HTPB 23.4

 

Who hates who answers

BNE hates Cam Newton

TS hates Bernard Berrian from some JV league that doesn't even have a flog

HC -Alvin Kamara

LZ-hates Michael Thomas (he just wrote slant boy, does anyone call him this?  I had never heard it)

ODS hate LeVeon 

BB hates Eddie Lacy on a personal level

BL hates CJ Spiller (Pat Mahomes creeping in)

TC Jeremy Hill (If Hill is found dead, I'm calling the cops on Steve)

CB hates Mark Andrews, see what spite gets you 

BG hates Austin Eckler 

SMBR hates Marshall Faulk (Early SMBR was a shitshow)

Los Zapatistas defeat Big Nasty Express

(A man trades it all away but it is still not enough to defeat Mexican shoes)

The Big Nasty Express has two first round picks this year and neither are on his team anymore.  In exchange he got a Quarterback with a 9-10 record as a starter and a rookie wide receiver.  Love through in some garbage time TD's to make BNE feel better but it was not enough to get the victory.  Justin Fields managed to get 31 points, part of a 7 TD embate by the Shoes.  BNE continues their impressive two decade long run of getting their ass whipped.

Rush'n Missiles defeat Bricklayers

(A winless teacher wipes his tears with Brick bucks while being mocked on the announcements)

The Bricklayers early pick of Patrick Mahomes is going so poorly that his team appears to have committing a murder suicide pact.  Bricklayers atrocious score is more unsettling considering that he got 37 points from his kicker and defense.  Rush Missiles used a well rounded attack from several players to waltz to easy victory.  Rush 'n Missiles is trying to compile back to back winning seasons for the first time ever in their storied franchise history.  This is Rush 'n Missiles franchise story.

Italian Stallions defeats Blue Gatorade

(Rocky Balboa slams a college kid into a bush)

Italian Stallions continues to roll along and Blue Gatorade continues to be just an awful team. IS used 50 combined points from Collins and Robinson to overcome Aaron Rodgers 10 spot.  Mike Gesicki managed to get one catch for a negative 9 yards.   The 110 points was IS lowest total of the season and it was still enough to clobber BG by 27 points.  BG has yet to break the 100 point barrier this season, yet by some black magic isn't even in the bottom two spots in the standings.  

Ogre's Death Squad defeats the Collegians 

(Shrek gives his brother a prolapsed orifice in a football game)

Burrow was unable to connect with Jamar Chase on only one of his two TD passes which spells defeat. This game came down to the 34 point swing on defense or as BNE likes to call it week 2.  Jayden Daniels has emerged and may be a huge find for ODS. He also got 24 points from his favorite Steelers.  TC has been returned to little brother status.  

Bay-Bay's defeats Hardcore Cabinet

(Derrick Henry runs over a cabinet filled with weapons)

Hardcore Cabinet removed Taysom Hill and his two touchdowns and finally gave up DeAndre Swift whose reanimated corpse scored 25.  Derrick Henry outscored Lamar on Sunday Night 39-26 to put the game away.  Henry 39.40 points would have been enough to defeat BNE in week 2 by his lonesome. 
Some people might say you already used that joke this week.  But hey, it was historically bad. But I mean as Dollars would say.  GOT DAMN.  Bay-bay's was fielding membership offers from a trio who only had one member break the century mark this week but may have had blood alcohol contents that did.

Eh Big Dude defeats Tinker Stinkers

(A tiny man tries to trade a bag of trash for a bag of garbage to no avail)

Kenneth Walker returned from injury with 3 TD's because Seahawks receivers were caught on the 1 yard line trip wire.  Tinker Stinkers made several trades recently which felt like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, as the Stink sank further into the sea.  Tinker Stinkers has fallen on hard times since his impressive playoff streak was broken.    This matchup featured the rare double owner puke.  EBD from consumption and TS from Kenneth Walker. 

Dollars defeats Stabmybalzrepeatedly

A man swims in a martini glass smugly holding a sign that says 97

Dollars put down more drinks than SMBR put up points this week. Dollars has made it to 3-1 with a horseshoe, but was able to overcome the $38 spent for Carson Steele to get negative points and be passed by two guys signed off the street.  Flog researchers have been running tests to see what was more wasted, Dollars on Sunday night or $38 FAAB.  SMBR managed to get off the winless road last week but quickly returned from that detour to return to old school SMBR.  But I am sure it will turn around after the Jets have said that they need to reexamine giving the ball to #2 overall pick at the goal line.  

In weekly pick em, we had a whopping 5 owners go 6-1.  Congratulations to EBD, IS, BB, HC, and TS.  BNE managed to get 2 right so good job by you, buddy.

For the season overall IS is leading these standings as well at 19-9 while BNE and SMBR are 14-15 to bring up the rear which is still pretty good compared to most years. 

All the records can be seen here

We've got power rankings with enough data for some analysis baby!

1. EBD 42-10

2. LZ 42-10

3. IS 41-11

Clear top tier.  These three have been kicking ass and taking names.

4. BB 35-17

5. ODS 31-21

6. RM 29-23

This tier has been very consistent which can lead to championships see HC 2023.

7. $$ 28-24

8. HC 26-26

9. BNE 23-29

I was just as shocked as you to see BNE in here in the mediocre category.

10. Tc 18-34

11. SMBR 14-38

12. BL 13-29

13. BG 11-41

14. TS 11-41

This tier has been awful.  Time to look in the mirror fellas.

As far as luck rankings nobody is more than 2 spots different then they should be which for this point in the year is crazy.  

 Game of the Week

#2 Bay-Bay's vs #4 Los Zapatistas

HC vs TS

ODS vs RM

BL vs $$
EBD vs TC

IS vs SMBR

Toilet Bowl Game of the Week

#10 Big Nasty Express vs #12 Blue Gatorade

See you all next week.