Sal Bellomo vs. Mr. Hughes w/ Jason
Sal Bellomo was a jobber in the 80s for WWF if I remember correctly. Mr. Hughes was bodyguard in the WWF right before this. Bellomo comes out dressed like a Roman Soldier with a sack of toys that he is throwing into the crowd. I don't get it and Joey Styles gives zero explanation for this other than it makes Sal happy. Good for you Sal. The world needs more giving. Mr. Hughes is dressed exactly the same as I remember him, but sloppilier. This a bunch of punches and kicks. It's not good and the crowd is not into it. What I really want to discuss about this match is the manager, Justin. That's his name Justin. No last name. No nickname. It's not even a cool name. It's just Justin.
I mean look at this guy. He has a flat top with a mullet. A sports jacket with no shirt on underneath and sunglasses in a dark arena. I hate and love him at the same time. AND HIS NAME IS JASON! THAT'S IT!!
The match was boring but maybe it was because I was trying to figure out this Jason guy the entire time. He tripped Bellomo during his comeback allowing Hughes to hit a sidewalk slam for the win.
The Sandman and Tommy Cairo vs The Rocking Rebel and The Pitbull in a double dog collar match.
Jason is back out with Rocking Rebel and The Pitbull in a different outfit. Which means I will rooting for them to win and also lose because I don't know what to do about Jason other than follow him. The Sandman is the only guy I recognize and this becomes an issue for me because the combination of the chaos, the far camera shot, and me not knowing who is who leads to me be really lost on which team is winning this match. They fight all over the arena. They pummel each other and Jason has little involvement and my heart aches. Eventually Sandman and Cairo win with a double pin on somebody and then the losers go on the attack afterwards. It's chaos and I am lost. I think I may need to just copy that last sentence to use elsewhere in this review.
The Bruise Brothers: Ron and Don Harris vs The Public Enemy: Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge
My initial thoughts on this match were dread because I hated both of these teams during their future incarnations in WWF and WCW. Plus no Jason. So goes my first ECW match without Jason. These guys also brawl around the arena the hit each other with everything they can get their hands on. The Bruise Brothers beat the hell out of the Public Enemy the entire time. I enjoyed the Public Enemy getting beaten because they have cost me many hours of bad matches. After being pummeled the entire match Public Enemy hits a Harris Brother with a 2x4 and gets the pin. If the goal of this match was to make the Harris' look lame for not being able to handle one tenth of what the Public Enemy could take that it achieved its goal. I might have liked this a little more if it wasn't directly after the previous tag match which seemed exactly the same.
Tommy Dreamer vs Jimmy Snuka
Snuka is really old here and is lead to the ring by a manager whose name I didn't quite get but he had a lot of them so this dude is doing some rich guy gimmick. When he first came out with the bad lighting I thought it was the Dr of Style Slick so it was quite a let down it was Generic Four Names. Tommy Dreamer looks like a Great Value American Males Buff Bagwell. Snuka stalls forever. I mean almost ten minutes of yelling at a fan and then Dreamer going to the fan to get cheers, rinse, repeat. Snuka demolishes Dreamer and then hit the Superfly Splash and Dreamer kicks out. This pissess off Snuka so he hits two more before pinning him and then again after the bell. He also beats up the referee and the commissioner. Joey Styles is shocked but he shouldn't be because the guy is a murderer. What's a little assault. Dreamer is bleeding from the mouth and Generic Four Names did nothing.
Kevin Sullivan and the Tazmaniac vs The Original Sheik and Pat Tanaka
I know who all four of these guys are so I could follow our third chaotic brawl all over the arena tag team match. However this was the worst one of the four. Sheik is super old here and can barely move. His brawling with Sullivan struggles as both guys kind of go through the motions. Tanaka and Tazmaniac seem to be in submission holds when the camera pans back to them and then they randomly release the hold. Eventually Sheik throws a fireball which lets Tanaka pin Tazmaniac and nobody seems to care or think that was dastardly. Sullivan and Sheik keep fighting for a bit until they stop and just walk to the back. This sucked.
Mike Awesome vs JT Smith
I remember Awesome in the dying days of WCW and short run during the invasion. I have no idea who Smith. This was a few minutes of an amazing squash. Awesome is killing Smith with powerful looking moves and then Awesome dives over the top rope and crushes Smith against the protective barrier. Awesome gets rolled up for a flash pin out of nowhere. I was shocked. Awesome gets upset and pastes the referee with two powerbombs. This was fun and it was the first thing tonight, I would like to see more of the story as it goes on.
The graphic says this is Terry Funk defending the ECW title vs Sabu and Shane Douglas in a three way dance. Paul Dangerously who is Sabu's manager runs out and attacks Douglas' manager Sherri Martel. The match starts and I keep waiting on Funk to come out and join in but he doesn't. Eventually Styles mentions that if this match doesn't have winner in fifteen minutes then Funk will join in and make it a three way. I have never seen something like that before. Sabu tries to have a wrestling match and it is no good. So Shane Douglas tries to go out on the floor and brawl with Sabu and it is also no good.
Fifteen minutes goes by and Funk joins the match. Sabu botches and table spot and gets helped to the back. So it's one on one for awhile. It's a brawl through the crowd. This has gotten repetitive. It doesn't mean anything anymore. Half of the card has gone through the crowd. Eventually Sabu comes back and may be legitimately injured because everything looks difficult for him and he has been out of the match for twenty minutes. Or it could just be that Sabu sucks. Both are equally possible.
Funk goes up to the announce booth and calls out both Shane and Sabu to come fight him and calls them a litany of names. Only problem is that they can't hear him. It's not going through the arena only the TV audience. Two guys called the Rotten Brothers come out and beat up Shane and Sabu. The Rotten Brothers look like two Brian Nobbs from the Nasty Boys. Sabu fights with them to the back and eventually returns. All three guys are exhausted which is most understandable for Douglas the match meanders and is sloppy. Terry Funk beats up the referee with ten minutes left for no reason. In the final minute Douglas hits Sabu with a cross body which also catches Funk. Then Funk tries to pin both of them back and forth but their is no referee because he beat him up for being alive or something. The time limit thankfully expires.
This match was something. It was chaotic and wild. There were lots of parts that didn't make sense as they tried to give Funk and Sabu time for breaks. Kudos to Douglas for going the whole hour. However if you want to do a 1 hour time limit draw make sure it has three people who can go for an hour reasonably. If this was condensed into an hour and more importantly had the undercard not stolen the thunder from the main event, this could have been something.
This whole show was not good. I will watch the TV leading up to the next supershow and see if it helps make sense of this. I am lost and not entertained one show in.
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I mean look at this guy. He has a flat top with a mullet. A sports jacket with no shirt on underneath and sunglasses in a dark arena. I hate and love him at the same time. AND HIS NAME IS JASON! THAT'S IT!!
The match was boring but maybe it was because I was trying to figure out this Jason guy the entire time. He tripped Bellomo during his comeback allowing Hughes to hit a sidewalk slam for the win.
The Sandman and Tommy Cairo vs The Rocking Rebel and The Pitbull in a double dog collar match.
Jason is back out with Rocking Rebel and The Pitbull in a different outfit. Which means I will rooting for them to win and also lose because I don't know what to do about Jason other than follow him. The Sandman is the only guy I recognize and this becomes an issue for me because the combination of the chaos, the far camera shot, and me not knowing who is who leads to me be really lost on which team is winning this match. They fight all over the arena. They pummel each other and Jason has little involvement and my heart aches. Eventually Sandman and Cairo win with a double pin on somebody and then the losers go on the attack afterwards. It's chaos and I am lost. I think I may need to just copy that last sentence to use elsewhere in this review.
The Bruise Brothers: Ron and Don Harris vs The Public Enemy: Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge
My initial thoughts on this match were dread because I hated both of these teams during their future incarnations in WWF and WCW. Plus no Jason. So goes my first ECW match without Jason. These guys also brawl around the arena the hit each other with everything they can get their hands on. The Bruise Brothers beat the hell out of the Public Enemy the entire time. I enjoyed the Public Enemy getting beaten because they have cost me many hours of bad matches. After being pummeled the entire match Public Enemy hits a Harris Brother with a 2x4 and gets the pin. If the goal of this match was to make the Harris' look lame for not being able to handle one tenth of what the Public Enemy could take that it achieved its goal. I might have liked this a little more if it wasn't directly after the previous tag match which seemed exactly the same.
Tommy Dreamer vs Jimmy Snuka
Snuka is really old here and is lead to the ring by a manager whose name I didn't quite get but he had a lot of them so this dude is doing some rich guy gimmick. When he first came out with the bad lighting I thought it was the Dr of Style Slick so it was quite a let down it was Generic Four Names. Tommy Dreamer looks like a Great Value American Males Buff Bagwell. Snuka stalls forever. I mean almost ten minutes of yelling at a fan and then Dreamer going to the fan to get cheers, rinse, repeat. Snuka demolishes Dreamer and then hit the Superfly Splash and Dreamer kicks out. This pissess off Snuka so he hits two more before pinning him and then again after the bell. He also beats up the referee and the commissioner. Joey Styles is shocked but he shouldn't be because the guy is a murderer. What's a little assault. Dreamer is bleeding from the mouth and Generic Four Names did nothing.
Kevin Sullivan and the Tazmaniac vs The Original Sheik and Pat Tanaka
I know who all four of these guys are so I could follow our third chaotic brawl all over the arena tag team match. However this was the worst one of the four. Sheik is super old here and can barely move. His brawling with Sullivan struggles as both guys kind of go through the motions. Tanaka and Tazmaniac seem to be in submission holds when the camera pans back to them and then they randomly release the hold. Eventually Sheik throws a fireball which lets Tanaka pin Tazmaniac and nobody seems to care or think that was dastardly. Sullivan and Sheik keep fighting for a bit until they stop and just walk to the back. This sucked.
Mike Awesome vs JT Smith
I remember Awesome in the dying days of WCW and short run during the invasion. I have no idea who Smith. This was a few minutes of an amazing squash. Awesome is killing Smith with powerful looking moves and then Awesome dives over the top rope and crushes Smith against the protective barrier. Awesome gets rolled up for a flash pin out of nowhere. I was shocked. Awesome gets upset and pastes the referee with two powerbombs. This was fun and it was the first thing tonight, I would like to see more of the story as it goes on.
The graphic says this is Terry Funk defending the ECW title vs Sabu and Shane Douglas in a three way dance. Paul Dangerously who is Sabu's manager runs out and attacks Douglas' manager Sherri Martel. The match starts and I keep waiting on Funk to come out and join in but he doesn't. Eventually Styles mentions that if this match doesn't have winner in fifteen minutes then Funk will join in and make it a three way. I have never seen something like that before. Sabu tries to have a wrestling match and it is no good. So Shane Douglas tries to go out on the floor and brawl with Sabu and it is also no good.
Fifteen minutes goes by and Funk joins the match. Sabu botches and table spot and gets helped to the back. So it's one on one for awhile. It's a brawl through the crowd. This has gotten repetitive. It doesn't mean anything anymore. Half of the card has gone through the crowd. Eventually Sabu comes back and may be legitimately injured because everything looks difficult for him and he has been out of the match for twenty minutes. Or it could just be that Sabu sucks. Both are equally possible.
Funk goes up to the announce booth and calls out both Shane and Sabu to come fight him and calls them a litany of names. Only problem is that they can't hear him. It's not going through the arena only the TV audience. Two guys called the Rotten Brothers come out and beat up Shane and Sabu. The Rotten Brothers look like two Brian Nobbs from the Nasty Boys. Sabu fights with them to the back and eventually returns. All three guys are exhausted which is most understandable for Douglas the match meanders and is sloppy. Terry Funk beats up the referee with ten minutes left for no reason. In the final minute Douglas hits Sabu with a cross body which also catches Funk. Then Funk tries to pin both of them back and forth but their is no referee because he beat him up for being alive or something. The time limit thankfully expires.
This match was something. It was chaotic and wild. There were lots of parts that didn't make sense as they tried to give Funk and Sabu time for breaks. Kudos to Douglas for going the whole hour. However if you want to do a 1 hour time limit draw make sure it has three people who can go for an hour reasonably. If this was condensed into an hour and more importantly had the undercard not stolen the thunder from the main event, this could have been something.
This whole show was not good. I will watch the TV leading up to the next supershow and see if it helps make sense of this. I am lost and not entertained one show in.
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