With Thanksgiving approaching, the members of HTPB took some time to give thanks. So here they are.
It's the big leagues. No flake ass shit. CTC/DOSP being it's own institution, the draft. Great times.
The 14 members & Big Cat
That I can get a response from owners for just posting something. Good or bad, it’s always good for me. Business is good. Go Dudes!
Btw I’m not just going to give a boring unoriginal response. lol
That the league exists
How close it keeps us all.
Taysom Hill
Thankful for the good times and that HTPB gets us together
The longevity of the league
Torn ACL's and all around injuries
Kickers and Ruth Ferrell
This league is my socialization outlet. Two parties a year, a reason to gather. It is a creative outlet for my writing. An opportunity to make people laugh.
The absurd defense rules we have in the league this year that allowed me to beat Bricklayers last week and avoid the toiletries fingers crossed
Bigs and Ferrell's Energy and time and hard work
Getting to talk shit and have fun with all of you fellas!
I am thankful that Kevin and Big E are dicks, but really I am thankful for this league as it has been the tie that binds. It's what keeps us talking, keeps us together.
Bay-Bay's defeat Bricklayers
A mountie presents a man with a tiny head with a golden toilet.
Bay-bay's snapped their 7 game losing streak by defeating Bricklayers. Bricklayers has clinched the toilet trophy. Please store it properly and not in a damp garage. Keep in in your closet next to your leather bracelets and pencil ties but don't be dickhead and damage it. I think maybe that toilet bowls could be used as tie breaker to determine who is the best when teams are tied for most championships. Bay-Bay's may be rubbing fine Canadians syrup on himself in celebration right now but that doesn't change the fact that the franchise has never made the playoffs and hasn't played a meaningful game past Thanksgiving. The team is always monitoring players during the season and their health status, but apparently fails to do this level of research for the draft. Insert dodgeball strategy meme.
Blue Gatorade defeats the Collegians
A man is hoist on his own petard
The Collegians whose record is much better than it should be based on all numbers still decided to spit in the face of the fantasy gods and call his shot this week. Without Burrow and Chase, the Collegians are nothing much, and fell to Blue Gatorade who scored the most points they have all season and have beaten Collegians twice this season. I have filed to petition to the commissioner to ban Collegians from the post season, as losing to BG twice should be grounds for termination. Can Burrow and Chase put together three straight rounds of great performances to carry Collegians to a title?
George Washington from the Dollar bill steals a trophy.
Dollars cruised to an easy win to avenge last year's Super Bowl and week 1. Hardcore Cabinet has now lost two in a row to dim their first round bye hopes. (I don't know how you people live like this.) Dollars managed to put up 133 points with Kyler Murray not breaking double digits. Hardcore Cabinet wasted a lot of points last week against ODS and should have saved some for this week. Dollars still has a shot at the first round bye if he can run the table. A tall order but possible.
Italian Stallions defeat Eh Big Dude
Rocky Balboa stands victorious and steals a man's vape.
Saquon Barkley run all over Eh Big Dude to give the Loins the inside track to the first round bye. Tua and Archane out double dipped Hurts and Brown. It's been a dark road post week 10 for Eh Big Dude, as they have lost two in a row. There is a thread the needle scenario where EBD could miss the playoffs. Italian Stallions have scored over 100 points every single game this year. Will this be IS crowning achievement with his best team yet? Or will he be the 2016 Warriors and blow it in the playoffs. Time will tell.
Stabmybalzrepeatedly defeats Tinker Stinkers
A dwarf is held captive in a pole barn.
Brandon Allen was signed just before kickoff, but SMBR could have kept Brock Purdy in the lineup and defeated Tinker Stinkers who's playoff chances are now on life support. Josh Jacobs scored 3 TD's to lead the way for SMBR who can keep the league's longest active playoff streak alive if he finishes with 2 wins and a little help. He's barely paying attention and is ahead of four teams. Time to look in the mirror. On the bright side, Mahomes has made TS more respectable the second half of the season after finally finding a home after several trades.
Ogre's Death Squad defeats Big Nasty Express
A feeble Shrek needs to use a walker to get past a red bearded hill person.
Ogre's Death Squad takes the ultimate schedule win with the second lowest points of the week. Where was this last week? (Stares in Taysom Hill). Jayden Daniels scored 20% of the points in the entire matchup. ODS is firmly in the muddle around the final playoff spot, while BNE will need to win out with impressive point totals to have a shot. ODS does get to wind up the season with BB and BL which is about as soft of a landing as you can get. Honestly not making the playoffs would be Big E ing this away.
A wounded wolf in a sombrero is about to get hit with a missile strike.
After a 6 game win streak, the Shoes have lost 4 out of 5. Rush N' Missiles is currently in the final playoff spot and is projected by Yahoo to keep it. Can RM hold on or will it slip through his fingers like the final leg of late night rebound based parlay on the West coast. RM does have an easy schedule the rest of the way with two teams barely clinging to life in BNE and TS. RM has won every game this year that his opponent hasn't scored more than 103 points and that's been a tall order for those two this season so RM would totally choke if he doesn't make it. Have I said that both RM and ODS are total choke artists if they both don't take the one remaining spot. You're god damn right I did. The 40 points scored by RM kicker/defense was enough to combine with a well rounded attack to sweep the leader of the Wolves this season. Could there be a new alpha of the wolf pack? Or maybe the head Beta.
EBD and IS took home the win this week with 5-2 record, while LZ took home a smelly 1-6 record. He is in last place overall, 6 whole wins behind next to last. HC holds a one game lead over TC and two over BL. Since BL only picks the higher projected, Yahoo does know what it's talking about I guess.
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/10U1yZLxPBRtqUHSNx8yUlUHe2l8aNko6d5y9UO14BRI/edit?usp=sharing
#1 LZ 116-40
#2. EBD 114-42
#3 HC 109-47
#4 IS 107-49
It's been these 4 teams all season, if you didn't know that, you haven't been paying attention. So Kevin doesn't know this.
#5 $$$ 86-70
Dollars stands alone in the above average leagues
#6 RM 76-80
#7 TC 75-81
Smedium Teams
#8 ODS 69-87
#9 BB 68-88
#10 BNE 66-90
#11 TS 64-92
#12 SMBR 60-96
Still alive if even if braindead on a machine for some
#13 BL 45-111
#14 BG 37-119
BG has tightened this up but they are both legendarily shitty.
The bye week is IS to lose with 94% probability. HC 3% $$ 1%
Playoff Odds
100% Club
IS, HC, TC, $$,
Basically in but chaos could happen
LZ 99%
EBD 95%
Fighting for that last spot
RM 67%
ODS 27%
SMBR 8%
Terri Schiavo
TS 0.52%
BNE 0.17%
Thanks for Playing
BB, BG, BL
Game of the Week
#1 Italian Stallions vs #3 Dollars
2 HC vs 6 EBD
8 ODS vs 12 BB
11 BNE vs 7 RM
13 BG vs 9 SMBR
14 BL vs 5 LZ
4 TC vs 10 TS
Every game still has playoff implications and as of right now so does next week so keep up on those rosters BB, BL, and BG.
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