HTPB 22.13

 

Teams eliminated! Toilets clenched tightly!  Teams heading to the playoffs!

Eh Bid Dude's season ended with a thud as injuries and traded away depth to fill in for those injuries caught up with him.  I'm trying to figure out how a roster with Mahomes, Purdy, Henry, Taylor, Swift, Moss, Pierce, Harris, Jefferson, Higgins, LaPorta, Kelce and the #1 defense doesn't go undefeated.  Wait...I'm being told that only 3 of those were active for EBD in week 13.

 SMBR continued their blazing hot streak.  SMBR hasn't scored lower than 110 in 6 weeks.  SMBR has clinched a playoff berth.

Finally after more false deaths than a Friday the 13th movie, Ogre's Death Squad has been put out of their misery.  ODS continued their rough season, scoring in the 80's. RM also had a bad week but it was enough to pick up the victory.  RM continues to not have broken 100 all season.  However he has rode the wave of under 100 victories to clinch a playoff spot. Can his life long streak of never winning a playoff game finally end?  

Big Nasty Express played Bay-Bay's.  This game happened.  Lot of points were scored.  At the end, both were eliminated from playoff contention and avoided the toilet.  This game begs the question...  BNE looks to continue their two decade journey towards a championship that he drafted and BB will look to try and make the playoffs for the first time in franchise history.  

Blue Gatorade took the whole bag of Monday Night Magic and shoved it up Hardcore Cabinet's butt.  BG got 70 points and 6 touchdowns on Monday Night to get the victory and pull into second place overall.  BG sweeps HC this season but a possible playoff matchup awaits. 

Tinker Stinkers snapped a five game losing streak and all it took was someone scoring in the 70's.  Bricklayers trotted out D'Ernest Johnson and Greg Dortch to try to pull out the win.  TS has officially avoided toiletries and went drinking to celebrate.  For Bricklayers the playoffs will come one week early.  Stay tuned.  

Treat Dollars showed up this week to put some doubt in who will be the #1 seed, as Los Zapatistas took the loss.  Can LZ overcome the surprise bonus of Tank Dell?  Stafford, Puca, Kamara, and Chase all had good weeks.  LZ did still score 116 points with double zeros from Johnson and Dell.  Dollars playoffs will begin next week.

(Dom back in his happy place)

The Collegians clinched a playoff spot and Dom clinched a toilet bowl spot.  Legitimately how many is that now?  4? Cory check that and get back to me.  The Collegians got 30 out of DK and good games out of several other players to have their best week of the season.  

The Brothers Wright were the leaders with 5-2 records.  While HC and IS took up the rear with the inverse 2-5. Final regular season picks can be found at this link.

Power Rankings are taking a week off because of playoff math taking precedent this week.

#1 Seed Implications

BG will get the bye with a 38.4 win over LZ in the last week.

RM can get the #1 seed if he outscores a losing LZ by 39.03 and outscores BG by 40.  The skynet service gives this an infinitesimal chance. It only goes two decimal places.

The final two spots of the playoffs.

The winner of Bricklayers and Dollars is in the playoffs, they both have 1405 points so it is winner take all.   The loser is out if SMBR wins against ODS.  $$$ can still make the playoffs if he loses and SMBR loses and $$$ outscores SMBR by 30.  Skynet says this possibility is .08% 

Thanks for playing this year, Italian Stallions, Big Nasty Express, Tinker Stinkers, Eh Bid Dude, Bay-Bay's, and Ogre's Death Squad.    We hardly knew ye....

The playoffs have come early!

Dollars vs Bricklayers win and in, lose and go home.  (Except for that tiny possibility expressed earlier.)

Los Zapatistas vs Blue Gatorade

Can LZ hold on to the top spot?  He just needs to not suck.  Max does suck.  Fuck him.

HC vs BNE

ODS vs SMBR

BB vs IS

EBD vs TS

RM vs TC

Thanks for reading.