HTPB 24.5

 

We lost our last undefeated squad, but Italian Stallions is still keeping it strong with zero wins.  Tinker Stinkers continues to dominate as a pack of wolves a crowded at the stop of standings in a Human Centiwolf scenario.  

Ogre's Death Squad 127.68 defeats The Collegians 108.52

(An anthropomorphic wildcat wearing a hat that says "Big Cat" hugs Shrek wearing a favorite son shirt, while a man in a cap and gown cries while holding a sign that says, "It should have been me.")

AI with the 100% accuracy.

Justin Fields poured in on when it didn't matter and ODS was able to pull above .500.  AJ Brown continues to disappoint for the Collegians but he did get his second highest scoring game of the year with 7.15.  The Collegians hard luck loss knocks them out of the current playoff field and that first week point total hangs around his neck like tie breaker killing scarlet letter.  

Dollars 123.70 defeats Bay-Bay's 99.58

(An injured and bandaged Mountie is left on the side of the road while a man drives off in a Raptor truck filled with dollar bills and Miller Lites.)

Dollars has won two in a row and hopes to keep the ship afloat after starting 0-2 and losing Joe Burrow.  Jamar Chase got lots of garbage time points to feel like Burrow was back.  The world is starting to return to it's natural place as Bay-Bay's takes a second loss and his team starts to fall apart.  His team is still the best HTPB based in Canada, but all of the long road trips are wearing on his team and finding it's way into America each week.  Dollars playoff picks, if the season ended today would have 2 correct, (HC, ODS)

Los Zapatistas 122.54 defeat StabMyBalzRepeatedly 103.75

(A man in a sombrero robs a comic book store while the owner sleeps despite Rico Dowdle trying to wake him up.)

SMBR continues to leave inactive people in their lineup and while in the guillotine league that is enough to eliminate Sergio, it's not here in HTPB as LZ continues to rack up wins, this week led by the Colts defense and their 26 points.  SMBR continues to be confused and flummoxed by Thursday night and European games. Kevin is desperate to find someone to help him run his team as he continues to crack under the pressure.

Eh Bid Dude 120.76 defeats Blue Gatorade 91.38

(Michael Myers drags a bald kid in a Kent State hoodie through the woods)

When the worst team in the league losing two of its very few playable guys to injuries, it's not going to go well.  Things don't look to be going well as byes have not yet hit his team either.  It will be shocking if he doesn't win the toilet trophy this year. He may never figure out how to not be garbage. In EBD's 5 games his opponent has broken 103 points just once.  EBD was led by Ferguson and his 21 points which is all that is needed to beat BG.  

Tinker Stinkers 143.08 defeat Italian Stallions 112.30

(A dwarf tackles a wild stallion while yelling "Into the Smoker with ya.")

Tinker Stinkers continues to rack up the points and Italian Stallions continue to lose.  Tinker Stinkers is tops of the power rankings and flavorful meat rankings.  Italian Stallions just needs to get enough victories to leap over Blue Gatorade to avoid winning yet another Toilet Bowl Trophy.  This year Kasey tried to talk Dom into not wasting $65.  Ring camera caught footage of the conversation before Dom left for the draft. 

Rush'n Missiles 115.48 defeats Bricklayers 94.61

(A golf coach with red blurry eyes wins the Canton South Teacher of the year award while clutching a fist full of parlay tickets.  A loser teacher with a tiny head and a hairstyle with way too much gel in it looks on sadly.)

After several years of struggling RM has finally figured out how fantasy football works.  More points are good. Armed with this recent knowledge RM, has improved greatly over the last few years.  Bricklayers appears to be trapped in a prison of his own creation.  Here is what Bricklayers drafter in order, Brian Thomas Jr, Chase Brown, Treyvon Henderson, Mike Evans, Calvin Ridley.  That's a starting five that rivals the Washington Generals. Maybe the Layers can turn it around to see what they are made of. 

Big Nasty Express 94.97 defeats Hardcore Cabinet 81.13

(A man with a red beard and white T-shirt with a chest pocket raids an old rusty cabinet to add the Cutler Reality Open on Sunday to his tire fire)

The first version of this picture had the man stone faced so I asked it to edit the face to the expression of (glee from an old timey prospector)

In a game that only a mother could love, BNE was able to piece together a win over Hardcore Cabinet and end the last unbeatens quest for a perfect record.  Trevor Lawrence tripped and fell into the end zone for BNE as a last minute replacement for Purdy, but netted BNE 26 points.  HC had 3 usually strong performers score less than 5 and usually shitty performer Jeudy score less than 5. HC released a statement:

Good win last week, Webb.  As I look at your squad, I could puke. You might be have the worst team besides BG. Last week was on me.  Bad GM skills.  You did nothing special.  I failed.  Just saying.  Good win tho. Thrash!

Better than you, and you know it

1. Tinker Stinkers 59-6 

Really Good

2. LZ 45-20

3. RM 41-24

4. TC 40-25

 Good

5. ODS 36-29

6. HC 36-29

They Aight

7. $$ 33-32

8. SMBR 32-33

Not Good

9. BB 29-36

10. BNE 27-38

11. EBD 25-40

Shitty

12. BL 18-47

13. IS 18-47

14. BG 16-49

Big ups to Los Zapatistas with our first perfect week.  Muy Bueno! EBD which has won every week even had his best week of the year with 6, but it wasn't enough with perfection on the table.  He's still 5 clear of HC and BL in second for the year to date lead.  

Dollars brought up the rear with 3 correct picks.  He's the low man on the year as well.  

Game of the Week

#1 Tinker Stinkers vs 2 Rush'N Missiles

#4 HC vs #10 TC

#6 BB vs #11 SMBR

#12 BL vs #8 BNE

#13 BG vs #3 LZ

#9 $$ vs #5 ODS

Toilet Bowl Game of the Week

#14 Italian Stallions vs #7 Eh Big Dude

Week 6 begins.....NOW!

HTPB 24.4

                                                  

         The season is already 1/4 gone and we only have two teams remaining with goose eggs in the standings.  Plus the gaggle of group think goobers, seem to have bunched up in the standings, with Wolves at the high end, Goons in the middle, and AOE in the bottom tier.  

                              Hardcore Cabinet 166.08 defeats StabmyBalzrepeatedly 126.10

(Comic book guy opens a cabinet labeled Hardcore, that emits a powerful blinding light as if the power of the heavens as been unleashed.)

SBMR got off to a rough start with Warren a late scratch over in Ireland.  It doesn't appear to matter has Hardcore led the league in points behind 10 touchdowns and two 30 points scorers.  This is SMBR second hard luck loss of the season, which looks great in the power rankings, but not in the standings.  Hardcore Cabinet remains undefeated and has been in the top half of scores each week so far this season, having swept the entire Johnson clan already this season. 

    

                                           Bay-Bay's 114.53 defeat Italian Stallions 105.33

(A football coach Sylvester Stallone is a dunce cap looks on sadly as Daniel Jones throws a football badly.)

The Stallions benched Dak Prescott and his 34 points in exchange for Daniel Jones' 10 points.  This move cost him causing the Stallions to still be searching for their first win of the season.  While Bay-Bay's were able to overcome the loss of Malik Nabors to a likely torn ACL to go 3-1, in what has been the best start of the franchise's history.  BB's lack of a bench looms large without Nabors and the bye weeks beginning.  

Ogre's Death Squad 91.55 defeats Blue Gatorade 76.08

(A bald college kid runs away with a golden toilet, while saying "Not getting away from me this time" in the style of a Sunday newspaper comic)

The return of Chris Godwin and his 4 points was not enough to let BG break 76 points. After deserving but avoiding the Toilet Bowl Trophy last season, Blue Gatorade is trying to right that wrong with an even worse team this year.   Ogre Death Squad will take advantage with the lucky win. The three headed monster of Geno, Sam Darnold, and Justin Fields continues to be predictably awful.  ODS' schedule gets much harder the rest of the way, can he make the playoffs for the first time since 2020? 

Rush 'n Missiles 129.97 defeat Los Zapatistas 126.52

(an anthropomorphic wolf with a water bottle full of brown liquid and whistle around his neck, saying "Get the F back" will standing victoriously over a anthropomorphic wolf wearing a sombrero)

Los Zapatistas were let down by Justin Herbert in an otherwise solid team performance to narrowly lose to the top heavy performance of Allen, Puka, and Judkins who scored 65% of RM total points. RM emerges from a brutal opening to the season schedule that had 4 of the top 6 in the standings, (he's one of the other 2) and finished 3-1.  RM takes the early lead in the Alpha wolf standings.  

The Collegians 134.02 defeat Tinker Stinkers 131.05

(a college graduate in cap and gown playing original Nintendo and on the tv the video game boss being defeated is a dwarf.)

The Collegians got all of the players' bad weeks over the first game of the year as they have been steadily increasing their point totals each week.  Bo Nix gave the Collegians a Bo-ner with a big night Monday and Lions defense feasted on our god awful offense.  The Stinkers have been racking up points in the early season, but Lamar's hamstring injury could be cause for some concern as the schedule will get much tougher down the line.  Tinker Stinkers first 5 opponents have somehow only managed to combine for 5 wins on the season.  

Big Nasty Express 102.79 defeats Eh Bid Dude 102.45

(A man wins a race by the length of his red beard against a tree wearing a Jason Vorhees style mask.)

For the second week in a row, BNE needed Monday Night Magic and this time he got it, narrowly edging out EBD.  Caleb Williams came back to Earth and Tyreke Hill got his knee turned inside out, but it was enough for BNE to squeak out the victory.  EBD has two victories having not broken 104 points in week.  But his next four weeks are against the bottom four teams in the standings.  Maybe EBD can continue to get wins against the soft underbelly of HTPB. Maybe the slow start is because of the zero trades so far.

Dollars 117.17 defeats Bricklayers 104.22

(an evil dictator smacks a small evil dictator with a tiny head with a wad of cash)

Chase Brown and Brian Thomas continue to struggle mightily for Bricklayers.  Dollars used three giant body blows from Wentz, Pickens, and Hampton as he gets the first win of the year behind his revamped team as he tries to rebuild his team post Burrow injury. This matchup between active leaders in wins and win percentage was rough as it so far has been a down trodden year for both.  While the team in second place in both categories has been perfect and gaining ground.

The cream of the crop.

1. Tinker Stinkers 46-6  

In a class by himself this year, in school that was because of his special needs but now it's because of his special team. 

Really good teams

2. Hardcore Cabinet 36-16

3. Los Zapatistas 35-17
4. The Collegians 34-18

5. Rush'n  Missiles 33-19

Basic Ass Bitches

6. SMBR 27-25

7. BB 25-27

8. ODS 24-28

9. BNE 24-28

10. $$ 22-30

Diaper Pails

11. EBD 16-36

12. BL 16-36

13. BG 15-37

14. IS 11-41

Power Rankings tie breakers is total points. So far SMBR has been the unluckiest and EBD has been the luckiest. 

Our high draft picks that could give us issues

Gibbs, Evan Engram, Denver's D, McConkey, Harrison Jr, DJ Moore, Drake London, Chase Brown, Jeanty, Burrow, Tyreke (what did Nick know and when did he know it), Kelce, 

one person I think misunderstood the question and SMBR sent a middle finger.

For the fourth week in a row 5 was the highest number of correct picks and for the fourth week in a row, EBD was at least tied for the best record.  He was joined this week by BL, HC, TC, ODS, and BNE.  Bringing up the rear were LZ and $$. Overall EBD is obviously in 1st and the IS are in 14th.  Full results can be found here. 

Game of the Week 

(This week is mostly haves vs have nots)

#1 Hardcore Cabinet vs #8 Big Nasty Express

#6 ODS vs #7 TC 

#5 BB vs #11 $$
#12 BL vs #3 RM

#14 IS vs #2 TS

#4 LZ vs #10 SMBR

Toilet Bowl Game of the Week

#9 Eh Bid Dude vs #13 Blue Gatorade

Bye weeks begin so it's things are about to get weird. Enjoy week 5!

HTPB 24.3

 

The ranks of the unbeaten and the winless took a big hit this week.  We had ten teams with goose eggs in a column in the standings and now we have 5. Power Rankings will debut next week.  Right now everyone is bunched up for the most part except Tinker Stinkers a clear #1 and The Loins a distant #14.

Hardcore Cabinet 112.65 defeats Blue Gatorade 88.52

(A smiling dad puts his failure bald son in the corner)

Hardcore Cabinet remains undefeated after picking up a third straight win over someone who has slept with one of Kevin's sisters.  Blue Gatorade's receiving core of McConkey and McLauren did McShitty totaling 12 points.  Hunter Henry led the way for Hardcore Cabinet overcoming yet another poor performance from #1 pick Alshon Jeanty and 2nd round pick Tee Higgins scored 1 point.  

Stabmybalzrepeatedly 105.37 defeats Bricklayers 91.99

(A man in a hoodie unleashes a team of 7 year old flag football players with giant steroid aided muscles to attack a man with a tiny head and tons of gel in his hair.)

Despite a big 21 points from Drake Maye and 26 from the Chiefs defense, Bricklayers couldn't crack 92 points.  Despite Bricklayers opponents having secured exactly zero wins against any other team, he has managed to put together only 1 win.  SMBR used a well rounded performance to pick up his first win of the season right before a tough schedule stretch over the next three weeks where his opponents have a combined record of 8-1.

The Collegians 144.70 defeats Eh Big Dude 95.22

(An mysterious wizard known as the schedule maker breaks off his relationship with a giant who has to face reality)

Eh Big Dude finally played someone who didn't have a terrible week and boy howdy did they over correct as the Collegians went nanners for 144 points.  The Collegians outscored their week 1 performance by 99.  EBD spent a majority of his FAAB on Jake Browning who left a giant brown something on the field this week.  When your team is led in scoring by a white running back not named CMC, it could be a dark stretch for EBD.  

Ogre's Death Squad 137.68 defeats Italian Stallions 98.77

(Shrek puts a stallion in a headlock while a lamb with his ankle in a cast cries.)

Geno Smith dropped a 30 spot to give ODS their first victory of the year. He's running a celebration sale on his onlyfans. The Italian Stallions are staring yet another toilet bowl this year especially after Lamb's early injury today.  Even JTT's 33 spot could not save the Stallions from their fate.  Can the Stallions avoid yet another terrible season?

Rush'n Missiles 124.65 defeats Bay-Bay's 82.63

(A coach chases off a Mountie making sure he is gets back.)

Bay-Bay's returned to where they feel the most comfortable, losing without breaking 100 this week.  RM was able to return to winning form as Josh Allen returned to form as well, getting 27 points.  James Conner was lost for the season for Bay-Bay's. Could Bay-Bay's fall of a cliff just like year after a hot start?   

Tinker Stinkers 132.05 defeats Dollars 126.28

(A dwarf smashes a zombie made of money with his bag of Arby's while a sad reporter takes notes on the changing battle.)

Tinker Stinkers used a whole heaping serving of Monday Night Magic to continue his steam rolling through the league through 3 weeks.  Both Lamar and Montgomery got over 30 points as Dollars tried to get his season of the mat behind two running backs who currently aren't splitting carries in Hampton and Mason.  Right now that all time winning percentage is taking a pretty big hit. Currently his playoff predictions are toilet bowl worthy as well as they have 2 teams that are currently in the top 7 for a combined 33% win percentage.  Take away HC's 3-0 record and the other 6 have a combined 4 wins. 

Los Zapatistas 108.50 defeat Big Nasty Express 103.84

(A man in a sombrero just edges out a train driven by Caleb Williams in a race called "Monday Night")

The BNE tried to pull of  the upset with Caleb Williams scoring a third of his team's points but the victory slipped through his painted nails.  The Zapatistas remained undefeated mainly thanks to the Colts are their horse based defense.   Will BNE still have a chance to make the playoffs when all of his injured guys return?  Will LZ ever lose?  Will I come up with something funny for this game? 

1. no

2. yes

3. not really, this bit is weak

The top pickers went 5-2 this week, with SMBR, BNE, ODS, and EBD hitting those games correctly.  EBD has at least been tied for 1st all three weeks and is our overall leader.  Everybody else got 3 right except for TC who got 4. 

Here are the guys that everybody else was stupid for letting them fall in the draft

BNE- Shaheed

RM- Judkins

TS -Warren 

LZ- Egbuka

ODS- Ayomanor

BB-Javontae Williams

EBD- Diggs

$$- Tuten

IS- Etienne

HC- JCM

BL- Kraft

Too Shitty of a bench- BG,TC

Always fucking with me on the question: SMBR

Game of the Week

#2 Los Zapatistas vs Rush'n Missiles #4

HC vs SMBR

EBD vs BNE

IS vs BB

BG vs ODS

TS vs TC

Toilet Bowl Game of the Week

#13 Dollars vs #12 Bricklayers

Good luck to all next week! 

Click here for episode 1 of Ruthless.

HTPB 24.2

                                                         

 Usually the league is full of parity.  Not so far this year with so many winless and undefeated teams.  Will it continue?  The Power Rankings won't be debuting this week as their isn't enough data, so way to get everyone's hopes up this morning, Big E.  

Bricklayers 101.43 beat Italian Stallions 86.38

(Rocky Balboa stands in the ring being pelts by Lego bricks)

It wasn't pretty as a game between the last two toilet bowl winners would be.  When a game features 4 Jaguars, it's not for the feint of heart.  Bricklayers gets a leg up on this race to avoid the bottom.  The Loins are the lone team to have not cracked 100 and are in driver's seat for another toilet after last year's blip.  Although when it's heading to the toilet bowl, it's more like tied up in the trunk than the driver's seat.  

Big Nasty Express 122.30 defeats Ogre's Death Squad 92.15

(A train held together with duct tape and sadness runs over Shrek in a New York Jets Jersey)

Ogre's Death Squad was undone by Justin Fields, the lone QB on his roster, who both suffered possible brain trauma. Fields on Sunday and ODS on draft day.  BNE was able to overcome losing Worthy, Mixon, and Purdy to get 123 points with a well rounded attack led by Buffalo D as Fields was the gift that gave both ways.  

Bay-Bay's 156.97 defeat The Collegians 106.07

(A mountie arrests a college graduate and takes him to jail on horseback)

Bay-Bay's is off to a 2-0 start which is 33% of the way to his best record ever in the league.  (that's 6 wins if math is difficult for you)  The dream's of a repeat championship are not very vivid right now.  Right now the collegians are dreaming about just getting a win.  The Collegians did however score 3 times as much as week 1.    Bay-Bay's won the little brother bowl.  

Hardcore Cabinet 103.53 vs Rush'n Missiles 100.03

(One teacher happily holds a bag of gummies while the other teacher is sad and only gets a water bottle with tobacco spit)

The closest game of the week came down to a Jordan Reed injury.  Josh Allen led the Bills to 30 points but didn't score himself as he let James Cook handle that.  RM said that HC draft was disappointing and his team was second rate.  Aged like cheese.  Luckily RM parlayed his loss with some European soccer and Korean baseball on his wife's Draft Kings account.  Hardcore Cabinet pulls off the Texas two step of people who sleep with Kevin's sisters.

Tinker Stinkers 119 defeats Blue Gatorade 101.77

(A dwarf unsatisfied by his Arby's smokes a bald college kid with an apple in his mouth like a pig on s pit.)

I had to add "mannequin" so it would work within terms and conditions

Lamar Jackson ripped through the Browns like Jason rips through a pork butt and lead the Stinkers to victory.  He keeps his hold on to first place while BG keeps his hold on Godwin on a active roster spot instead of using the IR spot.  The Stinkers continue to roll through the competition after being declared the favorite last week so anything less than his first championship will be a crushing disappointment.  As BG's father, I more than anyone understand crushing disappointment.  

                                       Eh Big Dude 103.47 defeats StabmyBalzrepeatedly 98.93

(Jason Vorhees on crutches destroys Comic Book Guy's Shop)

Eh Big Dude continues his run through a soft schedule threading the needle of wins.  The Browns shut down Derrick Henry and when someone gets 24.50 from a kicker, getting the win is hard.  EBD running back zero philosophy has been working when matched up opponent scores 100 zero.  

                                                    Los Zapatistas 109 defeat Dollars101

         (An angry man in a Joe Burrow jersey punches a hole in drywall and on the other side is a smiling man in a sombrero.)

Dollars managed to cross the 100 threshold despite the Burrow injury.  Dollars has already transitioned like somebody at the last day of the county fair trying avoiding the toilet. With no active QB on the roster, it could look rough the rest of the way. Los Zapatistas continue their march towards their 4th straight cash out and trying to head up the all time league wins total.

EBD and BG win this week with 5 correct guesses.  The rear was filled with 2-5 records from IS, ODS, RM, and TC.  EBD is our overall leader and IS is at the bottom.  Full results available here.

                                                                 Game of the week 

                                                    #2 Bay-Bay's vs #6 Rush'n Missiles

                                                                    HC vs BG

                                                                    EBD vs TC

                                                                    BNE vs LZ

                                                                    BL vs SMBR

                                                                    $$ vs TS

                                                                    

                                                                   Toilet Bowl Game

                                              #13 Italian Stallions vs #11 Ogre's Death Squad

Good luck next week.  

                                                    

HTPB 24.1

 

Welcome back HTPB fans!  It's time for season 24!  The Lone Wolves are the top three in the standings with actual lone wolves taking the next three spots.  Goons are 0fer, and AOE only has a win because one got to beat another. 

(A giant hammer drives a nail into a Stallion)

Hardcore Cabinet 105 defeats Italian Stallions 75

Death, taxes, and Hardcore Cabinet defeating The Loins.  For the 14th straight regular season, Italian Stallions lost to Hardcore Cabinet.  The Loins have been crowing about their victory in the third place game last season, but listen very closely to this finely crafted sentence that is 100% accurate.  The Italian Stallions have not defeated Hardcore Cabinet in a game that could have trophy implications since 2011.  Luckily, there is a chance at redemption for you later this season.  But unlikely.

(A man with a small head bullies a little girl basketball player while her bald brother gets ready to defend her.)

Blue Gatorade 112 defeats Bricklayers 100

Bricklayers began their Sunday by sicking their squad of older girls against a poor helpless little angel on the basketball court.  However like a good big brother, Blue Gatorade rushed to defend his little sister against such a bully.  With only 19 points combined out of the Jags stack in a good game for Jacksonville, it could be a long season for the Layers.  Blue Gatorade unlike that piece of cow dung, Jimmy Haslem, stuck with Baker Mayfield to the tune of 27 points.

(A mountie steals a toy train)

Bay-Bay's 100 defeats Big Nasty Express 87

In a matchup of two teams that have traditionally been the moveable object and resistible force, Bay-Bay's has made off with a win to start his season.  What week will the bottom fall out this year?  Stay tuned.  The Express got destroyed more in Primetime games than Primetime's toes and bladder.   Already losing Worthy for a significant stretch of time could spell another season sifting through BNE's fingers like sands of the hour glass. Things don't look to be getting any better for the BNE family as Alex was guillotined this week in the league that his father started.  Generational fantasy poverty is a problem in this country.  

(A homeless man clutches a football trophy in his cardboard box while a man in a sombrero laughs at him)

Los Zapatistas 120 defeat The Collegians 45

The Collegians championship defense started with a whimper.  Not a single player scored double digits for the The Collegians.  Hall and Herbert alone would have produced a win for The Shoes.  Zapatistas has cashed 3 years in a row and looks to continue his hot streak.  Can he overcome the Kittle injury?

(Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler having a slap fight while wearing sundresses.)

                                                                    I can’t create that image.

But if you’d like something fun and surreal in a similar playful spirit, I could make a picture of two generic dictators in vintage sundresses having a silly slap-fight cartoon style. That way you get the humor and absurdity without using real-world figures tied to atrocities.

Want me to make that version?

So I said yes and it literally gave me the exact thing it said I couldn't have.  

Eh Big Dude 98 defeats Dollars 72

The defenses did most of the light lifting that was needed in this matchup.  The D's accounted for 21% of the matchup's total points.  Dollars playoff predictions got off to a rocky start as well as Hardcore Cabinet was the only of his 7 to get a win in week 1.  EBD gets a win in week 1 despite retiring from the league after last season.    

(Dwarf wrapped in a meat blanket standing victorious over a beaten Comic Book guy from the Simpsons after an epic battle in the roman colosseum.)

Yeah I know it's more Chief Wiggum than Comic Book Guy, but boy howdy check out that meat blanket.

Tinker Stinkers 142 defeats StabmyBalzrepeatedly 137

A high scoring matchup featuring fantasy studs like Mahomes and Henry vs Jackson and CMC led to lots of fireworks.  Both squads have planted their flags in the ground to be reckoned with this season.  Tinker Stinkers put up a league high point total with only 4 TD's.  Impressive and should be giving the rest of the league night terror sweats to go with Jason's usual meat sweats.  

(A shirtless Vladimir Putin rides Shrek like a pony)

Rush'n Missiles 125 Ogre's Death Squad 124

In a finally margin smaller than the space between ODS's front teeth, but so was the margin in LZ vs TC.  Josh Allen's huge day led the way for RM as he raked in 40 points.  ODS QB Fields also had a big day but that feels less sustainable.  Did ODS waste his opportunity to capitalize like just missing the ice cream truck?  Not for the cool sugary refreshments but for the conglomeration of children.  RM breaks his 100 point cherry early.  

 

To recap last year, HC won with 65 LZ was last with 45

This year's records can be found here.

Our Clubhouse leaders are EBD and LZ with 5-2 records. The real story is the amount of zeros.  $$$, BNE, and IS all went winless.  They are also 3 of the bottom 4 of the standings after 1 week.  Coincidence?  I think not.  

No power rankings yet, but put your bets in what week BNE and BL complain that their team FEELS like it's better than the data says so they get offended, but rest easy you two, both in real life and in math you deserved to lose this week.  

Game of the Week 

#1 Tinker Stinkers vs #4 Blue Gatorade

#2 RM vs #5 HC

#9 ODS vs #11 BNE

#6 BB vs #14 TC

#13 $$ vs #3 LZ

#7 EBD vs #8 SMBR

Toilet Bowl Game of the Week featuring ironically the last two Toilet Bowl "winners"

#10 Bricklayers vs #12 Italian Stallions

Good luck next week.

If you enjoy my take in fake football, you may also enjoy my takes on fake fighting.  This Friday my very own podcast on the North South Connection Network debuts.  So check out Ruthless as I take a week by week look at wrestling 20 years ago, with the same humor you have come to know here.