(Look I know it isn't the correct year, but this image includes Heat, Summerslam and Kevin Nash is about to head out for his final match on Summerslam. It fits pretty well.)
Our announcers are Josh Matthews and after a one week hiatus Ernest "The Cat Miller" has returned.
Match #1
Match #1
Shannon Moore vs Billy Kidman
Match #2
Sean O'Haire vs Funaki
Funaki tries to toss his Smackdown shirt out of the ring. It gets caught on the rope and O'Haire heads over and grabs it and blows his nose in it. O'Haire takes control with a shoulder block and then places Funaki on the apron of the ring by his hair. He then grabs Funaki and chucks him across the ring before laying him out with a massive clothesline. Sean O'Haire mantains control with knees to the arm and back, hammerlock, shoulder breaker, arm bar, and a corner choke. Funaki hits a kick to the knee and tries to make a comeback. O'Haire catches Funaki on a crossbody, but the Japanese superstar wriggles free and hits a reverse DDT. O'Haire benches Funaki off on the pin attempt. Funaki tries a tornado DDT but O'Haire catches him and lifts him up and hits his finisher, called the Widowmaker, which is an inverted Death Valley Driver for the win in 4:02. (*1/2)
We head to the back where Shelton Benjamin confronts Bradshaw for weeks of saying that Benjamin and Shaniqua were the same person. Bradshaw says there are a lot of freaks out there. Shelton says that, "I'm not a woman and I've had enough." Direct and to the point. Haas thinks a long time about whether Benjamin is in fact Shaniqua. Shelton decides to pull out his penis in order to show that he is in fact a man. Instead it is decided that they will have match to determine if Benjamin is a man or woman and all genitals are kept hidden away. Haas drinks some beer and Faarooq asks if it is Benjamin's "Time of the month"
Match #3
The Full Blooded Italians Chuck Palumbo and Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli with Nunzio
vs
Eric Young and Bobby Rude
Josh theorizes that Eric Young is Sting's little brother, I guess because of the bleach blonde spiky hair? Bull and Rude start out the match with Stamboli locking on a headlock and then hitting a shoulder block. Rude sweeps the leg and tries a crucifix pin. Quick tag to Young who hits a double axe handle on the way into the ring. The Bull grabs Young and tosses him into the corner. The FBI make the tag and Palumbo lays in some punches and kicks. Young tries a surprise rollup and gets a Samoan drop and a buckle bomb for his troubles. The FBI gets some quick tags and start in with the following sequence: Stamboli punches, Chuck kicks, Stamboli kicks, tags in Palumbo who comes in and does literally nothing and tags back to Stamboli. Bull trips Young and Palumbo hits a big boot. Young kicks out at two. Chuck is tagged back in to lock in a chinlock. Young fights out but gets cut off. He is held for The Bull to slap him from the apron twice. A desperation mule kick sets Eric Young free who finally tags in Rude. Rude hits a pair of dropkicks on the FBI followed up by a Russian leg sweep. Roode eats a kick from the Bull to the face and then an immediate kick to the back of the head by Palumbo to pick up the win for the Full Blooded Italians in 4:57. (** 1/2)
Match #4
Shelton Benjamin with Charlie Hass vs Bradshaw with Faarooq
Shelton understandably attacks at the bell but Bradshaw fires back with hard punches and a shoulder block. Benjamin takes back control with a neck breaker. Benjamin gets caught and Bradshaw delivers the Last Call falling toss for 2. Benjamin pokes Bradshaw in the eye but gets shoulder tackled out of the ring by the blinded Texan. Charlie Haas distracts Bradshaw on the outside. This allows Benjamin to hit a kick, send Bradshaw into the ring post and then into the stairs. Back in the ring, Shelton gets a Northern Lights Suplex for 2. Cloverleaf is applied by Shelton while Josh tells us that "Zach Gowen has broken his leg in two places from the attack from Brock Lesnar on Smackdown" Rare to get specific Smackdown information on Velocity. Bradshaw pulls himself to the ropes to break the hold. Bradshaw gets a flash DDT to even things up again. Once they are both back to their feet, Bradshaw goes on a flurry of a big boot, multiple corner clotheslines, and a back suplex for a near fall. Bradshaw has Benjamin up for a second Last Call, but Haas trips Bradshaw from the outside and holds Bradshaw's legs for a fun false finish. Faarooq comes over and blasts Haas. Shelton baseball slides Faarooq. Ref is distracted with Benjamin and Faarooq, while Haas sneaks into the ring and hits a clothesline. Shelton reenters and misses a splash in the corner. Clothesline from Hell! Bradshaw picks up the win in 6:47. (** 3/4)
It's the pre SummerSlam edition of Sunday Night Heat so we get a treat of Michael Cole and Tazz on commentary.
Matt Hardy declares himself winner by forfeit over Zach Gowen who was destroyed by Brock Lesnar on Smackdown.
The one and only real match
Rey Mysterio defends the Cruiserweight Title vs Shannon Moore
Shannon Moore who lost less than 24 hours before has someone earned a title match. Moore starts things off with a punch to Rey and then stands there taunting the champion. Mysterio unloads on him with punches and a head scissors. Moore hits a hip toss into the corner and side suplex for a two count. Rey takes back advantege with a roll through drop kick, springboard senton. Moore hits a corkscrew out of nowhere for a 2 count and starts to throw a tantrum. Tazz says that it reminds him of a current AEW star, Hook who is four years old. The tantrum allows Rey to head scissors Moore into the middle rope. Mysterio with a 619 and then badly botches the west coast pop but gets the win anyhow in under 3 minutes. (*1/2)
We are heading into SummerSlam baby only on Pay Per View!
