Tuesday, October 10, 2023

HTPB 22.5



Week 5 saw the return of fantasy studs to active rosters (Taylor, Kupp), the return of disappointing players to premiere performance, (Burrow, Chance), the return of Sergio slurping Jason like he had anything to do with any of his success.  Now if we can get Cory back to the bottom 7, everything will be normal again.

                                                                            (Fields on Fire)



Jeremy' Brother has somehow continues to score more after losing Chubb and Henry than he was before.  Led by Justin Fields' amazing Thursday night, JB managed to hand Bay-Bay's a convincing defeat.  We are unaware if Dan was able to watch Fields go crazy on TNF because we don't know if Canada has Amazon Prime or Thursdays for that matter.  Little is known about this strange land. Luckily Jeremy was able to tell Jason how handle the situation



Joe Burrow came back from the dead to partner with DJ Moore to give Big Nasty Express the Big Nasty Win.  Blue Gatorade traded the #1 pick in the draft and his life partner of the last several years for a receiver catches passes from a QB that looks and throws like Bart and running back who plays mostly in England apparently.  It didn't matter this week as both Jefferson and Max listening to his roommates and their girlfriends pulled their hammies.  I'm trying to transition back into this matchup but after that hammie joke, I think it's best for all involved if I just move on.


After a whole year of denying being smug the Bricklayers in fact proved they were smug based on their own logic.  The Bricklayers told the sideline reporter that they were not looking forward to the Collegians smug comments.  Later he said that it takes a smug person to know a smug a person.  So by the transitive principle, Bricklayers was admitting that he himself is smug, if he was able to know that the Collegians would be smug.  This is now proven.  Science law. Ipso Facto Smuggo Sluggo.  Nice win, Steve. Lots of solid performances all around. 



In the anticipated Eh Bid Dude vs Los Zapatistas matchup, several players went down with injuries.  This game saw the injuries or all already injured: James Conner, Tank Dell, Roy's pride, Amon Ra St. Brown, De-von Achane, Aaron Jones, and Justin Jefferson.  There were so many injuries on Los Zapatistas that De-Von Archane had to get his own medical exam table because the blue tent was full. The Shoes were able to tap dance into first place with the win, and Eh Bid Dude plummeted down in the standings all the way to 2nd.  But luckily like most weeks that his team doesn't do well, Roy was fortunate enough to not be paying attention this week. 


Rushin Missiles has bucked several years of tradition to win three games in a row, although a majority of them could have been family related pity.  SMBR left an inactive player in his lineup for the second time this season.  It would not have mattered because RM go crazy in England and he leads the league in starting the right players with an over 91.6% hit rate. He's broken 100 four straight weeks.


Dollars rocketed out of the cellar with huge 182 point performance.  Jamar Chase and George Kittle had three TD's apiece.  It was raining touchdown's on the StallionsJust one week after Dom pulled the last place point explosion, he fails to break 100, losing again and slips right back into dead fucking last.  Don't worry Dom has time share there, he knows his way around.  The 85 point beat down was the biggest of the season. Dollars used his week explosion to jump to the head of the losing records just one game out of the playoffs. 


Ogre's Death Squad and Hardcore Cabinet combined for less points that Dollars himself this week.  Hardcore gets the win despite outscoring only 4 franchises this week.  Cooper Kupp returned as Hardcore Cabinet looks to save his season, and ODS looks to have two QB with red letter designations and tries to piece together a roster to help turn it around.  Hunter Henry and DeVonta Smith combined for 1 catch and 6 yards.  


1. RM 44-21
2. LZ 43-22
3. EBD 41-24
4. BL 39-26


5. TC 36-29
6. JB 35-30
7. BB 35-30
8. BNE 34-31


9.$$ 29-36
10. ODS 26-39
11. HC 25-40
12. IS 23-42
13. SMBR 23-42
14. BG 22-43


Ogre's Death Squad has been the most unlucky, being cheated out of 3 spots in the standings. There is a logjam of several teams who have been two spots lucky.


10 prognosticators went 4-3 to win the week.
IS, EBD went 3-4
$$ 2-5
BG a lowly 1-6 (You're Welcome for the win)

Week 6 picks can be made here.



In the game of the week
#1 Los Zapatistas battle #5 Jeremy's Brother

HC vs BL
ODS vs $$$
BB vs RM
BG vs EBD
SMBR vs TC

Toilet Bowl Game of the Week

#14 Italian Stallions (for the third straight week) vs #9 Big Nasty Express


Enjoy week 6 everybody.  Please comment on the webpage with something you enjoyed. 






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