HTPB 25.4

 

Every team has finally picked up their first win but two teams still refuse to lose although this week it was luck pulling them to victory rather than performance.

Hardcore Cabinet 171.52 defeats 152.42

In a shootout reminiscent of the rice patties of Vietnam,  Hardcore Cabinet outlasted the Dudes thanks to a combined 31 receptions, 381 yards, and 3 touchdowns from CD Lamb and Tet McMillan.  Maybe EBD could have pulled out the win if he had not angered the fantasy gods, but he put his foot in the mouth too many times leading into a matchup with Hardcore Cabinet.  He said HC needed to make some moves to turn the season around, mocked his low projections, and awoke a team that had been staggering drunkenly through the season.  EBD falls to .500 on the season and 18 games under .500 for his career. However, in reality, Hardcore's team is not good.  It starts Jakobi Myers and Oronde Gadsen weekly without bye weeks. Yet they find themselves in 4th place.  I am just as confused as you.

Big Nasty Express 99.32 defeats Rush'n Missiles 95.61

If you are going to have the season of dreams, it is important to sometimes get lucky, which is what BNE needed to remain in first place. The Missiles continue to just be Josh Allen and with Moore and Barkley going down, things could be going down a dark road for the defending champ. Ollie Gordon scored 19 points or 0.28 points per FAAB dollar spent.  BNE hopes Caleb returns soon as Geno Smith managed 119 passing yards in a game they were losing the whole time.  

Ogre's Death Squad 102.57 defeat Ogre's Death Squad 68.58

Jamyr Gibbs couldn't do the heavy lifting for the ODS and Lions.  Maybe elevety million touches a game will wear you down.  Both McConkey and Rice got injured and put up goose eggs for the Squad. The victory catipulted The Collegians all the way up to still in last place.  While the loss put the ODS as the worst team in the 2-2 log jam.  

Bay-Bay's defeat 141.98 defeat Dollars 124.78

Dollars has put up point totals of 132, 139, 105, 124 and that has lead to one win.  If Dollars still lived off of Shorb you know he would be having some drywall knuckles. Bay-Bay's got Puka and Nico back which definitely sounds like a show on Disney Jr, and they gave the squad 48 points.  The Chiefs and Dollars continue to ride Kenneth Walker.  Probably riding him reverse cowboy style. Dollars schedule will ease up a bit as he has already faced the two 4-0 teams. Can he take advantage. As of right now, Dr. Dollars playoff predictions are sitting at 4-3.  

Blue Gatorade defeats Tinker Stinkers 87.05

Blue Gatorade got 15 points from each of his 3 running backs and it was enough to send the Stinkers to 1-3 on the season. This season has been a real kick in the head for the Stinkers.  Two members of the team didn't even break 2 points.  Blue Gatorade unlike the other undefeated team has not gotten a cheap one, with each week scoring at least xxx points. BG matches his win total from each of the previous two seasons with 4.  

Stabmyballzrepeatedly defeats Bricklayers 

SMBR finally gets in the win column, thanks in large part to the difference in points from Higgins to Chase in the trade made by Bricklayers the night before. (Yes I know that it wasn't enough to get the win since so many other players sucked but I thought the clip fit well)  David Montgomery's last three weeks still haven't managed to total his first week explosion.  

Italian Stallions 116.52 defeat Los Zapatistas 109.03

Los Zapatistas goes through quarterbacks like he goes through underpants next to pick up trucks, as yet another QB goes down injured in this one.  The Italians and Bijan Robinson continued to "Eat the Rich"  handing The Shoes their third straight loss.  Big games from Bijan and Flowers along with great kicking and defense helped IS overcome rough games for Watson, Schultz, and Wicks. Can LZ turn it around to avoid their first losing season since 2020?

This week the picks were no bueno.  The only picker to be above .500 was ODS going 4-3.  The Missiles were all scuds as he took the 0fer.  The performances were enough to remove ODS from last but not enough to remove RM from first although he has plenty of company now. Check it out here.

1. Italian Stallions 38-14

2. Dollars 37-15

3. BNE 35-17

4. Blue Gatorade 33-19

5. Bay=Bay's 31-21

6. Bricklayers 30-22

7. Hardcore Cabinet 29-23

8. Eh Big Dude 27-25

9. Los Zapatistas 26-26

10.  Rush'n Missiles 18-34

11.  SMBR 16-36

12.  Ogre's Death Squad 16-36

13. Tinker Stinkers 15-37

14. The Collegians 13-39

Hard to do analysis so early but on thing is very clear.  Dollars has been screwed royally. A 7 spot gap is ridiculous.  Otherwise 6/7 current playoff spots would be taken up by the top of the power rankings.  The wolves aren't lone as they are all together in the bottom 7.  

Game of the Week

#2 Blue Gatorade vs #4 Hardcore Cabinet 

BG 6-3 

#1 BNE vs #11 LZ

BNE 13-9

#10 $$ vs #7 EBD 

$$ 16-7

#5 BB vs #6 BL

BL 3-2

#3 IS vs #13 TS 

IS 5-4

#9 ODS vs #8 RM

RM 8-4

Toilet Bowl Game of the Week

#12 Stabmyballzrepeatedly vs #14 The Collegians

SMBR 6-5

We are 30% done with the regular season already!!