HTPB 21.1

 

Welcome Back

Welcome to the 21st season of HTPB.  Nick can finally buy a beer for his auto drafted championship.  Hello to all league members, including Roy who since he is 1-0 will be reading these for at least the time being.  Right know this write-up is hilarious and a good time.  If things turn bad for his team, I am sure he will believe that this blog is a waste of time and full of personal attacks. Since this is the first blog for Dan to read, feel free to check out the archives and I am sure you can find someone to read this to you.  Dom probably will let you borrow his guy.  Also since google got smart to my game and put my ass on probation, I ask that my opponent the previous week be the person to click an advertisement for me.  So Sergio click away.

 And away we go...

In a matchup featuring nearly 14 feet of combined height nearly properly formed toes, The Kansas City Chiefs defeated the Ogre's Death Squad, as Mahomes and CEH scored 58% of Eh Bid Dude's points which was high enough to win the week's positional bet. ODS received 54% of his points from Allen and Patterson.  The only thing more disgusting than the production from players 3-9 in this matchup are the two general managers feet. 

The Collegians unloaded some trophy long faced selfies and then proceeded to choke on the memories of the past.  Stabmyballzrepeatedly used a well rounded performance to get a victory in a bottom seven scoring week which are always huge factors in making the promised land of the playoffs at the end of the season.  Both teams need hit the gym and knock out some lunges because there was not a tight end to be found in this game as Kmet and Knox combined for 1 catch for 5 yards. 

Dollars may be entering week 53 of fantasy ineptitude as he put up a league low 74.42 points and that's with Saquon Barkley rocking out for 32 of those points.  Bricklayers used an all around team effort to pulverize the Dollars in boat race fashion. Dollars will be starting the season adding to his fleet of Toyotas that he earned last year.  I would go into greater detail about what the rest of Dollars team did but children read this blog and their eyes shouldn't be exposed to that level of depravity.  Anyhoo here is a picture of dead body washed up on shore, kiddos.

I won't be talking about this win from Bricklayers point of view because he couldn't spend 30 seconds making his league picks so I'm not giving my time here on this hilarious and educational blog.

The Express put up the 2nd highest score of the week but still lost to a child.  Speaking of which Max, did you see that picture of the dead body washed up on shore, no cap that pic is boss. Yeet. 

This battle was between two members of the league that could not be around for the full draft because of sporting events and much like on draft day, Max won and Nick lost.  Nick was out defensive coordinated 10-9.  Bringing his defensive coordinator record in HTPB to 0-1.  This will be tracked all season.  

In wolf on wolf intercourse, Jeremy's Brother beat Rush'n Missiles.  Somehow these guys call themselves wolves despite clearly being sheep.  The black sheep of the families that is.  Confirmed by their father's.  Scientifically weighing their parents love.  The data is clear.  This was the closest game of the week and maybe the hot fires of this game will mold steel come playoff time.  Doubtful since these two franchises   Neither of these squads have won a playoff game since Jeremy's brother won a game in 2017.  

The Bay-Bay's were able to defeat an OG in their first game.  The Italian Stallions changed their name to some bullshit about Russell Wilson but that same fantasy ineptitude was there.  You can't witness protection away from a largely awful two decade run.  The 16 point swing in kicker/defense was the difference. Dan was able to overcome the knee injury to Eli Mitchell and his own shoulder injury he sustained while reaching for Mitchell in the third round.  

Hardcore Cabinet used three players on Monday Night to defeat Los Zapatistas.  The Shoes tried to ride a stellar performance from Swift but were held like a flower pot full of cigarette butts by the rest of their roster.  Hardcore Cabinet overcame turds from the QB/RB position to pull out the win.  Since Sergio likes to track my progress through things, here is an update on my completionism tasks.

Movie Poster 76% complete

The Amazing Spider-Man 9% complete

Sweeping your bitch ass this season 50% complete

(post draft cleanup crew)

Weekly pick em results (to be edited when yahoo updates, this is a quick scan)

Top picker Blue Gatorade 5 wins

Worst Picker TC with a goose egg

Worst Person: Bricklayers, I mean seriously what the fuck.  You can't take two minutes out of your beauty regimen to do this.

Week 2 Preview

Game of the Week 

Hardcore Cabinet vs Stabmyballzrepeatedly only matchup of undefeated teams

Toilet Bowl Game of the Week

ODS VS RM the only matchup of winless teams

Dr. Dollars' playoff predictions 2022

 

Dollars 2022 HTPB playoff picks

Here we go boys, another HTPB season about to kick off.  Last year was a tough year not only for my squad but my playoff picks as well.    Congrats to the 2021 champ The Collegians who was not one of my playoff picks.  Not that these players would have changed my mind but Hunter Renfrow and Amon-ra St Brown were both wavier wire pick ups who tore it up down the stretch.  A great example of how a few GM moves during the year can make all the difference.  Who will be that GM this year?  Luckily I haven’t had any of my drafted players season end yet.  That being said I’m back to picking myself for a playoff spot like I always have except for last year.  These picks are my bias take on teams according to how I view the players each team drafted in combination with how I perceive GM involvement/capabilities.  

Eh Bid Dude

Received my highest draft day grade A-

CMC is one of the biggest reasons, I can’t get the 20+ point per game entire season out of my head.  No TD! doesn’t matter CMC still had 20+ was crazy to see.  He’s gotta be healthy by now right?  Mahomes is another player that can go Nuts on the scoreboard staked with CEH who I’m betting will see an increase in receiving work.  Pitts, a phenom at TE who has #1 TE potential.  Keeper WR Mike Williams  who had some monster games last year, no reason not to expect more of the same.  RBs 2&3 Montgomery and CEH, solid volume plays that should get a good amount of rushing and receiving work.  WR 2 is a question mark, will one of his drafted rookies step up?  EBD is a GM that will make moves if necessary.  Just a scary team overall, feel like he can out score anyone any given week!

Italian stallions 

Draft day grade B as he snatched 3 of the players I was targeting in the first 4 rounds.  QB Russel Wilson who I so badly wanted this year!  I would be surprised if he doesn’t end the season as a top 5 QB.  WR Michael Pittman who I think will finish top 10 at the position drafted in the 2nd round and I thought I could possibly get him in the third!  Stupid mock drafts….   Anchored by RB Dalvin Cook a player who has serious top 3 finish upside.  Love AJ Dillon a strong RB2.   Keeper RB Rhamondre Stevenson is nice flex play/depth piece.  He used 6 of his 7 picks in rounds 5-12 and selected WRs.  Of the bunch I especially like Rashod Bateman, a strong breakout candidate.  The Depth at WR should give him flexibility though out the long fantasy season.  According to ADP he definitely had some reaches but I think I liked every one of them.  

The Collegians

Defending champ,  draft day grade B-

Really like Joe Mixon and his situation coming into this season.  Keeper James Connor is a very nice RB2, not particularly high on him myself but he’s in a good offense and is projected to do well again this season.  Solid group of WRs,  my favorite of which is Mike Evans who has my QB throwing to him so I’m hoping for another big year.  Other WRs include Terry McLaurin, Amari Cooper, and Jakobi Meyers are all #1 WR for their teams, and should provide consistent fantasy points.  However, none of them are in great offenses.  TE Kmet who should see heavy volume and score more than 0 TDs this season but another player not on the greatest offense.  A Good fantasy QB who I feel neutral about.  Dak Prescott who I believe has never finished outside the top 10 amongst QBs when healthy. Overall a solid team that just isn’t very sexy.  

Hardcore Cabinet 

Draft day grade B.  Started his draft off with one of my favorite 1st and 2nd round pick combinations.  Kamara and Javonte Williams will be the catalysts that make this team go.  Loaded with a bunch of solid, young, on the rise WRs.  Keeper Waddle, Moony, St.Brown and Marquise Brown.  Also, an additional 4 WRs for a total of 8 WRs!  Can start four each week if he needs to.  Great depth and flexibility for a long season.  Trendy late round QB pick Trey Lance who has tremendous upside with his ability to make plays with his legs and a savvy offensive play caller.  Mediocre TE Zach Ertz had a nice stretch of fantasy production last year.  Could receive that extra volume again during Hopkins’ suspension.  

Bricklayers 

Draft Day Grade B-  I’m betting on Travis Kelce to continue his domination at the TE position to put the Layers into the playoffs.  RB is not currently the strength of this team but I do really like the potential of Etienne, Pollard, D Henderson and D Pierce.  Think there is good chance that at least 2 of the 4 finish within the top 25 at RB.  With his first and third round picks he selected 2 WRs I absolutely love this year Diggs and Sutton.  Followed them up with some later round WRs I like as well Gallup, Aiyuk, Isaiah McKenzie and Josh Palmer all of which play on above average offensives.  Fantasy experts hotness pick At QB Jalen Hurts.  I myself was not as sold on him but he has been really good for fantasy and adding a weapon like AJ Brown does boost his potential upside.  Just a sexy above average team!

Ogre’s Death Squad

Draft day grade C+ The Grade should have been higher on draft day.  Keeper in the 4th QB Josh Allen who seems to put up big points every week and I think has been the #1 Fantasy QB each of the last 2 years.  Derrick Henry with his first round selection seems nerve-racking to rely on after last year.  However, it was just a foot injury and he was back by years end.  A dominant fantasy RB1 to pair with Josh Allen!  His top 3 WRs are very good and consistent fantasy contributors.  I don’t believe any of them go out and win you a week on their own but that’s Josh Allen and Derrick Henry’s role on this team.  I’m not impressed with Kareem Hunt as his RB2 but he has been a serviceable RB2 and should continue to be.  TE Freiermuth had a nice rookie season and could be even better this year if the Steelers have decent QB play.  

Auction Keeper Format

 In order to switch formats and not lose what people have planned, here is my proposal to switch to a auction while allowing keepers from the previous year and into infinity and beyond.

I went to Yahoo's draft suggestions and averaged the players salaries into groups of 14. These salaries would be what you would pay for a player using our old keeper rules for this year only.  Keepers using our previous rules and keeper values sent by the commish. You may still only keep one player.  Players kept from 2021 to 2022 roster are ineligible to kept in 2023.

Based on a $200 cap

1. $62

2. $38

3. $28

4. $21

5. $13

6. $10

7. $9

8. $6

Going forward after the auction draft; you would be able to keep as many players as you wanted while paying a 10% kicker to that player's salary.  Under this format your team can be managed your way.  Do you want two studs this year and next at 70% of your total cap?  Go nuts.  Do you want to have two or three future bets on some young guys? Go nuts?  Does your team suck and you want to scrap it? Go nuts. 

Free Agents can't be kept any value, to keep a 2022 player in 2023 you must buy their services on draft day or trade for a drafted player.  

This allows teams to plan ahead and build for two or three years into the future or if a team wants to blow it up there aren't behind the 8 ball because they will have more available budget come draft time.  I think it is the best of both worlds.  

To prevent somebody finding somebody for $1 who turns into an amazing guy that they can keep forever for dirt cheap, the minimum keeper price is $10 for a maximum of 3 additional years. 

Sunday Night Heat April 7th, 2002 (First heat post brand split)

 

    After the brand split, we've got a whole new Heat.  It's taped before RAW instead of Smackdown and our announcers are Johnathan "Coach" Coachman and Ra "Raven" ven.

    Really surprised to see Scott Hall walk out here for a Heat match.  The nWo has fallen real fast in 6 weeks from their debut.  Even more surprised that Hall is battling Crash Holly of all people.  Raven says the show is going to be mundane but he will make it better with his commentary.  Way to get me invested, Johnny Polo.  Scott Hall played the hits, fall away slam, abdominal stretch, second rope fall away slam, Razor's Edge.  1-2-3.  Crowd popped for Hall calling for the Razor's Edge because they are smart.  

    Jerry Lawler is backstage interviewing Jazz, about her title defense tonight against Jackie.  Jazz says Jackie has no chance because she is a skank.  Jackie steps into screen to ask, "Who are you calling a skank, skank?" Jazz seems surprised by her appearance even though she was clearly only a few feet away when the interview began.  Jazz informs Jackie that is was indeed, Jackie herself that Jazz was calling a skank and that she should know that because she does not stutter.  Jazz thumps the belt of off Jackie's head and the brawl is on.

    Here comes Tommy Dreamer, who has won all of two televised matches in his WWF career to this point.  He has defeated Tajiri and Kai En Tai during September on this here very Sunday Night Heat.  Someone needs to sit Tommy Dreamer down and ask him why Japanese people really fire him up.  Tommy has some soul searching to do.  His opponent, Sean Stasiak, not Japanese so my money is on Staskiak.  This is both of their first matches on TV since the Invasion.  It's the movable object vs resistible force.    Coach and Raven are giving this match all of the respect it deserves, by talking about Eddie Guerrero attacking RVD and Undertaker being named the #1 contender by Flair until it was changed to Hogan by Vince on Smackdown.  All things I would rather be thinking about too.  Raven finally talks about the match in that Tommy Dreamer is tough from all of their battles in ECW.  Coach adds that Stasiak isn't the most intelligent but this abdominal stretch is effective.  Dreamer sells a right side injury, but continues to bring the attack to Stasiak to the silence of the crowd.  Dreamer's ribs give out on a maneuver and Stasiak capitalizing for the victory. 

    We get a recap of Flair and Vince trying to talk Austin into signing with their shows, which led to Austin signing with Raw and stunning both Vince and Flair.  

    We've got our Women's Title match on deck, sponsored Castrol GTX and Nissan.  Coach and Raven mention that the Forcible Entry compact disc has debuted at #3.  #1 you ask?

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYDE0MeAOAk&list=PLqf3vdDTch5eM9SWPvNXKag22XOW6x8En

This banger of a 2002 time capsule.  Jaxz attempts to take a powder but Jackie brings her back to the ring where a distracted ref misses a pin by Jackie, which Jazz turns into a tights aided rollup to retain the title.  

    Now it's time for our Tough Enough season 2 recap.  Matt Morgan has to bow out of the compeition beause of knee injury.  The rest of the cast head to see a live WWF event and then cut their own promos which are all generic and bad.  

Be sure to order WWF Backlash to see Triple H defend against Hulk Hogan.

It's main event time.  Big Show vs Goldust.  Raven mentions that last year at Backlash he had this banger.

Big Show tosses Goldust into the ring post but Show gets caught coming in the ring.  Coach speculates what kind of mood, Steve Austin will be in tomorrow night on Raw.  I'm going to take a guess and say fun and fancy free.  Goldust has taken show down to his knee with sleeper hold.  Raven mentions that he is member of MENSA for the fourth time tonight.  Big Show powers out, chucks around Goldust and then holds Goldust in the air during the finishing chokeslam for an impressive amount of time.  

Year in Review: 2021

                                                                         

 Before I get into this yearly report if I could be indulged for a moment.  Please watch this video.   This takes time and things have been shitty at work so shove it up your butts.  

The league began on a beautiful Saturday in Big E's backyard and it ended with stuff shoved up my backyard with the unluckiest season in league history.  Speaking of the draft let's take a look back at that faithful day. 

The best first round pick was the last one, Johnathan Taylor has led SMBR to a first round bye. 

Honorable Mention: Austin Eckler

 The worst first round pick was Patrick Mahomes based on a points per game relative to his position.  Outhouse Mahomes while 5th in the league for QB scoring is only 5 points a game more than Teddy Two Gloves which is not what you are aiming for when you dislocate your shoulder reaching in the first round. While first round picks McCaffery and Henry missed a large portion of the year, they produced while healthy.  Heck Henry is still the 9th highest scoring running back in fantasy.  

Honorable Mention: Saquon Barkley who finished in scoring this season between Devin Singletary and Mike Davis.  

Record Book

High Score BNE 180.75 Week 5

Low EBD 44.37 Week 10

Points from drafted players: Most SMBR 1536.23 (94.7% of total) 

Least BL 767.38 (53.9% of total)

Most TD in a week RM 12 Week 2 

Least TD in a week, once each for HC/BCC

Most this season RM 84 Least $$$ 48

Most rushing yards per game: SMBR 265.71

Least rushing yards per game: BCC 92.07

Most receiving yards per game TC 332.71 Least LZ 212.28

FG: Season BL 32     RM least 16

Biggest Blowout RM beat $ by 99.47 in Week 2.  

Closest game: BL over TC by .04

Final Rankings 

1. TC 120-62

2. SMBR 116-66

3. CB 113-69

4. HC 109-73

5. BG 109-73

6. BNE 104-78

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7. BCC 92-90

8. LZ 88-94

9. BL 82-100

10. IS 82-100

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11. TS 77-105

12. ODS 71-111

13. EBD 67-115

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14. $$$ 49-133

The unluckiest based on this metric was HC being 5 spaces behind their spot in the standings. Although BCC had his playoff spot in his final season stolen by the Lone Wolves as well.  Bricklayers was also very unlucky but so unlucky to cost him a playoff spot.

The luckiest was TS gaining 4 spots and a playoff berth in the standings. The Shoes also is undeserving of their playoff spot based on this metric. 

Wins against the mean. This metric takes into account Pure schedule luck.  How many weeks did you score in the top 7.

1. TC/RM 10

3. HC/BG 9

5. SMBR/BNE/BCC/LZ 8 (LZ didn't deserve his playoff spot here on point total but at least it is defensible) 

9.  BL/IS/TS 6-8  (TS is one of the luckiest playoff teams in the history of the league by both metrics)

12. ODS/EBD 4

14. $$$ 2

Although it didn't affect his spot in the standings, Dollars should have clinched the toilet bowl several weeks ago.  

                                                                            

Tinker Stinkers stole my spot. By every mathematical measure. His tiny hands have grabbed what his team did not deserve.  This will haunt me until next season.  Please destroy him, Steve.  

Sergio won league pick em with a record of 57-41; edging out the Erics by 1.  Jason was last with a record of 44-54.  Pick the playoff games here

Math website playoff first round predictions, I can't do beyond that because Yahoo lists me as a playoff team which fucking sucks.  I can't wait for all of the notifications to set my roster. Fucking stupid.

BNE 47% vs RM 52.43%

BG 64.68 vs LZ 35.53

TC 69.1 vs 30.9

Since it calculated it SMBR 52.37 vs HC 46.73

My hopes for the playoffs.

HTPB Week 20.13

 

Week 13 has been the end of the season for decades here in HTPB and it still was for Big Cat Crushers and Eh Bid Dude as they were eliminated from playoff contention.  It's starting to settle out as the last week of the regular season is upon us.  

SMBR established themselves as the team to beat in HTPB this year as he ended the season and career of Big Cat Crushers.  The fifth highest score of the week was not enough for Big Cat as the twenty year run of bad luck continued.  In frightening news for HTPB, Lamar Jackson has been kind of shitty for a month and in 4 out of the last 5 weeks, he's broken 130 points with a low score of 109 or as Dollars would call it a monster week.  SMBR just needs to beat Dollars to clinch the first round bye, so allow me to be the first to congratulate SMBR on the first round bye.  

"Big Cat still had a good week."

-Cory

Eh Bid Dude welcomed a child into the world this week and was beaten by one.  EBD season was put to rest this week barring a miracle of epic proportions.  EBD was able to make it close due to his kicker and defense combining for 30 which EBD has said this season means your team is shitty. BG didn't listen to a wise sage who said Minshew Mania was a better option than Teddy Two Gloves and narrowly survived his ignorance.  BG is one of two teams that can have the first round bye.  Eh Bid Dude did clinch the highest place of his AOE Human Centipede buddies.  Live look at the playoff race for AOE this year.  Enjoy the sidelines fellas.

                                                            (photoshop credit: Nick Webb)

                                                            (hilarious idea credit: me like fucking always) 

In a matchup of the two lowest scores of the week (weak), Italian Stallions defeated Tinker Stinkers, 91-64.  While this game made eyes bleed it did save Italian Stallions from the Toilet Bowl and put Tinker Stinkers on the brink of elimination.  David Montgomery and Chris Godwin were the only people not to suck in this game.  So many people sucked, both quarterbacks sucked, AJ Green and Kendrick Bourne sucked, Jason and Dom sucked.  

ODS kept his slim playoff hopes alive (literally 0.13%) as he defeated BL.  Bricklayers finally got the game from Javonte Williams that he traded Cooper Kupp for, as Williams scored 26 of Bricklayers' 92 points. (Kupp has pedestrian 20.45)  Bricklayers is one of two teams that can still get toiletries as he tries to complete the toilet, champion, toilet sandwich.  

The closest game of the week saw Rush'n Missiles finally get into the playoffs for the first time in career as he edged out The Collegians.  Without his four Packers, RM still managed to pack TC's shit.  The Collegians were unfairly put behind the 8 ball with their players not scoring every touchdown that occurred in the NFL. Both of these two teams are locked into the playoffs and can't get the bye.  Taysom Hill played the shittiest 22 point game of all time.  

It seemed like earlier in the week that Dollars would be getting Kamara, Brown, and Cooper back. Nope. The Shoes took advantage of playing Dollars, a secured the victory which puts him at the precipice of a playoff berth.  Led by his defense and Sony Michel being the lead back for a week, Los Zapatistas scored 130 points to get the win.  Dollars hopes to finally get healthy the final week as he looks to keep SMBR out of the number one seed but will try to do so without Antonio Brown who has been suspended for brain damage. 

Hardcore Cabinet kept his playoff hopes alive but lost two more players to injury. BNE clinched a playoff spot with the loss. Justin Herbert lost the duel to a returning Kyler Murray and set up Hardcore Cabinet to control their own destiny.  BNE thought Gallup would be the X-Factor but it turns out the X-Factor was Urban Meyer hating James Robinson and not giving him any carries until the game was over.  Hardcore Cabinet lives to fight another day in a defacto playoff game vs the Shoes. 

Power Rankings (which team is the best)

1. SMBR 116-53

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2. BG 108-61

3. TC 107-62

4. HC 104-65

5. CB 101-68

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6. BNE 91-76

7. BCC 88-81

----------------------------

8. LZ 81-88

9. BL 72-97

10. TS 69-100

11. IS 68-101

12. ODS 65-104

13. EBD 65-104

------------------

14. $$ 46-123

Tied for unluckiest are HC/BCC/BL who each are 4 spots below where they are projected, and ODS is now the luckiest being 3 spots higher.

Record against the mean which is based purely on schedule.  Basically the bad beat meter and which teams got screwed out of the playoffs. Tie breakers by total points

9-4 HC, BG, TC, CB, 

8-5 SMBR, BCC, 

7-6 BNE, LZ

5-8 BL, IS, TS

4-9 ODS, EBD

2-11 $$$

This analysis shows that BCC in his final season has been screwed as he is one of the 7 best teams by either metric.  TS and ODS should be thanking their lucky stars to be alive in the last week of the season and if either of them makes the playoffs it won't be deserved and will be stealing Big Cat's valor. 

Weekly pick em.  HC went 6-1 (will be updated once yahoo does the math) next week can be done at this link.

Final week projections:  Yahoo projects Tinker Stinkers will miss the playoffs, SMBR gets the bye, and $$$ gets the Toilet.

The site that simulates the rest of the season 10,000 times projections these playoff percentages.

Bye SMBR 90.05%  BG 9.95%

Toilet $$$ 90.78%   BL 9.23%

Playoffs

Tinker Stinkers 70.05%

Los Zapitistas 66.62%

Hardcore Cabinet 63.21%

ODS 0.13%

Next Week's Schedule

Games that can affect who makes the playoffs

HC vs LZ (Biggest game of the season) 

TS vs BL

ODS vs IS

Bye and Toilet Games

BG vs RM

SMBR vs $$$

Seeding 

BNE vs TC

For Pride

BCC vs EBD

Good luck to everyone but Sergio!!!

HTPB Week 20.12

 

Week 11 allowed a light to be lit for the playoff picture with 3 teams clinching their spots. 3 teams are logistically eliminated based on two week 14 games between 6-6 and 5-7 teams, with the 5-7 having significantly more points than their 6-6 opponents. (ODS is not impossibly eliminated but with two teams in front of him guaranteed to get wins it is all but likely.) The Toilet Bowl Trophy can still be won by 6 teams as well.  

SMBR dealt body blow to HC playoff chances, handing them their 4th defeat by 3 points or less this season.  Lamar Jackson tried to give HC and the Browns, victories but neither team would take the gift.  Good games from every other spot on the roster led to reach the second highest score in the league, for HC, third highest doesn't mean anything without a victory.  SMBR clinches a playoff spot an ensuring there will not be back to back toilet seasons.  

Tinker Stinkers failed to cross 85 points for the second week in a row and is vulnerable of missing the playoffs if they can't pull the nose up.  ODS led by Josh Allen and really nothing much else, was able to use his Turkey Day lead to really stuff it to Tinker Stinkers.  ODS still has an outside shot at the playoffs if they win out. Like a 15 year old under the bed sheets, TS has appeared to have used his Chubb all up.    Both teams finish out the season against Italian Stallions and Bricklayers, so the race for the Toilet Bowl could also play big time spoiler.  

Speaking of Italian Stallions and Bricklayers, IS made the toilet bowl race interesting with a fractional point victory over BL.  If Bricklayers had listened to his daughter and released Cam, he would still be alive with an outside shot at the playoffs.  Odell Beckham rewarded IS patience with a long touchdown and Odell leads the league in offenses ruined this year having chalked up, the Browns, the Rams, and the Italian Stallions.  With Dalvin Cook out for the rest of the fantasy season, IS will have to really fight to not extended his record of number of seasons with the worst record. 

Rush'n Missiles continues to try to forge their way into the playoffs for the first time ever and all it will take is one more victory.  But those could be hard to come by with a tough remaining schedule and tons of byes from his beloved Packers this week.  RM was led by "Four"nette BNE continues to live and die with Herbert and his 21 points weren't enough to pull the rest of his team up to victory.  BNE could drop out of the playoffs as well, with hard schedule and the loss of Waller.  Will Mattison taking the reins in Minnesota to be enough to find the one win he needs? 

Big Cat Crushers has last number 1 overall pick for the season, his own son nearly doubled him up in revenger for BCC picking against him earlier in the year. Joe Mixon continues to dominate for TC and the lesbian keeps tossing touchdowns for both teams.  TC could be headed for a first round bye but they will definitely be in the playoffs.  

"Big Cat had a terrible week" 

-Corey Bourquin

Eh Bid Dude managed to win for the second straight week without breaking 86 points.  Luckily for EBD the teams, he managed to squeak out victories against were ahead of him the standings and he is still alive for the playoffs despite the second lowest point total in the league.  EBD has managed this with the rapid demise of Russell Wilson.  The Shoes control their own destiny for the playoffs but will have to battle two teams that may be finally getting healthy after a rough month in HC and $$$.

Blue Gatorade and Dollars didn't say shit this week because everyone knew the outcome before it started.  $$$ will be getting some pieces back this week and hopes to avoid a Toilet Trophy.  He isn't going to win any tie breaks so it doesn't look good for Dollars but listen here, Jesse.  It helps me greatly if you beat Sergio this week.  

In weekly pick'em 6 teams went 5-2 and 3 teams went 3-4.  weekly picks can be made here

Power Rankings

1. SMBR 103-53

2. BG 100-56

3. TC 100-56

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4. HC 93- 63

5. CB 91-65

6. BNE 87-659

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7. BCC 79-77

8. BL 70-86

9. LZ 69-87

10. TS 69-87

11. 67-89

12. ODS 61-95

13. EBD 60-98

--------------------------

14. $$$$ 43-113

Tinker Stinkers is finally not the luckiest team in the league as that is now EBD.  But don't worry Tinker Stinkers you are most likely to be the luckiest team in the playoffs. HC is the unluckiest team.

Number of weeks in Top 7 scoring with total points as tie breaker

8 wins HC, BG, TC, CB

7 wins SMBR, BNE, BCC

6 wins LZ

5 wins TS, BL, IS

4 wins ODS, EBD

2 wins $$

Week 13 preview

With the playoffs rapidly upon us every game is a game of the week.  So much on the line.  Playoffs possibilities for every game.  Get hype.  All that is but ODS vs BL.  That shit is for avoiding a toilet bowl. 

Good luck!