steele punches out of the hold but gets body slammed again.  Heindenreich misses two elbow drops.  Steele tries to follow up with a few punches but runs into a sidewalk slam for the pin in 3:05. (1/2*).

Match #3

Maven vs Masada 

Maven starts off with headlocks and leg sweeps.  He eventually beils Masada across the ring by his goatee, but Masada is up quickly for a clothesline and a neck breaker.  Maven just tackles Masada and starts rapidly punching his face.  Maven misses a drop kick when Masada grabs the ropes. Masada capitalizes by grabbing a headlock. Maven gets a sunset flip out of it for 2, but Masada grabs another headlock after a clothesline and a snap mare.  Maven breaks free again and they clothesline each other simultaneously.  Maven is up first, gets a back body drop, a flying forearm, and spinning heel kick.  He heads to the top rope for his float over bulldog finish to win in 4:34. (1/2 *)

Match #4

Match #4 Gail Kim vs Trish Stratus

 

Gail Kim vs Trish Stratus

Gail Kim attacks before the bell.  She snap mares Trish and chokes her with Trish's long jacket.  She chokes Stratus in the corner a few times no without the jacket.  Lou Thesz press by Trish, followed by punches.  She gets a dropkick, several chops, and jumping clotheslines on Kim until she goes Matrix to avoid a Kim clothesline.  Kim just blasts her from that position and gets a side walk slam for 2.  Gail gets a bow and arrow hold that Trish rotates out of for pin attempt.  Gail kicks out and throws Trish outside. She rams Stratus' back into the apron.  Gail crashes and burns on a springboard attempt back into the ring.  Trish attempts a cover but Gail goes back to offense immediately.  She gets a back breaker and then takes too long climbing to the top rope and Trish uses a head scissors to get her down.  Trish gets a spinebuster for 2.  Stratus nails her Stratusfaction springboard DDT to pick up the win in 4:13.  (*)

One of the worst Heat's I have reviewed. Even Coach and Snow were bad on this night and genuinely enjoy them usually.  

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 11/15/2003 & WWE Heat 11/16/2003 (Survivor Series edition)

                                                     

                   Check out the podcast with a humorous look at the week's Raw and Smackdown!                            

                                                                                Velocity!

Match #1

World's Greatest Tag Team (Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas) vs Ultimo Dragon & Funaki

Funaki teams with Kidman last week on Velocity to take on WGTT.  Kidman was injured during the match.

Haas and Funaki start out.  Haas gets a knee to the face, but Funaki battles back.  All four men enter the ring.  Dragon gets a head scissors to Shelton Benjamin. WGTT bail to the outside.  Funaki hits a baseball slide while Dragon hits a plancha.  Back in the ring, Haas blocks a top rope tornado DDT attempt from Funaki.  Benjamin sneaks in and sweeps Funaki's leg.  Haas removes Funaki's knee pad.  World's Greatest Tag Team tags in and out quickly while working over Funaki's knees.  Benjamin hooks in a single leg crab.  Benjamin has Funaki up for a Samoan drop but Funaki counters into a reverse DDT.  Funaki gets the hot tag to Dragon, who gets a leg sweep, quick kicks, tilt-a-whirl head scissors. An assai DDT attempt by Dragon, kicks Haas and transitions into a backslide of Benjamin.  Haas sets Dragon up on the top rope for Benjamin to leapfrog splash him, but Funaki intercepts him with a drop kick.  Springboard moonsault by Dragon for 2.  Funaki gets caught and chucked over the top.  Benjamin sneaks in for a super kick which Dragon sells like he is unconscious.  Haas locks in the Haas of Pain for the submission in 5:07. (***)

Match #2

Rhyno vs Kanyon

Rhyno back Kanyon into the corner and strikes are exchanged.  Crossbody by Kanyon followed by a Russian leg sweep, give him the advantage.  Kanyon heads to the top only to met with a kick to the stomach on the way down.  Rhyno hits a swinging diamond cutter.  He chokes Kanyon in the ropes until hitting a short arm clothesline and locking in a neck vise.  Kanyon fights out and gets a swinging neck breaker, drop kick, and a few clotheslines.  He follows that up with a mounted corner bulldog for a 2 count.  He tries a school boy for 2, but Rhyno beats him to his feet and crushes Kanyon with a clothesline.  He sets up in the corner and GORES Kanyon into oblivion for the win in 4:50.  (*3/4)

Match #3

Spanky & Paul London vs Bryan Danielson & John Walters

Bryan Danielson starts with Spanky.  They try to gain the advantage in a collar and elbow tie up both standing and on the mat.  Spanky gets an armbar roll through and Danielson sweeps the leg.  Spanky tries a rollup.  Danielson quickly turns a hammerlock into a forearm to the face.  He tags in John Walters.  Hammerlock by Walters until Spanky runs him into the turnbuckles.  Spanky gets the tag to London, who takes out both opponents with clotheslines, spinning heel kicks. A German suplex by Walters is thwarted as London lands on his feet.  Dropsault to John Walters.  Danielson breaks up the pinfall.  Walters and Danielson try a double suplex but Spanky pulls London to safety.  London and Walters both try some rollup attempts.  London and Spanky hit Get Well Soon (reverse STO and jumping Enzuigiri combo on Walters to get the win in 3:03 (**)

Match #4

Scotty 2 Hotty, Rikishi, and Orlando Jordan vs The Full Blooded Italians (Nunzio, Chuck Palumbo, and Johnny The Bull Stamboli)

Chuck Palumbo and Orlando Jordon start.  OJ gets some hip tosses and locks in an armbar, Palumbo clotheslines out.  He backs into the corner, for the tag to Johnny The Bull.  OJ out quicks the Bull and hits a sky high drop kick til a clothesline ends his run.  Nunzio and Scotty 2 Hotty in.  Nunzio runs into the face corner for some cheap shots, but gets punched by OJ instead and then cowers to avoid a Rikishi punch.  He turns around into a flap jack.  Nunzio tries to get to the corner, but Scotty 2 Hotty takes out all 3 of the FBI, and gets a back body drop on Nunzio.  Palumbo gets a cheap shot, and all three FBI tag in and out for corner based strikes.  Chuck Palumbo eventually gets a Samoan drop and Jordon breaks up the fall.  Palumbo sends Scotty into the corner on a hard irish whip.  While the ref is distracted, the FBI wishbones, Scotty on the ring post while Palumbo stomps him.  Scotty wiggles out of a second Samoan drop attempt from Palumbo.  Palumbo misses a corner charge and slams his shoulder into the ring post.  Hot tag to Rikishi.  He clears out The Bull with strikes, chokeslam to Nunzio, super kick to Palumbo, and DDT to the Bull for 2.  Nunzio gets an eye rake.  Palumbo misses the Whack kick has to eat an Samoan drop from an actual Samoan.  Jordan gets a top rope crossbody to the 2 larger FBI members, goes on a flurry of drop kicks, flying forearms, and Johnson shuffle to Johnny the Bull.  Nunzio breaks up the fall gets caught by Scotty 2 Hotty a bulldog.  W-O-R-M! Johnny the Bull chucks Scotty 2 Hotty out of the ring, but gets squashed in the corner by Rikishi.  During the stink face attempt, the Bull gets a low blow.  In the chaos, Chuck Palumbo gets Jordan with the Whack kick, and the Bull covers for the win in 9:27 (**3/4).  Post match, the FBI threatens a 3 on 1 beating on Scotty.  Rikishi takes out Stamboli and Palumbo.  Nunzio continues to run his mouth to Scotty until he backs into Rikishi.  Nunzio gets crushed and gets stink faced in the corner.  Palumbo pulls Nunzio to safety.  The faces hug, Mathews and Demott sell on us on Survivor Series tomorrow.  

Match #1

Only footage of this match bumped from the PPV card was poor quality so everything looked blocky like it was made in Minecraft. 

Cruiserweight Championship

Tajiri vs Jamie Noble

Noble attacks Tajiri in the aisle.  Once in the ring, Tajiri lays in strikes.  Tajiri misses a hand spring elbow but gets him in the ribs with a kick followed by a series of muy thai knees and top rope gut buster.  He locks in an abdominal stretch.  Noble escapes with a hip toss but another devastating kick brings Noble down until he gets a swinging neck breaker.  Noble unloads with quick strikes, running knee, a back elbow, and short powerslam.  Akio & Sakoda try to get involved but Noble quickly sends them out.  Tajiri attempts to mist Noble but Jamie blocks it by covering his face.  He gets a Tiger Driver power bomb for a near fall.  Noble thwarts a tarantula attempt.   He goes for a top rope tornado DDT which is spoiled by Tajiri, but Noble is able to turn it into his own tarantula.  Tajiri's minions attack again as Noble is on the top rope, delaying his dive which gives Tajiri time to strike with a mid air kick to the stomach, and immediately hit the kill kick to the head to pick up the win.  Tajiri retains his title.