Week 3 in HTPB was filled ass beatings and low scores. The league has started to separate itself with 3 unbeatens and 4 winless teams all of which are the goon squad but don't be too hard on them. They haven't had a chance to play any shit teams like each other yet.
Jeremy's Brother tasted defeat for the first time today and I'm sure it tasted like a Beef 'n Cheddar with a side of curly fries. Despite losing David Montgomery early in the game, EBD was able to hold one and remain unbeaten and unable to install an antennae. JB made the right decision in benching Rodgers but sadly was unable to bench and replace most of the rest of his roster. Jason clearly deserved this after slandering mentally handicapped people earlier in the week. Jason felt he could make fun of mentally handicapped children and believed they should be subject to mocking because he mistakenly thought he had volunteered in the classroom in high school, but I have received word that it was trial placement that didn't work out. When reached for comment, Mr. Toney said, "Jason tried really hard but he really wasn't up to the snuff we expect here. plus we didn't have any desks his size."
(Josh Allen sprouts out of Ogre's Death Squad)Lamar Jackson continued to lead Stabmyballzrepeatedly in his quest to regain the top stop in the standings. The Ravens QB played a level 7 rushing quarterback attack aided by a fire mage elf protection spell or some other unbathed weirdo bullshit. This was enough to lead him to the highest score for the second week in a row. Ogre's Death Squad got three good performances that were surrounded by shit, which was like watching flowers grow out of garbage. ODS has had some bad luck as the power rankings will show, but that is not what this blog is about. It's about shaming people. Maybe give up whatever time you are spending managing this team and focus on not letting your daughter wear Steelers shit. You too Sergio. Terrible fucking parents. Yes, yes, I know Max sucks ass but he was bitch when I met him when he was 6 years old. Too far gone.
The Collegians have fallen quickly since their championship run last year. Steve has been run through this season by injuries, suspensions, and this guy At least Armani helped the Browns beat your niece's favorite team. The Shoes has yet to face an opponent who has broken 100 this season, and his two victories are over the worst two teams in the league. Next week he gets to play the winless ODS.
(Bricklayers so far this season)Bricklayers continued stomping mudholes in teams this week, derailing the Big Nasty Autodraft. What's an analogy for an unstoppable force. Bricklayers has had teams like this before but nobody remembers him for it. Jalen Hurts could be a league winner while BNE would settle for a game winner. Might be time for BNE to downgrade the level of transportation. The offensive defensive coordinator was finally able to not lose the defensive matchup, managing to tie this one and pull his defensive record to 0-2-1.
Hardcore Cabinet has increased his winning streak against the Italian Stallions to
11 straight years. The dominance continues although not at the usual level of destruction as you can see by examining the extensive list of beat downs.
2012 108-.78 - 83.60
2013 104.62 - 86.67
2014 130.18 - 102.98
2015 140.30- 115.28
2016 109.23 - 103.62
2017 122.12 - 85.60
2018 148.23 - 80.47
2019 146.92- 106.65
2020 108.97- 100.03
2021 162.59 - 148.08
Russell's Restaurant should change his name Russell's Laundromat because that dude is washed. Or maybe Matt Ferrell presents the Italian Stallions because I own this
team.
The youngest two members of the league tangled this week, as RM beat Blue Gatorade. Jefferson and Taylor have struck out for BG more than Max trying to find a date to homecoming. I'm gong to a homecoming dance this year and I'm 40, plus I know I'll get laid because I've been fucking Dom for 11 years now, since he’s my date. Maybe if you keep talking to your mommy about how to get a girl to talk to you, you'll figure out something. Rush n' Missiles hopes his 2-1 start allows him to do something he has never done before, no not make his father proud, I'm talking about winning a playoff game. That's a recap where I manage to slam both teams and get an additional dig in on Dom. Let me take a bow.
Dollars vs Bay-Bay's was ugly as the Bay Bay's set fantasy football back a few centuries back to the caveman days or as Dan calls it, the mirror. The Bay-Bay's started Herbert with busted ribs and so far his all in on the Chargers plan had been a low battery plan. The level of confidence Dan had at the draft combined with his early season lack of success leads me to believe that Dan has won tons of 6 man leagues with auto drafts. Bay Bay's pulled the double dip of low total score and lowest defense this week. Dollars has let him know that this is in fact the big leagues.
Power Rankings and data by Nick
| PWR | | | |
| TIERS | RANK | W | L | +/- |
1 | BL | 34 | 5 | -1 |
| SMBR | 32 | 7 | 1 |
2 | EBD | 29 | 10 | 0 |
| ODS | 26 | 13 | -7 |
3 | BNE | 22 | 17 | -7 |
| TS | 21 | 18 | 2 |
| HC | 21 | 18 | 1 |
| BG | 19 | 20 | -1 |
| CB | 18 | 21 | 3 |
| LZ | 16 | 23 | 3 |
| $$ | 14 | 25 | 3 |
4 | BB | 9 | 30 | 2 |
| IS | 8 | 31 | 0 |
| $$ | TC | 4 | 35 | 0 |
| | | |
| Fun Facts: |
| Average score only 98 points, lowest this year |
| SMBR Second consecutive week as top scorer |
| Wolf Pack so lucky |
| ODS/BNE so unlucky. |
| BG dropped 4 places, the largest faller and mover overall |
| LZ went up 2 places, biggest increase. |
| Avg Rank | | OVR ALL | WEEK 1 | WEEK 2 | WEEK 3 |
| 3 | BL | 2 | 3 | 3 | 2 |
| 3 | SMBR | 1 | 8 | 1 | 1 |
| 4 | EBD | 3 | 4 | 4 | 5 |
| 5 | ODS | 5 | 5 | 8 | 3 |
| 7 | BNE | 6 | 2 | 11 | 7 |
| 7 | TS | 4 | 9 | 2 | 10 |
| 7 | HC | 7 | 7 | 5 | 9 |
| 8 | BG | 8 | 1 | 9 | 13 |
| 8 | CB | 9 | 11 | 7 | 6 |
| 9 | LZ | 10 | 12 | 10 | 4 |
| 9 | $$ | 11 | 14 | 6 | 8 |
| 11 | BB | 13 | 6 | 13 | 14 |
| 11 | IS | 12 | 10 | 12 | 12 |
| 13 | TC | 14 | 13 | 14 | 11 |
BL and EBD have been in the top half of the league each week.
LZ, IS, and TC have never been in the top half of the league
Above: average rank is average weekly scoring rank. Yellow means top 4, red bottom 4. overall is total points
Weekly Pick'em Results
For the second week in a row we had someone go 7-0. Congratulations to Roy. Although Jason remains in first place overall with his unique waist high perspective. Not only are the goons winless in the league, they had three members tie for last at 1-6 as ODS, BNE, and TC only got one right. The remaining goon was head and shoulders above his brethren with a 2-5 record. Steve keeps his stranglehold on last place as he has gotten 3 games right all season. Click
here for week 4.
The Skynet computer simulation of the remainder of our season and playoff calculator.
If you can't zoom in on this, Skynet believes that BL, SMBR, EBD are in and TC, IS, BB are out. HTPB version of the playoff computer $$$ has 3 (BL, EBD, HC) of his playoff predictions currently in the top 7.
Week 4 Preview
Three top half of the league matchups make the coming week a big deal for HTPB
Game of the Week
#1 SMBR vs #4 JB
HC vs $$$$
BL vs RM
ODS vs LZ
BG vs EBD
BNE vs BB
Toilet Bowl Game of the Week
#13 IS vs #14 TC
