2025 Dollars Playoff Predictions

 

Dollars Playoff Picks 2025

ODS

After being a playoff pick last year then missing the playoffs here we are again. I guess I just like the way ODS drafts. Gibbs and Achane a pair of high upside PPR RBs is my favorite start among everyone’s draft! JSN, Sutton, Meyers, Pearsall and Jayden Higgins are a nice mix of WRs that give him a nice floor with chance for some upside. Njoku in the 7th is another pick I like especially with Flacco starting. Another year of waiting on QB ODS takes Fields in the 9th and pairs him with Goff in the 13th. Both have been productive fantasy QBs. Playing matchups can be tricky, should be fun watching Ogre shoot himself in the foot a couple times this season.

Bricklayers

Here is my other failed playoff pick from last season. Not only missed the playoffs but decided to go ahead and take home the toilet bowl as well. With the 13th pick in the first round Brick started his 2025 redeem team build with Brian Thomas jr. Chase Brown in the 2nd one of my favorite picks of the draft. TreVeyon Henderson in the 3rd, volume is a question but the talent is not. Filled out his WRs in rounds 4-7 Mike Evans, Calvin Ridley, Debo and Addison. Late round QB strategy landed him Drake Maye in the 9th and Trevor Lawrence in the 12th which gives him a pair of stacks to choose from. Excellent value on TE Tucker Kraft in the 10th round.

The Collegians

The champ is here! TC has cemented himself in the upper echelon of the league. A perennial contender and looking at this draft I see another competitive year. Nico, AJ Brown and Davante Adams Drafted in the first four rounds. This looks like the best WR trio coming out of the draft and a solid starting point for this build. He got good value on Kennith Walker in the 3rd and Tony Pollard in the 5th. Walker has been incredible when not injured and Pollard should have plenty of Volume on an improved Titans team. Think he went a round early on both Bo Nix in the 6th and Evan Engram in the 7th. Gotta get your guys and this gives him his stack. The stack he had last year carried him to the championship.

Hardcore Cabinet

A playoff pick one other time that I can remember. More often than not I don’t care for HC’s draft. Yet he continues to prove me wrong time and again. Stating this draft with Aston Jeanty then selecting James Cook in the 3rd. A very nice 1-2 punch at RB and I also like the Bill Croskey pick because I want a piece of that offense. Looking at this group of WRs Tee Higgins and DK Metcalf are a strong start! Jerry Jeudy may pay off his 5th round cost with the amount of targets he should get. Really like the Rome Odunzae upside pick in the 6th and great value in the 8th with Khalil Shakir. Kyler Murray and Jordan Love are two of my favorite late round QBs going into this year.

Italian Stallions

Coming off a successful season Dom is back putting together another impressive draft. Was able to land Jonathan Taylor in the second round. A talented workhorse RB really makes this build work. At WR Ceedee, Marvin Harrison, Jamison Williams, DeVonte Smith and Travis Hunter. Any game any one of these guys could pop off for 20+ and no one would be surprised. Waited on QB but went early enough to complete the Dak - Ceedee stack. Just another way this team can bury you! Lacking in RB depth and having Kyle Pitts as your TE are mild concerns.

Big Nasty Express

The last spot was just claimed by BNE post Brock Purdy trade. I now have BNE edging out Los Zapatista for the final playoff spot. Was this spot part of the trade? Though these spots are extremely coveted I can assure you I would have at least gotten a better deal if that were the case. During draft day grades I voiced concern over Tyreek Hill. I don’t think he will return to 2023 form but should be better than last year. I am on board with this group of talented young WRs Tetairoa McMillian, Xavier Worthy, Matthew Golden and Rashid Shaheed! Arguments can be made for both Bijan and Trey McBride to finish #1 at their respective positions. I even like the shots he took on Dalton Kincaid (post hype sleeper) and Caleb Williams. With Brock Purdy stabilizing this team at the QB position

Good luck to everyone this season. Honestly didn’t think there was a draft that looked terrible and it is anyone’s year. You guys are all savvy GMs and I love the competition and banter between everyone.

HTPB 23.12

                                                      

The league is packed tightly for the final playoff spots but not at the top or the bottom.  

                                                      Eh Big Dude defeats Hardcore Cabinet

An anthropomorphic tree and a man clutching a trophy ride a roller coaster together.

It was a wild roller coaster of a game with two first round picks leaving with injuries, an offer to bench players for a $50 bet (should have taken that shit), a fourth TD Monday night game, and a partridge in a pear tree. The tight end position which has been a wasteland this season was not in this matchup as 57 points were scored by the position, which would have been enough to beat three teams this season. (BNE, BG, and BL).  Yahoo says that neither of these teams have clinched the playoffs but for them not to, they would have to not set lineups and multiple teams score 180 points from the 7-6 bundle.  So they are in.  

I had Nick make this for me after Roy's Njoku hate.  It doesn't hit as dickishly with the loss but I had to be prepared and still wanted to share it's ridiculousness.  

Rush 'N Missiles defeat Big Nasty Express

A get back coach with a giant wad of tobacco in his mouth ejects a red bearded man from a basketball game.

Rush 'n Missiles was able to sneak ahead by a tenth of a point to get the victory and for the 22nd straight year, eliminate BNE from winning a Super Bowl for a team that he drafted.  The Broncos took a delay of game penalty trying to get the Browns to jump offside before Lutz kicked it through the uprights.  Those extra 0.5 points on the kick were the difference.  The Will Dissly goose egg looms as large for BNE as what Dissly gave two weeks ago, he taketh this week.  RM is currently in the 7th and final playoff spot but only holds a 7 point lead over ODS so RM can still win next week and miss the playoffs. 

Los Zapatistas defeat Bricklayers

The most unlucky man in the world gets run down by a pack of wolves in sombreros.  

The Shoes got the win but things have not been well overall for Los Zapatitstas as they haven't gotten a victory against someone who isn't BG and BL since Oct 21st.  Can they beat a team with a pulse in a important seeding matchup with Dollars? It doesn't really matter because LZ has clinched a playoff berth despite what Yahoo says.   Bricklayers continues to lose and continues to not understand the concept of bad luck in fantasy football.  The lack of good luck does not mean bad luck.  There can be the lack of presence of any luck at all.  Bricklayers complained of getting many defensive touchdowns score on them, but if you take away a touchdown of any kind from every team on his schedule, he would have one additional win. The guy gets his QB to throw a TD pass to himself which would definitely be considered lucky.  So if you gave him both a bonus extra QB TD to himself instead of another human being each week on top of removing a TD from his opponent, Bricklayers would be 4-9 and one of those wins would be by less than a point.  If you put a a bag of cash floating 12 feet above your head and you can't jump up to grab it, it doesn't make you unluckier if you float the bag of cash 20 feet above your head.  You still ain't grabbing that shit.  

Tinker Stinkers defeat the Collegians

A short chef cooks a college graduate in a smoker.

Tinker Stinkers slipped a late night Chubb to the The Collegians and they didn't like it.  The Collegians kept trying to slip a white flag to Tinker Stinkers who repeatedly refused it.   Tinker Stinkers may be peaking at the right time as they scored their high water mark for the season, normally Jason can't touch outside the kiddie pool.  It may be too little too late as TS will need to defeat RM by 80 points to even have a chance to make the playoffs.  Even if that occurs he would have to outscore ODS by 75 in an ODS loss and get a SMBR loss and not get outscored by 35.  So in other words: unlikely.  In fact skynet gives it a 0% likelihood.  The Collegians can't be too confident in their playoff spot as they are in with a win over BNE but with a loss and and wins by RM and ODS, he can miss out if both score more than 60 points than him.  

Italian Stallions defeat Dollars

A Stallion eats from a feed bag filled with Dollars.

The season of dreams continues for the Loins as they have clinched the first round by in the playoffs.  The 151 points scored by IS this week is somehow only their 4th highest total of the season.  The next 2 weeks the Loins will just be trying to stay healthy as they will not play a meaningful game for the next fortnight.  Dollars however will be fighting for his life next week as he can clinch a playoff spot with a win, but with a loss can miss the post season with wins by ODS and RM and they outscore him in the upper 40's.  Not a likely combination but more likely than the 0% skynet gives it.  

Stabmybalzrepeatedly defeats Blue Gatorade

A Magic the Gathering player continues his streak while ending that of a Blue Gatorade.

Blue Gatorade remembered he was awful and scored a whopping 77 points this week to allow SMBR to continue their league high 4 game winning streak.  Only Drake Maye broke double digits and if Drake Maye doubles your next highest score, that is not a recipe for success.    Blue Gatorade's season really ended with the Bricklayers win two weeks ago as they have been playing out the string with nothing on the line now.  SMBR can still make the playoffs in the following scenario: He must defeat EBD and ODS and RM must lose.  There is no other way.  Skynet says this has a 2% chance of happening.

Ogre's Death Squad defeats Bay-Bay's 

Shrek stands victorious over a bloody member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police

Bay-Bay's rode a 30 point effort right into his usual position, losing.  Kyle Pitts was the pits with a zero point game.   While BB is eliminated from playoff contention (losing 8 of 9 will do that).  Ogre's Death Squad is trying to sneak into the playoffs.  Skynet says he has a 51% chance to make that happen. He lost Mason and Hill for the rest of the fantasy season, can he continue to ride Jayden Daniels a get a promotion to playoff team.  This is a promotion that Dom has already earned and he did it without brown nosing.  That's what Dom and Jerry Harris said at least.  

1. EBD 124-45

2. LZ 123-46

3. IS 120-49

4. HC 118-51

We have a new number 1 by the slimmest of margins.  This four continue to be the cream of the crop in HTPB this season but how what has happened when the cream met each other?

HC is 3-1 (loss to EBD)

IS is 2-2 (both wins vs EBD)

EBD 2-2 (see above)

LZ 1-2 (beat IS)

All of the matchups were high scoring bomb fests.  The champ comes from this group.

5. $$ 89-80

6. TC 86-83

While the big 4 suck up all of the oxygen in the room, this group has been solid.

7. RM 82-87

8. ODS 77-92

9.TS 76-93

Below .500 but alive for the playoffs, nobody will be screwed out of the playoffs as no team with a winning record in the power rankings will be left home from the playoffs.

10. BB 72-97

11. BNE 71-98

12. SMBR 62-107

These are bad teams but schedule luck has given SMBR a hail mary chance at making the playoffs.

13. BL 46-123

14. BG 37-132

These teams are not unlucky just terrible.  

Games with both teams playoff lives on the line

#7 Rush 'n Missiles vs #10 Tinker Stinkers

Seeding vs  playoff lives

#3 Los Zapatistas vs #6 Dollars

#4 Eh Big Dude vs #9 SMBR

Playoff lives vs nothing

#11 Big Nasty Express vs #5 The Collegians

#8 Ogre's Death Squad vs #14 Bricklayers

Seeding vs nothing

#2 Hardcore Cabinet vs #13 Blue Gatorade 

Not fucking reason at all, just for shits and giggles

#1 Italian Stallions vs #12 Bay-Bay's

What will happen?  Who will join the Big 4 in the playoffs, when will IS drop the toilet trophy off at BL?  

 

HTPB 23.11

 

With Thanksgiving approaching, the members of HTPB took some time to give thanks.  So here they are.  

It's the big leagues. No flake ass shit. CTC/DOSP being it's own institution, the draft. Great times.

The 14 members & Big Cat

That I can get a response from owners for just posting something. Good or bad, it’s always good for me. Business is good. Go Dudes! Btw I’m not just going to give a boring unoriginal response. lol

That the league exists

How close it keeps us all.

Taysom Hill

Thankful for the good times and that HTPB gets us together

The longevity of the league

Torn ACL's and all around injuries

Kickers and Ruth Ferrell

This league is my socialization outlet. Two parties a year, a reason to gather. It is a creative outlet for my writing. An opportunity to make people laugh.

The absurd defense rules we have in the league this year that allowed me to beat Bricklayers last week and avoid the toiletries fingers crossed

Bigs and Ferrell's Energy and time and hard work

Getting to talk shit and have fun with all of you fellas!

I am thankful that Kevin and Big E are dicks, but really I am thankful for this league as it has been the tie that binds.  It's what keeps us talking, keeps us together.  

Bay-Bay's defeat Bricklayers

A mountie presents a man with a tiny head with a golden toilet. 

Bay-bay's snapped their 7 game losing streak by defeating Bricklayers.  Bricklayers has clinched the toilet trophy.   Please store it properly and not in a damp garage.  Keep in in your closet next to your leather bracelets and pencil ties but don't be dickhead and damage it.   I think maybe that toilet bowls could be used as tie breaker to determine who is the best when teams are tied for most championships. Bay-Bay's may be rubbing fine Canadians syrup on himself in celebration right now but that doesn't change the fact that the franchise has never made the playoffs and hasn't played a meaningful game past Thanksgiving.  The team is always monitoring players during the season and their health status, but apparently fails to do this level of research for the draft.  Insert dodgeball strategy meme.  

Blue Gatorade defeats the Collegians

A man is hoist on his own petard

The Collegians whose record is much better than it should be based on all numbers still decided to spit in the face of the fantasy gods and call his shot this week.  Without Burrow and Chase, the Collegians are nothing much, and fell to Blue Gatorade who scored the most points they have all season and have beaten Collegians twice this season.  I have filed to petition to the commissioner to ban Collegians from the post season, as losing to BG twice should be grounds for termination.  Can Burrow and Chase put together three straight rounds of great performances to carry Collegians to a title?

Dollars defeats Hardcore Cabinet

George Washington from the Dollar bill steals a trophy.

Dollars cruised to an easy win to avenge last year's Super Bowl and week 1.  Hardcore Cabinet has now lost two in a row to dim their first round bye hopes.  (I don't know how you people live like this.)  Dollars managed to put up 133 points with Kyler Murray not breaking double digits.  Hardcore Cabinet wasted a lot of points last week against ODS and should have saved some for this week.  Dollars still has a shot at the first round bye if he can run the table.  A tall order but possible.  

Italian Stallions defeat Eh Big Dude

Rocky Balboa stands victorious and steals a man's vape.

Saquon Barkley run all over Eh Big Dude to give the Loins the inside track to the first round bye.  Tua and Archane out double dipped Hurts and Brown.  It's been a dark road post week 10 for Eh Big Dude, as they have lost two in a row.  There is a thread the needle scenario where EBD could miss the playoffs.  Italian Stallions have scored over 100 points every single game this year.  Will this be IS crowning achievement with his best team yet?  Or will he be the 2016 Warriors and blow it in the playoffs.  Time will tell.

Stabmybalzrepeatedly defeats Tinker Stinkers 

A dwarf is held captive in a pole barn.

Brandon Allen was signed just before kickoff, but SMBR could have kept Brock Purdy in the lineup and defeated Tinker Stinkers who's playoff chances are now on life support. Josh Jacobs scored 3 TD's to lead the way for SMBR who can keep the league's longest active playoff streak alive if he finishes with 2 wins and a little help. He's barely paying attention and is ahead of four teams.  Time to look in the mirror.  On the bright side, Mahomes has made TS more respectable the second half of the season after finally finding a home after several trades. 

Ogre's Death Squad defeats Big Nasty Express

A feeble Shrek needs to use a walker to get past a red bearded hill person.

Ogre's Death Squad takes the ultimate schedule win with the second lowest points of the week.  Where was this last week?  (Stares in Taysom Hill).  Jayden Daniels scored 20% of the points in the entire matchup.  ODS is firmly in the muddle around the final playoff spot, while BNE will need to win out with impressive point totals to have a shot.  ODS does get to wind up the season with BB and BL which is about as soft of a landing as you can get.  Honestly not making the playoffs would be Big E ing this away.  

Rush 'n Missiles defeats Los Zapatistas

A wounded wolf in a sombrero is about to get hit with a missile strike.

After a 6 game win streak, the Shoes have lost 4 out of 5.    Rush N'  Missiles is currently in the final playoff spot and is projected by Yahoo to keep it.  Can RM hold on or will it slip through his fingers like the final leg of late night rebound based parlay on the West coast.  RM does have an easy schedule the rest of the way with two teams barely clinging to life in BNE and TS.  RM has won every game this year that his opponent hasn't scored more than 103 points and that's been a tall order for those two this season so RM would totally choke if he doesn't make it.  Have I said that both RM and ODS are total choke artists if they both don't take the one remaining spot. You're god damn right I did.  The 40 points scored by RM kicker/defense was enough to combine with a well rounded attack to sweep the leader of the Wolves this season.  Could there be a new alpha of the wolf pack?  Or maybe the head Beta. 

EBD and IS took home the win this week with 5-2 record, while LZ took home a smelly 1-6 record.  He is in last place overall, 6 whole wins behind next to last.  HC holds a one game lead over TC and two over BL.  Since BL only picks the higher projected, Yahoo does know what it's talking about I guess.  

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/10U1yZLxPBRtqUHSNx8yUlUHe2l8aNko6d5y9UO14BRI/edit?usp=sharing

#1 LZ 116-40

#2. EBD 114-42

#3 HC 109-47

#4 IS 107-49

It's been these 4 teams all season, if you didn't know that, you haven't been paying attention.  So Kevin doesn't know this.

#5 $$$ 86-70

Dollars stands alone in the above average leagues

#6 RM 76-80

#7 TC 75-81

Smedium Teams

#8 ODS 69-87

#9 BB 68-88

#10 BNE 66-90

#11 TS 64-92

#12 SMBR 60-96

Still alive if even if braindead on a machine for some

#13 BL 45-111

#14 BG 37-119

BG has tightened this up but they are both legendarily shitty. 

The bye week is IS to lose with 94% probability.  HC 3% $$ 1%

Playoff Odds

100% Club

IS, HC, TC, $$, 

Basically in but chaos could happen

LZ 99%

EBD 95%

Fighting for that last spot

RM 67%

ODS 27%

SMBR 8%

Terri Schiavo

TS 0.52%

BNE 0.17%

Thanks for Playing

BB, BG, BL

Game of the Week

 #1 Italian Stallions vs #3 Dollars 

2 HC vs 6 EBD

8 ODS vs 12 BB

11 BNE vs 7 RM 

13 BG vs 9 SMBR

14 BL vs 5 LZ

4 TC vs 10 TS

Every game still has playoff implications and as of right now so does next week so keep up on those rosters BB, BL, and BG.

HTPB 23.11

 

The big 4 had a rough week overall and the race for the final playoff spot tightened up even more.  Plus we have a clear leader in the race to the bottom.

Big Nasty Express defeats Eh Big Dude

The King of a trailer park surrenders but has his fingers crossed behind his back.

Big Nasty Express kept their glimmer of playoff hopes alive with a come from behind win over EBD.  This whole time we assumed EBD evil plan was from week 10 to until the end of the season, but turns out it may have been just week 10.   Spencer Shrader and Travis Kelce took the afternoon off allowing the Will Dissly and Cody Dicker combo to give EBD a double dicking   EBD has a playoff seed sown up but is going to need to do a bit of work to get the coveted first round bye.  

Ogre's Death Squad defeats Hardcore Cabinet

In the highest scoring matchup of the season, Ogre's Death Squad kept their playoff hopes alive with 3 last minute garbage time TD's by Daniels, St. Brown, and Hill.  The Browns rolled over and died so that Hill could run amok and keep ODS' playoff hopes alive.  There were 13 total TD's in this game or as Blue Gatorade calls that a whole season.  Can this big win propel ODS to a playoff spot or most likely like most ODS seasons, not amount to much of anything.

Dollars defeats Rush N' Missiles

Rush N' Missiles got almost 50 points from the double brownie stack of Winston and Jeudy which had to be a best case scenario and still lost by double digits.  RM was given an opportunity to climb up the playoff ladder by defeating the team directly above him, but instead was chewed up and spat out like a lip full of dip at the scoring table at youth sporting event.  Dollars had a trio players cross the goal line twice and rode them to victory.  Next week Dollars looks to cement their playoff berth and gain revenge against Hardcore Cabinet after failing in back to back games in the Super Bowl and week 1.  

Italian Stallions defeat Tinker Stinkers

A tiny man is upset by an Italian horse eating his smoked meats

Tinker Stinkers blamed their lineup choices with 6 TD's on the bench, but Italian Stallions can only beat who shows up.  Who did show up for Tinker Stinkers, you say?  Ah well Ricky Pearsall who had a big hole in his body and scorecard with a 0.  Also showing up, the old washed Browns backfield.  Were Metcalf and Kevin Mack, Crack attack not available?  The Loins were the only member of the big 4 to get a win this week, but they were unable to get into pole position for the bye.  Tinker Stinkers has been getting better production of late from Mahomes.  Did I include that sentence just because of this video that I found?  Yes.

Stabmybalzrepeatedly defeats Los Zapatistas

A Magic the Gathering style card of a Slayer of Mexican Wolves

Don't look now but Los Zapatistas has lost 3 out of 4 with lone win being over Blue Gatorade which shouldn't even count.  Like Big E in the third inning of a Little League World Series game, has The Shoes climaxed prematurely?  LZ finally did not break the 100 point mark thanks to absolute shit performances from everyone but James Cook and new edition of his candy girl, Justin Herbert.    SMBR still has some faint playoff hopes.

The Collegians defeat Bay-Bay's

Adam Cole dressed as a Mountie getting attacked by a Bengal tiger

Bay-Bay's has now lost 7 in a row after a 3-1 start.  Things have not gone well the past two months for Bay-Bay's shown in his season highlights. Haven't heard any of that AOE drunken recruitment pitches in quite some time.  The Collegians continue to win almost solely on the backs of Joe Burrow and Jamar Chase.  It's hard banking on them for three straight rounds in the playoffs.  Can the Collegians jump ahead in the standings despite being far behind in the power rankings?  Time will tell.  Next week we will see if Collegians jynxed themselves and hoist on his own petard against Blue Gatorade this week.  

Blue Gatorade defeats Bricklayers

A bald teenager pours bricks into a toilet

Blue Gatorade has now put a bit of breathing room between himself and Bricklayers for the toilet trophy.  Bricklayers will have to win at least two games in his final 3 against Bay-Bay's, Los Zapatistas, and Ogre's Death Squad.  Blue Gatorade was aided by Cooper Rush being terrible and the Texans defense scoring a whopping 33 points to get BG $5 so the season hasn't been total wash.  Bricklayers may complain that yet another team had a better than their average week against him, but if you lose to a team that starts Ray-Ray McCloud regularly, it's time for a long look in the mirror. Also I know you aren't a teenager any more Max but AI doesn't really hone in on young man.  

1. LZ 109-34

2. HC 104-39

3. EBD 104-39

LZ has company at the top of the power rankings for the first time this season.

4. IS 94-49

The cheese so nice, stands alone.

5. $$ 74-69

6. TC 72-71

The rest of the playoff teams

7. ODS 67-76

8. RM 65-78

9. BNE 65-78

10. BB 64-79

Teams with playoff hopes and BB's.

11. TS 58-85

12. SMBR 52-91

Their actual records are giving them hope but they have not been good teams this season.

13. BL 45-98

Toiletries in coming

14.  BG 28-115

How the fuck he has lined up those 3 wins in that 28 possible is amazing.  

This week The Collegians took home the honors with an impressive 6-1 week.  Scores were low all around but LZ and RM took home the shit cake with 1-6 record.  TC has moved into a tie with HC atop the standings and LZ brings up the abajo.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/10U1yZLxPBRtqUHSNx8yUlUHe2l8aNko6d5y9UO14BRI/edit?usp=sharing

HTPB regrets

 

It's been over two decades, you gotta be kicking yourself about something.

Whether it's trading Freeman for him or cutting him and watching D-Willy stick it up your butt and in your drywall in the playoffs, Sergio and Dollars ponder where things went wrong with Williams.

Our regrets fall into 6 different buckets.

Post Season Based Lineup Decisions

This had the most with 4, Tyler Huntley, Daniel Jones, CJ Anderson, Jeremy Hill are the illustrious members of this non all star team.

Blew the 2024 draft.

Hi CMC and Justin Jefferson

Why did I cut and trade this guy?

Double D. Willy, and Roy's million trades

Commissioner Curse

The stink of running the league affects the team, but since BNE is STILL terrible a decade later it appears to be a permanent condition so no point in quitting now, Bigs.

No regrets

Apparently marrying SMBR's sisters make you have no regrets. I guess after you willingly make the terrible choice to bring Kevin into your family what could be worse.

Our final bucket are Roy based regrets.  If it's just having to respond to constant trade requests or not having an evil plan that begins in week 10 themselves, Dan and Kevin regret these interactions.  

HTPB 23.10

                                                       

Week 10 in HTPB is here so everybody pack it in. EBD has won the championship.  Also trade him players that you have that aren't good for players that he has that are amazing.  If you don't take this trade, immediately his opinion on both players changes.  Try to keep up, bozos.

Also all of HTPB thanks Jesse for his service, while all of HTPB except Sergio thanks Dan for his service.  We didn't thank you enough to let you guys win this week, but still thanks.

                                                          Los Zapatistas defeat Blue Gatorade

All a man gets on his birthday is a pack of wolves wearing sombreros.  

Los Zapatistas found the cure for his season long losing streak, which is the cure for anyone's losing streak, a matchup with Blue Gatorade.  BG was able to beat his projection to come in with a robust score of 90, but all he got on his birthday was a spanking.  The league was thrilled to watch the all time QB matchup.  We witnessed Drake Maye (12) "outduel" Danny Dimes (10).  The two teams head into the stretch run with very different goals, but it is important to have goals even if they are just trying to avoid the Toilet Trophy.  

Eh Big Dude defeats Bricklayers

EBD's week 10 has finally arrived.  Jalen Hurts continues to score from the land and air and CMC returned to lineup for the first time all season to massacre Bricklayers. Now that week 10 is over, hopefully we can stop hearing about it.   Just like we had to hear how stupid we all are for not trading for Kelce, but that doesn't mean EBD was stupid for trying to trade him.  Got it? Good. The nightmare season for Bricklayers continues as they still only have a single victory.  Bricklayers may have been caught looking ahead to a week 11 Titanic Toilet matchup with Blue Gatorade.  A game that will likely decide who takes home the coveted golden bowl.  

The Collegians defeat Rush 'N Missiles

Jamar Chase eats a bowl of Rush 'n Missiles O's

This game was over before it started as The Collegians received an astounding 90 points from Burrow and Chase on Thursday night.  Baker put up his first stinker of the year, only netting the Missiles 10 points.  The Collegians were able to waltz to an easy victory despite the three headed TE monster barely cracking double digits combined.  The Collegians now sit at a surprising 7-3 record to sit at the big boys table.  Do we have a big 5 now?   RM hopes to desperately cling the final playoff spot.  

Stabmybalzrepeatedly defeats Ogre's Death Squad

Shrek chokes on a pile of Magic the Gathering cards

The Death Squad had a chance to jump into playoff contention with every team around him in the standings losing, but instead, true to form, ODS Big E'd the opportunity away.  Brock told ODS that he had a purdy mouth and led SMBR with 25 points in CMC return.  While Jayden Daniels only have ODS 7 points.  Both teams still have the longest of long shots at the playoffs but will likely need to win out to do so.    

Big Nasty Express defeats Bay-Bay's

A train barrels down the tracks about to run over a Canadian Mountie

In a game that was played for pride, Big Nasty Express bested Bay-bay's thanks to Justin Herbert returning to form of past years and the Eagles getting to play a high school offense in the Cowboys.  The result leaves both teams not mathematically but logistically eliminated from the post season or as Dan calls it, the only thing he has ever known.  This is nothing to BNE however, as he has now gone over 20 years of wandering the desert without winning the championship.  That's half a Moses!    

Tinker Stinkers defeats Dollars

Kyler Murray sits on a bench while an Air Force Veteran is buried under Arby's curly fries.

Dollars say that an expansion pack for Call of Duty was released so he benched his tiny quarterback for a huge conspiracy theorist.  The move did not go well. The move cost Dollars the win in what was supposed to be the easiest game remaining on his schedule.  Dollars could be a verge of an epic collapse that was built on the power of the schedule maker.  Don't look now, but Tinker Stinkers have won 3 games in a row and sit one spot out of the playoff picture.  All he needs is that seat to get a little higher over the final month, a booster seat if you will.  

Hardcore Cabinet defeats the Italian Stallions for the 13th straight year.

A champion wins a race against 13 Stallions

You author assumed that this was the year that the streak was over.  The Loins were having their best season since the streak began.  The Loins had the best two players in the matchup on Monday night.  So much so that I in fact created this video memorializing the streak.  But Tua and Achane repeatedly stalled out and those lead to long field goals for Sanders and that recipe was enough for the Monday Night Magic.  The victory allows Hardcore Cabinet to REMAIN IN FIRST PLACE NOT JUST THIS WEEK, COMMISH! It is Hardcore Cabinet's 6 win in a row which is the longest of the season in HTPB. On the bright side for Italian Stallions, they are primed for their first playoff run in years and can lose to Hardcore Cabinet in the Super Bowl to extend the streak, but get two more bites at the apple next year.  

In pick em this week, Blue Gatorade finally won something going 6-1.  However their one loss that kept them from the first perfect week this season, was picking his own shit squad to win.  Pride is one of the seven deadly sins, young man.  Italian Stallions takes up the rear with an awful 2-5 record.  Overall HC remains a top both sets of standings, while EBD moves into last place one win behind ODS and LZ.

1. LZ 108-22

He remains atop the power rankings alone but the gap has closed a tiny bit.

2. EBD 97-33

3. HC 92-38

4. IS 86-44

The big four still lords over the rest of the league.

5. TC 68-62

Earlier I asked if there is now a big 5.  No there is not.  

6. BB 64-66

7. $$ 64-66

8. RM 60-67

The middle of the pack.  Mediocre teams but some will make the playoffs and anything can happen.

9. TS 56-74

10. BNE 55-75

11. ODS 54-76

Not very good but still alive for the playoffs because of the mediocre level above.

12. SMBR 43-87

13. BL 42-88

These teams are 2024 awful.

14. BG 22-108

This team is all time awful.  May Be Fat bad.

First round bye 

LZ 48% HC 43% EBD 3% IS 2% TC 2%

Make the playoffs

LZ and HC 100%

EBD, TC, IS 99%

$$ 82%

RM 57%

TS 31%

ODS 13%

BB 8%

BNE 4%

SMBR 1%

Toilet Bowl 

BG 57%

BL 42%

BB 0.19%

Game of the Week

#1 Hardcore Cabinet vs #9 Ogre's Death Squad

12 BB vs 5 TC

10 BNE vs 4 EBD

6 $$ vs 7 RM

3 IS vs 8 TS

2 LZ vs 11 SMBR

The Toilet Bowl game of the Millennium

#13 Blue Gatorade vs #14 Bricklayers

This game will determine the winner of the toiletries.  Will it end up in a college apartment to be sullied with bong smoke and fecal matter? Or will it end up getting tarnished in a garage by an asshole? 

At this time next week, we should have a pretty clear view of the post season.  Can your squad make a move?