Week 8 is in the books and this writeup is dedicated to Dom and Cory and anybody else out there that needs another man to stand up and handle their business for them because they can't.
The 2021 Toilet Bowl Winner Dollars defeated the team with the second most championships and second most wins in the history of the league who has won a championship since Max has been alive. Dollars' rookie Jahmyr Gibbs exploded on Monday to turn this game into a rout, like HC all time wins lead over $$$ (148-120). Both teams will try to turn their 4-4 records into playoff berths, where HC leads Dollars 17-11 in playoff wins, including an undefeated record all time against Dollars in the playoffs. Dollars is probably reading this thinking..."Got Damn! I wasn't in the league at first!" But average place of finish for Dollars and Hardcore is both 5.9. Dollars will also say these stats were cherry picked to make HC look better, to which I retort. So by Dollars own definition, this was a game between two mediocre owners. Although Dollars does lead HC in holes punched in his own walls over Carolina Panthers running backs.
(Picture I stopped to take at the Columbus zoo this summer and saved to use when I hopefully beat Sergio this year but the GOD DAMN BUFFALO DEFENSE SCORED LIKE 50 points! I mean it's Mexican, it's a wolf, and it's
endangered, I mean come on! It's perfect.)
Bricklayers waited a long time to avenge their undefeated season being ruined by The Shoes in the Super Bowl last year. He spent any time he had left over after trying to change the league rules so he could have gotten money for having the best regular season ever and choking, on planning his revenge this week. Bricklayers and his receiving core said, agáchate aquí viene de nuevo! The win catapults, Bricklayers into first place in the standings which if he ends the season there will lead to absolutely no extra money.
Jason falling out of first place.
Jeremy's Brother could not breathe the thin air at the top of the mountain and took the L and tumbled down the standings. He's not used to altitudes above 5 feet. Travis Etienne and Garret Wilson continues to pay dividends for Blue Gatorade in the post Jefferson trade world. Blue Gatorade lost Darren Waller to injury and Jeremy's Brother lost one of it's better players, schedule luck. Both squads are 5-3 despite being below .500 in the power rankings.
This intrepid reporter went through the stat corrections this season and it has only happened for 4 players that were rostered. So RM can probably take their .07 victory to the bank. In week 3 Bay-Bay's lost 4 points on a defense stat correction. It didn't affect anything but that's a lot of points for a stat correction. Josh Allen and Joe Burrow combined for 1/3 of the points in this matchup. RM gets the lucky win and BNE will say he got screwed but when your second leading scorer is your kicker, you
screwed yourself.
Eh Big Dude was gracious in defeat to The Collegians, which has a vastly worse team than EBD. Patrick Mahomes pulled whatever is the opposite of Jordan's flu game, by scoring 4 points. If he would have played better, EBD could have defeated Steve who has maximized his win total with his sub par team. Honestly Steve should have just been glad to be on the field with EBD, so he must be beaming to have the SAME EXACT RECORD. EBD will be spending some with a self help book this week to
prepare for week 9.
The Italian Stallions scored over 140 points again to gain the victory over SMBR and rocket all the way into still last place. The Toilet Bowl trophy has been serenading IS as it calls to him with it's
siren song. IS used big games from CMC and Jalen Huluhaslivesports to serve his Brother in Law a hard luck loss. Dak's 34 points were not enough for SMBR to overcome IS 9 touchdowns. In the BIL round Robin Championship RM takes home the trophy which is known as the Joe's LOGCOCK Championship with a 2-0 record. But if you lose to RM in any sort of fantasy football competition it's time for a long look in the mirror.
A picture of an Ogre and Big E. You see it's a jackass. Very meta.
Ogre's Death Squad continues their march into the abyss. This time the beneficiary of ODS bad team is Bay-Bay's. DeAndre Hopkins rose from the grave like a Halloween zombie to score his first 3 touchdowns of the season and Dan got his usual 40 points from the Dolphin twins. Also I can't believe that I just realized that
Adam Cole's finisher is the Canadian Destroyer. We shall see if Bay-bay's can be the German Destroyer next week with the Dolphins in Germany. Bay-Bay's has started the optimal lineup with 91.7% accuracy, tops in the league.
Power Rankings
1. BL 67-37
2. EBD 66-38
3. LZ 57-47
4. 56-48
5. BB 55-49
6. RM 55-49
7. $$ 51-53
8. 51-53
9. BG 51-53
10. IS 50-54
11. HC 47-57
12. TC 46-58
13. SMBR 42-62
14. ODS 34-70
Analysis: It appears that BL and EBD have risen to the top, ODS is awful and everybody else is some level of average. It's going to get nuts down the stretch. Bay-Bay's and Jeremy's Brother are both 4 spots lucky and BNE has an unofficial record of 7 spots unlucky.
Jason maintains his overall lead.
This week has only one game matching up current playoff squads and one game matching up current also rans.
The Game of the Week
#5 Blue Gatorade vs #2 Bay-Bay's
ODS vs BL
BNE vs EBD
$$ vs TC
IS vs LZ
JB vs RM
Toilet Bowl Game of the Week
#9 Hardcore Cabinet vs #12 Stabmyballzrepeatedly
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