BNE continues the season of dreams, the game of the week was the game of the weak, and The Collegians grasp on the porcelain gets even tighter.
Bricklayers 99 defeat The Collegians 87
The Collegians got double goose eggs from the slash position and may be close to slashing his wrists as the ride to the toilet feels almost inevitable. Bricklayers were led by new addition Jonah Coleman's 17 which made up for the failed Jeremayiah Love experiment. Usually when Bricklayers experiments with Love it looks like this. Bricklayers second half schedule is sneaky tough. Has he done enough already to hold on to a coveted playoff spot.
Eh Big Dude 146 defeats Stabmybalzrepeatedly 131
I wanted Freddie Kruger but got Freddie Mercury and it's glorious.
Joe Burrow threw for 6 touchdowns to the tune of 46 points and Tyler Allgeier went from 3 string to first string and exploded for 34. SMBR continues to put up solid points but the struggles to replace Hurts after the blood clots has been a struggle. Bucky Irving has been scored 35, 6, 24, 25 points in the past month to keep SMBR's hopes alive.
Tinker Stinkers 150 defeat Bay-Bay's 117.65
Lamar Jackson broke his thumb on the first play pulled the goose egg. With Huntley also suffering a turf toe injury it was not a great day for Raven Phalanges. It's a sad day in Baltimore and Canada. The Stinkers has made about eleventy billion trades this season. Has he built a contender? He has now won 3 in a row and has gotten back to a 50% win percentage which matches his artery blockage level. A soft schedule remains for Tinker Stinkers. Stinkers had the highest score of the week and the highest cholesterol.
Los Zapatistas 114 defeat Rush'n Missiles 91
In a wolf on wolf matchup in which the loser would have very slim playoff hopes, The Shoes reestablished himself as the Alpha wolf over RM. Has Los Zapatistas QB carousel finally ended on Kirk Cousins? He gave LZ 32 puntos. LZ has not had the same QB two weeks in a row since Dart's season ended in week 2. The Missiles have lost 5 in a row and are much closer to the toilet than the playoffs. A week 13 matchup the Collegians could decide who takes the home the embarrassment.
Hardcore Cabinet 116 defeats Dollars 109
The Chicago Bears swarmed all over the Seahawks and gave Hardcore Cabinet his second straight Monday Night comeback win. Dollars had 42 points after Thursday night. The Jags scored 42 points but the two slashes from this game on the Jags combined for 6 points. Despite the early schedule maker problems, Dollars has fallen back to the middle of the pack in points, which makes those tough loses earlier in the season even more devastating. On top of that his playoff predictions currently only have 3 in the top 7. Both teams schedules ease up the rest of the way so they could sneak further up the standings.
Big Nasty Express 145 defeats Ogre's Death Squad 121
Ogre's Death Squad tried to protect their undefeated season with their first non shitty week in 3 tries but it was to no avail as BNE continued to roll. ODS had three receivers combine for less than ten points. Who would have thought that BNE would get worse when Breece Hall returns from injury and digs into new found stud Braelon Allen's bonanza. The 8-0 starts all but guarantees that BNE will be making the playoffs but a schedule that includes the 2nd through 5th teams in the standings along with tough losing teams Dollars and SMBR. We will see who BNE is the rest of the way.
Italian Stallions 89 defeat Blue Gatorade 83
It live up the hype as both team had several underwhelming performances. After an undefeated start, has the bottom fallen out on BG? He has scored 140 points total in the past two weeks and has fallen from 1st place to 3rd in a fortnight. Derrick Henry has been pedestrian of late and the Ravens passing game is DOA. Christian Watson went full Stone Cole Steve Austin and came back from the hospital to get a few more points for the Loins and allow them to pick up the win despite having the third lowest score of the week.
This week HC and LZ had 6-1 weeks to tie for the lead. The Loins limped to a 2-5 finish for last. Overall Dollars has the overall lead and SMBR brings up the caboose. Where are you? Check it out.
While the Skynet playoff odds are way too early be accurate, I thought it would be fun to include it here. This won't be a weekly feature til nut cutting time.
1. Big Nasty Express 72-32 100%
2. Italian Stallions 68-36 97%
3. Eh Big Dude 66-38 99%
4. Bay-Bay's 66-38 54%
5. Dollars 64-40 61%
6. Blue Gatorade 58-46 97%
7. Tinker Stinkers 53-50-1 65%
8. Bricklayers 52-52 62%
9. Los Zapatistas 47-56-1 16%
10. Hardcore Cabinet 43-61 38%
11. Stabmybalzrepeatedly 42-62 4%
12. Ogre's Death Squad 38-66 2%
13. Rush'n Missiles 36-68 0.74%
14. The Collegians 22-82 0%
Game of the Week
#1 Big Nasty Express vs #2 Eh Big Dude
EBD 20-13
#12 ODS vs #4 IS
ODS 15-10
#7 HC vs #11 SMBR
HC 10-5
#6 TS vs #5 BL
BL 8-2
#9 $$ vs #13 RM
$$ 8-2
#8 BB vs #4 BG
Tied 2-2
Toilet Bowl Game of the Week
#10 Los Zapatistas vs #14 The Collegians
LZ 12-10
