HTPB Weekly Wrap up 22.2

 

Welcome to Week 2 Electric Boogaloo. Week 2 was all about family as the older brothers prevailed and Dom was bested again by his daddy.  

For the 12th straight year, Hardcore Cabinet defeated the Italian Stallions.  The streak began way back in 2012. The last IS defeated HC was also in week 2 in 2011.  The top song in America was this, the top movies at the box office that Sunday were.  This season it seemed like Dom would finally stand up for himself and be a man, with Hardcore Cabinet down 4 different receivers, starting two different players signed out free agency, plus no Dom went full BOHICA.  Despite the two Jalen Hurts pushed in 1 yard touchdowns, the only thing that got pushed in during this matchup was Dom's shit. Look at this list of names that were involved in the matchup the last time Dom beat me.

Los Zapatista repeatedly felt the wrath of the "Gay Bengals" this week. Which is the highest form of Sergio insult, right up with his go to, "No, you are"  Big Nasty Express used a well rounded gay attack from Joe "50 tuddys and 50 blumpkins" Burrow, Tee "Bag" Higgins, Raheem "In the Butt" Mostert, Mike "leather hot pants" Evans, and the whole Big Gay Squad.  Even Cody "No Nickname Needed" Dicker dropped 10 points.  When asked to comment, Coach Nick Webb said, "Everything went FABULOUS!" 

Rush'n Missiles this year decided a different strategy from previous seasons.  In years past, RM would use the lose and score hardly any points gameplan. This season the new coaching staff has enacted a new score over 100 points and lose.  Bricklayers were unable to comment because of their refusal to get with the times.  Bricklayers seen here trying to send a message in Slack.  Bricklayers put up 134 despite a goose egg from his defense and for his head.  RM was so upset with the loss that Cory and his "Hard R" sunglasses took to social media and reached out to Alexander Mattison to complain about his performance Thursday night.

This week on the Royller Coaster, we have escalated in 7 days from saying he isn't watching and enjoying life to critiquing all lineups and demanding that people tell him how good his team is slack.  Where will his mental state land in 7 days time?  Denouncing God and demanding golden statue made in his image or telling all TAWP or whatever that initials things he says is or maybe the Blue Streak.  We will cover it all here.  Bay-Bay's appreciated the Red Path Messenger* gift from his brother after receiving the biggest beatdown of the week, which will happen when no player on your squad breaks 13 points.  

* The first car manufactured in Canada in 1903

Blue Gatorade won for the second week in the a row without being at the top of the league in points. This of course is the only way he gets lucky because Max "Friend Zone" Evans can even blow 12-1 odds.  But you can do that when your opponent a guy spends $77 in FAAB on , but doesn't play them despite Puka going for 22.75 without a TD.  Like an old lady with plastic on the couch and won't let anyone sit on it, Dollars is keeping his new Puka nice for later.  I mean do you know how much he spend on him?  Dollars can't be using him in games and wearing him out.  He's got a slightly used backup running back to use up first.  I mean why waste Puca, when you can be carried by a QB who can't hold onto the ball because his hands are slippery from massage oil and victims' tears.

All the Collegians got for their birthday was a beating with some injuries, just like he got growing up because Big Cat ain't going to raise no bitch and gave his ass something to cry about.  Waddle, Metcalf, Montgomery, which now sounds like a personal injury law firm team, went down.  Ogre's Death Squad remains undefeated and hopes to continue his dreams of having a second undefeated season, where you actually win a playoff game.  ODS may have a quarterback controversy between Richardson and Jones and just like Big E's fingers when wiping his ass, not sure which one to put in the slot.

SMBR and Jeremy's Brother decided to be where running backs go to die as Nick Chubb and Saquon Barkley went down.  SMBR was able to overcome Cam Akers not being active and still pull out a 20 point victory.  Will Jeremy's Brother be able to overcome the Chubb injury like a Jeremy or will he fold under the loss like a Jason.  It's just really hard to tease about the Chubb injury because as I type this at 7:36 AM on September, 19th, I am still actively sad about it.  So Fitzpatrick took away Chubb and my revealing in Jason's loss.  God damnit! Fuck you, Steelers.  

Power Rankings to debut next week!

Yahoo fantasy medal update.  EBD is in the lead with 13 while IS, BG, and RM have four at the bottom.  This numbers will change later today.  Check it out here.

This week's winners went BG 5-2.  Limping into last place was JB with a 1-6 finish.  Make your week 3 picks here.

Game of the Week 

#1 EBD vs #4 BL

HC vs LZ
ODS vs JB

BB vs $$

BNE vs SMBR

BG vs TC

Toilet Bowl Matchups

They being attracted to Kevin's sisters and an aversion to wins

#14 IS vs #12 RM

Good luck to all next week!