Jeremy's Brother laid a mighty blow to Hardcore Cabinet's playoff chances as he pulled out yet another low scoring schedule aided win. No one on JB managed to break the 16 point barrier but several Hardcore Cabinet players were still on a tryptophan induced nap. In honor of your victory, Jason, I will let you enjoy this little nugget: For many years I have done a large exhale to reset my brain and refocus. This large exhale rumbles my large lips, and now every time I do it I can't help but feel it makes me look and sound like a horse thanks to your burns. I'm sure that brings you great joy. Enjoy it. You deserve it, little guy. Hardcore coach's made several game day choices that led fans to believe his brain was in a fog.....
Dollars defeated Stabmyballzrepeatedly in a high scoring affair between the likely 3rd and 4th seeds come playoff time. Josh Jacobs' 44 points almost single handedly defeated Dollars well rounded team. Dollars unleashed a good week as soon as he sent Russell Wilson to the unemployment line and prepares to hand the team over to DeShaun Watson who hasn't played a real game in front of a full stadium of fans since the 2019 season. Plus he has to worry about him getting another against her will rub and tug.....
Smug? I'm not smug. I'm just sitting over here not being bothered by being called smug. Nothing to see here. But quit saying it. Not that I care... Cause I don't.
Los Zapatistas did much better in his matchup than he did naming his team this week. Factual inaccuracies were abound and eventually he just committed Wolficide, thrusting Rush'n Missiles firmly into the drivers seat for the toilet trophy. The Miami Defense scored 22 points for the Shoes to rally past RM. Can I say that RM is a shell of his former self when he has always been shitty? A shell of his usual shit self? Doesn't roll off the tongue but it is accurate because RM since joining the league has been a slug....
Wait a second? Did somebody ask for the definition of smug because I decide that. I don't care what you guys think but I need to say something anyhow. Just to prove I don't care. Capeesh. NOT SMUG.
Ogre's Death Squad was able to move from the driver's seat for the toilet trophy to a surprisingly crowded back seat. (More on that later) Italian Stallions' playoff hopes are in their usual place on life support. It was recent trade acquisition Jalen Hurts and nothing else for the Stallions. It's a story of two schedules the rest of the way for who will be in contention for the toilet bowl. ODS gets Bay-Bay's and living on fumes Hardcore Cabinet. While Italian Stallions has to battle SMBR and $$$. That kind of schedule makes you want to grab some Leap and chug...
Man I am so glad that I couldn't care less about being smug. It is not up to me to decide but you know what? It is. I'm not smug nor do I care. Have I mentioned that I don't care? I'm tired of repeating myself.
Blue Gatorade took Bay Bay's best game of this season and told him where to shove it. Something involving bimbos and ass kissing. It's hard to tell because once that first sip of Zima hits your lips things go off the rails. No Fields no problem. Bay Bay's shit point total for the season has eliminated him from ending his rookie season in the playoffs. In fact the toilet bowl is quite the possibility. It was mercy killing on his terrible season. It is a good thing Blue Gatorade pulled the plug....
I was just over here not caring that people were saying that I am smug, when I couldn't help but hearing someone say that I was smug. Now mind you. I don't care about it, but I would have to be like (insert your own strained metaphor) to not at least make a comment about how not smug I am and you guys would know that if you were on my level. But you're not so you can't. So in summation, not smug, doesn't bother me, I'm better. Thanks.
Big Nasty Express healed Kyler's hamstring but Eh Bid Dude ripped his playoff chances clean off the bone. Tom Brady managed to get 22 points while playing really shitty against the Browns and led EBD to the victory that erased that .00001% of missing the playoffs. EBD is back on his bullshit again asking for his flowers after losing 3 out of 4 games. He says he should be in a class all his own and LZ should change his name in admiration. Eh Bid Dude hopes that the recent past is not repeatedly as he hasn't won a playoff game since 2016. I mean calm down on the horn tooting because it's somebody else's thing to be smug...
Yeah that's my corner. I mean, I'm not smug. Yeah, that's the ticket. Plus you can't be smug, EBD because I determine the definition of smug. It has been granted to me from the gods. Bestowed on my non-smug normal sized head.
Finally in other action, The Collegians lost their game.
BL, EBD, $$$, SMBR have all clinched playoffs, there is an infinitesimal chance that SMBR could fall out of the playoffs, but as long as he sets a lineup both weeks, he is good.
Completely eliminated from the playoffs are ODS, BB, RM. BNE and IS each have less than 0.68% of the playoffs. The toilet bowl is likely heading to RM with a 75% probability of finishing DFL with his DSL. BB's has an 18% chance, ODS 5% and BNE and IS each have less than 1%. So really if you think about it BNE and IS are basically playing for nothing these next two weeks.
Now what everyone actually wants to see, the playoff odds for the 5 squads fighting for 3 spots.
JB 90% HC 84% LZ 62% TC 36% BG 25%
Good Luck to all next week.
