Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 11/22/2003 & WWE Heat 11/23/2003

 

Check out the Ruthless audio podcast on the North South Connection podcast network. 

Welcome to Slamming Saturday Night on Spike Tv!

Match #1

Sean O'Haire vs Ultimo Dragon

Ultimo Dragon attempts two shoulder blocks that no sold and send the Dragon to the mat.  Dragon comes back with a leg sweep and gets power pressed off the cover attempt.  O'Haire misses a charge and Dragon hits several swift kicks, but the run is ended by a big clothesline.  O'Haire grinds Ultimo in the corner and the biels him across the ring followed by a violent spinal tap kick.  O'Haire locks in a back stretch and lands several hard kicks to the ribs.  Ultimo gets a dragon leg screw and a cradle for a 2 count.  Dragon's sunset flip was denied, buy when O'Haire picks up the cruiserweight from Japan, he hits O'Haire with a dropkick and then a baseball slide after O'Haire bails to the outside.  Ultimo Dragon tries an Asai moonsault, but O'Haire just walks away.  O'Haire hits his inverted Death Valley Driver for the win in 4:52.  (*1/2)

Match #2

Nunzio with Johnny the Bull Stamboli vs Paul London with Spanky

London and Spanky are debuting their matching gear.  They trade arm bars and trade leg sweeps and pin combos.  London hits a northern lights suplex, back body drop, and a back elbow, but Johnny the Bull shoves London off the top.  Nunzio gets a snap mare and headlock. He hits a Sicilian slice second rope drop kick.  London knocks Stamboli off the apron.  Spanky tries to get in the ring but is held back by the ref allowing the Bull to pull London into the ring post while Nunzio drops the boots.  Nunzio with a double judo chop to the neck. London gets a small package but Johnny the Bull has the ref's attention.  Nunzio gets an elbow drop and a headlock.  London lands an enziguri.  London goes on a run with a hurricanrana, dropsault, underhook waffle face for 2.  Johnny the Bull puts Nunzio's foot on the rope to avoid a pinfall.  London kicks the Bull and gets a standing moonsault.  Stamboli grabs London's foot and Spanky comes flying in from the ring with a plancha to take out Stamboli.  Nunzio gets his knees up on a spring board moonsault.  Nunzio then hits a 2nd rope drop kick to the mush to get the win in 6:49. (**3/4)

Match #3

Funaki vs Chuck Palumbo

Palumbo gets on his knees to mock the height of Funaki but eats a drop kick. Quickly over powers Funaki, but Funaki runs away from the larger man and gets a drop kick and a leg sweep.  Palumbo gets a belly to belly suplex, a short arm clothesline, and corner stomps.  He locks in an arm vice and transitions into a hard irish whip.  He then gets a discus punch and a bear hug.  Funaki gets a reversal into a spinning DDT.  Palumbo misses a charge and hits the post with his shoulder.  Funaki gets a bulldog.  Funaki tries for a back slide but the attempt is thwarted and eats a Whack kick for a shocking near fall.  Funaki nails an enziguri kick heads to the top rope.  He gets caught on a cross body attempt and Palumbo turns that into a Samoan drop to pick up the win in 5:47.  (**1/4)

Match #4

Scotty 2 Hotty with Rikishi vs Rhyno 

Josh Mathews begins talking about what a run Scotty and Rikishi have been on Velocity, by saying they were victorious in a 6-man tag over the FBI last week. That is a bald faced lied, as the FBI picked up the win last week, I will not stand for Mathews' propaganda.  Rhyno begins the match with some strikes and throws Scotty shoulder first into the turnbuckle followed by a shoulder block.  Scotty grabs the ropes on a irish whip and sends Rhyno over when he charges.  He busts a move and then hits Rhyno with a baseball slide.  Back in the ring, Scotty accidently shoulders the post.  Rhyno capitalizes with a single arm DDT and an arm bar.  Rhyno mocks the dancing which allows Scotty to get a tilt a whirl head scissors.  He follows up with a flying forearm, and super kick for 2.  Scotty goes for his pre worm bulldog but Rhyno mows him down with a clothesline.  Rhyno sets up for the gore to finish Scotty off but randomly decides to go over the Rikishi at ring side and jaw with him.  Rhyno pie faces Rikishi who responds with a punch.  Rhyno stumbles into a DDT and then gets hit with the W-O-R-M.  Scotty wins in 5:06. (*1/2)

24 hours later we are ready for some Sunday Night Heat!

Match #1

Rosey and Hurricane vs Jeremy Lopez and Michael Koch.  

Snow calls the local talent, the Bobbacanoosh brothers the whole time and I'm going with their cage match names to keep things straight.  Hurricane starts with an armbar, snap mare, and yanks him down after wrapping his arms.  Lopez tags out to Koch who is very large man.  Once in the ring it is clear that we have a 6'5 Great Khali which is not ideal.  Blind tag to Rosey for a clothesline and shoulder block.  Tag to Hurricane for a top rope leg drop.  He knocks Lopez off the apron and hits a flurry of punches to Koch.  Koch hits a few forearms and tosses Hurricane outside. Lopez hits a drop kick outside.  Once in the ring, Lynn latches in a terrible looking camel clutch.  Hurricane gets a roll up attempt out of it for 2, but immediately runs into a powerslam.  Koch tags in for a suplex, but then misses the elbow drop.  Hurricane tags in Rosey who cleans house, ending with a spinning urinage to Lynn and a Somoan drop on Koch.  He hits a super hero leg drop on Koch but Lynn breaks up the fall.  Rosey drives Lynn into Koch in the corner to squish them both.  Hurricane comes out of nowhere for a shining wizard to the dome on Koch.  Rosey hits an impressive second rope moonsault to get the win in 6:14.  (*1/2)

Match #2

John Heidenreich vs Jared Steele

Steele starts with a drop kick to Heidenreich's knee but immediately eats a big boot, corner shoulders, sidewalk slam for 2.  Heidenreich follows it up with another slam and locks in a bear hug.  Steele punches out of the hold but gets body slammed again.  Heindenreich misses two elbow drops.  Steele tries to follow up with a few punches but runs into a sidewalk slam for the pin in 3:05. (1/2*).

Match #3

Maven vs Masada 

Maven starts off with headlocks and leg sweeps.  He eventually beils Masada across the ring by his goatee, but Masada is up quickly for a clothesline and a neck breaker.  Maven just tackles Masada and starts rapidly punching his face.  Maven misses a drop kick when Masada grabs the ropes. Masada capitalizes by grabbing a headlock. Maven gets a sunset flip out of it for 2, but Masada grabs another headlock after a clothesline and a snap mare.  Maven breaks free again and they clothesline each other simultaneously.  Maven is up first, gets a back body drop, a flying forearm, and spinning heel kick.  He heads to the top rope for his float over bulldog finish to win in 4:34. (1/2 *)

Match #4

Match #4 Gail Kim vs Trish Stratus

 

Gail Kim vs Trish Stratus

Gail Kim attacks before the bell.  She snap mares Trish and chokes her with Trish's long jacket.  She chokes Stratus in the corner a few times no without the jacket.  Lou Thesz press by Trish, followed by punches.  She gets a dropkick, several chops, and jumping clotheslines on Kim until she goes Matrix to avoid a Kim clothesline.  Kim just blasts her from that position and gets a side walk slam for 2.  Gail gets a bow and arrow hold that Trish rotates out of for pin attempt.  Gail kicks out and throws Trish outside. She rams Stratus' back into the apron.  Gail crashes and burns on a springboard attempt back into the ring.  Trish attempts a cover but Gail goes back to offense immediately.  She gets a back breaker and then takes too long climbing to the top rope and Trish uses a head scissors to get her down.  Trish gets a spinebuster for 2.  Stratus nails her Stratusfaction springboard DDT to pick up the win in 4:13.  (*)

One of the worst Heat's I have reviewed. Even Coach and Snow were bad on this night and genuinely enjoy them usually.  

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 10/25/2003 & WWE Heat 10/25/2003 10/26/2003

To check out this week's Raw and Smackdown podcast "Ruthless" and all the fun that goes with that, just click this link.

This week Heat has been preempted on Sunday by Spike TV so it aired Saturday Night before Velocity. 

Saturday Night Heat with Johnathan Coachman and Al Snow

Match #1 

Hurricane/Rosey vs Arch Kincaid/Bobby Rude

Hurricane gives a mask to kid ringside.  Snow asks if it gave Coach flashbacks to when his parents would put a paper bag on his head.  Hurricane and Arch Kincaid start the action with Hurricane.  The super hero starts out with an arm bar, headlock, shoulder block combo and does the patented Hurricane pose.  Arch Kincaid hits a shoulder block and does a weird pose, apparently Kincaid wants to be known as the "Sexual Intellectual".  Hurricane hits another shoulder block and once again shows Kincaid the proper pose.  

Tag to Rosey, who locks in his own arm bar.  Kincaid tries several punches to Rosey's stomach but they have no effect, so he levels Kincaid with a clothesline.  A diving splash and falling headbutt leave Kincaid in a bad way. Kincaid rakes the eyes to tag in a bleach blonde Bobby Rude.  Rosey hits them with a double clothesline and tags in Hurricane for a top rope cross body for a two count.  Kincaid low bridges Hurricane and he topples to the outside. Back in the ring, Rude lays the boots.  Tag into Kincaid for a double suplex, and some weird soft heat butts to the ribs.  Tag back to Rude for a body slam, and jumping knee, and locks in a back stretch.  Hurricane hits a desperation tornado DDT.  They both crawl to make the tag.  Rosey's hot tag has clotheslines, a back body drop, sidewalk slam, body slam, super hero leg drop.  Rude attempts to break up the cover so Rosey moves and hits Kincaid.  Rosey stacks them in the corner for a double splash.  Hurricane hits a shining wizard.  The heroes hit their finish of a spinning Somoan drop combined with a neckbreaker combo to win in 6:39. (**)

Match #2

Tommy Dreamer vs Rico with Miss Jackie

They trade headlocks, til a Rico take down that allows him to ride Tommy like a pony.  Rico offers for Tommy to ride him now, but Dreamer kicks him in the gut.  Rico jumps into Dreamer's arms Bugs Bunny in a dress and Dreamer slams him after some playful eye contact.  Rico hits a back elbow and lots of kicks and rope added pin attempt fails.  Loud Rico sucks chants.  He hits a middle rope double ax handle.  While Rico distracts the referee, Miss Jackie comes in and hits a float over DDT.  A big clothesline from the top his blocked by Dreamer.  The Innovator of Violence gets an atomic drop and neck breaker for 2.  Rico avoids the death valley driver, but his powerbomb attempt is countered into a Spicoli driver.  Jackie puts Rico's foot on the rope to avoid the pinfall.  Dreamer hits a big DDT but Jackie runs in to stop the count and Dreamer plants a kiss on her.  He turns into spinning heel kick to pick up the win in 3:42. (*)

In the back, Rosey is about have a donut.  Hurricane flies in to stop him.  "This could be why you were stuck in a phone booth", The Hurricane informs his protégée. Rosey says that it's a protein donut.  John Heidenrich enters and says they are his favorite duo.  He wants a blurry jpeg photo of the three of them with his flip phone for Little Johnny.  They agree to the photo op.  Hurricane asks if Little Johnny wants to be in a photo, but Heidenrich says that little Johnny is camera shy and leaves.  Hurricane tells Rosey, no more donuts, so Rosey walks off dejected.  Hurricane takes a bite of the donut.

Johnathan Coachman is in the ring to announce his new role as the official book reviewer of Monday Night Raw.  He will begin with Lita' s book.  He says that it is a sham because she doesn't give him any credit for her come back from neck surgery even though he inspired her every week when they were the commentary team on Heat together.  The book should be in the fiction section.  Lita comes out, and says that Coach did inspire her.  She was inspired to quit broadcasting and get back into the ring because Coach was such a pain to deal with.  Coach says he's 6'4 230 pounds and she should watch what she says.  Leave and let him finish his business.  She asks to be allowed to apologize to Coach.  Words can't express how sorry she is so she would like to show him physically.  The gently touches coach's arm and then boots him in the gut which sends him between the ropes and to the floor.  

We are show the Road Warrior Hawk tribute video.  

Match #3 

Val Venis vs Steven Richards with Victoria

Steven Richards comes out wearing a towel and mocks Val's entrance, but Val attacks before he can finish it.  Lots of punches, elbows, and kicks, until Val hits a Russian leg sweep.  Victoria grabs Val's leg which allows Richards to hit a DDT.  He heads to the top but Val hits the ropes to crotch him.  Val hits a clothesline, shoulder block, half nelson slam, and powerbomb for a 2 count.  Val goes up for the money shot but Richards gets the knees up.  Val gets the boot up on a charge and gets a fisherman suplex, but Victoria has the ref's attention.  Val makes camera motions because apparently he wants to film her for a movie made in the 1940's.  She goes to punch Val but he ducks and instead connects with Richards.  Val hits a spinebuster and then a leg lock that Richards has to tap out to because Victoria can't save him since she is very busy yelling at her fist in 4:54. (*1/4)

Velocity 

Josh Matthews as play by play and Michael Cole on color.

Michael spends most of the evening just being awful to Matthews to varying degrees of success.  But it is very weird and awkward.  Maybe we will get a similar Josh storyline on Smackdown that we got with Coach on Raw.

Match #1

Shannon Moore vs Orlando Jordon 

Orlando Jordon starts with a shoulder block and a hip toss.  Moore pokes the eyes and trips Jordon onto the ropes.  He starts laying in kicks to the head and chokes him.  Moore hits a snap suplex and a side back suplex.  OJ gets a boot up on a top rope flying nothing.  Jordon got the leg up with Moore even jumped so it looked extra stupid.  Jordon nails a flying forearm and follows it up with a back body drop and a Johnson shuffle series of punches to get a 2 count.  OJ gets caught on a corner charge with a boot by Moore who follows up with a leaping leg lariat from the middle rope.  Moore throws a tantrum after the 2 count.  He walks right into a swinging neck breaker for the win in 3:46. (*)

Match #2

Spanky & Paul London vs Rob Bagley & Mike Taylor

Spanky starts out with Bagley.  Both jobbers have platinum blonde bleached hair and served in the military.  Bagley hits a shoulder block but is quickly brought down with a drop toe hold.  He tags in Paul London who hits a sunset flip, but a kick to the guy allows for the tag to Mike Taylor.  London hits a monkey flip in the corner and Spanky nails a top rope cross body for 2.  Spanky hits a flip over drop kick on Taylor but Bagley catches him for a stun gun.  It's neck vise time.  Tag out to Bagley who locks in his own neck vise.  Riveting stuff.  Spanky rolls through to tag London.  London hits several drop kicks, avoids a double suplex.  Both jobbers are sent outside after suplexes and get hit with stereo suicide dives.  A STO shining wizard combo end it for the brand new team in 5:03 (**)

The APA are walking in the hall talking about how they wished Britney Spears would kiss Jenna Jameson.  They are aghast to see London and Spanky at their poker table.  The rookies want to celebrate their first big win.  Bradshaw is upset that they drank some of their beer and ate their popcorn.  He is so upset that he dumps other beer and popcorn on Spanky.  Bradshaw suggests that they should beat them up. Spanky begs for mercy.  Bradshaw lightens up a bit and says that in order to make in this business you have you bust your ass and Faarooq adds to drink your ass off.  Kendrick grabs a beer and pours it in his mouth.  He slumps over to the floor.  He must have had quite the head start.  The APA thinks he has some potential.  London says he doesn't drink but he'll try.  The camera pans to Faarooq who says, "Damn."

Match #3

Rey Mysterio & Ultimo Dragon & Kidman vs FBI

During the entrances Matthews says the FBI are an Italian Dream Team, the faces are an International Dream Team, Cole interrupts Matthews to say that Matthews' team is the Wet Dream Team.  What? 

Ultimo Dragon and Nunzio start out.  Nunzio gets on a kick attempt for a leg sweep.  Double back elbows as tags are made.  Kidman squares off his Johnny the Bull now.  Kidman gets an arm drag, head scissors, and clothesline for 2.  Chuck Palumbo pulls Kidman down from the apron so the heels can take advantage.  Polumbo is tagged in and starts beating Kidman in the corner, a snap mare, and spinal tap kick, neck vise.  Kidman escapes for a drop kick but gets squished with a somoan drop quickly to stop Kidman from tagging.  Kidman is able to get a hurricanrana and tags in Rey.  Nunzio is in now and gets hit with flying cross body, flapjack, and a drop kick.  Johnny the Bull comes in and sent out.   A seated senton to Palumbo.  Nunzio is kicked to the middle rope but The Bull pulls Nunzio away from the 619 and Palumbo crushes Rey.  We have a unicorn rarity moment, and two segment match on Velocity!

We're back with Rey being picked apart in the corner by the FBI.  Johnny the Bull chokes Rey.  Nunzio is in for boots and starts doing taunting jumping jacks. He locks in a neck vise.  Mysterio escapes and gets a bulldog but Palumbo runs in and pulls Rey away from making the tag and irish whips Rey hard into the corner.  Nunzio and Johnny the Bull pull Reys legs to crotch him against the ring post.   It's Nunzio and Ultimo Dragon in the ring now and Nunzio tries to back body drop him but Dragon lands on his feet and tees off on Nunzio with a series of lightning fast kicks.  He gives Palumbo a drop kick and a head scissors for Stamboli and a springboard moonsault to Nunzio.  The bigger FBI guys catch the Dragon for a double team slam.  Kidman breaks up the cover.  Johnny the Bull holds Kidman but Kidman ducks and Palumbo decks The Bull.  Springboard dropkick to Palumbo in the corner by Mysterio. Kidman baseball slides into his yambag, and immediately planchas onto Stamboli outside.  Dragon hits a series of kicks on Nunzio, goes for a running move of some sort but we'll never know as Palumbo mows him down with a huge kick.  Nunzio covers for the win in 10:22.  (**3/4)

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 10/18/2003 & WWE Heat pre No Mercy Edition 10/19/2003

                                               

                         Check out this week's breakdown of Raw & Smackdown in audio form here.

                                      

         Tonight we have Tazz and Josh Mathews on commentary.  Unfortunately Tazz tells us this is his last Velocity and a new color commentator will start next week.  He will go out with a bang as we will get into later.  Stay Tuned.

                                         Match #1 

                                         A-Train vs Orlando Jordan

Train starts with knees to the gut. Jordan slides out of a powerslam and they trade strikes.  Orlando gets caught off the top with bicycle kick to the stomach.  Train lands a serious of heavy strikes.  He locks in an inverted full nelson and then drops to his knees in an impressive looking move.  Train locked in a neck vise after a snap mare.  OJ turns inside out on a slam to get a flash pin attempt.  Inziguri to the A-Train's midsection, quick jabs. Jordan's offense is short lived because he runs into a back elbow. Jordan does get his feet up on a Vader bomb.  Train misses a charge into a rollup attempt by Jordan who hits two dropkicks.  Train hits a powerful clothesline and finishes Jordan off with the Train Wreck in 4:15 (**)

Match #2

Matt Hardy with Shannon Moore vs Funaki 

During the entrances Tazz gives us a parting gift of a rant complaining about Pamela Anderson attacking Kentucky Fried Chicken over killing chickens.  Tazz goes into how you got to kill them before you can eat them and then goes after a plastic shortage because Pam Anderson, "Ya know the one with the real big hammers.", has used it all up.  Just Tazz enjoying nobody paying attention to Velocity.

Matt Fact #1 Matt still has his tonsils.

Matt Fact #2 Matt dreads winter time.

Matt starts with lots of strikes, til Funaki takes an irish whip and turns it into a head scissors.  Hardy hits a side effect and tosses Funaki outside so Shannon Moore can ram his spine into the ring.  Matt does a powerslam and then locks in an abdominal stretch. Funaki drives Hardy into the corner for some shoulders to the midsection, but Moore trips him. Hardy misses a corner splash and Funaki hits on a bulldog as Hardy stumbles out.  Funaki reverses a powerslam attempt into a reverse DDT.  Funaki hits the Rising Sun which is a reverse tornado DDT out of the corner.  Funaki can't make the cover quickly so Hardy is able to kick out at 2.  Moore hops up on the apron.  Hardy reverses a whip and goes for the Twist of Fate, but Funaki shoves him away towards Shannon.  Matt puts on the brakes and Funaki charges.  Hardy evades him, so Funaki collides with Moore.  Funaki turns right into the Twist of Fate and Matt gets the three count in 5:11 (**)  This is the last television match for the V-1 character.  

Match #3

Ultimo Dragon vs Joey Matthews 

They trade positioning attempts until Mathews gets a rollup for 2.  He super celebraters with struts.  He goes on the attack with knees and chops.  Dragon catches Matthews with a leg sweep, series of kicks, and drop kick.  Matthews bails and Dragon pursues, which allows Matthew to pull Dragon's feet out from under him and crack his chin on the apron.  Mathews throws him back into the ring and connects with a top rope clothesline.  He locks in a neck vise.  Dragon rolls through and gets a kick to the face, but Matthew is quick to put him down with a neck breaker and goes back to the vise.  Ultimo gets out with a corner springboard jaw breaker, back body drop, spin heel kick combination for 2 count.  A big kick to the chest after a roll through by Dragon.  He misses a springboard dive which lets Matthews drop him for a 2 count and then a body slam.  Matthews gets caught on a top rope dive with a drop kick.  Asai DDT seals the victory for Dragon in 5:13. (2.25)

Match #4

APA vs FBI (Nunzio and Chuck Palumbo)

The FBI tries to sneak attack with chairs in the aisle but get intercepted.  Faarooq scrambles Palumbo's brains with a chair. Nunzio scoots away towards the ring begging for mercy.  Just like tomorrow's pay per view event, there will be No Mercy.  Bradshaw throws him into the steps.  He tosses Nunzio into the ring and the match is on as the bell rings.  Last Call fallaway slam to Nunzio.  Quickly tags in Faarooq to lands some hard forearms.  Nunzio tries to escape the ring but gets dragged back in.  Faarooq hits a powerslam and a back breaker.  Bradshaw is in to join in on a double shoulder block and power bomb.  Faarooq is back in for a spine buster.  Faarooq holds up Nunzio's corpse for a Clothesline from Hell.  Bradshaw hits him with a second one.  Faarooq pins Nunzio with a single hand in 4:03.  (1/2*)

Bradshaw grabs the microphone, "Nunzio, don't take that personal. You're just the first but you won't be the last.  Bashams, the APA was just fine sitting in our office drinking beer and playing cards, when you tried to make your name off of us.  I tell you what you just got a bunch of people's asses whipped.  We will not discriminate.  I don't care if you're black, brown, white, purple, or green.  Man, woman, or child.  Heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual. We will knock your ass out."

That's it for Velocity stay tuned for Confidential, we shall miss thee, Tazz.  

This episode is dedicated in loving memory of Stu Hart.  

Our pre No Mercy Heat is hosted by Josh Matthews and a young lady only known as Rue. Fun fact those two get married.  It lasts for a whole two years of wedded bliss. 

Rue only one name like Cher

The show is mostly pay per view hype videos but we do get a Big Show interview with Michael Cole where he talks about how fecal matter has been falling out of his ears for 10 days and he is going to destroy Eddie Guerrero today. 

Tazz interview the Basham brothers who lament the loss of Shaniqua the source of their sexual desires and challenge the APA tonight at the pay per view.  Based on Bradshaw's promo at the end of Velocity.  I assume they will accept.  

 

Match #1

Shannon Moore vs Billy Kidman

Cole and Tazz are commentary for this as we won't get to see if the enigma know as Rue can call a match.  They trade go behinds, Kidman gets a head scissors and sends Moore outside.  Moore ducks a baseball slide by Kidman and throws him into the barricade in a fun spot.  Moore hits a back suplex and locks in a neck vice.  He converts over to a leg lariat to the back of the head, body slam and locks in a back stretch.  Kidman gets a desperation drop kick to put both men down.  Kidman is up with a flying forearm, back body drop, and clothesline that drops Moore in the corner.  Kidman hits a baseball slide directly into Moore's yambag as Tazz says, which for some reason isn't a DQ.  Kidman goes for a suplex by Moore lands on his feet and hits spinning neck breaker.  Kidman attempts a turnbuckle assisted bulldog but Moore counters with a drop toe hold into the 2nd turnbuckle.  Moore nails a corkscrew moonsault for a false finish.  Moore throws a tantrum, this allows Kidman enough time to recover, hit an enziguri, drag Moore to the corner, and climb to the top to attempt a 450. Moore intercepts on the top Kidman wins the battle and comes down with a BK bomb to pick up the win in 5:14. (***)

We find out that heat will be moved to Saturday night at 7 next week.  We aren't told what will air in it's place. We get a promo package for the Lesnar vs Undertaker chain match main event and we go off the air transitioning to No Mercy.