HTPB 23.3

 

Week 3 let the Commish pop his cork as the remaining undefeated teams tasted their first lost.  The league may be starting to separate but we will wait for next week for full math based tiers.

Eh Big Dude defeats Rush n' Missiles

A giant Jason Voorhees stomps on a pile of missiles.

Eh Big Dude continued putting up big points from his kicker and defense and 6 TD's to demolish Rush 'n Missiles.  Malik Nabors has been on fire to start his rookie campaign while Aaron Jones was the only one on RM who knew the game was being played.  Mark Andrews has scored 9 points all year.  He was taken to prevent a HC stack, and has been a stack of shit.  EBD has played three teams with 2-1 records and they have emerged with a 2-1 record themselves.  

Los Zapatistas defeat Tinker Stinkers

A wolf in a sombrero beats up a tiny weak wolf. 

Tinkers' put up their second stinker in a row.  Anthony Richardson almost got all the way to 4 points just like owner has almost made it to 4 feet tall.  The Shoes were led by Kyren Williams and his 3 touchdowns.  Watson scoring 19 points for complete Blake Blortles experience.  Tinker Stinkers continues to thank the fantasy gods that Bricklayers can't find that first win to keep them out of the cellar.  Tinker Stinkers last two weeks combined score of 129.92 has been bested 5 times this season in one game.

StabmyBalzrepeatedly defeats Big Nasty Express

A red bearded fool in a white t-shirt with a breast pocket is buried in a pile of bloody chairs. 

Hey remember week 1?  BNE sure does.  Good times good times man.    SMBR gets their first win of the year with Amari Cooper leading the way as the only bright spot for the Browns.  These are the actual names of guys that BNE trotted out this week without a single team on bye and only one player injured: Samaje Perine, Tyler Johnson, D'onta Foreman.    BNE is also super glad that Bricklayers exists as to keep them out of the cellar.  Big Nasty Express got a gargantuan week winner type performance out of Josh Allen but since the rest of his team is a porty potty on fire, he still tasted defeat.  

Dollars defeats Ogre's Death Squad

An Air Force pilot throws Shrek from a jet without a parachute.  

The Jets defense led the way for Dollars as they were able to fend off an Ogre's Death Squad team that had 5 players score 6 or less.  Ogre's Death Squad is heading back to gym to try and strengthen the squad.  Dollars has reeled off two straight wins but his opponent has failed to break 90 points in either of his wins but the schedule somehow gets even easier for Dollars as they play the two teams that entered week 3 winless for their next two games. Dollars is currently at 4/7 playoff predictions currently in the top 7.  

The Collegians beat Hardcore Cabinet

A Bengal Tiger in a cap and gown defeats a great champion.

It had been 295 days since Hardcore Cabinet had tasted defeat but the stack of Burrow and Chase and double doubler TD's allowed Collegians to squeak by.  Despite Hardcore Cabinet having a way more impressive D than The Collegians.  HC D brought a huge veiny 26 points while The Collegians D was more like a button on a fur coat with 5 points.  Hardcore only had Lamar Jackson to go with that D while The Collegians position players brought a bit more to the table to pick up the victory.  

Bay Bay's defeat Blue Gatorade

A mountie arrests a bald kid for being awful.

Bay-Bay's brought a bazooka to the knife fight as he lead the league in scoring to defeat a squad that has not even broken 100 points yet.  BB's got 30 points from the Packers and a combined 59 from his running backs.  Blue Gatorade said, best I can do is some Dak Prescott garbage time points and a Jahmyr Gibbs touchdown.  At 2-1 Bay-Bay's is close to having his best season ever as he has never topped 6 wins.  

Italian Stallion defeat Bricklayers

An Italian guy steals a tray of donuts to add to his spaghetti.  

While the league has lost all unbeatens, Bricklayers bravely remained the only winless team in the league.  Help is on the way as his leading scorer Zach Charbonnet will return to his backup role soon.  No more sweating out close losses, just taking decisive L's.  Could this be the season that it finally comes together for Italian Stallions?  Can he emerge from the longest playoff win drought in the league?   Or will the world return to order and Italian Stallions will be launched back down the standings like Dom launches golf cart passengers?  

This week Dollars went an impressive 6-1, with his only loss being picking against himself.  Tinker Stinkers, Blue Gatorade and SMBR bring up the rear at 3-4. Season long can be seen here.  Will someone comment below that the link works, I have never tried to combine it.

Power Rankings

(Remember Limited Data causes flawed findings)

It's too early to make any mathematical luck calculations.  But I can say IS, EBD, and LZ have been really good.  A lot of teams have been pretty bad, but only TS has been as bad as the top has been good.

The Game of the Week

#4 Bay-Bay's vs #6 Hardcore Cabinet

ODS vs TC

BNE vs LZ

BG vs IS

$$ vs SMBR

EBD vs TS

Toilet Bowl Game of Week

Loser gets shamed on the morning announcements

#14 Bricklayers vs #7 Rush n' Missiles.