HTPB 24.5

 

We lost our last undefeated squad, but Italian Stallions is still keeping it strong with zero wins.  Tinker Stinkers continues to dominate as a pack of wolves a crowded at the stop of standings in a Human Centiwolf scenario.  

Ogre's Death Squad 127.68 defeats The Collegians 108.52

(An anthropomorphic wildcat wearing a hat that says "Big Cat" hugs Shrek wearing a favorite son shirt, while a man in a cap and gown cries while holding a sign that says, "It should have been me.")

AI with the 100% accuracy.

Justin Fields poured in on when it didn't matter and ODS was able to pull above .500.  AJ Brown continues to disappoint for the Collegians but he did get his second highest scoring game of the year with 7.15.  The Collegians hard luck loss knocks them out of the current playoff field and that first week point total hangs around his neck like tie breaker killing scarlet letter.  

Dollars 123.70 defeats Bay-Bay's 99.58

(An injured and bandaged Mountie is left on the side of the road while a man drives off in a Raptor truck filled with dollar bills and Miller Lites.)

Dollars has won two in a row and hopes to keep the ship afloat after starting 0-2 and losing Joe Burrow.  Jamar Chase got lots of garbage time points to feel like Burrow was back.  The world is starting to return to it's natural place as Bay-Bay's takes a second loss and his team starts to fall apart.  His team is still the best HTPB based in Canada, but all of the long road trips are wearing on his team and finding it's way into America each week.  Dollars playoff picks, if the season ended today would have 2 correct, (HC, ODS)

Los Zapatistas 122.54 defeat StabMyBalzRepeatedly 103.75

(A man in a sombrero robs a comic book store while the owner sleeps despite Rico Dowdle trying to wake him up.)

SMBR continues to leave inactive people in their lineup and while in the guillotine league that is enough to eliminate Sergio, it's not here in HTPB as LZ continues to rack up wins, this week led by the Colts defense and their 26 points.  SMBR continues to be confused and flummoxed by Thursday night and European games. Kevin is desperate to find someone to help him run his team as he continues to crack under the pressure.

Eh Bid Dude 120.76 defeats Blue Gatorade 91.38

(Michael Myers drags a bald kid in a Kent State hoodie through the woods)

When the worst team in the league losing two of its very few playable guys to injuries, it's not going to go well.  Things don't look to be going well as byes have not yet hit his team either.  It will be shocking if he doesn't win the toilet trophy this year. He may never figure out how to not be garbage. In EBD's 5 games his opponent has broken 103 points just once.  EBD was led by Ferguson and his 21 points which is all that is needed to beat BG.  

Tinker Stinkers 143.08 defeat Italian Stallions 112.30

(A dwarf tackles a wild stallion while yelling "Into the Smoker with ya.")

Tinker Stinkers continues to rack up the points and Italian Stallions continue to lose.  Tinker Stinkers is tops of the power rankings and flavorful meat rankings.  Italian Stallions just needs to get enough victories to leap over Blue Gatorade to avoid winning yet another Toilet Bowl Trophy.  This year Kasey tried to talk Dom into not wasting $65.  Ring camera caught footage of the conversation before Dom left for the draft. 

Rush'n Missiles 115.48 defeats Bricklayers 94.61

(A golf coach with red blurry eyes wins the Canton South Teacher of the year award while clutching a fist full of parlay tickets.  A loser teacher with a tiny head and a hairstyle with way too much gel in it looks on sadly.)

After several years of struggling RM has finally figured out how fantasy football works.  More points are good. Armed with this recent knowledge RM, has improved greatly over the last few years.  Bricklayers appears to be trapped in a prison of his own creation.  Here is what Bricklayers drafter in order, Brian Thomas Jr, Chase Brown, Treyvon Henderson, Mike Evans, Calvin Ridley.  That's a starting five that rivals the Washington Generals. Maybe the Layers can turn it around to see what they are made of. 

Big Nasty Express 94.97 defeats Hardcore Cabinet 81.13

(A man with a red beard and white T-shirt with a chest pocket raids an old rusty cabinet to add the Cutler Reality Open on Sunday to his tire fire)

The first version of this picture had the man stone faced so I asked it to edit the face to the expression of (glee from an old timey prospector)

In a game that only a mother could love, BNE was able to piece together a win over Hardcore Cabinet and end the last unbeatens quest for a perfect record.  Trevor Lawrence tripped and fell into the end zone for BNE as a last minute replacement for Purdy, but netted BNE 26 points.  HC had 3 usually strong performers score less than 5 and usually shitty performer Jeudy score less than 5. HC released a statement:

Good win last week, Webb.  As I look at your squad, I could puke. You might be have the worst team besides BG. Last week was on me.  Bad GM skills.  You did nothing special.  I failed.  Just saying.  Good win tho. Thrash!

Better than you, and you know it

1. Tinker Stinkers 59-6 

Really Good

2. LZ 45-20

3. RM 41-24

4. TC 40-25

 Good

5. ODS 36-29

6. HC 36-29

They Aight

7. $$ 33-32

8. SMBR 32-33

Not Good

9. BB 29-36

10. BNE 27-38

11. EBD 25-40

Shitty

12. BL 18-47

13. IS 18-47

14. BG 16-49

Big ups to Los Zapatistas with our first perfect week.  Muy Bueno! EBD which has won every week even had his best week of the year with 6, but it wasn't enough with perfection on the table.  He's still 5 clear of HC and BL in second for the year to date lead.  

Dollars brought up the rear with 3 correct picks.  He's the low man on the year as well.  

Game of the Week

#1 Tinker Stinkers vs 2 Rush'N Missiles

#4 HC vs #10 TC

#6 BB vs #11 SMBR

#12 BL vs #8 BNE

#13 BG vs #3 LZ

#9 $$ vs #5 ODS

Toilet Bowl Game of the Week

#14 Italian Stallions vs #7 Eh Big Dude

Week 6 begins.....NOW!