First up the Gildan New Mexico Bowl. I had no idea what a Gildan was so their sponsorship of the New Mexico Bowl worked enough to get me to look up what a Gildan was. It is a sports apparel company. Who knew? I decided to purchase a plain short sleeve T-shirt because a man has to be comfortable if he is going to sit on the couch for the approximately 122 hours of football in 35 bowl games I will be watching over three weeks.
The Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl brings me some of their fuel system cleaner for the low price of $15.99 which will be helpful for all the stores I had to hit to purchase all of these fine products. The Famous Idaho Potato Bowl cures my hunger with 10 delicious Yukon Gold Potatoes for $19.95. R&L Carriers sponsors the New Orleans Bowl and if I wanted to ship a thank you package in one of their tractor trailers, it would cost me from my house to New Orleans only $272.35. Your autographed picture is on the way R & L.
I have worked up another appetite and decided to stop in at the sports bar Beef O' Brady's which not only did I not know existed but there is a location with 45 minutes of my house. Despite the annoying and unappetizing way their commercials during the game referred to the place as "Beef's", I ordered the Land, Sea, and Air platter of sliders, shrimp, and chicken tenders even though chickens don't fly, Mr. O'Brady. This deep fried delicacy set me back $15.99.
Who wants to spend Christmas Eve with their family when they could attend the Sheraton Hawaii bowl and stay in the premier suite for $3,400 a night. No brainer, lei me, please. After returning home on my Christmas Day flight, I ordered a tasty $5 hot and ready pizza while watching the Little Cesar's Pizza Bowl on the 26th. Fortunately my plane stopped over in San Diego with a layover long enough to open a saving account with a minimum deposit of only $1 at the San Diego County Credit Union to thank them for sponsoring the Poinsettia Bowl.
This is where my corporate thank you quest becomes a little expensive and more than likely illegal. I was able to pull a few strings and was able to get my hands on an unmanned bombing drone from the good people at Northrop Grumman, the friendly people behind the Military Bowl and the American war machine. All of the bombing, none of the mess, and only for $12,548,710.60. My new MQ-9 looks great in the driveway by the way. It's just too bad that their isn't a Steve's Plane Hangar's Bowl.
The Texas Bowl tried to trip up my consumer paradise by not having a direct sponsor. What gives Texas Bowl? How am I supposed to watch two mediocre teams like Syracuse and Minnesota do battle without purchasing something to thank the sponsor? You almost defeated me Texas Bowl, but I bought a commemorative long-sleeved shirt featuring bowl teams appearance in the legendary Texas Bowl for only $30.
The Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl will fight my hunger for the low price of $4.50 for a 5 pack of macaroni and cheese. Hopefully I don't get any on my New Era baseball cap purchased for watching the Pinstripe Bowl for $34.99. I have been doing a lot traveling to complete my free enterprise endeavor so I picked up a nice luggage set from Belk Department Stores and the Belk Bowl. Total cost to travel in style only $240.
I have gotten a few shirts but my legs remain naked. Not after purchasing some fleece pants from Russell Athletic and watching the bowl of the same name for only $5.96. Thanks Mr. Athletic! I dined that evening for 10 pm start of the Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl on 15 spicy garlic wings for $15.99.
Since already had an unmanned flying machine, I would need a manned one. Thank goodness for the Bell Helicopters Armed Forces Bowl and Bell Model 407 that I purchased for $2.54 million. Luckily I was able to fiance my new helicopter though Franklin American Mortgage Company. Thanks for the Music City Bowl. My helicopter flies through the air but doesn't run on it. That's why I picked up a barrel of refined Oil for $48.76 from the people who bring us the Alamo Bowl. I will always remember you, Valero.
In order to improve this blog, I enrolled at National University to earn an Associates degree in creative writing. The Holiday Bowl education set me back $16,632. Taking all of these classes, I will need an extra pep in my step. Thankfully the Advocare V100 Bowl and their vitamin supplements for only $34.95 will keep me going.
The good people at Hyundai and the Sun Bowl would like me to purchase a new car and decided on the sensible sedan with nice leg room, the Hyundai Elentra, for $18,850. I can't to fix my new ride up with $18.99 wiper blades from Auto Zone and the Liberty Bowl. I am going to need some extra funds to pay for all this so I will try to maximize my income tax return through TaxSlayer.com, while I file my taxes while watching the Gator Bowl for only $32.95. I will put my return in Plains Capital Bank to thank them for the Heart of Dallas Bowl. Whatever my return doesn't cover I will just put on my Capital One card because it is in my wallet for the Capital One Bowl.
Time to refuel with a Outback Steak Plate for only $9.99. I can watch both the Outback and Rose Bowl on my 80" Class Razor LED Smart 3DTV for $3,999. I can also scoop any last bits of my steak plate with Tostitos Scoops for $3.99 a bag for my New Year's Day evening while watching the Fiesta Bowl.
The great money grab continues after New Year's Day. I can get insurance on my new car through Allstate for $91 a month as a big thanks for the Sugar Bowl. I can help pay for that with the money I deposited in Discover's Online Savings Account while I watched the Orange Bowl. I am going to need a new smart phone to manage all of these new accounts on the go, so I got the AT&T Nokia Lumia 520 for only $69.99 with a new phone contract with AT&T. This way I will also be able to call everyone I know to watch the AT&T Cotton Bowl. Luckily I was able to get another loan from BBVA Compass at the low APR of 3.08. That will make the fantastic match-up of Vanderbilt and Houston, all the more riveting in the BBVA Compass Bowl.
Wrapping up this season of corporations giving us meaningless football games, I will post all of this on the website domain name that purchased for just $.99 from GoDaddy.com. It should be up and running by the end of the GoDaddy Bowl.
Finally the BCS National Championship Game. The only game that actually means something. The biggest game of them all features the return of our good friends at Vizio. I can't wait to get my second 80" TV. I will need it too because some of these bowl games are on at the same time. Don't these advertisers know how to maximize their advertising dollar?
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