Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 12/6/2003 & WWE Heat 12/7/2003

 

For the audio podcast of this week's Raw and Smackdown click here.

It's the first Velocity of December

Match #1

Akio with Tajiri vs Funaki

Funaki drop kicks Tajiri out of the ring at the bell. He follows that up with a series of drop kicks to Akio, followed by 5 mounted punches in the corner.  Akio slides out from under Funaki and drops him face first on the top turnbuckle.  Akio chokes with his boot, before locking a sleeper hold on to Funaki.   Funaki counters to a backslide and then a school boy attempt until a jumping leg lariat mows him down.  A rope aided leg choke is applied by Akio and then grabs a key lock.  Funaki no sells a corner run up and hits a bulldog.  Akio misses a heel kick which lets Fuanki connect on an enziguri.  Funaki hits a hits a high cross body for a 2 count.  Tajiri grabs Funaki's leg, then Funaki gets caught up in the ropes on a back body drop botch.  Funaki gets kicked in the head on the pin attempt.  Akio then pins Funaki with his feet on the ropes. The real sloppy ending hurt this one in 4:37. (*3/4)

Match #2 

Kanyon & Chad Collyer vs Spanky & Paul London

Chad Collyer and Spanky start out trading grapples.  Spanky gets a couple of arm drags.  Kanyon yanks Spanky down by the hair from the apron.  Kanyon comes in on a tag and immediately eats a jumping leg lariat.  London is tagged in for a double hip toss and double fist drop.  Kanyon punches himself free and tags Collier in.  He gets a baseball slide and a leg lariat.  Tag to Spanky.  Japanese arm drag, standing moonsault for 2. Kanyon pulls the rope to send Spanky crashing to the floor.  Collyer gets a back suplex and tags in Kanyon.  Kanyon holds a delayed vertical suplex and then transitions a back breaker into a stretch.  Kanyon chucks Spanky into the turnbuckles. Kanyon attempts a top rope fireman's carry, but Spanky wriggles free and powerbombs Kanyon.  They both tag and Paul London cleans house with a drop kick to Kanyon, and simultaneously hits a moonsault to Collyer froa  2 count.  Kanyon attacks London from behind but Spanky takes him out with a missile drop kick.  Spanky misses a baseball slide and Kanyon lays him out with a huge punch on the outside.  Kanyon heads back to the apron and Spanky goes into the ring to hit the double team Get Well Soon with London to get the win over Collyer at the 7:04 mark.  Collyer's nose gets busted hard way on it. (**1/4)

Match #3

Orlando Jordan vs Greg Groothuis

Greg Groothuis gets a shoulder block and Jordan gets an arm drag.  They repeat the sequence, this time with an Orlando Jordan drop kick chaser.  Groothuis gets punches in the corner, an irish whip, and a corner splash.  OJ comes back with a jaw breaker, flying forearem, drop kick, back body body drop, a flurry of Johnson shuffle punches, before a mistimed neck breaker for the three count in 3:34. (1/4*)

Match #4 

Rhyno vs Bradshaw

Bradshaw gets a head lock take over, hard irish whip, a shot to the spine, as the match spills outside.  Bradshaw bangs Rhyno's head into the steps and they re enter the squared circle to exchange strikes.  Rhyno hit some shoulders in the corner and a short arm clothesline for 2.  Rhyno gets a snap mare into a headlock.  Bradshaw fights out and gets a DDT, quickly followed up with running clotheslines and suplex.  Rhyno attempts a cross body but Bradshaw catches him for the Last Call fallaway slam.  Rhyno pulls ref in the way of a clothesline from hell but gets the big boot for a pinfall at 5:46.  Rhyno does gore Bradshaw after the match during the the celebration. (*1/2)

Sunday Night Heat

Match #1

Victoria with Steven Richards vs Ivory

Victoria dominates a test of the strength into a version of a surfboard.  Ivory eventually works her way free, flip Victoria off of her and then gives her a giant swing.  Ivory drops Victoria face first on the top turnbuckle for snake eyes.  Ivory gets caught with a powerslam, and Victoria follows that up with a rope aided spinning leg drop.  Ivory gets a foot on the ropes to break the fall.  Victoria hits a back breaker, a tilt a whirl slam, and scoop slam.  Ivory moves out of the way of a moonsault and a drop kick to the face from Ivory afterwards.  Ivory gets a hurricanrana and then boots Ivory to the floor.  Stevie climbs on the apron, and Ivory plants a kiss on him.  Ivory turns around into the widowpeak as her horniness was her undoing.  I mean remember he insationableness is why D-Lo Brown brought her to the company years ago.  Victoria cover at 4:44 to win. (**).

Match #2

The Hurricane & Rosey vs Chad Collyer & Greg Groothuis

Collyer and Hurricane start out and trade grapples.  Collyer gets a hip toss.  Hurricane head scissors, Collyer to ret up a reverse unprettier.  He tags in Rosie so they can perform a double hip toss and Rosey hip tosses Hurricane on top off Collyer.  Rosey squishes him with a leg drop.  Collyer tags in the big man Groothuis, but he gets over powered by Rosey with clotheslines, heavy strikes in the corner and a belly to belly to suplex.  Tag to Hurricane for a top rope leg drop for a two count.  Hurricane whips Groothuis who almost hit Collyer on the apron.  The big fella stops short to avoid trucking his partner but Hurricane uses the distraction for a rollup attempt.  The kickout send Hurricane into Collyer's range for a cheap shot with a kick.  Collyer tags in and puts on a back stretch.  Hurricane gets a slam to escape and tags back in Rosey.  Rosey is a flurry of clotheslines, back body drop, and neck breaker.  He double clotheslines both local competitors and scoop slams Groothuis.  Hurricane leaps from Rosey's shoulders as the Tribal Chief is say atop the highest turn buckle for a splash to with in 4:49.  (*1/2)

Match #3 

Jon Heidenreich vs El Conquistador

El Conquistador appears to be portrayed by Nick Dinsmore. Don't use cagematch to verify as I am the one that suggested him.  But if you can find some other evidence please do so in the comments.  El Conquistador starts with some forearm strikes, dodges a big boot, and hangs Heidenreich on the top rope stun gun.  El Conquistador climbs to the top but gets caught and beeled across the ring.  Heidenreich scoop slams him for a two count.  Heidenreich starts beating on the Conquistadors leg.  Our Mexican friend gets loose and takes Heidenreich down with a chop block.  He follows with a drop kick and a Russian leg sweep.  A big boot by the big man ends the flurry.  He adds two giant clotheslines and a back body drop.  Heidenreich goes for a cover after a corner charge clothesline but El Conquistador gets his foot on the ropes.  An End of Days slam finishes in 3:30. (*1/2)  During Heidenreich's celebration Steven Richards appears out of nowhere to clobber him with a few chair shots in revenge for the shoot broken neck Heidenreich gave him last week.  

Match #4

Mark Henry with Theodore Long vs Maven

Before the match starts Teddy Long wants to holla at us playas.  He tells us that Mark Henry is the most dominant man in sports entertainment and the strongest man in the world.  Now stand up and show your respect to Mark Henry.  Any man in the back, a brown man, a green man, even a light skinned brotha. Get out here right now.   

Maven comes out and is immediately over powered.  Henry gets a giant shoulder block and clubbing blows.  Maven gets beiled across the ring and flattened with a pop up slam.  Henry misses a leg drop.  Maven hits him with two drop kicks which don't send Henry to the mat.  Henry brushes aside a third one.  Maven tries mounted punches in the corner.  Henry just throws him out of the ring.  Maven quickly scales the turnbuckles for a missile drop kick for 2.  Maven gets caught on the 2nd rope cross body and gets erased with a World's Strongest Slam for the win in 2:28.  (*1/4).

Ruthless C Shows WWE Velocity 11/8/2003 & WWE Heat 11/9/2003

 

Check the audio version of this week's Raw and Smackdown breakdown.

It's a Saturday Night what else to do than watch some WWE Velocity!

Match #1

The World's Greatest Tag Team Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas vs Billy Kidman and Funaki

Shelton and Funaki start out.  Funaki gets a drop kick to the knee and then the face.  Tag to Kidman for a sunset flip attempt for a 2 count.  Benjamin tags in Charlie Haas.  Kidman hits a snap mare and head scissors.  Charlie Haas fights back with a clothesline, and Shelton comes in for a broken arrow double team stun gun.  Shelton turns a back breaker into a stretch.  Kidman breaks free for a cross body, but Shelton grabs his leg to prevent the tag.  Haas in for a hard Irish whip to the corner, a body slam, and a bear hug.  Kidman breaks free, gets a drop kick and tags in Funaki.  Funaki hits an enziguri, spinning head scissors, tornado DDT for a 2 count.  Funaki gets caught with a Shelton Benjamin gorilla press onto Charlie Haas' knee.  Kidman breaks up the fall.  He hits Shelton with a bulldog.  He climbs up top for a shooting star press attempt but instead hits an intervening Charlie Haas with a top rope kick.  Kidman falls victim to a back body drop to Kidman.  Funaki rolls through on Haas but eats a super kick from Benjamin to end it in 6:39.  (**1/2).

A Bashams promo

Doug says that Eddie Guerrero's shenanigans won't work again.  They are brothers.  There are real famalia.  Danny says they don't stay down unless Shaniqua tells them to.  They won't lose their titles.

Match #2

Spanky and Paul London vs Shannon Moore and Kanyon

Start with a double team Japanese arm drag, and a partner aided moonsault by Paul London.  Shannon brings him down with a hair pull and tags in Kanyon who gets caught with an arm drag.  London gets a top rope arm grasped leg drop.  Tag to Spanky for a launched sunset flip.  Spanky gets a hip toss and locks in an arm bar.  Kanyon powers out and hangs him on the top rope.  A tag to Shannon Moore for some rope chokes and stomps.  Kanyon back in for a swinging neck breaker and a rope bounce bulldog.  Shannon Moore tagged back in to hit a snap suplex and synch in a back stretch.  Spanky uses forearm strikes to escape.  Moore misses a corner splash.  Both men tag out.  London hits a high crossbody and a dropsault kick, followed by a springboard moonsault.  Moore hits a back suplex but Spanky nails a flying forearm.  Kanyon hits a Kanyon bomb on Spanky.  Paul London attempts a roll up.  Kanyon's flatliner attempt to London in broken up.  Spanky hits a super kick to Moore. A double team reverse STO with an eziguri combo to get the win for Spanky and London in 6:42.  (***1/4)

Match #3

Sean O'Haire vs Showtime Eric Young

O'Haire biels Young across the ring and hits him with a spinal tap kick.  It is followed up with a jawbreaker and clothesline.  Another pair of spinal taps with some rope choking and a bear hug.  A devastating face breaker transitions into ta reverse fireman's carry for the squash win in 2:26.  (*)

Match #4

Rikishi with Scotty 2 Hotty vs Chuck Palumbo with Johnny the Bull Stamboli

Palumbo starts off with a headlock.  Rikishi breaks out with a big clothesline and a hard irish whip into the corner.  Palumbo bails to the outside before the stink face.  Palumbo back in for huge strikes. The Bull gets a cheap shot.  Palumbo hits a big boot, stomps, rope choke, big knees to the stomach, headlock.  Palumbo decides to give the top rope a try for a sunset flip.  Palumbo misses a charge in the corner and hits the post with his shoulder.  Palumbo comes back with a big boot because Rikishi takes too long to capitalize.  Palumbo taunts Scotty ringside who stupidly tries to get in the ring which allows The Bull to come in for the double team.  Palumbo holds Rikishi but Stamboli misses the super kick and hits his partner.  Rikishi gets his knees up on a splash attempt.  Palumbo tries a rollup attempt with help of the ropes, but Rikishi kicks out.  Palumbo misses a super kick and gets his leg caught on the top rope.  He randomly falls in the corner to be set up for the running buttock ram.  A yoko splash ends in 8:16.  Rikishi was gassed from the starts here.  A generous (3/4*)

We transition to the next day for a little Sunday Night Heat

Match #1

Rene Dupree vs Hurricane 

The crowd chants, USA as the two trade arm bars.   Hurricane attempts a roll up and follows that with three arm drags and turn buckle run up crossbody.  Dupree gets in control with a drop toe hold into the bottom rope, a snap mare. float over neck breaker, knee drop, and locks in a chin lock.  Hurricane escapes for an eye of the Hurricane.  He hits a jumping clothesline, an inverted unprettier, back drop over the top, followed by a over the top rope crossbody to the floor.  Dupree tries to stop Hurricane from a top rope move, Hurricane fights Dupree off only to be caught coming off the top by a fisherman suplex.  Hurricane comes right back with a float over neck breaker.  He misses the shining wizard follow up and Dupree rolls him up holding to the ropes to pick up the victory in 5:27.  (**)

Match #2 

Tommy Dreamer vs Phil Babbacanouche

Dreamer starts with a drop toe hold followed up the neck breaker.  He tosses Babbacanouche outside and bounces his head off of the barricade.  Dreamer starts running his mouth to someone ringside.  This allows him to get caught for some strikes.  Babbacanouche takes Dreamer's Lebron James jersey off, who is in the front row watching and chokes Dreamer with it.  He wipes his nose with it to loud boos.  Lebron is shown ringside laughing. Babbacanouche's run is over as he is caught on the top rope, hung upside down in the tree of woe and eats a drop kick to the face.  Dreamer uses the jersey to assist a neck breaker and follows that up with a reverse DDT.  He then hits his Impaler DDT to get the win in 3:07.  (*)  Lebron applauds. Dreamer puts the jersey back on and hits Babbacanouche with the singapore cane.  He gives the cane to the young child sitting with Lebron.  

Match #3

Gail Kim vs Jacqueline

Gail Kim shoves Jacqueline down, but Jacqueline comes firing back with punches, a flap jack and chucks Gail to the outside.  Jacqueline hits a clothesline on the outside and returns her to the ring for mounted punches.  Gail turns the mounted punches into a spinebuster and then chokes Jacqueline with the ropes.  Jacqueline fires back with big clotheslines, a leg sweep, and stun gun on the tope rope.  Gail Kim gets a drop kick to the back of the knee, locks in a stretch muffler and gets the submission victory in 2:54. (**)

Hurricane and Rosey are chatting backstage.  Rosey doesn't know how he stands a chance tonight when he just watched his mentor get beat.  Hurricane tells Rosey that he may lose matches, but the Hurricane isn't beaten.  He will always fly again.  Show Rob Conway that Rosey has super powers, biotch.  Rosey is fired up and says that he is the S.H.I.T., boyee.  Should evil once again come into play.  The Hurricane will be there to save the day!

Match #4

Rosey vs Rob Conway

Rob Conway punches to start and may have bitten Rosey.  Rosey fires back with a clothesline, chop block, hip toss, corner splash, and open hand slaps.  He gets a little zealous and rams his shoulder into the post on a charge. Conway capitalizes with a neck vise as Rene Dupree is making his way to ring side.  Conway starts laying elbows into the side of Rosey's head and steals his mask.  Conway dons it for a second only to walk into a sidewalk slam.  Rosey follows up with a backdrop and a body slam.  Dupree takes a swing with the French flag but misses.  The ref ejects Dupree, which allows for Hurricane to sneak in for the Somoan drop/neck breaker double team finish in 3:16.  (**).